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[Cow Mengde]

Here's my question: Why is no one actually discussing the "jerks" part. You see, I've seen it myself with a friend of mine. She's not with someone I'm attracted to either. She is a genuine friend of mine.

Here's the thing, she did date a jerk and told me about it. It blew my mind.

Long story short; she knew this guy for a few years (how I don't know), but he's here illegally. So she treated him well, gave him food, and just generally be nice to the guy. They hang out, and go places to have fun, but she wasn't really attracted to him. After a few years, the guy wanted to get serious with her and date her. Now during that time, she already knew he was a jerk. This is the kind of guy who wouldn't even buy her a simple birthday card during her birthday (or even remember it was her birthday). She also says the guy definitely wants to use her so he could stay here legally. Yet despite knowing all of that, she decided to go out with him. Of course even after they started going out, he was still a jerk and didn't care that much about her. The biggest kicker is that she lost her virginity to this guy. Yet she tells me how she wants to save it for someone she's willing to marry and feels bad about it.

I was just speechless after hearing that. I really wasn't sure what to say to her at that point. I just told her to dump this guy.

So can someone explain this one to me?

 

[Transhuman]

This is the kind of guy who wouldn't even buy her a simple birthday card during her birthday (or even remember it was her birthday).

So if I don't buy someone a birthday card (or remember the date of their birthday, which I have no conscious control over) I'm a "jerk"? Phht.

So can someone explain this one to me?

Girls like bad boys. Hell, even boys like "bad girls".

What is there to explain?

The biggest kicker is that she lost her virginity to this guy. Yet she tells me how she wants to save it for someone she's willing to marry and feels bad about it.

The subtext I'm reading here is "she should have lost her chastity to me".

 

[phillipgessert]

Here's my question: Why is no one actually discussing the "jerks" part. You see, I've seen it myself with a friend of mine. She's not with someone I'm attracted to either. She is a genuine friend of mine.

Here's the thing, she did date a jerk and told me about it. It blew my mind.

Long story short; she knew this guy for a few years (how I don't know), but he's here illegally. So she treated him well, gave him food, and just generally be nice to the guy. They hang out, and go places to have fun, but she wasn't really attracted to him. After a few years, the guy wanted to get serious with her and date her. Now during that time, she already knew he was a jerk. This is the kind of guy who wouldn't even buy her a simple birthday card during her birthday (or even remember it was her birthday). She also says the guy definitely wants to use her so he could stay here legally. Yet despite knowing all of that, she decided to go out with him. Of course even after they started going out, he was still a jerk and didn't care that much about her. The biggest kicker is that she lost her virginity to this guy. Yet she tells me how she wants to save it for someone she's willing to marry and feels bad about it.

I was just speechless after hearing that. I really wasn't sure what to say to her at that point. I just told her to dump this guy.

So can someone explain this one to me?

The only thing to explain is that you don't have and will never have the full picture. You only know what you were told, and you don't even know why it was told to you.

 

[Freedom = $1.05]

Here's my question: Why is no one actually discussing the "jerks" part. You see, I've seen it myself with a friend of mine. She's not with someone I'm attracted to either. She is a genuine friend of mine.

Here's the thing, she did date a jerk and told me about it. It blew my mind.

Long story short; she knew this guy for a few years (how I don't know), but he's here illegally. So she treated him well, gave him food, and just generally be nice to the guy. They hang out, and go places to have fun, but she wasn't really attracted to him. After a few years, the guy wanted to get serious with her and date her. Now during that time, she already knew he was a jerk. This is the kind of guy who wouldn't even buy her a simple birthday card during her birthday (or even remember it was her birthday). She also says the guy definitely wants to use her so he could stay here legally. Yet despite knowing all of that, she decided to go out with him. Of course even after they started going out, he was still a jerk and didn't care that much about her. The biggest kicker is that she lost her virginity to this guy. Yet she tells me how she wants to save it for someone she's willing to marry and feels bad about it.

I was just speechless after hearing that. I really wasn't sure what to say to her at that point. I just told her to dump this guy.

So can someone explain this one to me?

Either she lacks self esteem, he's a great fuck, or both.

The only thing to explain is that you don't have and will never have the full picture. You only know what you were told, and you don't even know why it was told to you.

This, too. She'll always make herself out to be an angel but there are two sides to every tale.

 

[Keru_Shiri]

Here's my question: Why is no one actually discussing the "jerks" part. You see, I've seen it myself with a friend of mine. She's not with someone I'm attracted to either. She is a genuine friend of mine.

Here's the thing, she did date a jerk and told me about it. It blew my mind.

