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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #[##] - "[#]"
- Thread starter Ashes
- Start date
- Status
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
*Looks at title* The fuck Mike. The fuck...
REBELLION!!!
#entry
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is damp, and in the distance you hear dripping water.
> TORCH
I don't understand
> LIGHT
LIGHT what?
> INVENTORY
You are carrying:
a backpack
five rations
a box of matches
> LIGHT MATCH
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. The light from your match does not show what lies without.
> EXIT
I don't understand
> LEAVE
I don't understand
> GO
GO where?
> GO EXIT
I don't understand
> GO DOOR
I don't understand
> LOOK
LOOK at what?
> LOOK ROOM
You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. A thin shadow lies across the floor.
You are hungry.
> EAT RATION
You eat a ration. You are no longer hungry.
Your match has gone out.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is damp and cold, and in the distance you hear dripping water.
> ASDFHDAFGKLH
I don't understand
> LIGHT MATCH
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. A shadow lies across the floor.
> GO OPENING
As you walk toward the opening, a gust of wind blows out your match.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is freezing, and in the distance you hear dripping water.
> LIGHT MATCH
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. A broad shadow seeps across the floor.
> LOOK
LOOK at what?
> LOOK SHADOW
I don't understand
> LOOK BROAD SHADOW
I don't understand
> LOOK ROOM
You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an impossible shadow that bends arounds the light, taking up most of the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. The light from your match does not show what lies without.
Your match has gone out.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is freezing, and the chill of it bites into your bones. In the distance you hear dripping water.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are hungry.
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in what might be a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. There should be a room here, you feel you know that much, but there is so little to see. A rough stone ceiling and the hint of walls and then darkness. If there is an exit you don't see it.
> LIGHT MATCH
You light another match. The darkness curves away from its flame, but just a little, not even as much as it did for the first match. You see a rough stone ceiling and the hint of walls and then darkness.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are hungry.
You light another match. The darkness curves away from its flame, but just a little, not even as much as it did for the previous match. You see a rough stone ceiling and the hint of walls and encroaching darkness.
> LIGHT ALL MATCHES
I don't understand
> LIGHT MATCH LIGHT MATCH LIGHT MATCH
I don't understand
> LIGHT MATCH
You are hungry.
You light another match. The darkness curves away from its flame, but just a little, not even as much as it did for the previous match. You see a rough stone ceiling and encroaching darkness.
You are out of matches.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are out of matches.
> GO OPENING
I don't understand
You are hungry.
> LOOK ROOM
You stand in a dark room. A tiny pool of light around your hand, and then only darkness. The matchlight does not warm you. It seems a beacon for the dark, calling it to you, pulling it in. The air is cold enough to fog your breath. The shadows press in.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are out of matches. Your match has gone out.
You are hungry.
> LOOK ROOM
It is dark. You can see nothing but black. You can hear nothing. You can smell nothing. You can feel nothing but the freezing air, the chill of it biting into your bones.
Your fingers are numb.
>
It is dark. You can see nothing but black. You can hear nothing, but you are starting to think that maybe you do hear something. You can smell nothing. You feel nothing but the bone-deep cold.
>
It is dark. You can see nothing.
>
It is dark.
>
It is dark.
You are afraid.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is damp, and in the distance you hear dripping water.
> TORCH
I don't understand
> LIGHT
LIGHT what?
> INVENTORY
You are carrying:
a backpack
five rations
a box of matches
> LIGHT MATCH
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. The light from your match does not show what lies without.
> EXIT
I don't understand
> LEAVE
I don't understand
> GO
GO where?
> GO EXIT
I don't understand
> GO DOOR
I don't understand
> LOOK
LOOK at what?
> LOOK ROOM
You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. A thin shadow lies across the floor.
You are hungry.
> EAT RATION
You eat a ration. You are no longer hungry.
Your match has gone out.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is damp and cold, and in the distance you hear dripping water.
> ASDFHDAFGKLH
I don't understand
> LIGHT MATCH
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. A shadow lies across the floor.
> GO OPENING
As you walk toward the opening, a gust of wind blows out your match.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is freezing, and in the distance you hear dripping water.
> LIGHT MATCH
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an assortment of loose rock on the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. A broad shadow seeps across the floor.
