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[Gurthang]

OP, trust me... you'll be OK with that.

Both being virgins is not all it's cracked up to be.

There are no virgin girls left tbh.

I mean all these gym bros are pulling chicks left and right. They probably have 100+ sexual partners a year. Absolutely no way a cute girl is virgin after the age of 20.

 

[Sakura]

To all the guys in here waiting so long with getting girlfriends - why wait?

Not trying to put any of you on the spot or make fun of you, just trying to say that I have a handful of friends in the same position, who are sad about it, but who have also seem to have given up. There's no reason to stop trying. If you don't feel confident in how you look, a new haircut, maybe some new clothes and some exercise can make a world of difference (and I say this as a not-pretty guy. You don't have to look like Jeff Goldblum to get a girlfriend, it's all about feeling confident in your own skin).

These days it's perfectly normal to use dating apps/websites to set up dates, and the worst-case scenario with a date is that you have to go out for dinner/whatever with someone you don't click with and never have to see again. If you don't feel confident going on dates, the only thing to improve that feeling is going on more dates.

It's also never a bad thing to ask friends if they might have some single friends who might be a right fit for you, especially if you're a bit older. Your friends know you, and if they're the kind of friends who give you shit because of it they're not really friends.

Again, not trying to make fun of anyone, but nobody deserves to be alone. There's no use in waiting - the longer you wait the harder it is to get back into the game. Think of it like this - even Hitler got himself a girl. Surely you're not as bad as him (

Spoiler

although he did have a pretty ambitious career mapped out, with him trying to be ruler of the world and all, but you catch my drift

)

It's not really like I'm "waiting". There have been girls I've been interested in, but any time I try to initiate anything it doesn't seem to go anywhere. The girl I like right now says she doesn't see me as a romantic interest. At some point I think it is normal to feel like giving up.

Also, to make excuses, I am pretty busy and have a hard time meeting people. Today is my 20th shift in a row, and I also have school and stuff too, so even if there was a girl who appeared out of nowhere and was interested, I'm not sure when I would find the time to actually go out somewhere with her.

 

[bananafactory]

There are no virgin girls left tbh.

I mean all these gym bros are pulling chicks left and right. They probably have 100+ sexual partners a year. Absolutely no way a cute girl is virgin after the age of 20.

 

[N.Domixis]

Thread reminds me of this

wow, imagine what her family must have been thinking lol.

 

[inked_illusion]

You just have to accept that your future gf/wife be will very sexually experienced. Not just in terms of sexual partners but also in sex frequency. Are you ok with that? Girls will settle down for you I'm sure when they hit 30.

Yeah I'm ok with that, I mean I need to get some practise to at some point.

Still love that analogy from somewhere, "You can't expect to defeat the Elite Four (plus Gary)with just your starter pokemon."

 

[i-Lo]

To all the guys in here waiting so long with getting girlfriends - why wait?

Not trying to put any of you on the spot or make fun of you, just trying to say that I have a handful of friends in the same position, who are sad about it, but who have also seem to have given up. There's no reason to stop trying. If you don't feel confident in how you look, a new haircut, maybe some new clothes and some exercise can make a world of difference (and I say this as a not-pretty guy. You don't have to look like Jeff Goldblum to get a girlfriend, it's all about feeling confident in your own skin).

These days it's perfectly normal to use dating apps/websites to set up dates, and the worst-case scenario with a date is that you have to go out for dinner/whatever with someone you don't click with and never have to see again. If you don't feel confident going on dates, the only thing to improve that feeling is going on more dates.

It's also never a bad thing to ask friends if they might have some single friends who might be a right fit for you, especially if you're a bit older. Your friends know you, and if they're the kind of friends who give you shit because of it they're not really friends.

Again, not trying to make fun of anyone, but nobody deserves to be alone. There's no use in waiting - the longer you wait the harder it is to get back into the game. Think of it like this - even Hitler got himself a girl. Surely you're not as bad as him (

Spoiler

although he did have a pretty ambitious career mapped out, with him trying to be ruler of the world and all, but you catch my drift

)

Some of us are not cut out for it. Why waste time fighting it & consequently wasting time, money etc, instead of pursuing other activities that brings one joy or fulfillment?

 

[Frozenprince]

Yeah I'm ok with that, I mean I need to get some practise to at some point.

