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NGSB (No Girlfriend Since Birth)
- Thread starter inked_illusion
- Start date
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Don't lose hope, GAFers.
In June I was convinced I would die alone. No real relationships before.
I met a guy on Grindr and we've been dating for 6 weeks and were serious and in love now and it's the best days of my life.
Your life can change suddenly. Don't lose hope!
Edit: also I am 25! I was a virgin until now!
In June I was convinced I would die alone. No real relationships before.
I met a guy on Grindr and we've been dating for 6 weeks and were serious and in love now and it's the best days of my life.
Your life can change suddenly. Don't lose hope!
Edit: also I am 25! I was a virgin until now!
LookAtMeGo
Member
Congrats dude!
bitbydeath
Gold Member
25 here and never even have been kissed by a girl
About to graduate though, and kinda want to use that as a point to make some changes in my life. I am already a bit more confident then I used to be (but still not great).
Just ask a random one up front and say you were dared to ask by a friend and point to a stranger. She says no, move on, try again. Some girls like spontaneous and will do it on a whim.
You'd be surprised with what you can get away with just by asking.
Just like this guy-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AwOqCTT9PoE
Chaos2Frozen
Member
Imagine waiting 25-30 years to get a girlfriend only to find out you're bad at relationships and broke up.
Then have to wait another 25-30 years for a second chance.
Then have to wait another 25-30 years for a second chance.
This is one weird topic with a lot of weird views and opinions.
All I can say is, do what you do.
If you enjoy being single and have full control on what you want to do every day and that makes you happy, be it playing games or travel around the world to where you want to travel and only you, amazing.
If you think it sucks there's not a whole lot of ways to fix that than either putting yourself out there and hope to find something, or do activities that you like in a more public space so you might meet someone with a common interest right off the bat.
But whatever you do, enjoy yourself. It's the most important thing. Forcing something because of "social norms" is not the way to go.
All I can say is, do what you do.
If you enjoy being single and have full control on what you want to do every day and that makes you happy, be it playing games or travel around the world to where you want to travel and only you, amazing.
If you think it sucks there's not a whole lot of ways to fix that than either putting yourself out there and hope to find something, or do activities that you like in a more public space so you might meet someone with a common interest right off the bat.
But whatever you do, enjoy yourself. It's the most important thing. Forcing something because of "social norms" is not the way to go.
Sunster
Member
I love these threads. 50+ men dropping knowledge, telling it like it is
, "listen bro this right here is how you get urself a chick" or "These are all the reasons life isn't fair for guys like us" Then occasionally a woman pops in and is like, "wtf are you guys talking about?" "No."
/s
Hahaha, no, you couldn't be farther from the truth, gym bros like me arent really as popular as you seem to think.
Looks arent everything.
I think I was 25/26 before I did; looking back I had many chances but didn't see it; I didn't think people would like me but they did...back then.
First one was the worst experience of my life and stressed me out so much, second was through an online dating site. Both long distance. I found out during those periods I cannot stand being in a close relationship with someone, they just pissed me off no end and I need my own space. Oddly enough even now single I rarely have my own time to myself, just me..
Everyone else who's been there knows exactly what I'm about to say.
Be careful, 6 weeks is nothing.
First one was the worst experience of my life and stressed me out so much, second was through an online dating site. Both long distance. I found out during those periods I cannot stand being in a close relationship with someone, they just pissed me off no end and I need my own space. Oddly enough even now single I rarely have my own time to myself, just me..
Everyone else who's been there knows exactly what I'm about to say.
Be careful, 6 weeks is nothing.
1,5 years ago I thought I would also never find a girlfriend. I was 22, many of friends were in relationships and the ones that weren't had at least had sex, probably many times. I was a virgin. Then me and some friends were at a bar and we heard some people next to us talking about Tinder, and how the guy was meeting a girl later. We decided to download it and yeah it went from there. Went on many dates, had some short flings, and eventually found my GF when this year started, been together since then.
