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[MoonsaultSlayer]

I remember when I turned 13, my mom said "turning 13 and never been kissed". First of all, what did she know?! And second, who cares?

But seriously, I never brought home a girlfriend, but I kissed some girls. Take that, MOM!

Spoiler

RIP in peace.

 

[Barack Lesnar]

I've been on dates and have had sex but never a girlfriend. Some of you might remember my 'just had sex' thread from a couple years ago lol...im a late bloomer. The more weight i lose the better my face looks and ive started noticing more and more girls noticing me. Getting in shape seems so important...losing the chubby in my face is m aking a big diff. I always knew i had good features and a good face underneath the fat. (MOM WAS RIGHT!)

 

[Oersted]

*taking notes*

Okay, but what if you carry your pillow waifu around with you because shes scared to be left alone in the house all day?

Strap some VR glasses on your waifu when she sleeps


She will never notice

 

[Ensoul]

Well don't get too discouraged. I didn't have a real girlfriend until I was almost 24.

 

[LyleLanley]

Well don't get too discouraged. I didn't have a real girlfriend until I was almost 24.

I like to imagine you meant that you dated sex dolls up until you were 24.

 

[The Lamp]

I think I was 25/26 before I did; looking back I had many chances but didn't see it; I didn't think people would like me but they did...back then.

First one was the worst experience of my life and stressed me out so much, second was through an online dating site. Both long distance. I found out during those periods I cannot stand being in a close relationship with someone, they just pissed me off no end and I need my own space. Oddly enough even now single I rarely have my own time to myself, just me..



Everyone else who's been there knows exactly what I'm about to say.
Be careful, 6 weeks is nothing.

It's "nothing" (just like when people told me 3 weeks was nothing, 4 weeks was nothing, etc) but it's amazing one step at a time, getting better every day, and we've already worked out a lot of potential major hurdles and we have basically everything in common. So anyway, it's going great!

 

[Big Nikus]

Dude I met my first girlfriend when I was 24. I'm 30 now, we're still together and we're starting to plan our wedding.
Go at your own pace, and don't feel pressured by your family.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

It's "nothing" (just like when people told me 3 weeks was nothing, 4 weeks was nothing, etc) but it's amazing one step at a time, getting better every day, and we've already worked out a lot of potential major hurdles and we have basically everything in common. So anyway, it's going great!

Yeah man, don't sweat the amount of time. Good is good.

And for what it's worth, I knew my wife was going to be "the one" (for lack of a better term) by the time we'd been together only 3 months.

 

[petran79]

Wait until your mother starts having real anxieties when she realizes she really isn't getting any grandsons or granddaughters.

This is where having other siblings is important, especially a sister.
She can carry the grandson burden and you can rest easy

 

[Disxo]

This is where having other siblings is important, especially a sister.
She can carry the grandson burden and you can rest easy

I really dont get why parents feel like that...

 

[Damerman]

I've never had a girlfriend either. But that was by choice... A choice i regret now. I feel like a piece of meat.

 

[Megalosaro]

This is where having other siblings is important, especially a sister.
She can carry the grandson burden and you can rest easy

My parents have a grandson. They spoil him.

His mom sucks though, so he has issues. My parents love him, but acknowledge this. Since they thino if be a better parent, they have been throwing me some mad shade to get laid

 

[clav]

Well look at the situation this way.

No drama.

 

[Kenstar]

Man, reading that last line just killed me.

Didn't want to type all that shit under false pretenses haha

 

[Shredderi]

Don't worry too much about it OP. You might find someone or not, but if you do, when you're a little older, you'll probably start to recognize that dull sadness creeping in again. You'll look around and take an inventory of your life and wonder where it's coming from. You have a secure, rewarding job, a wife that loves you, maybe a kid or two that fills you with joy. But something still hurts. You decide to pick up a new hobby. You're starting to get good at it and devote more time to it. Until it also becomes routine. The exhilaration you felt when you started is long forgotten. It's just part of the process now. And that aching sensation that something is missing is back.

You've wrestled with the question for decades -- what if life has no purpose and all of our hopes and activities are merely overvalued diversions from grappling with our true nature as isolated beings destined to suffer and die alone? You see then, undeniably, that it is true. Your face rests in your palms but no tears come. Tears mean there's something left to hold onto. But you're hollow. And that will never change.

Will you fight or perish like a dog?

