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November? More like Confessember! Anonymous Confessions/Advice Thread 2013

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Featheredkitten said:
Odysseus? From Ithaca?
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I always use to translate it as "I am Norman"; it was the only way of getting at least a degree of the Greek pun into English. Also because there aren't enough manly sword-wielders named Norman.

EDIT: More precisely, "Cyclops, you ask me of my glorious name, and I will tell you; and you shall give me a stranger's gift, as you did promise. Norman is my name, Norman do they call me — my mother and my father, and all my comrades as well." from "Κύκλωψ, εἰρωτᾷς μ᾽ ὄνομα κλυτόν, αὐτὰρ ἐγώ τοι ἐξερέω: σὺ δέ μοι δὸς ξείνιον, ς περ ὑπέστης. Οὖτις ἐμοί γ᾽ ὄνομα: Οὖτιν δέ με κικλήσκουσι μήτηρ ἠδὲ πατὴρ ἠδ᾽ ἄλλοι πάντες ἑταῖροι."
 
ronito said:
Proactive TL;DR: Dude's sister is a drug addict. Lots of really depressing stuff happens.
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My god, hang in there anon. I think you and your family keep your distance is the right move. Hang in there pal. =(

Also as for Fiction, I mostly recognize you from a lot of the more interesting threads here in OT. I typically find myself nodding my head in agreement after reading your posts, so yeah, major props. *internet fist bump*

I do way more lurking in OT than posting, sadly. Hahaha.
 
My "confession" is that I'm paranoid I can't confess anything big on the off chance that somebody else who was apart of the situation reads this and knows it's me. I haven't done anything majorly wrong, I'm happy with who I am and I stick to my morals as much as possible. I also know that other people involved won't read Gaf, but I just couldn't take that chance.
 
Crab said:
I always use to translate it as "I am Norman"; it was the only way of getting at least a degree of the Greek pun into English. Also because there aren't enough manly sword-wielders named Norman.

EDIT: More precisely, "Cyclops, you ask me of my glorious name, and I will tell you; and you shall give me a stranger's gift, as you did promise. Norman is my name, Norman do they call me — my mother and my father, and all my comrades as well." from "Κύκλωψ, εἰρωτᾷς μ᾽ ὄνομα κλυτόν, αὐτὰρ ἐγώ τοι ἐξερέω: σὺ δέ μοι δὸς ξείνιον, ς περ ὑπέστης. Οὖτις ἐμοί γ᾽ ὄνομα: Οὖτιν δέ με κικλήσκουσι μήτηρ ἠδὲ πατὴρ ἠδ᾽ ἄλλοι πάντες ἑταῖροι."
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Kinda messes with the whole joke later about nobody poking out his eye "Oh, nobody did it? Jesus... cyclops bro, go back to bed and stop messing about." I do like norman though, that's pretty good.
 
OozingZen said:
Subscribed. Hopefully it's as almost interesting as the last one.

Also this is my first post ever (hi GAF)
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NJmKTCh.gif
 
Featheredkitten said:
Kinda messes with the whole joke later about nobody poking out his eye "Oh, nobody did it? Jesus... cyclops bro, go back to bed and stop messing about." I do like norman though, that's pretty good.
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No, the whole point is it maintains the joke: Norman / No-man. The later translation becomes "'What so sore distress is yours, Polyphemus, that you cry out thus through the eternal night, and make us sleepless? Can it be that some mortal man is stealing your flocks against your will, or slaying you yourself by deceit or by might?' Then from out the cave the mighty Polyphemus answered them: 'My friends, it is Norman that is slaying me by guile and not by force.' And they made answer and addressed him with winged words: ‘If, then, No Man does violence to you in your loneliness, the mad sickness which comes from great Zeus you may in no wise escape. Nay, do you pray to our father, the lord Poseidon.' So they spoke and went their way." You can't really mimic the οὖτιν / μήτίν pun from the original if you use Nobody.
 