Still love that analogy from somewhere, "You can't expect to defeat the Elite Four (plus Gary)with just your starter pokemon."

I think we found the culprit.

 

[Jackben]

That's a kinder way of saying the only vagina you've been in is your mom's.

 

[Boem]

Or into the game in the first place. I haven't so much as asked a girl out in...11 years? Yeah, the summer before college.

Sure, doesn't really matter in the end though. You're definitely not the only one. All it means is perhaps, some extra nervousness when you try to start again.

Ask yourself this: would you rather be a guy who hasn't asked someone out in 11 years, or in 12 years? Or 15? Or 20? If you're waiting for some magic moment to happen by itself, I'm afraid it doesn't often work like that. Again: no use in waiting while you could be dating. Just think of it as hanging out with someone you don't know yet for an evening. They might like you, they might not. You might like them, you might not. I've had disastrous dates, and all those have left me with are some fun stories for my friends.

Of course, this is assuming you want to date at all/don't have some personal stuff to sort out first. Nothing wrong with that of course. Not trying to push you, just saying that, if you're unhappy with a situation like this, they only thing you can do to change it is to actively do something - otherwise it'll just go on indefinitely. There are millions of girls out there with millions of different personalities - surely one has to be a match for you.

As someone who had his awkward/too introvert period - the moment I realized going on dates could be fun (even without them resulting in sex/a relationship) if I just stopped thinking it wasn't for me, my entire life changed. More confident, more fulfilled, and I even got to see boobies a couple of times (

Spoiler

and, more importantly/more sickingly sweet: fall in love

). No sense in thinking girls wouldn't be interested in you without even trying.

 

[SgtCobra]

It's not the end OP, don't listen to your mom and do your own thing at your own pace.

 

[inked_illusion]

That's a kinder way of saying the only vagina you've been in is your mom's.

Oh shit, this one got me real good.

 

[TheSadRanger]

I came into this thread thinking it was gonna be about some indie rock band.

 

[FO-totality]

It's also never a bad thing to ask friends if they might have some single friends who might be a right fit for you, especially if you're a bit older. Your friends know you, and if they're the kind of friends who give you shit because of it they're not really friends.

I asked a female friend this once. She thought about it for a good several minutes and had to admit she couldn't think of anyone for me. It kinda hurt, lol.

 

[Frozenprince]

I asked a female friend this once. She thought about it for a good several minutes and had to admit she couldn't think of anyone for me. It kinda hurt, lol.

Your friend was just being a bitch tbh.

 

[Boem]

It's not really like I'm "waiting". There have been girls I've been interested in, but any time I try to initiate anything it doesn't seem to go anywhere. The girl I like right now says she doesn't see me as a romantic interest. At some point I think it is normal to feel like giving up.

Also, to make excuses, I am pretty busy and have a hard time meeting people. Today is my 20th shift in a row, and I also have school and stuff too, so even if there was a girl who appeared out of nowhere and was interested, I'm not sure when I would find the time to actually go out somewhere with her.

I do think that feeling is normal. I've had that feeling. I'm not saying anyone needs to go out tonight and find their one true love - stuff like that needs time. My comments were aimed more at those who never/rarely actually try/have given up. As sappy as it sounds, I just honestly believe there are multiple possible someone's out there for everyone. It's not like women are a different species, they're only human and come in just as many different personalities as us. Finding the right one can take time, sure, but I hope you won't give up forever just because you've been turned down. It hurts, but it happens to everyone.

Also, nothing wrong with devoting more time to yourself with work/studies right now. Just as important.

Some of us are not cut out for it. Why waste time fighting it & consequently wasting time, money etc, instead of pursuing other activities that brings one joy or fulfillment?

I don't believe anybody is 'not cut out for it'. I felt like that, and I'm really not some sort of modern casanova or anything. I'm a skinny white guy who likes reading and nerdy, boozy conversations about nothing with friends. I'm not trying to paint myself as some beach hunk with great abs or anything. And, as soon as I realized that I was done being by myself and put some effort in putting myself out there, I realized that there were plenty of girls willing to hang out, have a great time, and in some cases develop something (although I'm out of the dating game now, living together with my almost 3-year girlfriend now).

