Support NeoGAF

[Neeener]

Yes mikem you nailed it, it was supposed to be scientific underpinnings for a system of magic ... Tried this out as part of a larger idea I want to work on, totally fantasy and not supposed to be remotely scientific.

Spoiler

argh can't quote properly on my phone... Sorry for lack of context!

 

[frekifox7]

There were a lot of good stories, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the different ideas for this prompt. =} Choosing three was seriously hard, so I went with the ones that affected me the most.

1. Neeener- Faith Will Always Ease Sorrow (The visuals this inspired were just amazing! And the end; how could a person go back to normal after experiencing that?)
2. Sober- AND (I love a good romance, with a little struggle mixed in!)
3. Mike M- The Hinny (And this one stays with you like a bad rash, HA! Yuck Mike!)

 

[Sober]

Beaniedude - Pretty interesting mystery, although I can see where the word limit stops you. Hope you keep on it, seems like you've only just gotten started. Definitely if you had something else in mind as you said, hope you come back and get the chance work on it some more.

Keleesto - Ah, good, I love the occasional sword and sorcery story. Definitely some really good descriptions and world building there. Not sure if I particularly like the hopeless last stand, but one can hope they make it out alive.

Ourobolus - Kinda went entirely over my head there.

Ashes - Interesting progression. Sort of wish I had more to say here. The reveal at the end made it particularly interesting, as was each individual story.

Dandy Crocodile - Definitely an interesting supernatural threat in your story. Really liked the confrontation with the two bandits, very tense.

Flowersisbritish - Not sure I really understood why Isaac was trying to figure out 'magpie', except maybe to satisfy his own curiosity? It never really seemed very clear why he keeps at it, just that he seems to come to the conclusion it might all be for naught.

Tangent - I actually never understood the whole decorative pillow thing.

Frekifox7 - Your piece draws a great picture of a sense of dread and foreboding. Pretty intense imagery. Would've liked something a little more substantial at the end, if only to see exactly where it wants to move forward to. Mysterious.

FairyD - Liked the story of the sultan and the ring. Moving out from that, liked the affirmation of repetition everywhere.

Mike M - Definitely grotesque and disturbing. Is that .gif you described for real? Just sounds like a bad day overall for David.

Nezumi - that poor notebook and pen!

Cyan - Oh moms! Not very efficient if she sent 9000 troops just to make her son look good, just sayin!

Neener - Thinking on the ending is kind of depressing, really. Just a little weird the scientists just let her go like that knowing that could happen. The differences between how the elements interacted was fantastic.


Votes
1) Dandy Crocodile
2) Cyan
3) Keleesto
HM: Ashes

 

[Mike M]

Mike M - Definitely grotesque and disturbing. Is that .gif you described for real? Just sounds like a bad day overall for David.

Not specifically, though it was inspired by YouTube videos of mangoworm extractions and maybe a bit of the infamous "lotus boob."

 

[Tangent]

Btw, disclaimer on my story: I knew there was something that inspired me but couldn't remember what. It was Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Greg, the MC, used socks and pillows as reminders.

Votes:
1. FairyD
2. Sober
3. Cyan
hm. Neener

Comments:
I gotta wake up crazy early so I won't comment on everyone... just a few here:

Sober -- I liked the style of this and agreed with someone else who said it could be the premise of a YA novel. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was that I wish there was more of a conflict when Holly tried to decide to be with Danny or the other guy. She exposed how she really felt when she said, "Please take back the framed poem" right then and there, but just didn't have the strength to make the right decision immediately. It would have been cool if how she really felt was more convoluted and maybe if there was more conflict in their history as well...?

Ourobulus -- I have to look more that Henry's Law thing you posted. Your story flowed so well and was so easy to visualize but I was just left scratching my head at the end.

Beaniedude -- loved the music you recommended! It added a lot. And I liked the them of "pretty girls --> liars." I liked how "liars" wasn't always bad, too. And I liked how you tied in the secretary into the plot well.

Cyan -- your entry reminded me of a book you recommended to me! (Although the book wouldn't be my typical choice, I still enjoyed it immensely, which I think is testimony to how well the author wrote) Man, I can't remember the name right now because my brain is mush but it had a redhead on the cover. Well done for capturing that style.

I have to make everything count and can't go on long tangents for no reason.

Nothing wrong with tangents!!

The end petered out a bit for me, but the beginning was solid to get you interested in reading the rest.

