I think you are projecting copious amount of rage and frustration into the most inappropriate context and towards the most inappropriate targets.
I am not denying that what you describe is and will always be shallow, irritating, limiting and, as a general tendency in certain entertainment subcultures, may constitute a source of very justified concern. I for one am not sexist at all, never been, never will become such. So please, first of all, refrain from ascribing myself (as well as many others that have disagreed with your opinions) to a category of belligerent males who want to preserve the status quo of their implied dominance. That is just as irritating as the injustice you claim to be battling for.
In this specific case I feel such forms of indignation are improper and seem overly malicious. No one knows how contingent and how contextual that kidnapping scene shall end up being. No one has any certainty right now on the exact role and dimension that scene will entail in the whole presentation of the game. Besides, let me state it another time perhaps more clearly, this is a very simple game whose narrative is just a pretext to gameplay, in typical Nintendo style.
Therefore, provided that in general I would concur with every smallest strain of battle for gender equality, why don't we try to be a little more cautious and objective with our campaigns, without resorting to these explosions of anger and claims of social injustice even when such things are evidently uncalled for?
I am a man, and my first reaction was "not this shit again", too. It gets very tiring seeing the same pervasive imagery all the time, doesn't it? It absolutely comes across as a Damsel in Distress situation regardless of whether Toadette "grabbed the star" or not, and there's nothing wrong with expecting better.
I'm afraid I don't see the same explosion of anger, or a "battle for gender equality", just some people expressing their disappointment at yet another game making use of the same brain dead story set-up that could have been more interesting to start with. Being a gameplay-focused Nintendo game doesn't really have anything to do with it, and it shouldn't be given an automatic free pass by everybody for that reason.
You are correct that this outlook could change depending on how things are resolved in the game, but with what we have so far, there's nothing wrong with expressing disappointment at how the story is set-up IMO.