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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #88 - "Rough Luck"

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C

Cyan

Banned
Theme - "Rough Luck"

Word Limit: 2000

Submission Deadline: Friday, January 13th by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Saturday, January 14th, and goes until Sunday, January 15th at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Optional Secondary Objective: impact final sentence
Give the final sentence of your story a powerful impact. This will most likely require several things:
-resting most of the weight of the ending on this single sentence
-giving the sentence its own paragraph
-brevity

Your mileage may vary on these requirements. But I want impact!


Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ


The Entries:

Ashes1396 - "Last few thoughts on a journey…"
LiQuid! - "Black Thirteen"
texasairhead101 - "The Country Life"
Bootaaay - "Sacrifice"
batbeg - "All Kinds of Messed Up"
Alfarif - "Iron Timothy"
ronito - "The Trinity Completed"
Grakl - "Terror"
bengraven - "The Bad Batch"
ShockingAlberto - "Crush"
Ward - "If It Wasn't for Bad Luck, I Wouldn't Have Any Luck at All"
Tangent - "The Gods Must Choose"
Cyan - "Contract"
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Please note that the submission deadline has changed from the usual, for thematic purposes.

And as long as we're messing with it, we might as well also see if it works better than the usual day. ;)
 
I

Incendiary

Banned
This is pretty hilarious. For some reason I'd missed all the writing challenges previously and just caught the latest one and thought I'd flex my brain and try and enter the next one. I also was randomly inspired today with an idea for a quick story.

Turns out my idea fits right in with the theme of rough luck. It's going to be slightly humorous though, so I'm not sure how to do the impact sentence.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Incendiary said:
This is pretty hilarious. For some reason I'd missed all the writing challenges previously and just caught the latest one and thought I'd flex my brain and try and enter the next one. I also was randomly inspired today with an idea for a quick story.

Turns out my idea fits right in with the theme of rough luck. It's going to be slightly humorous though, so I'm not sure how to do the impact sentence.
Click to expand...

Ha ha!

The punchline evades you... :p
 
L

LiQuid!

I proudly and openly admit to wishing death upon the mothers of people I don't like
I'm gonna try and give this a shot. I've never written anything creative before. It's hard. I've been staring at notepad for about an hour now and I've only gotten 300 words down. It's also disheartening when you doubt your idea every other sentence.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
LiQuid! said:
I'm gonna try and give this a shot. I've never written anything creative before. It's hard. I've been staring at notepad for about an hour now and I've only gotten 300 words down. It's also disheartening when you doubt your idea every other sentence.
Click to expand...

300 words an hour is better than 300 words a day.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Cyan said:
Oh man, I didn't even notice that juxtaposition. Fail!
Click to expand...

"You are to be kiilled."
"oh no please don't.. I haven't...er retrieved my suit from the cleaners for work next week."
"Oh.. okay... fair enough. Let him go... show's over. Go home. Nothing to see here."

edit: Oh wait fuck... Friday nights/saturday morning deadline submissions might not be a good idea for me and the work week. I get early off work during the week, but weekend supplements and their hefty load, mean I stay till pass the deadline... and the two week rotation means that it's always on my work week, not my dead week. crap... :/

Super early submission are coming your way...

edit: I actually prefer reading over the weekend like the poetry thread.. when people actually do that of course...
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Ashes1396 said:
"You are to be kiilled."
"oh no please don't.. I haven't...er retrieved my suit from the cleaners for work next week."
"Oh.. okay... fair enough. Let him go... show's over. Go home. Nothing to see here."
Click to expand...
Well hey, if the guy needs to retrieve his suit...
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Hm, I have an idea and it'll be greater than 600 words this time. I promise.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Ashes1396 said:
edit: Oh wait fuck... Friday nights/saturday morning deadline submissions might not be a good idea for me and the work week. I get early off work during the week, but weekend supplements and their hefty load, mean I stay till pass the deadline... and the two week rotation means that it's always on my work week, not my dead week. crap... :/
Click to expand...

We don't have to stick to this schedule in future. Also, you can do your submission on Wednesday if you prefer. ;)
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Cyan said:
We don't have to stick to this schedule in future. Also, you can do your submission on Wednesday if you prefer. ;)
Click to expand...

I was gonna suggest an ashes only mercy exemption for a 3 week period in both the poetry thread and the writing thread; just so that I can have the writing week on my off week, and the poetry thread on my on week.