Long story short; she knew this guy for a few years (how I don't know), but he's here illegally. So she treated him well, gave him food, and just generally be nice to the guy. They hang out, and go places to have fun, but she wasn't really attracted to him. After a few years, the guy wanted to get serious with her and date her. Now during that time, she already knew he was a jerk. This is the kind of guy who wouldn't even buy her a simple birthday card during her birthday (or even remember it was her birthday). She also says the guy definitely wants to use her so he could stay here legally. Yet despite knowing all of that, she decided to go out with him. Of course even after they started going out, he was still a jerk and didn't care that much about her. The biggest kicker is that she lost her virginity to this guy. Yet she tells me how she wants to save it for someone she's willing to marry and feels bad about it.

I was just speechless after hearing that. I really wasn't sure what to say to her at that point. I just told her to dump this guy.

So can someone explain this one to me?

Are you certain about this? It sounds like your friend IS attracted to this guy.

 

[CharlieDigital]

women are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Quote of the year?

 

[Cow Mengde]

So if I don't buy someone a birthday card (or remember the date of their birthday, which I have no conscious control over) I'm a "jerk"? Phht.

She's the one complaining about it. Not me.

The subtext I'm reading here is "she should have lost her chastity to me".

No. There is no subtext. She's a smoker, and smoking is one of my biggest turn offs.

Are you certain about this? It sounds like your friend IS attracted to this guy.

Only telling you what she tells me.

 

[phillipgessert]

She's the one complaining about it. Not me.



No. There is no subtext. She's a smoker, and smoking is one of my biggest turn offs.



Only telling you what she tells me.

Instead of worrying about why she's with the guy, you'd probably benefit from taking one step back down the logical ladder and instead ask yourself why she'd vilify her boyfriend to you. I will tell you that you can cherrypick mistakes out of even the most loving relationship and make one party or the other look like an awful jerk.

 

[AlimNassor]

I remember in High School being the nice guy. I dated a cute gamer chick online, but, she dumped me because I was "a nice and sweet guy", but "clingy". I just thought she was being a jerk.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Instead of worrying about why she's with the guy, you'd probably benefit from taking one step back down the logical ladder and instead ask yourself why she'd vilify her boyfriend to you. I will tell you that you can cherrypick mistakes out of even the most loving relationship and make one party or the other look like an awful jerk.

Oh I know. She and her best friend complain to me about each other being bitchy all the time. I just plug up my ears and go lalalalalala. Just that during that little rant, I wasn't sure what to say, but she's old enough and smart enough to know what her own mistakes are.

I remember in High School being the nice guy. I dated a cute gamer chick online, but, she dumped me because I was "a nice and sweet guy", but "clingy". I just thought she was being a jerk.

Same, except reversed. I dumped a girl in HS cause she was too clingy. Even accused me of cheating on her because I didn't want to spend every waking moment with her.

 

[Omikaru]

Holy baloney!

 

[LuffyZoro]

Holy baloney!

WOW

EDIT:

 

[Transhuman]

I don't think being pro-life is inherently sexist. He has antiquated ideological beliefs though, sure.

"Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you?" is such a loaded question. Like, what if you took your date back to your house after an expensive dinner... and then the Ugandan army forced you both in your house and threatened to kill you unless you had sex?

 

[zethren]

Do men really complain about getting "friendzoned"? Really? Newsflash: women don't have to talk or date or fuck you. If they don't want to, that's ok. Just move on and don't complain.

It's an entitlement thing. They're passive aggressive ass holes, it's what they do.

 

[Air]

Anybody who answered 'yes' to the is there an obligation for someone to have sex with you comes off as incredibly sleazy. Superhero guy up there didn't say anything other than being pro-life. Does he look shady? Yeah (maybe its the suit) but I don't think anything he wrote is wrong or near the level of what was posted earlier.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

I bet Buffalo Bill was a Nice Guy™.

Would you hold my hair back while I vomit into the toilet? I'd hold my hair back while I vomit into the toilet.

 

[Omikaru]

"Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you?" is such a loaded question. Like, what if you were took your date back to your house after an expensive dinner... and then the Ugandan army forced you both in your house and threatened to kill you unless you had sex?

 

[zethren]

Would you hold my hair back while I vomit into the toilet? I'd hold my hair back while I vomit into the toilet.

Even if you were bald I would hold your hair back for you.

 

[User 100115]

Pretty much, or women who expect to be treated like princesses.



I absolutely never said anything about that being a reason to have their pictures up on the site. I was responding to the childish notion displayed in here that female body hair is "traumatizing". Had you bothered to read all of my post you would have noticed that I said I was not fond of this kind of shaming.

