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[jambo]

I'm from the UK, but have lived in Melbourne for the last 8 years. Over this time frame, things that initially seems mental gradually become normal.

However, there are still a bunch of Australianisms that make my piss boil. A lot to do with the road system, but not all.

1. They pronounce the colour maroon as mar-own. I feel light headed with anger whenever I heard some dickhead say it.
2. The quality of the TV. For fucks sake, it's abominable.
2. Being a pedestrian. Cars can turn left when its green for pedestrians and I've been in far too many near misses with arsehole drivers.
3. No amber on traffic lights between red and green. It speeds up the traffic flow, as the first car at the lights can pull away the moment the light turns green, not a second or two later.
4. The inside (slow) lane is the one that disappears when the road narrows and loses a lane. Often with no prior warning.
5. Lack of signage on roads (main roads missing road names at intersections, no signs showing which lanes merge on slip roads etc).
3. Men wearing flip-flops / thongs.
4. Political reporting in the media. Holy fuck it's limited and universally terrible.

At least we can count.

 

[Fredescu]

Kangaroo steaks, I think.

Not just steaks! http://www.macromeats-gourmetgame.com.au/Products.aspx

 

[lunarworks]

Ya, the only real thing I find odd about Australia is that all the wild creatures there want to kill you. That, and the Vegemite.

I listen to Triple J, so you think I'd find more odd about the place.

 

[Rimfya]

I live in a town of around 90k people. Not big, not small. But I've always held the line that 'it's not like there's kangaroos bouncing down the street or anything'.

Until I was riding to work the other day and...

 

[Choabac]

The first time you hear an Australian woman whisper in your ear that she is "toey as a roman sandal" you absolutely fall in love with the country.

I've never heard of that expression, or toey uses as a euphemism for horny.

Also I've never heard of an American referred to as seppo. This may be more a regional thing.

 

[Axiom]

My accent isn't strong enough apparently, when I was in the States people were convinced I was British.

I can honestly say while I've seen Fosters in bars I can't recall anyone actually ordering it or seeing anyone drink it outside of a commercial.

People down here were rather pissed off about the Bart Vs. Australia episode initially. It was promoted very differently than how it would turn out, and as far as we knew New Orleans WAS home of pirates, drunks and whores so we didn't know what to expect.

Due to my pale skin, love of tea, rain and lousiness at sport I think I was really meant to be born British.

That episode of JAG where they went to Australia with the actor who killed himself because he lied about being an Aussie his entire acting career (and also featured Catherine Bell on a nude beach) was the first time I'd ever heard the term 'seppo'

 

[onken]

I had some Vegemite recently. It was like Diet Marmite.

(that's bad)

 

[Jintor]

Another weird thing about Australia: TIEM TO BREAK STREET DAETS

 

[jambo]

Another weird thing about Australia: TIEM TO BREAK STREET DAETS

We fuckin' love breaking street release dates.

I remember back in 2008 I got Crysis two weeks before my mates in Europe because EB just started selling as soon as they took delivery of the stock :lol

 

[remz]

Or a wog.

Hey, screw you, I have a falcon

 

[BlueWord]

I'm sorry, but Vegemite tastes like a yeast infection. Ugh.

 

[catchabad0ne]

I've never heard of that expression, or toey uses as a euphemism for horny.

Also I've never heard of an American referred to as seppo. This may be more a regional thing.

I heard girls use "toey" in NSW and QLD...maybe you just don't make girls horny? Haha, and I'm surprised you never have heard seppo. Most of the time Aussies tried to give me shit for being American they would pull that out. Seemed pretty common to me. Where are you at in Australia?

 

[seanoff]

Hey, screw you, I have a falcon

You have a proper ute then!!!!

Ford invented the damn things

 

[Dead Man]

My accent isn't strong enough apparently, when I was in the States people were convinced I was British.

I can honestly say while I've seen Fosters in bars I can't recall anyone actually ordering it or seeing anyone drink it outside of a commercial.

People down here were rather pissed off about the Bart Vs. Australia episode initially. It was promoted very differently than how it would turn out, and as far as we knew New Orleans WAS home of pirates, drunks and whores so we didn't know what to expect.

Due to my pale skin, love of tea, rain and lousiness at sport I think I was really meant to be born British.