 

[Dusk Soldier]

This is where having other siblings is important, especially a sister.
She can carry the grandson burden and you can rest easy

You can have over 20 siblings. If you're the first born and childless, you'll be getting pressured on your death bed.

 

[Chezzymann]

Yeah my brother has flat out said he's never having kids or a girlfriend or anything. He's 24 and seems pretty serious about it.

Now I feel like I have the burden for that, but I'm super awkward and nerdy and have only had like two or three friends my entire life (and only one for the last 8 years). Conversations with people I don't know just don't go well at all and are super clunky. I just completely draw a blank, don't know what to say, and resort to asking questions for the other person to answer until they get tired of answering those questions and find an excuse to leave.

Luckily that one friend is really awesome and I socialize with my family (and on the internet) a lot, if that didn't happen I'd probably go insane.

Although after being in college for 3 years, the loneliness really has started to get to me without them. I really need to fix this before I'm completely on my own but all the normal socializing advice people give either doesn't work or i cant follow through with it.

 

[marrec]

You can have over 20 siblings. If you're the first born and childless, you'll be getting pressured on your death bed.

How are you posting on the internet from 1431?

What's Shakespeare like?

 

[JLynn]

Surprised no one mentioned this.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

FakeGAF gives the best advice about dating and finding a romantic partner.

Lol

 

[NOLA_Gaffer]

I didn't have my first "proper" girlfriend until I was 20, so I'm not far off. Prior to that I had flings, long-distance relationships and a bunch of close calls, but nothing solid.

 

[IAmAnAgnostic]

Here's the thing, it's hard to know specifically about what you're doing or not doing wrong without knowing the exact details. In my experience, i see a lot of guys who are unsuccessful at procuring dates; either are talking to women that would never consider them in the first place, and/or their personalities despite being confident are too goofy, corny, or lame to invoke any sexual tension.

It is hard for me as well to know what I did wrong, if anything. As I said, the only common theme for me that would explain the reactions is my physical appearance.

It's just low sample size...

The thing is, I am very much aware of my physical appearance. I don't need to ask more people out to know I am unattractive, I have known that I am ugly all my life. And it is a fact that women also find being short a huge turnoff, and I am short. And to continue, when I asked women out I was what I consider to be my "prime" so far. No mental issues, no self esteem issues, in good physical shape. And I still failed. Now I have none of those. So before I even try again I need to work on myself.

I know I'm glossing over the feelings of doubt and inadequacy that can come from rejection, but still:
Life in general is a numbers game. Don't let some bad RNG stop you from ever playing it...


26yr NGSB here

Solid advice for some people, but you are 26 years old and NGSB yourself, so you do understand that despite trying many can still end up failing.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

I've been on several dates, but have never had a girlfriend. I'm confident I will eventually, so I'm not too worried about it.

 

[KingV]

I
The thing is, I am very much aware of my physical appearance. I don't need to ask more people out to know I am unattractive, I have known that I am ugly all my life. And it is a fact that women also find being short a huge turnoff, and I am short. And to continue, when I asked women out I was what I consider to be my "prime" so far. No mental issues, no self esteem issues, in good physical shape. And I still failed. Now I have none of those. So before I even try again I need to work on myself.

7 or 8 data points just doesn't really make much of a trend. I'm also short, and yes, it makes it harder, but it's not like it's an absolute "no" (though it's probably worse online).

My wife is like 3" taller than me and still wears heels. It's not the end of the world. Plenty of short dudes have girlfriends and get married.

 

[lightskintwin]

It is hard for me as well to know what I did wrong, if anything. As I said, the only common theme for me that would explain the reactions is my physical appearance.



The thing is, I am very much aware of my physical appearance. I don't need to ask more people out to know I am unattractive, I have known that I am ugly all my life. And it is a fact that women also find being short a huge turnoff, and I am short. And to continue, when I asked women out I was what I consider to be my "prime" so far. No mental issues, no self esteem issues, in good physical shape. And I still failed. Now I have none of those. So before I even try again I need to work on myself.



Solid advice for some people, but you are 26 years old and NGSB yourself, so you do understand that despite trying many can still end up failing.

The thing with physical appearance is that it can be worked on.

Plus there are worse things than being unattractive, like unattractive and boring looking. Unattractive, but very interesting looking can go a long way.