You are not under anywhere near the societal pressure to shave your face than women are to shave the rest of their bodies. In fact, it is still considered perfectly acceptable for you to not. Not to mention there is a big difference between saying you dislike something, and saying this...



For the record, we don't have the technology to make shaving anything other than hellish for those with extremely sensitive skin.



If both actually agree to it, then nothing. My point was that no one should expect others to adhere to their personal beauty standards. Several posters in here were specifically asking what was wrong with feeling women were obligated to shave their legs.

For the shaving is a nightmare part: I am seriously allergic to metal. Shaving makes my legs break out, sometimes bad enough to leave scars. Depending on the razor I use, it's either a huge reaction or a small one.

So yeah, I'll shave my legs when I am going to be exposing them. Expecting me to shave them everyday on the off chance you might see them? Hell no.

 

[shuri]

I guess the feeling that some of those accounts are fake.

 

[Transhuman]

For the shaving is a nightmare part: I am seriously allergic to metal. Shaving makes my legs break out, sometimes bad enough to leave scars. Depending on the razor I use, it's either a huge reaction or a small one.

So yeah, I'll shave my legs when I am going to be exposing them. Expecting me to shave them everyday on the off chance you might see them? Hell no.

Veronica: I think I read in Teen People that a clean leg shave will make that special boy sit up and take notice.
Mac: I read in FHM that boys like bare breasts
Veronica: Interesting. I did not know that. Bare breasts you say?

 

[zethren]

I think some guys are letting their imaginations run a little wild with the "not shaving legs" thing. It's not like they instantly have dude tier hair all over their legs if they don't shave every day, or even every other day.

 

[Inanna]

Women's legs don't get that hairy, anyway. Armpit hair I can understand because it'd feel itchy as hell, but legs? I dunno, I'm not obligated to do it if I don't want to and if I'm not going to be showing my legs. Especially in the current weather. Thankfully, my guy doesn't give a crap about it!

 

[CHEEZMO™]

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the passive-aggressive texts again!

 

[Featheredkitten]

I think some guys are letting their imaginations run a little wild with the "not shaving legs" thing. It's not like they instantly have dude tier hair all over their legs if they don't shave every day, or even every other day.

Sometimes in the winter i won't shave my legs for weeks, my SO doesn't care. Dude tier hair in the winter is sooooo warm.

 

[CharlieDigital]

Thankfully, my guy doesn't give a crap about it!

You should do a test.

Shave your legs and get frisky and see if he notices.

Bet he does.

 

[phillipgessert]

So these very vitriolic dudes, are they...trying to play hard-to-get on a dating site? That seems counterproductive.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

WOW

EDIT:

Not sure if bitter at life, or secretly in the closet?




I do feel sympathy for these guys. The thing is, for all the judging going on here - None of us know how much bullshit they have had to put up with. There is always a reason why human have extreme behavioral patterns, or why they become broken inside. These guys might likely have been broken, abused or led astray.


When it comes down to it, a lot of young people are selfish (all are, but younings more than others). They don't know the world, they haven't been through most of the tough shit, they still ride on everything being about them. With this comes a lesser understanding of empathy, and when you don't have empathy.

That's when it gets tricky. That's when you can realize shit like; "Well, it's ok that I cheat on my boyfriend, he never talks to me anymore" or "I'll just pretend to be interested in him so he buys me nice things".
It's not stupidity or inherent evil, it's just that the thoughts and consideration of putting yourself in someone elses place is not there.



AND TRUST ME, I've been there. And I've been there hard. I am the first to admit that I still this day am recovering from disappointing experiences about how women I wanted to fuck(and thought it was love!) didn't act how I wanted them to. But any guy has to ask themselves - Would I fuck me, if I was the lady being hit on by myself? And if you tried imagining being a hot girl who gets hit on and gets compliments with shit like "we have so good chemistry" and "i really am a good listener to you" and all that shit 50 fucking times a day, is it really a wonder why it suddenly doesn't mean as much? She is literally being told that by tons of dudes at parties, on the internet.


Self entitlement is so easy because it was the rules of the game. That's what we were all told. Don't be a cunt and people will like you. That's it. So it always confused nice guy when some smug dude with lot of swag could act like a decent asshole towards hot girls, and not only get away with it, but pull thang.


A GAF Mod once said this in bold caps, but it's an old saying; if you open the door for someone else, expecting a thank you, you are opening it for the wrong reasons.




But the problem arises when you got no game. And you go home and jerk off to unbeliveable hot manufacturered women. Despite being a sloppy dude who takes pride in not being shallow by going crazy in the gym or spendings hours in the mirror, you would not settle. That is the thing about procrastinators too. We use the term perfection as a scapegoat for procrastinating. "I wanna do that, but I want it to be perfect so I will just wait a bit...".
These guys have to settle. They need to date within their range.