I know it's hard to take those first steps, but don't think of it as 'fighting' or 'wasting time'. Don't see a date as a possible first step to sex/a wedding. Just think of it as getting to know someone and having some fun conversations, and just see what happens after that. I know rejection can hurt, badly, but if you're going to ignore that completely and focus entirely on video games/tv shows/whatever - that kind of happiness just doesn't last.

Again, some people are apparently happier alone. That's totally fine. Nobody needs a girlfriend, but I do think that anybody can have a girlfriend. No matter how undateable they might think they are (and I used to be extremely undateable).

Even if it means you need to work on yourself a little bit (not change who you are, just making yourself slightly more presentable/comfortable/happy with yourself), I'd say it's worth it.

 

[GTP_Daverytimes]

How old was she when you started dating?

She was 18.

 

[inked_illusion]

snip

I agree, but there will be a point where the only choices are to settle down with someone who might less than your standards or just be alone.

I honestly think there's no such thing as a "soulmate" but there is a chance of finding the right person at the right time.

There's always hope but you have to let it be natural instead of just forcing it.

"Chase a butterfly and it will always fly away."

 

[UraMallas]

My first girlfriend came at 21 so theres that.

And you dated her for years 19 and 20?

 

[Frozenprince]

I agree, but there will be a point where the only choices are to settle down with someone who might less than your standards or just be alone.

I honestly think there's no such thing as a "soulmate" but there is a chance of finding the right person at the right time.

There's always hope but you have to let it be natural instead of just forcing it.

"Chase a butterfly and it will always fly away."

If you have never found someone that meets your "standards".

You need to lower them.

 

[Corronchilejano]

There are no virgin girls left tbh.

I mean all these gym bros are pulling chicks left and right. They probably have 100+ sexual partners a year. Absolutely no way a cute girl is virgin after the age of 20.

It's a bit sad that this is one of the things in the minds of people.

 

[Metrotab]

24 years old, same situation. Probably never gonna change since I don't even like meeting new people and going to social events. I'm good enough at platonic workplace communication to not be a social outcast or weirdo, luckily, but anything beyond that is out of my reach, so I couldn't even see myself going on a date and interacting with another person in a flirty way or anything like that.

Living alone is just much closer to my natural state of being. Ever since recognising that truth I've been much happier and more content about my life, since I'm no longer stressing out and overthinking any conversation I have with other people. All that energy can now be put to other uses that render me more benefits. Maybe this may be true for other people too, which is why I post it.

 

[EchoChamber]

I'm in the same situation but I have already had some dates so hopefully when the vacations finish I will try again.

 

[inked_illusion]

If you have never found someone that meets your "standards".

You need to lower them.

Am I sensing some hostility?
I do me, you do you. Thanks for your advice though.

 

[Joyful]

its no big deal op

I mean everyone will ridicule you relentlessly if you tell them
stare, laugh at you behind your back, etc

u just need confidence
ignore facts like success leads to confidence and a lifetime of alienation
fake normality and lie like theres no such thing as consequences
u can do it

 

[Not]

And you dated her for years 19 and 20?

Wow, a lot of people here love puns

 

[Boem]

I agree, but there will be a point where the only choices are to settle down with someone who might less than your standards or just be alone.

I honestly think there's no such thing as a "soulmate" but there is a chance of finding the right person at the right time.

There's always hope but you have to let it be natural instead of just forcing it.

"Chase a butterfly and it will always fly away."

Sure, although I don't believe in 'standards' or 'settling'. Never be with somebody just because you think you'll always be alone otherwise. That's a terrible reason to get/stay in a relationship. As for standards: there's no actual scale on which people are judged. At least, not when it comes to falling in love. The moment you're trying to apply certain requirements ('she must be blonde/small/into games/whatever'), you're playing a losing game. Don't try to play a game at all, just connect with people.

I agree in part with not trying to force it (not every date needs to end in sex/a relationship - it's about trying to have a fun night and about not thinking beyond that). But just sitting around and hoping you'll magically lock eyes with someone across the room at some party isn't necessary either. Nothing wrong with trying, and using dating apps/friends setting up blind dates is totally worth doing if you've been alone for a long time and tired of it. Not everyone leads a life where they automatically meet new people all the time - especially people who have a hard time approaching strangers in the pub/at parties. But yes, don't force anything or think that you need a date to work out. Being rejected/rejecting someone sucks, but it's part of it and totally fine.