That episode of JAG where they went to Australia with the actor who killed himself because he lied about being an Aussie his entire acting career (and also featured Catherine Bell on a nude beach) was the first time I'd ever heard the term 'seppo'

What?! Details!

I've never heard of that expression, or toey uses as a euphemism for horny.

Also I've never heard of an American referred to as seppo. This may be more a regional thing.

Seppo is more an old fashioned thing. It comes from rhyming slang. Americans = Yanks = Sceptic Tanks = Seppos.

 

[Salazar]

right there with you... australians have no imagination whatsoever... im glad i have an asian background and can watch any asian show or BBC or something from the US.

This is rather obtuse.

 

[Tommie Hu$tle]

Outside of kiwis how many non-Australians could really relate to this?

Me, my wife is Australian and I deal with these Australianisms everyday.

 

[Dead Man]

This is rather obtuse.

I thought we were ignoring that post.

 

[a posh hammer]

Hey, screw you, I have a falcon

gotta have a vl turbo to be a wog

 

[Salazar]

This thread has taught me much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whh8r383-ew

 

[HolyCheck]

I live in a town of around 90k people. Not big, not small. But I've always held the line that 'it's not like there's kangaroos bouncing down the street or anything'.

Until I was riding to work the other day and...

To be fair, I lived JUST out of Adelaide in the hills (about a 30 minute drive from the city centre)

and I often had koalas in my backyard, and kangaroos bouncing down my street and into my front yard.

Could hear them most nights too.

 

[Choabac]

I heard girls use "toey" in NSW and QLD...maybe you just don't make girls horny? Haha, and I'm surprised you never have heard seppo. Most of the time Aussies tried to give me shit for being American they would pull that out. Seemed pretty common to me. Where are you at in Australia?

Haha, maybe I need to work on my game.

I'm in Brisbane.

 

[theb0xmIke]

When I was there a few years back everyone seemed to drive one of these, or a variant of it

PFFT FPVs eat HSVs for breakfast. (although i think HSVs look better).

 

[Death Dealer]

Its good in moderation. Definitely an acquired taste, but its pretty damn good. lil mite, lil butter...profit.

Closest thing, would be one of those beef concentrated flavor cubes? not as salty, but damn close.

Yeah I tried it and didn't care for it much. But I think it would be good used as an ingredient like bullion cubes. By itself, I think it's too salty and overpowering as a condiment.

I've been to Sydney and Brisbane. One thing I noticed is people seem to drink more down under. I'm not a teetotaler, but don't party much anymore, but it seems like every neighborhood pub was busy. And it was different to see HS aged kids sitting in bars playing cards with alcoholic beverages.

Also it seemed like many places automatically put a fried egg on a hamburger.

 

[jambo]

PFFT FPVs eat HSVs for breakfast. (although i think HSVs look better).

Haha Ford. Cute.

 

[Amagon]

At least we can count.

lol

 

[Salazar]

I've been to Sydney and Brisbane. One thing I noticed is people seem to drink more down under.

In our defence, it is farkin hot.

 

[roosters93]

Never heard the expression toey and I know the word seppo but never heard anyone say it.
Vegemite is great and I like to eat it without butter but most people don't.

I don't know about the rest of Australia, but when my sister reaches for something in the back seat of the car I have to lean 45 degrees to the side to avoid awkward contact.

Haha wow this post is awesome. You are a humorously honest person.

#1 Tip for Australia: Holden Commodores and HSV's are the choice car of bogans, if you see one you can assume this person is a bogan.

Fuck you! Do Statesmans count? Although mine is a '95 which is a pretty popular choice with the bogans. Mine is a hand-me-down ok!

3. Men wearing flip-flops / thongs.

lol

what kind of local foodage do australians feast upon? ive been curious about this for a while.

We combine everyone else's cuisine in our own little way.

I listen to a podcast hosted by a pair of Aussies.

Name/link?

 

[VALIS]

A country full of drunks and thugs descended from deported English criminals, is what popular legend has taught me.

I like it, think I'll stick with it for the time being.

 

[Verano]

If I do go to Australia, Im gonna sit in the backseat for the fuck of it...mates.