 

[ReAxion]

trollmom ftw

 

[Jokab]

Online dating is not for everyone though. Interactions there are much shallower and superficial than face-to-face, because it is designed in a way that makes looks the only thing that matters (instead of being one between many). I am not "bad" looking face-wise, but I am really not photogenic and also short, so online dating is a big no-no for me.

I'm not photogenic either, nor am I really above average looking. I just had one really good photo (ideally you should have more but eh) that was taken of me at a party with a good camera and good lighting. That one photo sure carried me.

Furthermore, looks is not all that matters with online dating. It is more so on Tinder, but for example on Match and OkCupid you can write very elaborate descriptions that really show who you are beyond pictures.

 

[IAmAnAgnostic]

7 or 8 data points just doesn't really make much of a trend. I'm also short, and yes, it makes it harder, but it's not like it's an absolute "no" (though it's probably worse online).

My wife is like 3" taller than me and still wears heels. It's not the end of the world. Plenty of short dudes have girlfriends and get married.

I'm glad for you for finding a wife that can look past your height. Do you consider yourself unattractive? (I ask, because I am both short and ugly as I said)

The thing with physical appearance is that it can be worked on.

Plus there are worse things than being unattractive, like unattractive and boring looking. Unattractive, but very interesting looking can go a long way.

Can I ask what you mean, exactly? I mean I can't gain height, and I can't change my facial structure. (well, I won't do plastic surgery anyway) I can get back into shape, yes, but as I said I already did that with no luck. I can do my hair well, and I try, but

Spoiler

I am also balding, so there is that.

 

[lightskintwin]

I'm glad for you for finding a wife that can look past your height. Do you consider yourself unattractive? (I ask, because I am both short and ugly as I said)



Can I ask what you mean, exactly? I mean I can't gain height, and I can't change my facial structure. (well, I won't do plastic surgery anyway) I can get back into shape, yes, but as I said I already did that with no luck. I can do my hair well, and I try, but

Spoiler

I am also balding, so there is that.

You can wear boots with thick soles to give you added height. You can groom yourself to be more aesthetically pleasing. You could whiten your teeth. You could wear a cool hat or get a cool haircut. Perhaps consider shaving it all off. You can dress more interestingly. Accessories can help you stand out such as earrings, shades, fashionable watch and jewelry, etc...

 

[IAmAnAgnostic]

You can wear boots with thick soles to give you added height.

I have considered it. But it kind of seems like lying, delaying the inevitable and something that could lead to awkward situations.

You can groom yourself to be more aesthetically pleasing. You could whiten your teeth. You could wear a cool hat or get a cool haircut.

Sure. Tried it before, though.

Perhaps consider shaving it all off.

I was in the army. Everyone told me I look terrible without hair. (Due to my head shape)

You can dress more interestingly. Accessories can help you stand out such as earrings, shades, fashionable watch and jewelry, etc...

I feel like these would really clash with my personality. (It isn't as boring and monotone as my posts may let you believe, but I definitely do not have a "loud" personality)

And as I said, I have other big issues right now that would probably prevent me from dating even if I was a 10/10. If I successfully work on that, I'll try online dating.. for a while. If it doesn't work I think it is best if I stop for good. (believe me, I have gone trough a lot of options in my head, I wouldn't stop trying if I didn't truly believe I have basically no hope of succeeding)

 

[lightskintwin]

I have considered it. But it kind of seems like lying, delaying the inevitable and something that could lead to awkward situations.

Sure. Tried it before, though.


I was in the army. Everyone told me I look terrible without hair. (Due to my head shape)

I feel like these would really clash with my personality. (It isn't as boring and monotone as my posts may let you believe, but I definitely do not have a "loud" personality)

And as I said, I have other big issues right now that would probably prevent me from dating even if I was a 10/10. If I successfully work on that, I'll try online dating.. for a while. If it doesn't work I think it is best if I stop for good. (believe me, I have gone trough a lot of options in my head, I wouldn't stop trying if I didn't truly believe I have basically no hope of succeeding)

Yeah, it's hard to give any real advice unless I saw you in person, hung out with you, and then took you around a group of women and see how you normally act. Only then could I give a more detailed and accurate analysis on what needs to be improved or outright fixed.

 

[IAmAnAgnostic]

Yeah, it's hard to give any real advice unless I saw you in person, hung out with you, and then took you around a group of women and see how you normally act. Only then could I give a more detailed and accurate analysis on what needs to be improved or outright fixed.

I understand. Thanks for trying, though.