Crab said:
No, the whole point is it maintains the joke: Norman / No-man. The later translation becomes "'What so sore distress is yours, Polyphemus, that you cry out thus through the eternal night, and make us sleepless? Can it be that some mortal man is stealing your flocks against your will, or slaying you yourself by deceit or by might?' Then from out the cave the mighty Polyphemus answered them: 'My friends, it is Norman that is slaying me by guile and not by force.' And they made answer and addressed him with winged words: ‘If, then, No Man does violence to you in your loneliness, the mad sickness which comes from great Zeus you may in no wise escape. Nay, do you pray to our father, the lord Poseidon.' So they spoke and went their way."
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Hmm I suppose, it's just hard to get No man from Norman.


....omg thread derail! sorry :/
 
ronito said:
Proactive TL;DR: Dude's sister is a drug addict. Lots of really depressing stuff happens.



Dude, I know how you feel. It's hard to see someone you love, or used to love, just self destruct. I do think your family is doing the best thing though in keeping distance. If she gets serious about helping herself then help her but she's beyond the point where you can help her without her instigating it first. Hang in there.
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Wow, I think anon's sister was fucked from birth. No way someone can pick up such bad qualities and not change after so many fuck ups. Props to her boyfriend for doing all that.
 
I haven't gotten many creepy PMs, but I have gotten ones about my art which I'm always quite grateful for!
 
Pizarro said:
Wow, I think anon's sister was fucked from birth. No way someone can pick up such bad qualities and not change after so many fuck ups. Props to her boyfriend for doing all that.
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It's just magical that any man can do his best for her, after seeing how horrible she is. I couldn't do it.
 
I lied to my parents about my college education.

I had to change majors because I some key courses one semester. It was a particularly bad semester because I had to take the bus to both school and work and my commute daily was 3+ hours. By time I'd get home, I was so exhausted I just wanted to relax and not study. That came back to bite me in the ass.

So I changed majors to something that was related but slightly easier so I'd still graduate on time.
 
GAF, one of these days, she's going to kill someone. If we're lucky, she'll be the first one. I feel kind of bad about it, but I wish that she'd just get it overwith and spare the rest of us the anguish of her future incidents. Is this wrong?
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It sounds like you have legitimate cause to fear for the wellbeing of everyone around her. So no I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that she ends up killing herself before someone innocent dies or is seriously hurt.
 
Hmm... Last time I sent in a confession that got quoted to death for pages; not sure if I want that kind of attention again and probably don't have anything sincere to top it haha.

For the record, I'm not Doozy or AIDS Man (or were those the same guy? Don't remember tbh)
 
Here goes:

My self esteem is so low that it has driven me to do and think things that I just want to stop, but it's at a point where it can't. I've had an affair, even though I love my wife. I regret my affair more than I could ever say, yet I remember times with the other woman fondly. I've created plans to kill myself more times than I can count, and the only thing that has stopped me is the fact that I can't do that to my kids. I hate the way that I look, but I look good (not overweight, physical performance is pretty damn good). I hate myself for not being successful, even though I've moved away and built a life with a great job that pays well.

I don't hear voices, but I have really bad thoughts, like...

- Wife going to be late getting home from work? Well, she is wearing a nice dress, so she must be sucking her boss's cock, loser.
- Department expanding at work? They're going to fire you even though your work is the reason that they're expanding, because you're a bitch that's good at getting steamrolled.
- Having a great marriage? She's going to get tired of you and ditch your sorry ass for an upgrade in about 18 years, because you don't have a giant cock or make the kind of money her daddy makes.

I project an image of health and happiness, but on the inside I'm a ball of fucked up insecurity, self doubt and paranoia. And evidence against all of my insecurities are all around me...I have a fantastic, hot sex life, a knockout of a wife, two kids that are insanely well behaved, smart and will grow up to be WAY cooler than I am, a family that loves me and jumps for joy when I get home from work every day, a small, but extremely quality circle of friends, and pretty good financial security. Not rich, not wealthy, but if something bad happened we could get by.