For anyone that thinks of themselves as well-adjusted, normal, likeable people that don't hate themselves and can actually speak to women, but just are bad at romance (this used t be me): PLEASE try online dating. Tinder, OkCupid, Coffee meet Bagel, Plenty of Fish, Happn, Match, Bumble; the list goes on. It's such a good way of confirming that there's interest before meeting, which was (and still is, though I'm in a relationship now) my main hangup. When you meet someone from an online dating service, you know they're at least somewhat interested, both in your looks and your personality. If they weren't, they wouldn't meet you in the first place. Then it's just practice practice practice. Go on many dates, it's how you get good at it. You'll learn the romance part naturally. If you don't, then ask in the online dating OT (or just the dating one). Get good pictures. If you don't have any, ask a friend to take some.
If you don't fit the criteria listed above, start earlier. Work on yourself, get therapy, something.
For anyone that thinks of themselves as well-adjusted, normal, likeable people that don't hate themselves and can actually speak to women, but just are bad at romance (this used t be me): PLEASE try online dating. Tinder, OkCupid, Coffee meet Bagel, Plenty of Fish, Happn, Match, Bumble; the list goes on. It's such a good way of confirming that there's interest before meeting, which was (and still is, though I'm in a relationship now) my main hangup. When you meet someone from an online dating service, you know they're at least somewhat interested, both in your looks and your personality. If they weren't, they wouldn't meet you in the first place. Then it's just practice practice practice. Go on many dates, it's how you get good at it. You'll learn the romance part naturally. If you don't, then ask in the online dating OT (or just the dating one). Get good pictures. If you don't have any, ask a friend to take some.
If you don't fit the criteria listed above, start earlier. Work on yourself, get therapy, something.
inked_illusion
Member
Got you covered:
Nice touch on the comic sans.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
Sometimes you don't realize it yourself that you might some fatal personality flaws that all your friends could be too polite to tell you.
So you could be going around thinking you're a good person but making all kinds of socially awkward mistakes.
Also, don't get into a male heavy course like Engineering heh
So you could be going around thinking you're a good person but making all kinds of socially awkward mistakes.
Also, don't get into a male heavy course like Engineering heh
inked_illusion
Member
Not really, I'm usually the initiator to go outside and go to bars and such but most of my good friends are either broke or not willing to go out. Tried going by myself but it's a bit harder than being with friends honestly.
Edit: been there, dropped that.
chicko1983
Member
I went to an all boys school and then did engineering and now work for a consultancy where 80% of employees are male.
Im the only one of my mates who is still single (32yo here).
I have flings, but rarely last more than a couple of months. I'm adopted and are sure that plays into the fear of commitment for me.
Lashley
Why does he wear the mask!?
Chaos2Frozen
Member
Quick question apologies if you've already mentioned it- do you have problems talking to girls in general or just the ones you have an interest in?
Funyarinpa
Member
Happy birthday!
inked_illusion
Member
I do but to some extent but it's a bit easier now than before. Drinking one beer helps but I can't be intoxicated all the time just to talk to them.
I do strike up a conversation and see where it goes but mostly it ends up being small talk.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Considering that 'millenials don't want sex anymore' according to a clickbait article it may well be harder for the rest of us to find people to sleep with. I'm bad at connecting with people emotionally thanks to years of video games and the internet, though. It's a difficult thing for me to repair now. The damage is too ingrained in my psyche already. I'm 23.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
"Hi how are you?"
"Fine how are you?"
"Good good."
"..."
"..."
Something like that right?
Too many guys treat significant others like mythical creatures that are ONLY attracted to you by your looks, that you need to treat with silk gloves and an effort that overshadows anything you do in school or work life.