 

[JimmyRustler]

I hate how people make having a girlfriend like the ultimate goal in life. What a joke...
I see so many people in unhappy relationships just so they don't appear as loosers in front of others. It's sad and pathetic.

There is this one girl working in my gym who was once giving me shit for being single for so long, clearly wanting me to feel bad. Meanwhile she is in a deadend relationship (I know because she whined about it couple of times in the past months) and I am fully enjoying my single life. I was like...

... and started laughing out loud. She almost started to cry.

And I had this shit so fucking often. Like no matter how much you enjoy being alone, there are so many people trying to make you feel like a looser despite of it - because after all, you don't have a fucking girlfriend.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

 

[Mufausa The 3rd]

I remember when I turned 13, my mom said "turning 13 and never been kissed". First of all, what did she know?! And second, who cares?

But seriously, I never brought home a girlfriend, but I kissed some girls. Take that, MOM!

Spoiler

RIP in peace.

I never told my mom or even thought about bringing one home due to my personal stigma that I have towards my mother.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

I'd be cool with being single, if I could get laid once in a while.

 

[Atolm]

I'm almost 30 and I'm also part of the club. I used to be worried about it back on my early 20's but now I just don't care or pay attention to women. I've been living on my own and almost completely alone for far too long to be able to get rid of my lifestyle. After a certain point, it just settles in. I just can't compromise, in any way or form, or share my space.

Also I've only been in love once, back when I was 15. I was rejected back then. I also had a fairly good chance for sex during college and...I just passed on it.

I don't know if I'm full asexual or what, I have very low sexual drive as well, and as I said I'm at the point that it's a non-issue for me on my daily life or overall happiness.

The hardest part is explaining your family that you're not that much into women, but you also don't like men at all. I believe they think that I'm gay since I've never introduced a girl to them...how can you explain to them that you don't like men but also you don't care enough about women to try dating? They'll never understand so maybe it's better if I just pretend I'm a closeted gay or something.

 

[Killer Queen]

How short do you guys consider "short"?
Also OP I've only had a couple ldr's so dw. I had a couple opportunities in high school but I was never that interested since I never felt "completely myself" around them. Like I was always really nice to them, so they never saw my sarcastic side or the fact that I'm a bit of a dick and tease people (in a friendly way though) and if I couldn't be my entire self around them I didn't see the point in dating them, I also didn't see that I could ever really feel for them so I figured it kinda wouldve been a waste of time. One probably could've got me laid had i made the move but I wasnt and am still not entirely comfortable with myself so I probably wouldn't have done it anyway. But whatever, I'm still young (late teens)and I feel like should I lose weight I have the potential to be really attractive due to the features people already like about me combined with having a nice body in the future.

 

[KingV]

I have considered it. But it kind of seems like lying, delaying the inevitable and something that could lead to awkward situations.

Cowboy boots have high heels, as do something like a Chelsea boot. I'm not a fucking cowboy so I don't wear cowboy boots, but I do have Chelsea boots. The Beatles used to wear them so they're cool, obviously. They add like 1.75" to my height, which feels fucking surreal. No one has ever brought it up. As long as you are not wearing like "tall shoes" that hide the heel, I don't think it's a problem. Nobody has ever outright even noticed much less called me out on it.

I was in the army. Everyone told me I look terrible without hair. (Due to my head shape)

Do you grow a good beard? Beards can make you look way better, especially if you have like a weak/double chin, over/under bite, and/or bad skin. Plus the they're bad ass, and no one will even know what you look like, because they only notice the beard. You ever see those videos of women that go from hideous to hot with makeup? Beards are men's makeup.

And as I said, I have other big issues right now that would probably prevent me from dating even if I was a 10/10. If I successfully work on that, I'll try online dating.. for a while. If it doesn't work I think it is best if I stop for good. (believe me, I have gone trough a lot of options in my head, I wouldn't stop trying if I didn't truly believe I have basically no hope of succeeding)

Definitely get your other shit worked out first. Hard to date when your trying to get over Hep C, or dealing with a public exposure charge, or whatever.

 

[Days like these...]

NGSB seems weird to me. It can be construed as they had a gf at birth but non since then. I think it should be NGE. No girlfriend ever.

 

[inked_illusion]

NGSB seems weird to me. It can be construed as they had a gf at birth but non since then. I think it should be NGE. No girlfriend ever.

Yeah that's more straight forward, though I'm just going by what my mom posted so there's that.