Thanks, this was helpful because I wondered if I should have just stopped at Part 1, for example.

Also wasn’t quite sure why he felt the need to have a reminder to review his presentation in the morning. I mean, that’s the whole reason for the business trip, right? Wouldn’t the fact that he’s waking up in a hotel room far from home make him remember that he’s supposed to be doing that?

Oops did I say that? I meant to say that if he had thought of something to remember in the middle of the night with his racing night mind, he'd have a bunch of pillows available to him.

Nezumi: My, how topical. I wish I had such problems as too many video games to play : P

You have to make priorities, Mike M! More video games, or more drafts?

Good night peeps!

 

[Cyan]

Well, to be on the save side I just had a quill tattooed onto my lower arm. I mean if that doesn't work as a reminder, I don't know what will...

Have you considered pillows?

 

[Cyan]

Votes:
1. Sober- "AND" - cooties all over this story. It works, though. Sometimes relationship stories grab me and sometimes they don't, and this one worked. Funny enough, I think the secondary really helped you out here.
2. Neener- "Faith Will Always Ease Sorrow" - the elements stuff didn't bother me too much, but what did was that after all that thinking about her babies, they were forgotten in the end. I guess that was intentional.
3. Keleesto- "Traegen" - Smooth writing and a nice story, though a bit much time spent outside the entrance to the cave at the start. Felt slightly off that they surrendered so quickly to the inevitable, after all their fighting.

Other random notes:
Dandy Crocodile - fun to hear about La Llorona. She scared the shit out of me as a kid. I was always pretty sure she was going to come after me! I think this has already been said, but the only real weak point to me is the ending. Why doesn't La Llorona take her?

Mike M - yuck. I think my visceral disgust at this story is a sign that you succeeded at what you were going for.

 

[Nezumi]

Have you considered pillows?

I dont think I get the meaning of this.

 

[Cyan]

Cyan -- your entry reminded me of a book you recommended to me! (Although the book wouldn't be my typical choice, I still enjoyed it immensely, which I think is testimony to how well the author wrote) Man, I can't remember the name right now because my brain is mush but it had a redhead on the cover. Well done for capturing that style.

Ooh, Shards of Honor? Man, my dream is to write like her, she's amazing. I'll take it.

I dont think I get the meaning of this.

Awww, boo!

 

[Nezumi]

Awww, boo!

Great, now I feel even stupider, because apparently I should be able to get it... Enlighten me dammit!!!

 

[Cyan]

Great, now I feel even stupider, because apparently I should be able to get it... Enlighten me dammit!!!

You would have to read the stories!

 

[Nezumi]

You would have to read the stories!

Ahhh! I'm on it.
Last few days have been busy.


Edit:
1.) Dandy Crocodile
2.) Tangent
3.) Neeener

 

[Nezumi]

The Results are in and my, how close this one was. We have a three-way tie, with Dandy Crocodile, Neeener and Sober all at 12 points. But since our gentleman reptile accumulated no less than four first place votes, the crown goes to him.

1.) Dandy Crocodile -"A Ritual"
2.) Neeener - "Faith Will Always Ease Sorrow"
2.) Sober - "AND"

Vote Count:

Dandy Crocodile - 12 (4)
Neeener - 12 (2)
Sober - 12 (2)
Cyan - 8
Mike M - 7 (1)
Keleesto - 5 (1)
frekifox7 - 4
FairyD - 3 (1)
Tangent - 3


Congratulation Dandy Crocodile to your first (I think) win! Looking forward to what you'll come up for the next challenge.

 

[Mike M]

Congrats Dandy!

Now get that new topic going soon or else...

 

[Dandy Crocodile]

New thread!

(This is my Sally Field at the '85 Oscars moment.)

 

[creatchee]

Well, to be on the save side I just had a quill tattooed onto my lower arm. I mean if that doesn't work as a reminder, I don't know what will...

I've been thinking about getting a quill as well. Well, a quill and ink bottle.

This is an illustration by Norman Duenas (whose work I've already committed to my right shoulder) that I am 99% sure I want on my body in some regard.

 

[Cyan]

Yo, damn. Don't remember the last time we had a three-way tie. Congrats to Dandy Crocodile... and Neeener... and Sober.

 

[Mike M]

Yo, damn. Don't remember the last time we had a three-way tie. Congrats to Dandy Crocodile... and Neeener... AND Sober.

FTFY