But as it turns out, it takes me longer to write a poem than to write a story. I would never have believed that a couple of years ago. But it is how it turned out.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
LiQuid! said:
I'm gonna try and give this a shot. I've never written anything creative before. It's hard. I've been staring at notepad for about an hour now and I've only gotten 300 words down. It's also disheartening when you doubt your idea every other sentence.
Click to expand...

Gotta push through it, man. One of the hardest parts of writing is buckling down and writing, despite the little voice that tells you everything you're doing sucks. Ignore the voice!

Ashes1396 said:
But as it turns out, it takes me longer to write a poem than to write a story. I would never have believed that a couple of years ago. But it is how it turned out.
Click to expand...
Heh. Funny how that works. I suppose poems have to be much more intricate and intentional in construction.
 
I

Irish

Member
If you are going to go full dictator, make everyone wear a dress and aluminum foil while calling you 'Paps.'
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Delio said:
Why do I have literally no ideas for this :/
Click to expand...

Here's something to try: google image search for the theme, pick out a striking image (or just the first one that turns up), and start writing about it. See what happens from there.
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
LiQuid! said:
I'm gonna try and give this a shot. I've never written anything creative before. It's hard. I've been staring at notepad for about an hour now and I've only gotten 300 words down. It's also disheartening when you doubt your idea every other sentence.
Click to expand...

Ashes1396 said:
300 words an hour is better than 300 words a day.
Click to expand...

Which is better than not writing at all. Just a word of advice: when you're writing, don't edit. Basically, don't doubt your idea, just do it. When you start editing, then you can throw all of the crap out that you don't like and add in stuff that you think is infinitely better. Half of the time, unless it's an idea I've been meaning to write, I literally just come up with an idea on the spot and write until I get bored of writing. Sometimes the ideas are good and someone likes it, and sometimes the ideas are pretty damned terrible.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Rough luck...

And no that's not the password.

and neither is "neogaf". Although it will be that [neogaf] once the entry deadline has passed.

Blame address concerns to cyan.

Of course you can also crack the password. It's not that difficult. But so mundane that it's not worth it. And the story ain't that great either, so just wait it out...

In normal circumstances, we have this as a group password: neogaf
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Last night, while laying in bed, I thought about how all of my recent stories have been bloody, disgusting, or just really messed up. Is something wrong with me? Hold me, Writing-GAF.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Cyan said:
Heh. Is this so you can edit as the deadline approaches?
Click to expand...

Nah... Yes.... No...

Alfarif said:
Last night, while laying in bed, I thought about how all of my recent stories have been bloody, disgusting, or just really messed up. Is something wrong with me? Hold me, Writing-GAF.
Click to expand...

I write about psychopaths, prostitutes, slavery... Wait that's just the last couple of weeks... I write about snowy Christmases and happy endings too.

Stories ought to be related to themselves as much as possible. I say keep your self out of it. Nobody is interested in you.

Btw what did you recently write that was messed up?
 
L

LiQuid!

I proudly and openly admit to wishing death upon the mothers of people I don't like
Thanks for the pep talk guys. I ended up just keeping it really short. The idea was starting to wear its welcome in my mind so I just wanted to pull the trigger and get it done and not dwell on it too long. Especially since it's literally the first time I've tried writing anything other than bitchy rants on the internet about how much everything I consume sucks.

I'm gonna have a chum read it over when he wakes up and provided the google docs link works I'll throw it up here later today.
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Ashes1396 said:
I write about psychopaths, prostitutes, slavery... Wait that's just the last couple of weeks... I write about snowy Christmases and happy endings too.

Stories ought to be related to themselves as much as possible. I say keep your self out of it. Nobody is interested in you.

Btw what did you recently write that was messed up?
Click to expand...

I've never actually been able to write like this. I always have to step directly into the character's shoes and become them and them me.

I've been writing a lot of stories dealing with things getting pulled out of the human body and devoured. This kind of frightens me because 1) the internal organs gross me out/give me nightmares and 2) because they do, I've begun to think about them all the time... just sliding around against each other and pulsing and... GURK!

LOL
 
L

LiQuid!

I proudly and openly admit to wishing death upon the mothers of people I don't like
Alright here's my entry.