No one, not a soul, knows this about me except for my wife and dogs I've had over the years, because they've seen me stay up late and cry. The dogs, not my wife. I'm sure that I'll be able to make it through life and not kill myself, because I've got so much responsibility and I can't do that to my wife and kids, but I'm really tired of those thoughts. I'm not afraid, I have coping skills, but I am tired of them. And I feel like such a liar for looking and acting healthy and even giving help to people that confide similar things to me, when the whole time I'm listening to them and helping them all I can think is "are you serious? This is nothing like what I thought this morning while I was drinking my coffee."

It's never going to stop, it's never going to go away. It's who I am, and I hate it.
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Dude I was there with you but way earlier in life. I always wanted to make things worse for myself and thought I was scum of the scum. A few things. First off professional help is important. I know there's this stigma about getting help with mental health. But honestly no one makes a big deal if you get the yearly flu and have to go to the doctor. Same thing with depression.

Second, take up a hobby that you want to do. For me it was guitar. And as many know it became my life and I wouldn't have survived without it.Having something that I was able to be good at and get better at was life changing for me. Keep in mind that it's not about being better than someone else, it's about being better than you were. If you look you will always find someone better. Talk to your spouse, get help.

Here's a link to suicide help lines:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

They can help you take the first step to getting better if you're in crisis.
 
I've got a friend who I've bent over backwards for, for years. Any time there's a fight, I'll surrender just for the sake of keeping the peace. People have told me that it's foolish, that I'm wasting my time, I could find a better class of friend, etc. I don't just take that kind of advice because unless someone is there, they don't know all the particulars.

After the last big argument, which caught me by surprise and came out of nowhere, we agreed that we shouldn't see each other for a bit, and that I'd get back in touch when I was contacted. A couple of months went by and I hadn't heard anything. A function was happening that we should've gone to together, but I went alone. Now I've been unfollowed everywhere by this person and sent long texts about how wrong it was that I went, and how could I pull such a stunt, etc.

So I just replied and said there was no way for me to break the ice without either one of us, or both, looking like a totally manipulative asshole, and that it wasn't meant to be a stunt. I wanted to go, so I did. I left off saying that if the time ever feels right to mend fences, to let me know. I doubt that will happen.

But honestly, I think I'm beyond caring. Despite investing tons of time and energy into this friendship, it doesn't feel like it matters as much on the other end as it did on mine. It feels weird to not feel sad about it, and almost wrong, but I think my soul is tired of it. Previous arguments would make me all twitchy and nervous, but this time might just be the last time.

Sorry if this is more of a grouphug kind of confession instead of a "so this one time I fucked a tree branch" confession, but there it is.
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I have someone at work that's sorta similar. I once made a rule "Never have a friend that you don't admire in some way." It's made all the difference. However, you don't get to choose your coworkers. Only a few more days and I'll be rid of this pain. But seriously, don't have friends you can't look up to or admire. You should always be able to answer "Why are you friends with x person?" easily and quickly. If your excuse is lame, toss 'em. You only have so much time/energy. Spend it wisely.
 
Repeat content? Are you running out of material already??

Here goes:

My self esteem is so low that it has driven me to do and think things that I just want to stop, but it's at a point where it can't. I've had an affair, even though I love my wife. I regret my affair more than I could ever say, yet I remember times with the other woman fondly. I've created plans to kill myself more times than I can count, and the only thing that has stopped me is the fact that I can't do that to my kids. I hate the way that I look, but I look good (not overweight, physical performance is pretty damn good). I hate myself for not being successful, even though I've moved away and built a life with a great job that pays well.

I don't hear voices, but I have really bad thoughts, like...

- Wife going to be late getting home from work? Well, she is wearing a nice dress, so she must be sucking her boss's cock, loser.
- Department expanding at work? They're going to fire you even though your work is the reason that they're expanding, because you're a bitch that's good at getting steamrolled.
- Having a great marriage? She's going to get tired of you and ditch your sorry ass for an upgrade in about 18 years, because you don't have a giant cock or make the kind of money her daddy makes.