 

[strata8]

You know what's rad? You want all the fun of Australia without snakes, poisonous spiders, deserts or crocs?

New Zealand!

 

[theb0xmIke]

Haha Ford. Cute.

Mate the F6 is the fastest Aussie Sedan and truly is the most Aussie.

Holden have better V8s but the Turbo 6s still smash the Holden boys


Anyways heres some Australian Food Products

Tiny Teddies!! Who used to have em for School?

 

[Jintor]

Does it now?

This thread has taught me much.

A delicious yeast infection

(disclaimer: i haven't eaten vegemite in years. nothing against it. I just started eating wheat-bix and honey in the morning instead.)

/edit give me all that arnotts stuff. ALL OF IT.

 

[Slayven]

I heard a guy once describe the Australian meaning for the word "Bong", kind of creeped me out.

 

[Salazar]

/edit give me all that arnotts stuff. ALL OF IT.

Lemon Crisps are for pensioners, yo.

 

[ch0mp]

I heard a guy once describe the Australian meaning for the word "Bong", kind of creeped me out.

Pretty sure it has the same meaning everywhere.

 

[jambo]

Mate the F6 is the fastest Aussie Sedan and truly is the most Aussie.

Holden have better V8s but the Turbo 6s still smash the Holden boys

I just can't take Ford seriously after they released the AU.

 

[Jintor]

There's no damn scotch fingers in that picture

 

[goomba]

Only been to the south of the south island?. Hint it gets warmer the further north you go , just never as horribly hot and humid as much as Australia gets.

 

[Slayven]

Pretty sure it has the same meaning everywhere.

He said they call Aboriginals Bongs because that the sound that is heard when their head hits the bumper of a jeep.

 

[theb0xmIke]

I just can't take Ford seriously after they released the AU.

Derp

haha i can somewhat agree with you there.

Edit: it's just such a failure...

 

[ch0mp]

He said they call Aboriginals Bongs because that the sound that is heard when their head hits the bumper of a jeep.

That would be "boong". Not really a nice word.

 

[Jintor]

Oh.

I always thought the racist term for Aboriginies was Abos (or possibly Aboriginies being a semi-racist term in itself, the legal wording either being the Aboriginal Peoples or Indigenous peoples).

I've never heard Bong in that context before.

 

[jambo]

Never heard bong, but definitely heard boong. Abo as well.

Derp

haha i can somewhat agree with you there.

Edit: it's just such a failure...

I honestly have no idea how they looked at the concept and decided to OK it.

It's almost as bad as the Chrysler PT Cruiser.

Almost.

 

[Parallax]

Derp

haha i can somewhat agree with you there.

Edit: it's just such a failure...

is that a car from the early 90s? i dont see the problem

 

[bengraven]

Only been to the south of the south island?. Hint it gets warmer the further north you go , just never as horribly hot and humid as much as Australia gets.

Yep. It's basically my perfect little place to die in. Too bad my wife is firmly against us moving there because she doesn't want to live in the armpit of the world.

 

[Slayven]

Never heard bong, but definitely heard boong. Abo as well.



I honestly have no idea how they looked at the concept and decided to OK it.

It's almost as bad as the Chrysler PT Cruiser.

Almost.

LOL, no nothing beats a PT cruiser.

 

[theb0xmIke]

is that a car from the early 90s? i dont see the problem

Late 90s Sadly

Just trust me when i say....it gets much worse in real life.

 

[Poimandres]

There are a lot of dickhead racists in Australia. Southern cross tatoos, "go back to your country" bumper stickers, and forced cringe worthy national pride.

Also a lot of chilled out humorous people here to balance it out.

 

[Parallax]

Late 90s Sadly

Just trust me when i say....it gets much worse in real life.

ugh, really? so they stole discarded chrysler car models and sent them to ausland?

 

[VOOK]

Fuck you! Do Statesmans count? Although mine is a '95 which is a pretty popular choice with the bogans. Mine is a hand-me-down ok!

I ain't personally going to bag someone for owning a certain car, it's your car you can drive what you like. 99.9% of the time, Holdens = Bogans.

Hey, screw you, I have a falcon

*brofist*

The AU Falcon was a piece of shit, no one in their right mind bought one of those. I'd rather an EL over that.