Filipinos like to come up with pretty gimmicky buzzwords and such to be hip and I have been out of the loop so that just caught me by surprise.

 

[LyleLanley]

NGSB seems weird to me. It can be construed as they had a gf at birth but non since then. I think it should be NGE. No girlfriend ever.

But that sounds like the person is planning on keeping it that way.

 

[Basketball]

I hate how people make having a girlfriend like the ultimate goal in life. What a joke...
I see so many people in unhappy relationships just so they don't appear as loosers in front of others. It's sad and pathetic.

There is this one girl working in my gym who was once giving me shit for being single for so long, clearly wanting me to feel bad. Meanwhile she is in a deadend relationship (I know because she whined about it couple of times in the past months) and I am fully enjoying my single life. I was like...

... and started laughing out loud. She almost started to cry.

And I had this shit so fucking often. Like no matter how much you enjoy being alone, there are so many people trying to make you feel like a looser despite of it - because after all, you don't have a fucking girlfriend.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

some people are just mean bro

 

[IAmAnAgnostic]

Do you grow a good beard? Beards can make you look way better, especially if you have like a weak/double chin, over/under bite, and/or bad skin. Plus the they're bad ass, and no one will even know what you look like, because they only notice the beard. You ever see those videos of women that go from hideous to hot with makeup? Beards are men's makeup.

Unfortunately I can not grow a beard. At all. (I can barely get a stubble if I never shave)

Definitely get your other shit worked out first. Hard to date when your trying to get over Hep C, or dealing with a public exposure charge, or whatever.

Mainly mental issues, which have effected my physical health as well. (I'm in relatively bad shape)

 

[KingV]

Unfortunately I can not grow a beard. At all. (I can barely get a stubble if I never shave)



Mainly mental issues, which have effected my physical health as well. (I'm in relatively bad shape)

I suspect when you get the rest of your life sorted, your outlook on this will change too.

Hang in there, man.

 

[Chaos2Frozen]

I much prefer the notion of being the "best version of yourself". This doesn't mean that if you like video games and anime you should stop liking those things. It means you need to better learn how to interact with people socially, don't give yourself excuses for not doing things, and so on.

Hence putting on the best behavior.

And you're also *way* off if you think no one wants to talk anime and video games when first meeting. Lots of people do, mostly other people like you who are into those things. If you're not spending time around those kinds of people, maybe that's where you're making a mistake.

I spoke with those people- we don't like the same things >_>

"Oh you mean like Naruto and Bleach?"
"...Something like that yeah."

"Oh you mean like League or GTA?"
"...Something like that yeah."

If all you can talk about is anime or games, try to put yourself in situations where you know women are into that. Or learn to talk about something else.

Lol it's not all I can talk about. Hence putting on the best behavior.

Show restraint is the better advise.
.

Hence what I said, putting on the best behavior first.

 

[WarRock]

Welcome to the club, OP =P

 

[inked_illusion]

Welcome to the club, OP =P

Thanks fam, just had two drinks with the coworkers and now I'm pretty tipsy (again super lightweight) still have a dinner with high school friends.

 

[PlayALLtheGames]

I hate how people make having a girlfriend like the ultimate goal in life. What a joke...
I see so many people in unhappy relationships just so they don't appear as loosers in front of others. It's sad and pathetic.

There is this one girl working in my gym who was once giving me shit for being single for so long, clearly wanting me to feel bad. Meanwhile she is in a deadend relationship (I know because she whined about it couple of times in the past months) and I am fully enjoying my single life

Maybe not the ultimate goal in life but pretty high up. I mean imagine being around someone who enjoys a lot of the same stuff and helps with you life's downs while making the ups better. And helps you get off.

The reality is that if you're even remotely social, pleasant and willing to take some risks to do things you don't normally do, you'll find someone without making it some absurd ordeal. So, it doesn't need to be a goal that you somehow fuck the rest of your life up to achieve.

Inevitably, you'll deal with some shitty relationships and heart break, but those are important experiences in life, and no amount of deluding yourself that being single is better simply because it's easier and avoids those things will change that.

 

[Lufiaddict]

 

[trixx]

I'm 22 and my mom basically said the same thing.

"When are you going to get a girlfriend and invite her over to the house?"

I've heard my friends parents question their sexuality because they're 20+ and still haven't had a girlfriend.

It's actually pretty normal from what I've seen/heard