I project an image of health and happiness, but on the inside I'm a ball of fucked up insecurity, self doubt and paranoia. And evidence against all of my insecurities are all around me...I have a fantastic, hot sex life, a knockout of a wife, two kids that are insanely well behaved, smart and will grow up to be WAY cooler than I am, a family that loves me and jumps for joy when I get home from work every day, a small, but extremely quality circle of friends, and pretty good financial security. Not rich, not wealthy, but if something bad happened we could get by.

No one, not a soul, knows this about me except for my wife and dogs I've had over the years, because they've seen me stay up late and cry. The dogs, not my wife. I'm sure that I'll be able to make it through life and not kill myself, because I've got so much responsibility and I can't do that to my wife and kids, but I'm really tired of those thoughts. I'm not afraid, I have coping skills, but I am tired of them. And I feel like such a liar for looking and acting healthy and even giving help to people that confide similar things to me, when the whole time I'm listening to them and helping them all I can think is "are you serious? This is nothing like what I thought this morning while I was drinking my coffee."

It's never going to stop, it's never going to go away. It's who I am, and I hate it.
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That last sentence is not true. Seriously, seek help. See a therapist, see a doc.
 
ronito said:
I have someone at work that's sorta similar. I once made a rule "Never have a friend that you don't admire in some way." It's made all the difference. However, you don't get to choose your coworkers. Only a few more days and I'll be rid of this pain. But seriously, don't have friends you can't look up to or admire. You should always be able to answer "Why are you friends with x person?" easily and quickly. If your excuse is lame, toss 'em. You only have so much time/energy. Spend it wisely.
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Is there a glitch in the matrix or is this a double post....I swear I read this exact post word for word earlier.
 
This is something that perhaps is mundane to most everyone else. I'm generally fairly happy with my living situation, which is married and comfortable (financially). However, because I stay up late at night, I become extremely lonely. I've tried to alter my sleep schedule, but it never ends up working since I return to the night. Anyway, I've begun to latch onto another for support and friendship. Deep down I think I love them, but I'm not sure if it's love in the sense of wanting something else, or just truly appreciating the time I've been having with them.

It gets so bad when they're not around that I become majorly depressed. I've not told my significant other this because I'm still trying to assess my true feelings on the matter. Recently however, the friend in question picked up a significant other. They seem quite happy, but I couldn't help at first feel extremely jealous and hurt. Now I'm quite content because they seem like good people and I'm not losing my friend as I feared at first. Still, I wonder if any of this points to something more I'm feeling or if my constant nightly loneliness is toying with my emotions.

I don't care to feel more emotionally attached to this individual aside from friendship, but perhaps others can tell me if what I'm displaying more than simple pining for a friend.
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You got sundowners or an early form of it.
A few things.

Have you tried "sleep hygene"? Honestly I used to be the same but following basic rules really helps.

Back to the thing. The grass is always greener and if you're thinking your lonliness is messing with you, then there's a good chance it is.

COMMUNICATE with your wife. I know I sometimes get lonely and when I discussed with the wife saying "You know I feel lonely when..." we worked it out relatively easily.
 
I was an exhibitionist.

I was 14 at the time. I would go out after diner, telling my parents I was just "walking for a bit". I was not. I was actually waiting for cars to drive by, whipping it out and masturbating frantically until they were gone. I lived in a rather small town so traffic was slow enough for me not to risk major inflammation, but still. I got a few looks. I even got one guy, 35-45ish, stopping and asking me "where do you want to go?". I said I wasn't hitchhiking. He replied he thought he had seen me make a sign. I think we all know what he saw and what he thought.