Of course, being good-looking is usually a perfect ice-breaker to lessen the challenge at first, but being social, confident, outgoing, a bit flirty (or at least show intentions quite clearly) and trying to be yourself as much as possible is what actually drives home a potential relationship. In other words, just being a "gym bro" or a looker ain't worth shit if you don't provide the more important qualities early on, but it's also not rocket science to say that those factors help with the most important factor of them all, confidence. Remember, potential partners also have the same mindset and seek emotional connections and affection, so try to meet halfway!
Of course, being good-looking is usually a perfect ice-breaker to lessen the challenge at first, but being social, confident, outgoing, a bit flirty (or at least show intentions quite clearly) and trying to be yourself as much as possible is what actually drives home a potential relationship. In other words, just being a "gym bro" or a looker ain't worth shit if you don't provide the more important qualities early on, but it's also not rocket science to say that those factors help with the most important factor of them all, confidence. Remember, potential partners also have the same mindset and seek emotional connections and affection, so try to meet halfway!
inked_illusion
Member
Yeah but nowadays I try to add in either a compliment on whatever they're wearing or ask them a question about something. (Ex. Cool username, how'd you get that?)
Still using Tinder and okcupid and for the most part, most of my messages go unreplied but I keep at it.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Looking at a lot of computer science students in my uni I'm pretty sure almost all of them are virgins. Bad dress sense and poor grooming everywhere. Doesn't help that they only talk about nerd stuff when I talk to them, which is cool, because I'm kind of a nerd, but you need to balance that out with mainstream hobbies. You need to self improve, broaden your horizons and be the best person you can be. Which is definitely easier said than done.
who are you messaging on tinder when they dont respond ? the ones who dont respond to my messages are usually the instagram model type 10/10s lol
Chaos2Frozen
Member
I was a big Warcraft III fan back in the days.
Natural born or by cesarean section?
Works for me
kavanf1
Member
"Hi how are you?"
"Fine how are you?"
"Good good."
"Oh I'm Chaos2Frozen by the way."
"Hi Chaos, I'm Calmness2Boiling."
*smile and shake hand* (Warning: this involves physical contact, don't do anything beyond a confident handshake while making eye contact. Licking or kissing her hand, drooling, or shuddering with obvious sexual ecstasy are all frowned upon.)
"Nice to meet you Calmness...so do you work/study here in (town/city)?"
"Yes, I....blahblahblah" (at this point she will probably be delighted to have something to say about herself, all you need to do after that is pick up bits and pieces from what she says and throw them back at her to keep her talking about herself. And don't be afraid to interject now and then with relevant input from your perspective. If the conversation starts to die down think back over what you've already discussed and pick something out to talk about, or else take it off in a different direction like holidays, jobs, video games, whatever. You don't need to consciously flirt, being interested in her and getting her to talk about herself while looking interested in what she has to say is enough.)
Then you use your panty-dropper line:
"That's great. Would you like to come back to my place so I can show you how far video games have come since Super Mario Bros?"
(don't use that last line)
The sooner you stop worrying about getting laid and not having a girlfriend, the sooner you can actually start focusing on improving yourself and your own life.
Get your life together and do what you love. Never stop learning or improving. You'll meet someone eventually. It's not a damn race, nobody gives a shit.
Get your life together and do what you love. Never stop learning or improving. You'll meet someone eventually. It's not a damn race, nobody gives a shit.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
Or she just stonewall you.
inked_illusion
Member
Maybe those that aren't interested?
Plus I'm not interested in the 10/10s.
I do talk quite a lot about media and such but music's my main topic of interest.
Hahahaha. You're still salty about this, huh
25 here and never even have been kissed by a girl
About to graduate though, and kinda want to use that as a point to make some changes in my life. I am already a bit more confident then I used to be (but still not great).