Edit: Also, for the people talking about girls never being interested in older virgins/just being interested in big, beefy gym guys - the kind of girls who think like that just make up a very small segment of the overall population. Women aren't some mystical force - they have actual personalities and their own preferences. Most of them aren't nearly that judgmental. Don't try to compare yourself too much to people completely unlike you, or think that you need to measure up to them to have a chance. Like I said earlier, I'm a nerdy, kinda goofy guy. I'm the proof that girls who dig that (instead of slick bodybuilder types) exist, and they can be cute/pretty/whatever as hell.

And I've never been flirty. I wouldn't even know how to be. Just be yourself. Learn to be comfortable about who you are.

Sorry for all these long posts people. Just trying to help.

 

[lightskintwin]

If you have never found someone that meets your "standards".

You need to lower them.

LOL Talk about some harsh truths.

 

[Squalor]

Where's that thread about Millenials' not banging anymore?

 

[Not]

Am I sensing some hostility?
I do me, you do you. Thanks for your advice though.

OP, the "standards" thing was my excuse in high school when I was too scared to ask girls out for fear of rejection. Just making sure that's not the case with you-- haven't been following all of your responses.

 

[Frozenprince]

Am I sensing some hostility?
I do me, you do you. Thanks for your advice though.

There is no such thing as standards.

Just hang out and date and figure things out. don't worry about superficial shit or if you're not "connecting".

Enjoy another human beings company on an intimate level. Then move on from there.

All you're doing by establishing some BS pie in the sky butterfly to chase is giving yourself an excuse to never go out there and make yourself vulnerable.

 

[Metrotab]

its no big deal op

I mean everyone will ridicule you relentlessly if you tell them
stare, laugh at you behind your back, etc

u just need confidence
ignore facts like success leads to confidence and a lifetime of alienation
fake normality and lie like theres no such thing as consequences
u can do it

This destroys the soul. I tried being an extrovert once, following all the popular advice of "faking confidence" and "going out of my comfort zone". It damaged me severely and I wish I never tried it.

 

[LyleLanley]

Am I sensing some hostility?
I do me, you do you. Thanks for your advice though.

If you've never dated anyone and it's because no one has lived up to your standards it couldn't hurt to at least think about reconsidering your standards.

 

[Corronchilejano]

Am I sensing some hostility?
I do me, you do you. Thanks for your advice though.

Do always take advice as hostility? Seriously. You seem a tad on the defensive, lighten up.

Do you want to talk about how to approach women or you just wanted to share this anecdote?

 

[Huff]

I hope all you forever virgins weren't in the cargo short threads claiming you wear them and won't stop

 

[inked_illusion]

There is no such thing as standards.

Just hang out and date and figure things out. don't worry about superficial shit or if you're not "connecting".

Enjoy another human beings company on an intimate level. Then move on from there.

All you're doing by establishing some BS pie in the sky butterfly to chase is giving yourself an excuse to never go out there and make yourself vulnerable.

You know what, I'll actually follow this. Thanks dude.

 

[GraveRobberX]

Today is my birthday.

Ive never had a girlfriend.

Your allergic

Stay away from the cooch
You mean too much to me Escape Goat

 

[Frozenprince]

You know what, I'll actually follow this. Thanks dude.

Relationships are all about just talking. If you don't gel, there's nothing wrong with that. If one fails. There's nothing wrong with that. If you get hurt. There's nothing wrong with that.

You just have to go out, try, make yourself open and vulnerable and let people in. And eventually you'll find someone who lets you in that you like being around more than anybody else.

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

There are no virgin girls left tbh.

I mean all these gym bros are pulling chicks left and right. They probably have 100+ sexual partners a year. Absolutely no way a cute girl is virgin after the age of 20.

I thought Elliot Rodger died

This is literally the same shit he said.

 

[guek]

What are ya, gay?

No, for real, maybe your mom is worried about that. She wouldn't be the first parent.

 

[KdylanR92]

This thread is depressing.

I'm rooting for you guys that never had a GF, you can do it!

 

[Gurthang]

Its not really about standards or anything.

There are tons of Alpha males that are not willing to settle down. These men only care about raising their sexual partners count and will have sex with any average looking girl that shows any slight interest in them.