> LOOK
LOOK at what?
> LOOK SHADOW
I don't understand
> LOOK BROAD SHADOW
I don't understand
> LOOK ROOM
You stand in a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. The room is empty but for an impossible shadow that bends arounds the light, taking up most of the floor. A narrow opening lies before you, the only exit. The light from your match does not show what lies without.
Your match has gone out.
It is dark. You can see nothing but black, and while you can smell a soft decaying fungal smell, there isn't the slightest hint of iridescent mold. The air is freezing, and the chill of it bites into your bones. In the distance you hear dripping water.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are hungry.
You hold a flickering match above your head. You stand in what might be a small cave, rough-hewn from raw stone. There should be a room here, you feel you know that much, but there is so little to see. A rough stone ceiling and the hint of walls and then darkness. If there is an exit you don't see it.
> LIGHT MATCH
You light another match. The darkness curves away from its flame, but just a little, not even as much as it did for the first match. You see a rough stone ceiling and the hint of walls and then darkness.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are hungry.
You light another match. The darkness curves away from its flame, but just a little, not even as much as it did for the previous match. You see a rough stone ceiling and the hint of walls and encroaching darkness.
> LIGHT ALL MATCHES
I don't understand
> LIGHT MATCH LIGHT MATCH LIGHT MATCH
I don't understand
> LIGHT MATCH
You are hungry.
You light another match. The darkness curves away from its flame, but just a little, not even as much as it did for the previous match. You see a rough stone ceiling and encroaching darkness.
You are out of matches.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are out of matches.
> GO OPENING
I don't understand
You are hungry.
> LOOK ROOM
You stand in a dark room. A tiny pool of light around your hand, and then only darkness. The matchlight does not warm you. It seems a beacon for the dark, calling it to you, pulling it in. The air is cold enough to fog your breath. The shadows press in.
> LIGHT MATCH
You are out of matches. Your match has gone out.
You are hungry.
> LOOK ROOM
It is dark. You can see nothing but black. You can hear nothing. You can smell nothing. You can feel nothing but the freezing air, the chill of it biting into your bones.
Your fingers are numb.
>
It is dark. You can see nothing but black. You can hear nothing, but you are starting to think that maybe you do hear something. You can smell nothing. You feel nothing but the bone-deep cold.
>
It is dark. You can see nothing.
>
It is dark.
>
It is dark.
You are afraid.
Our Realities
Word count: 1218
#entry
Word count: 1218
I was thinking of going for the super optional secondary and submitting a first draft which I actually produced, but it felt weird to submit a first draft when it'd be waste of time for anyone to read. Perhaps one of the goals of the super optional secondary was to get over that weirdness.
#entry
SIX MINUTES
Honestly, I don't even know what to write right now. My mind has been a blank the past few weeks. Maybe it's just the prompt, but it doesn't really stir anything in me. Is that a problem? That I can't just have something at the ready willy-nilly? Writer's block perhaps? I don't know. I feel really neutered just thinking about it.
FIVE MINUTES
It feels awfully cliche of me to write one those pieces where it's just a self-insert and writer's block takes over. I thought I was over this. Am I just not as creative as I thought I was? How could I possibly become a TV writer at this pace? It requires - probably does - more discipline than that. That's still my dream. But so far away.
FOUR MINUTES
I feel like I stood in the shower for half an hour trying to come up with something to write for this. Six minutes? All I could really come up with is "Stream of consciousness". I feel like I'm new to creative writing all over again if that's the best I can come up with. At least I feel like I'm typing faster with the pressure on me.
But goddamn.
Not even a cheap sci-fi tale with a gooey moral to it that I feel has been repeated.
I also just cheated going past minute four by typing these two extra lines.
THREE MINUTES
I'm kinda hating this mechanical keyboard I bought a while ago. It's not those loud Cherry Blue switches but it's taken a while to get used to. I haven't been home cause I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend now and she lives (basically) on her own so it beats spending time with at my parents.
Seriously though can I even become a serious TV writer?
I feel like I watch cop shows or Canadian shows to make myself feel better and think I can maybe pull this off.