Title: "Black Thirteen"
Words: 494

https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1_SxuZfLU1YQYSgie5nWHH09_d_PMmLdfjKt1pf30QEM

Gonna go back to not thinking about words again. It makes my brain hurt less.

copypasta:

“Black thirteen.”

The dealer announced the result in harsh monotone. On any other day it wouldn’t weigh on a man, but today it seemed foreboding. Overwhelming. Miguel knew he only had two more chances to pull himself out of this mess now.

Miguel fidgeted restlessly. He watched as the dealer casually cleared away his chip that had occupied green double zero. He had played long odds, but long odds were the only chance he had to make it out of this alive.

Across the table were the game’s only other players: a young man and woman, who continued to notice only each other. They had been the lucky recipients of the spin’s only payout, doubling their bet on black, which they casually let ride.

As Miguel unclenched his clammy left fist to remove another chip, it felt as if they were gasping for air. He anxiously plucked one of his remaining two chips out and placed it gingerly on the game board, once again on green double zero.

The dealer set the wheel in motion, paused, and finally rolled the ball into play. Miguel didn’t pay much attention to its movement, opting instead to count his anxious swallows. Only the tell-tale tapping of the ball’s final movements managed to refocus his attentions. His heart sank as the dealer, with slightly more enthusiasm this time, called out the result.

“Black thirteen.”

The dealer again cleared Miguel’s chip from the board—perhaps more hungrily than before—and again paid out the young couple’s wager. Their solitary five dollar chip had become twenty dollars, but they continued to pay little mind to goings on outside their embrace.

Miguel placed his final, precious chip on green double zero and prepared himself. Spin. Pause. Roll. Spinning on. Spinning on and on. Eyes closed. Praying. Hoping. Willing some unseen force of happenstance to show him mercy and intercede on his behalf, in this his greatest time of need. What seemed like an eternity had passed and Miguel seriously considered accosting the poor wheel to hurry it along when he heard the dealer belt out the result.

“Black thirteen.”

“Well shit,” fumed Miguel, perhaps too brusquely for the mixed company. “That fucking sucks!”

For a few moments Miguel stared at the wheel, the incredulous dealer and the young couple—now practically necking, still unaware of their newly amassed fortune. Then he turned and dejectedly made for the exit.

He couldn’t remember now why he’d even decided on green double zero. Had he seen it in a movie? Probably some suave hero that never failed to pull the unlikely win from the jaws of bitter defeat.

Whatever the reason, it hardly mattered now. No one was writing the unlikely story of Miguel Rodriguez’s life. He was just another loser with an empty belly. He scowled at the sign on his way out of the casino that read “ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET! $19.99”.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Alfarif said:
I've never actually been able to write like this. I always have to step directly into the character's shoes and become them and them me.

I've been writing a lot of stories dealing with things getting pulled out of the human body and devoured. This kind of frightens me because 1) the internal organs gross me out/give me nightmares and 2) because they do, I've begun to think about them all the time... just sliding around against each other and pulsing and... GURK!

LOL
Click to expand...

Emotions are difficult enough to put down on the page I suppose. Some people put on mood music, to feel their way around subjects. Do whatever works best for you.

I wouldn't worry too much on how it reflects on you; then again I'm not the type to worry about splash-backs. The truth is the truth whether I speak it or somebody else does. :p

I tend to dig into things I'm interested in, and see where that leads to. Endings can be sad, horrible, good or whatever, but I'm more interested in the right ending rather than the one that feels right. And for that to happen, you gotta have distance, no? But again, I always have distance from my stories, so its easier for me to say as much. :p
 
T

texasairhead101

Member
The Country Life

This uncomfortable silence that lingers between me and Dave is making the next word said too heavy a burden. Once again theirs an argurment that we both know what the genesis is, or who I should say.

Me and Dave have grew up together. Since I was little we haven't been seperated from each others prescence, always their for each other. We would take long walks going nowhere on a whim. Talking about anything without fear of holding any subject back. Life was a dream everyday and it felt like nothing would ever change. Till she came.

Her name was Pamela. A short skinny girl with black hair. She started coming with us on some of our walks everynow and again. Her and Dave would both talk ignoring my existence when I was standing right next to them. I made it clear that I didn't like her to Dave and I felt for sure she felt the same. Dave brought up the topic casually, almost joke like so the question could be brushed away with ease, he appluaded me in a boasting fashion. She smiled in way that made her face scrunch up as if she could'nt even muster a real smile and agreed simply to move the conversation quickly away. But there was nothing I could do it seemed. She came more and more and eventually moved in as third roomate.