If a girl can be with an alpha guy, even for a week, then why on earth would she have to settle down for less? That's the reality. Its simple as that. You can blame it on confidence or whatever everyone else tells you. But its not the truth. The truth is there are alpha males who have lots of sexual partners and they are the reason you don't have a girlfriend.

 

[inked_illusion]

Relationships are all about just talking. If you don't gel, there's nothing wrong with that. If one fails. There's nothing wrong with that. If you get hurt. There's nothing wrong with that.

You just have to go out, try, make yourself open and vulnerable and let people in. And eventually you'll find someone who lets you in that you like being around more than anybody else.

Yeah honestly you're right, probably had the best time talking to some chick for a good week on okcupid. Never went anywhere though.

 

[The Hermit]

Am I sensing some hostility?
I do me, you do you. Thanks for your advice though.

hes not wrong though

you have to start low , grow confidence and get someone better.

Btw, have you tried datting apps? I've been using for two months since I broke up and its basically grenade fishing, I had sex with more girls in this 2 months than all my previous 30 years.

And yes, the first one was far from pretty.

 

[GifGafIsTheBestGaf]

Your mom sounds cool op. Happy birthday

 

[LyleLanley]

Its not really about standards or anything.

There are tons of Alpha males that are not willing to settle down. These men only care about raising their sexual partners count and will have sex with any average looking girl that shows any slight interest in them.

If a girl can be with an alpha guy, even for a week, then why on earth would she have to settle down for less? That's the reality. Its simple as that. You can blame it on confidence or whatever everyone else tells you. But its not the truth. The truth is there are alpha males who have lots of sexual partners and they are the reason you don't have a girlfriend.

I can't tell who's joking anymore.

 

[NESpowerhouse]

Join the club, we've got T-shirts.

This next year in college tho... I'm gonna get me some puss!

Spoiler

Probably still going to spend all of Valentine's Day playing P5.

 

[marrec]

I can't tell who's joking anymore.

The last sentence brought me around and I think it's totally a joke.






...maybe

 

[Kaizer]

I'm in the same situation OP, currently 24, will turn 25 next March and have never had a girlfriend. I'm no longer wallowing in a pity party - I haven't been happy with my appearance in years & I've finally decided to make a permanent change about it.

Started by drastically cutting down the amount of porn I watch so I don't always wake up so tired in the morning. Also I've been hitting the gym pretty consistently (4 to 5 days out of the week) & watching my diet for the past 3 weeks. I feel SUPER TIRED lol, but I'm also happy with the fact that I feel like I'm starting to gain a little more confidence in myself. Gonna be finding a job around here pretty soon, which will force me to be more social with a lot people and I'm looking forward to growing as individual.

 

[Boem]

Its not really about standards or anything.

There are tons of Alpha males that are not willing to settle down. These men only care about raising their sexual partners count and will have sex with any average looking girl that shows any slight interest in them.

If a girl can be with an alpha guy, even for a week, then why on earth would she have to settle down for less? That's the reality. Its simple as that. You can blame it on confidence or whatever everyone else tells you. But its not the truth. The truth is there are alpha males who have lots of sexual partners and they are the reason you don't have a girlfriend.

Really, really don't agree with this. I really don't like that people actually think like this.

Sure, the kind of women you describe exist. But if that's what they're interested in and you don't fit that image, why would you worry about it? There are tons and tons of other women out there, who aren't interested in the slightest in those types of macho guys. While I'm fine with those macho-seeking women doing whatever they want, I can't see myself in a relationship with them. I'm not what they're looking for, and they're not what I'm looking for (ignoring the fact that I'm spoken for at the moment).

Don't waste your energy imagining how you'll never fit into the sexy wild lives of models. There's no actual divide between 'pretty' and 'ugly' people. People are attracted to different people. Personalities, looks, it doesn't matter in that way except for the most vapid of people. Find someone who fits with you, not someone who lives like Hank Moody in Californication if that's not who you are (and do note that that show is completely about the loneliness of the main character).

Assuming that every pretty girl is just interested in pretty, beefy guys with good one liners is pretty problematic.

 

[GraveRobberX]

By the way I'm 36, never had a date or kisses a girl...

Some people are here to suffer through life alone
Thank fuck I was born in the technology era

At least video games, tech give me reason to live on, no joke...
Just to see what the future brings

If any other era, I'd be 6 feet under way long ago...