And then one late summer evening, when the lights were still out, I performed my last public wanking show. I was gone one step further, walking around in my sweat-pants (I was young, it was summer, leave me alone) an not much else as far as underwear are concerned. My boxers were in my pocket, don't ask me why. So I'm at the city's main roundabout, here comes a car, a woman drives it...jackpot. My left hand tugs the sweat-pants' elastic belt, the right one flashes in and daylight shines upon the 14yo penis, which is still wondering what's happening there I'm sure.

She sees me. She hits the brakes with all she's got and start honking and yelling at me. I walk away. 10 minutes later, I'm back at the exact same spot for the same thrill. A truck full of cops arrives and I pretend I was just passing by. They are not fooled. "What's in your pocket?" "A handkerchief." That one when through. "You'll come back with us at the precinct." The throat dries out. "Stay flaccid" I tell myself, very aware that a bulge would be very apparent under the sweat-pants. They tell me a woman has called, saying a guy fitting my description had been flashing at that roundabout. Oh boy...

...and nothing happened. I said I remembered a car passing by when I was peeing in a bush, the woman that had called them on me had not given them her number so she couldn't confirm or object to my story. To this day, I still sometimes pass by that spot and mentally slap the 14yo me.
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I don't get the whole "it was a small town so no risk of inflammation" What?
 
I love you ronito

this is not anonymous

I don't care if I'm breaking your rules

xoxo
jasonng

PS confessember is a dumbasss name.
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I love you too heartattackboy.

As to it being a dumbass name, yeah it is. But after all the emails and comments and all that crap asking me about when I was going to start another confessional and seeing what happened when someone else tried I decided that perhaps it'd be good to make it an annual event. It runs for a month and then shuts down. The next year we do it again. We'll see, that's the plan for now.
 
ronito said:
I don't get the whole "it was a small town so no risk of inflammation" What?
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If it was a small town, I would guess not that many people would be driving by, which would lead to him having time to rest his pecker. If there was heavy traffic, his dick would be raw at the end of the day.
 
Yay, confession thread time!

Unfortunately my life is too boring to post a confession, but I shall live vicarously through all the ronitoations therein.
 
I was hoping the last passing car would be his parents' or something
Teptom said:
If it was a small town, I would guess not that many people would be driving by, which would lead to him having time to rest his pecker. If there was heavy traffic, his dick would be raw at the end of the day.
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That's a bit too specific... as though you could read the confessor's mind....?
 
I've been dating a girl for 3 years and recently found out she is 10 years older than she said she was when we met. She doesn't look that old but I have found undeniable proof that she is and I want to break up with her because of it

*Note: there is a 17 year gap between us, before I thought it was only 7, which already kind of weirded me out in a way
 
ronito said:
I love you too heartattackboy.

As to it being a dumbass name, yeah it is. But after all the emails and comments and all that crap asking me about when I was going to start another confessional and seeing what happened when someone else tried I decided that perhaps it'd be good to make it an annual event. It runs for a month and then shuts down. The next year we do it again. We'll see, that's the plan for now.
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I remember the other guy's thread. What happened?
 
BPoole said:
I've been dating a girl for 3 years and recently found out she is 10 years older than she said she was when we met. She doesn't look that old but I have found undeniable proof that she is and I want to break up with her because of it

*Note: there is a 17 year gap between us, before I thought it was only 7, which already kind of weirded me out in a way
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Yikes. That's pretty bad.

Did you really like her? How old are you both? If you're not that into her then definitely break up.
 
BPoole said:
I've been dating a girl for 3 years and recently found out she is 10 years older than she said she was when we met. She doesn't look that old but I have found undeniable proof that she is and I want to break up with her because of it

*Note: there is a 17 year gap between us, before I thought it was only 7, which already kind of weirded me out in a way
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How hot is she
 
I mostly visit JP related GAF threads, so I don't know the famous gaffers (Besides Ryouga, but he's not a penis wagon Mara anymore :/ ). This is really fun, though.

Subscribed.

I kinda want to send a story in, but I really don't need to be anon. I tell this story to my friends often.
 
So much meta commentary about people I don't even know. Apparently people in this thread are far more popular than I thought.
 
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