And they don't consider how ugly or medium attractive women do. Sure she can go out and get fucked by a creepy dude but what women would want that? While they love sex, they to want to be with someone who they want to be with, not out of a need to blow a load like us poor pussy-addicted lost causes.


My advice for these guys start by taking them off the pedestal. It starts with filling up your life with interesting shit and putting yourself out there. Put yourself in a position were you will meet people. Don't get hang ups that everyone in your university or workplace is not on the same frequency as you. Hang out with people who are fun. treasure your fat lady friends who you would never fuck. and notice how you treat them. Notice all the shit you give them, and how honesty you are. Teach yourself how to be that honest with hot girls, and the doors are open.


The doors are open because people can then like you for who you really are. You calling yourself a nice guy is not who you really are. Most of these guys are incapable of being themselves in the face of a hot women. And its impossible for most of us. But we try to remain cool and take the biological urge to completely dominate them like animals. The more carefree you can, the more free you will, and that freedom will allow your true personality to come out. Thats were attraction and chemistry is born. You getting coward-drunk is not the answer. It can help, but not the answer.


It will take a lifetime of working with yourself. fucking fighting every day. And just ask yourself if you were a hot girl, would you be with yourself? (as you).

 

[zethren]

Sometimes in the winter i won't shave my legs for weeks, my SO doesn't care. Dude tier hair in the winter is sooooo warm.

You don't have to tell me, I've never shaved my legs. I have a lifetime supply of dude tier hair on these legs.

 

[Kaldea]

These are amazing. Talk about feeling sorry for yourself.

 

[The Technomancer]

When I think of fedoras, I think of:

Bogart

You know, I swear, part of the problem is that most of the fedoras on the market today just don't look like that. The brim and shape of the...non-brim-part (I don't know anything about hats, sue me) look different.

 

[Featheredkitten]

These are amazing. Talk about feeling sorry for yourself.

Indeed, i looked through the whole tumbler, and it seems a lot of these guys don't understand that being nice is it's own reward. My best friend is a guy, married, with his own children...he's not "friendzoned" he's my friend. This seems to be something these guys don't understand.

 

[Dash27]

Confidence is attractive. The 'nice guy' shtick isnt appealing without confidence and is usually a sign of low self esteem. In the absence of confidence some people settle for bravado or arrogance hence the outlaw biker thing working on some girls.

 

[zethren]

Indeed, i looked through the whole tumbler, and it seems a lot of these guys don't understand that being nice is it's own reward. My best friend is a guy, married, with his own children...he's not "friendzoned" he's my friend. This seems to be something these guys don't understand.

That's because the friendzone is bullshit, made up by these Nice Guys. It's a way of pushing the blame away from themselves, and to continue their shitty line of thought.

 

[Featheredkitten]

That's because the friendzone is bullshit, made up by these Nice Guys. It's a way of pushing the blame away from themselves, and to continue their shitty line of thought.

Totally agree. *brofist* (i can still bro fist if i'm a chick right?)

 

[Transhuman]

AND TRUST ME, I've been there. And I've been there hard. I am the first to admit that I still this day am recovering from disappointing experiences about how women I wanted to fuck(and thought it was love!) didn't act how I wanted them to.

Get this man a tissue.

You know, I swear, part of the problem is that most of the fedoras on the market today just don't look like that. The brim and shape of the...non-brim-part (I don't know anything about hats, sue me) look different.

They look so much better in black and white too.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Totally agree. *brofist* (i can still bro fist if i'm a chick right?)

Yeah.

And I don't understand focusing on the shaving part, that guy was creepy for a lot of reasons. That said, I dislike not shaving relatively often. Feels weird man.

 

[zethren]

Totally agree. *brofist* (i can still bro fist if i'm a chick right?)

Sure, any GAFfer is a bro of mine. *brofist*

 

[Keru_Shiri]

You know, I swear, part of the problem is that most of the fedoras on the market today just don't look like that. The brim and shape of the...non-brim-part (I don't know anything about hats, sue me) look different.

I think this is the case as well. So many of the fedoras I see are skimpy little things with small brims that barely fit on my head. (I'm a baldy who likes hats for warmth, so yeah, I've tried on a few fedoras).

Totally agree. *brofist* (i can still bro fist if i'm a chick right?)

Hey, girls can be some of the best bros out there.

 

[Featheredkitten]

GafBros for life!