TWO MINUTES
Part of me is a little bitter that television writing is so spare and hard to find in Canada, and not really respected. But trying to make my way in L.A. sounds like a huge nightmare. But some nights it keeps me up thinking about how awesome it could be. Maybe if only I were white it might help some.
I mean for now real estate isn't too bad of a profession.
ONE MORE MINUTE
I don't think it's a bad profession at all but I feel like it really blunts any creative process in the meanwhile. I have to be productive if I want to do well, and it's difficult enough already trying to find time if not something to write about. I just hope in a few years I don't come out and lose that dream of mine. It's not just something to hold onto, but something I want to make happen.
Maybe more than anything? Who knows.
TIME'S UP!
-----
#entry
Honestly, I don't even know what to write right now. My mind has been a blank the past few weeks. Maybe it's just the prompt, but it doesn't really stir anything in me. Is that a problem? That I can't just have something at the ready willy-nilly? Writer's block perhaps? I don't know. I feel really neutered just thinking about it.
FIVE MINUTES
It feels awfully cliche of me to write one those pieces where it's just a self-insert and writer's block takes over. I thought I was over this. Am I just not as creative as I thought I was? How could I possibly become a TV writer at this pace? It requires - probably does - more discipline than that. That's still my dream. But so far away.
FOUR MINUTES
I feel like I stood in the shower for half an hour trying to come up with something to write for this. Six minutes? All I could really come up with is "Stream of consciousness". I feel like I'm new to creative writing all over again if that's the best I can come up with. At least I feel like I'm typing faster with the pressure on me.
But goddamn.
Not even a cheap sci-fi tale with a gooey moral to it that I feel has been repeated.
I also just cheated going past minute four by typing these two extra lines.
THREE MINUTES
I'm kinda hating this mechanical keyboard I bought a while ago. It's not those loud Cherry Blue switches but it's taken a while to get used to. I haven't been home cause I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend now and she lives (basically) on her own so it beats spending time with at my parents.
Seriously though can I even become a serious TV writer?
I feel like I watch cop shows or Canadian shows to make myself feel better and think I can maybe pull this off.
TWO MINUTES
Part of me is a little bitter that television writing is so spare and hard to find in Canada, and not really respected. But trying to make my way in L.A. sounds like a huge nightmare. But some nights it keeps me up thinking about how awesome it could be. Maybe if only I were white it might help some.
I mean for now real estate isn't too bad of a profession.
ONE MORE MINUTE
I don't think it's a bad profession at all but I feel like it really blunts any creative process in the meanwhile. I have to be productive if I want to do well, and it's difficult enough already trying to find time if not something to write about. I just hope in a few years I don't come out and lose that dream of mine. It's not just something to hold onto, but something I want to make happen.
Maybe more than anything? Who knows.
TIME'S UP!
-----
#entry
Legal citizens
FlowersisBritish - Good People
zulux21 - Black Saturday Prequel
mu cephai - keyboard smash
Ward - The pit is a lie
Mike M - THE LEGAL STANDING OF INDIVIDUALS AFFECTED BY ADVANCED PHASE GANGLIONPERIATIS ROSANI
Cyan - > ###
Illegal immigrants:
Tangent - Our Realities
Sober - first draft, last minute
Refugees
Nezumi - untitled
Carlisle - Well Fuck
Nitewolf - Sidetracked
Missing Aliens
Ashes - her narrative
-
Since I'm in the birth place of democracy, I guess I will leave it to you to vote how you like - where late and really late entries are concerned. I myself intend to just pick my favourite three.
Clue for newbies for my entry : stuff is easily hidden in posts. And harder to see on mobile.
FlowersisBritish - Good People
zulux21 - Black Saturday Prequel
mu cephai - keyboard smash
Ward - The pit is a lie
Mike M - THE LEGAL STANDING OF INDIVIDUALS AFFECTED BY ADVANCED PHASE GANGLIONPERIATIS ROSANI
Cyan - > ###
Illegal immigrants:
Tangent - Our Realities
Sober - first draft, last minute
Refugees
Nezumi - untitled
Carlisle - Well Fuck
Nitewolf - Sidetracked
Missing Aliens
Ashes - her narrative
-
Since I'm in the birth place of democracy, I guess I will leave it to you to vote how you like - where late and really late entries are concerned. I myself intend to just pick my favourite three.