She moved her way into our lives so fast and soon made her move against me with Dave. It would start with small things that irratated her that could be ignored but I was being watched all the time for any reason to complain. I was alone from Dave now. My life had changed into a dreadful bore. I had finally lost it; ignored my better judgment and turned into an animal full of rage. And that is what leads me here in the car with dave now.

We finally stop in a wooded area I've never seen. Dave says we need to talk. I'm so bothered by what has happened I only make out every other word. He finishes what he has to say and gets out of the car. I follow suit and am standing by Dave looking up at him and he says “Flash, your a good dog but shitting in Pam's shoes and tearing up her clothes means I have to choose between you or her and... well". "Its rough here on a farm but theres nothing else I can do” Dave then gets back in the car and drives away.

:)

Thanks for reading if you did. This is the first writing challenge I've done and simply wanted to try it because these threads always come up and I say i'm gonna do this and never do. Its a little short and not serious but maybe I'll try it again with more effort next time. Was more fun than I thought it would.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Posting by request of our boy Zeph, who's apparently perma(!)-banned. :(


Kindle All Stars 1.5 has been announced!

"This is a YA oriented collection that WILL be distributed to school
children in Africa as part of a larger project called Worldreader
http://www.worldreader.org/support.php
Keep it clean. Absolutely no profanity will be allowed.
We're looking for about 10-15 never before published short stories
fewer than 20 pages in length."

Submission Guidelines:

1. ONE space after each word, comma, or semicolon
2. TWO spaces after a period, question mark, exclamation point or colon
3. ZERO spaces between words and dashes or hyphens
4. QUOTATION MARKS are " NOT '
' should only be used for apostrophe and a quote within a quote
5. PARAGRAPH INDENTS should be a single tab (or auto-indent) with no
extra spaces and should not be made using spaces at all--check every
indent in your story
6. PARENTHESES are to be used as per this example: (keep calm and carry
on) notice there are no spaces between the parentheses and the letters
7. PROOFREAD your own submission after its final edit is approved
8. LANGUAGE--if you would normally write in the Queen's English, submit
your story in the Queen's English, otherwise submit it in American
English
9. FONT should be Calibri set at 12 pts, double spaced
* If your version of WORD does not have Calibri, use Times New Roman
10. BREAKS should have no extra empty lines and should be separated
with ***
11. ALIGNMENT should be to the left, not justified--please do not
center your title or your byline
** ALL DOCUMENTS should be in .doc or .docx format and double-spaced

Initial submissions that do not meet the guidelines may be declined.
Final submissions that do not meet the guidelines will be declined.

Please also provide the following:

--a clear photograph
--a 2 to 3 sentence bio that follows the formatting guidelines already
discussed
--any relevant links including your twitter, website and/or blog,
goodreads profile, etc

Make sure your submission is as publication-ready as possible. We will
not be doing line edits. It would behoove you to have an
editor/proofreader look at your submission before you send it even if
that's just another writer friend.

March 2nd is the submission deadline, all submissions go to
kindleallstars@gmail.com.
 
G

Grakl

Member
I'm back! Yeah, in that furry thread I was trying to mock people who make fun of gays. Seems that the joke was on me.

Will have some fun with this one. Won't make it unnecessarily vague, haha.

EDIT: Zeph banned? I hope this isn't a curse or something for writing-age.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Grakl said:
I'm back! Yeah, in that furry thread I was trying to mock people who make fun of gays. Seems that the joke was on me.

Will have some fun with this one. Won't make it unnecessarily vague, haha.
Click to expand...
Welcome back! Glad you made it.

EDIT: Zeph banned? I hope this isn't a curse or something for writing-age.
Click to expand...
For Zeph, getting banned is a hobby. I guess it finally hit the point of no return.
 
I

Irish

Member
Son of a bitch... I was actually about to sit down and start writing too. Guess I have a few more days to actually come up with something (or not) instead of just making crap up as I go along...
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Irish said:
Son of a bitch... I was actually about to sit down and start writing too. Guess I have a few more days to actually come up with something (or not) instead of just making crap up as I go along...
Click to expand...

Damn, that's actually kind of too bad. If you'd gone nuts and written something today, you could've had some time to edit it later.
 
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