 

[daycru]

 

[Snkfanatic]

Indeed, i looked through the whole tumbler, and it seems a lot of these guys don't understand that being nice is it's own reward. My best friend is a guy, married, with his own children...he's not "friendzoned" he's my friend. This seems to be something these guys don't understand.

No kidding...one of my closest friends is a woman I have known since High School (I am now 30). Was never interested in her at all and look at her like a sister, I was dating someone when I met her so those thoughts of getting with her never entered my mind. She is now engaged and I have become good friends with her Fiance too. That all being said I had a friend of mine say I was friend zoned to her and I was pathetic for hanging out with her for so long. I just was baffled that any guy that has a girl as a friend now is automatically thrown into some idiotic label by a lot of people. Ridiculous

By the way I am no longer friends with said person since he liked to say idiotic stuff like this all the time.

 

[Ikael]

The whole "nice guy" thing, it is something that always fascinated me because it plays a lot with different perception between genders. it is really hard to understand for men why being "nice" is a bad thing. The usual mechanism to understand other people is to put yourself on their shoes, but when the nice guys tries to do that, they got nothing. "Let me see, a girl starts to be nice to me only because she wants to date or fuck me... oh, gee, what a dramatic horrible situation. I wish all the problems of my life would be like that one". Young men likes the whole "putting affection coins until relationship falls down" mental scheme not because of malice or even stupidity, but rather because it makes damn sense and it is quite comforting to think that human relationships are logical and predictable and thus, easy to manage. Only problem is: no, they are not.

Nice guys may get far too much flack for what they are (welcome to the Internet, guys), but they need to understand that what they are doing is essentially to fall into an old trap about confusing love with need, and then prolly proceed to convince theirselves that this ain't true and that there is nothing egoistic about it. This is something that I did not understand it fully (only on an abstract level) until I got the roles reversed, and boy, do clingy girls sucks bollocks. As much as "nice guys" I bet. I sure didn't like being used as a mean for "boyfriend therapy".

Thing is, you realize that the other person is not wanting you, but rather a solution to many of her personal problems. She could have fallen in love with you, or with a stove for that matter, as long as it provided her whatever she was looking for (sex, affection, sons, stability, whatever...). It is not a sexist, but rather an utilitarian look onto the other person as a mean to solve a problem of yours (say, as you would look at a plumber) rather than well, a human worth of genuine affection. You might love when a technician repairs your computer, but you don't love said technician, do you? Noone likes to be used, and love, even if it is a relationship were both parts benefit from it, is far from being - just - some kind of contract that assures mutual benefits.

 

[Uncle]

J crew doesn't have $900 black turtlenecks.

What about slightly darker black ones?

 

[VALIS]

You know, I swear, part of the problem is that most of the fedoras on the market today just don't look like that. The brim and shape of the...non-brim-part (I don't know anything about hats, sue me) look different.

I don't know if that's true or not, but the main differentiator in people who look good in a fedora and those who don't is what it's being worn with. It is a formal piece of clothing, mostly to be worn with jackets/suits and dressy coats like pea coats, not with t-shirts or button down shirts from Old Navy or whatever.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

Indeed, i looked through the whole tumbler, and it seems a lot of these guys don't understand that being nice is it's own reward. My best friend is a guy, married, with his own children...he's not "friendzoned" he's my friend. This seems to be something these guys don't understand.

You know what's up.
Kindness is a virtue and goal in itself if you wish, and to use it as a tool for procuring another goal is just sad.

If you think you're a nice guy, then ask yourself what Jesus or Buddha would be happy with happening next - because they were nice guys, and they didn't whine when their friends didn't sleep with them.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

This thread is making me feel some kind of way. Some of these images are terrible.

P.s. there's nothing wrong with fedoras.

There's nothing wrong with Fedoras, there is something wrong with most people who wear them. You have to be dressed a certain way for it to look good. It's the same with suit jackets, they look really good but not when you wear it over your mighty morphin' power rangers t-shirt that some people do. That looks fucking awful.

 

[Toppot]

The term 'friendzone' always erks me. Its like they are insisting they had a chance at one point but that the girl decided to put them in a friend group for no reason. Where as it is entirely within the head of the person saying they have been friendzoned because they like the girl and thought they had a chance.

Oh, right. Now I remember what this was reminding me of:

This is just fantastic.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I think the funniest ones are the ones who think there are certain times they're obligated to have sex with you. It's like so absurd it's funny. I'm not sure why you would want to anyhow. If they're that uninterested in having sex with you then that has to be some of the worst sex you can have. I would think it would be pretty much impossible to enjoy at that point.

 

[Eidan]

This is one of the funniest, but at the same time horrifying, sites I've ever seen. Bravo. A real treat. "Fun for the entire family," says Gene Shalit.