Clue for newbies for my entry : stuff is easily hidden in posts. And harder to see on mobile.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
I'm honestly too tired to be surprised at Ashes hiding his entry right now.
Give in to sleep. I would not go looking personally.
Fuck, fuck fuck! Screw that wordlimit. I already cut out two entire scenes and it is still too long :/ OK, I think to not further cripple my story I better leave it for now and come up with something shorter... and quick... which isn't hard at all without a prompt to go by...
Edit: I give up
#entry
Procrastination
Bane of productivity
Always the same shit
Edit: I give up
#entry
Procrastination
Bane of productivity
Always the same shit
maybe if you put your stuff out in the open you wouldn't need to go on holiday to avoid people
Yet another non-entry #entry. I need to start carving time out of my schedule solely for writing rather than waiting for moments of free time.
The moment has come
For yet another poem
I will do better
Edit:
At least I can try to tackle the secondary!
New draft:
Writing is pleasure
Then how can it be so hard?
Procrastination!
The moment has come
For yet another poem
I will do better
Edit:
At least I can try to tackle the secondary!
New draft:
Writing is pleasure
Then how can it be so hard?
Procrastination!
Think I missed the deadline, but I banged this out after not writing anything for about...what, 2 years?
https://www.dropbox.com/s/vyx7i6ait9n4epu/sidetracked.docx?dl=0
#ENTRY
https://www.dropbox.com/s/vyx7i6ait9n4epu/sidetracked.docx?dl=0
#ENTRY
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Ah sorry. If you ever see a password protection but no password in site, its usually all the same password. Anyway just quote this post and you can see the password.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
I also agree with this. Mostly cause there is no way i have time to read through the stories until tommorrow.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
and I wasn't expecting the adult nature of FlowersisBritish
Yeah I know,
First person-Present tense
Okay, votes now, feedback maybe tomorrow if I can get to it. My kid's staying home tomorrow, so I have to do the all day dad thing with her, which can make writing difficult.
Guess we're spoiler tagging this now...
I think it is largely owed to the parameters of this challenge laid out by Ashes, but in general this week felt very... fragmentary.
Guess we're spoiler tagging this now...
1. FlowersisNotBritish
2. Cyan
3. Sober
2. Cyan
3. Sober
I think it is largely owed to the parameters of this challenge laid out by Ashes, but in general this week felt very... fragmentary.
Okay fine. Maaaaaaybe, I went too far this week.
Thank you all for playing; the deadline is extended by a day.
Welcome back nitewulf! Hope to see more out of you.
Yeah hopefully, as long as the themes aren't too experimental, to be honest my writing style won't really change as that's what I just do, it's more about getting the thoughts out.
I'm starting to feel stupid. How the hell did he hide it. I thought it would be just email tags, but I found nothing... Help!
God damn it, Ashes!
>.> and here I thought I gave it away about complaining about them going on holiday in response to "Clue for newbies for my entry : stuff is easily hidden in posts. And harder to see on mobile."
Super quick and dirty feedback. If anyone wants anything more in depth, hit me up in a PM.
- FlowersisBritish: Got the impression that the kids were really young (like... 7 or younger), which begged the question of why their mom was going off to work and leaving them alone all day.
- zulux21: I'd have rather have read this story itself than read one about a character relating it back to me. Some of the details (most notably the color of the drug) would make sense in that presentation, but sound unnatural when presented as dialog.
- mu cephei: Man, what kind of dogs has that one guy been seeing where he thinks their eyes glowing red is just something they do?
- Ward: The pit clearly did exist and was not at all a lie. Shenanigans!
- Mike M: Another in my long-running series of premises that I think are cool but aren't able to really hang a story around.
- Cyan: I secretly really enjoy creepypasta. You know, when I can bother to sort the good stuff from the shit. This was not shit.
- Tangent: I don't think their first contact protocol was well considered at all, they could be walking into a To Serve Man kind of situation for all they know.
- Sober: We've all been there. Pretty sure we all live there.
- Nezumi: Yeah, well, I got what I wanted out of you this week, so I'm satisfied : P
- Carlisle: Yep. That's a poem, all right.