Honestly, it isn't what it is all cracked up to be. Don't get your hopes up too high, every girl you see that you think is amazing someone is sick and tired of her shit. Just work on improving yourself, things will happen when they happen. If they don't, well, you got a pile of cash for yourself that you didn't spend on someone else, and all the personal time in the world to do what you want to do.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
Your mom roasted you pretty good mate. Call your friends and go out a lot. Not just out to pubs/clubs at night, but concerts, shows, etc etc. Don't be anti social. Get a gf before the next 365 days so your mom doesn't say that again.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
Fighting with my gf right now. sometimes i wish i didn't love sex so much.
You don't need a relationship to have intercourse.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
True, but it can make it easier.
Nocturnowl
Member
26 as of a few weeks ago and still in that predicament OP, damn if I haven't come closer than i've ever been in the last year to getting something going but oh well, it'll come with time and effort I'm sure.
Just gotta keep improving myself I guess.
The Lamp that shines in the darkness, showing us that there is indeed light.
Just gotta keep improving myself I guess.
The Lamp that shines in the darkness, showing us that there is indeed light.
Vincent Grayson
Member
Why would you expect to be good at something you've never done before? I know I sure as shit was not a great boyfriend to my first girlfriend. But that didn't stop me from pursuing other relationships and improving myself.
The Artisan
Member
happy birthday OP.
i'm over a year older than you and i've got ngsb too.
i'm over a year older than you and i've got ngsb too.
I had a lot of fairly intense relationships when I was just getting into my 20's and then I didn't really date for years, had another intense relationship, then didn't date for like 5 years. I honestly though I'd be going it alone for the long haul but met a random girl through gaming of all things and we hit it off wonderfully. Not a given it will be forever but its rare I meet someone I mesh so well with. Its not impossible and sometimes it just falls into your lap when you're least expecting it.
Women are like video games, you have to constantly upgrade your hardware or you won't be able to get the newest 3rd party AAA software, if you get what I'm saying.
Women are the dark souls of women
Women are like rubbicks cubes in that I'm too lazy to treat them like anything other than an unsolvable puzzle when in reality they're just
people you nerds
InfiniteBento
Member
men going to the gym = women over the age of 20 cant be virgins
ive legit seen everything on gaf now.
FunkyPajamas
Member
You can't explain that!
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
You need to replace the batteries in your sarcasm detector.
Kiever Sher
Member
I made the choice to try and date late last year. I was solo for years and years. It was a pretty terrible crash course. I fell for a girl right off and, apart from like two weeks and only kissing in the physical sense, she made it clear she only wanted to be friends. I fucked it up completely by being so anxious and wanting her to tell me she liked me etc (even though she told me that tons) So I pretty much destroyed any chance by being all mental. Held on to the minor/sporadic contact thing for months and months.
Since then I've dated a bit and I guess I'm in a friends with benefits thing now. So still NGSB I guess but I know more now and stuff. I still sorta wish I didn't have that first thing though, feelings depth wise. It's like someone said in here, if you've never had something you don't miss it. And I still miss that first girl every day. I can totally understand if some people don't think it's worth the risk to engage with people. Like I don't want to go through all that heartbreak again but I definetley want a girlfriend. So I dunno. Catch 22.
Since then I've dated a bit and I guess I'm in a friends with benefits thing now. So still NGSB I guess but I know more now and stuff. I still sorta wish I didn't have that first thing though, feelings depth wise. It's like someone said in here, if you've never had something you don't miss it. And I still miss that first girl every day. I can totally understand if some people don't think it's worth the risk to engage with people. Like I don't want to go through all that heartbreak again but I definetley want a girlfriend. So I dunno. Catch 22.
IAmAnAgnostic
Member
Here is what happened to me when I tried to approach a woman..
Me: "Hi how are you?"
Her: "..." + this face.
(this has happened more than once)
Online dating is not for everyone though. Interactions there are much shallower and superficial than face-to-face, because it is designed in a way that makes looks the only thing that matters (instead of being one between many). I am not "bad" looking face-wise, but I am really not photogenic and also short, so online dating is a big no-no for me.
What? How rude
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