- nitewulf: Some minor missing punctuation, but otherwise technically sound. Pacing took a huge hit when it got to the conversation in the pub, though.
- Ashes: You thought you could hide, but you couldn't.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
I've only read Flowers and Mike's entry thus far, and I'll get to the rest tomorrow, but it's interesting to see the difference between the rough draft and cleaner version. I quite enjoyed the concept of Mike's entry as well. It seems weird that this would not be a military or hazmat discussion though, considering the spores. Reminded me of an Outer Limits episode.
That is totally fair. I really should have done that, but for the sake of getting something out there I used an Idea that I had been tossing around for a bit.
the thing is the viewer isn't actually supposed to read my story, I am supposed to be doing it as actual voice acting. (and actually have done it a few times already but not that version though I did do a lot of it writing it to make sure the awkward speech felt right) I also know the pacing got screwed up because it was 10 different short stories combined into 1 lol.
thus I know it was a poor entery and was getting sad no one would even comment on what they disliked about it. but I did finally enter one of these challenges which is something I need to do as my writing still has many flaws.
I am currently in a state where I have this epic story to tell, and only I can tell it, but my ability to translate what is going on in my head to paper is average at best. thus my story really is only average at best. I am hoping by trying to do more of these challenges I will figure out more stuff and improve the quality of my work. and maybe just maybe instead of working towards the end of the story I can actually get the first book in a state that I could release it some day. I have high goals... I want to release a book from my main project that someone reads and tells me legitimately that "they didn't mind reading it"
here's hoping the next one has more structure and would fit with something a bit out of my comfort zone but still within something I can do. I've had to skip a few from even thinking about doing them because I didn't want to punish you guys with something so bad that you hate me for reading it lol.
to be fair as I do more challenges and get better, I still am willing to bet a number of you guys won't like my style anyways, as my style is very light novelish.
Without context that sounds rather creepy, lol.
Yeeeeeeeeaaaaah it does. Oops.
Posting 4 Tangent (login issues again):
Hey guys, I didn't see that there was a different deadline along with the visually huge prompt! My story would have made it for a normal Friday PST deadline, but sorry it was late for the Thursday deadline. Next time, can we make that deadline blink or be in red or in bigger font if it's different than usual?
**Votes:
1. Flowers is definitely British
2. Ward
3. Cyan
hm. Sober
**I wasn't able to read Mike M's story. When I clicked on it, it said, "The request contains an invalid URL." *shrug* Now I will never know if I would have given his story a first place vote.
**Votes:
1. Flowers is definitely British
2. Ward
3. Cyan
hm. Sober
**I wasn't able to read Mike M's story. When I clicked on it, it said, "The request contains an invalid URL." *shrug* Now I will never know if I would have given his story a first place vote.
Posting 4 Tangent (login issues again):
Hey guys, I didn't see that there was a different deadline along with the visually huge prompt! My story would have made it for a normal Friday PST deadline, but sorry it was late for the Thursday deadline. Next time, can we make that deadline blink or be in red or in bigger font if it's different than usual?
**Votes:
1. Flowers is definitely British
2. Ward
3. Cyan
hm. Sober
**I wasn't able to read Mike M's story. When I clicked on it, it said, "The request contains an invalid URL." *shrug* Now I will never know if I would have given his story a first place vote.
Ashes's link to my post is busted, but my actual link works for me.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
No responses from me this week. Sorry everybody.
1. Mike
2. Tangent
3. Sober
1. Mike
2. Tangent
3. Sober
This has happened twice before IIRC, though it was a good long while ago. I think we went with "least recent winner," i.e. the person with the longest time since their last challenge win.
Well in this case:
The results!
1.) Tangent - Our Realities
2.)FlowersisBritish - Good People
3.) Mike M - THE LEGAL STANDING OF INDIVIDUALS AFFECTED BY ADVANCED PHASE GANGLIONPERIATIS ROSANI
Vote Count:
Tangent - 11 (3)
Flowers - 11 (3)
Mike M - 9 (1)
Ward - 4
Cyan - 4
Sober - 2
Ashes - 2
Congratulations Tangent (and Flowers technically)! Looking forward to the next, hopefully more normal, challenge.
- Status