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November? More like Confessember! Anonymous Confessions/Advice Thread 2013

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We've moved so much all of my friends are in other states too. I tried craigslist as well. I got some girls from two hours-four hours away to respond...and a bunch of dudes looking for girl friends even though I said I was married and only looking for platonic relationships.

The best one (I'd described how geeky I was and how into video games I was and such) was simply:

"OMG Please be real please be real!"

So did you have any success?
 
Random confession: Not many words in the english language bother me like the slang spelling of 'cum'.

This is possibly because I read a lot of erotica, and people have begun to seriously use that in published lit. Not to mention how often it shows up in fanfic. "Wow this is really well written, I might have too...OMG THEY USED 'CUM' instread of 'come'."

It makes you look like a 12 year old, hunched over a computer, giggling to your friends author. STOP IT.

oh cum on.
 
oh cum on.

vOduV.gif
 
Random confession: Not many words in the english language bother me like the slang spelling of 'cum'.

This is possibly because I read a lot of erotica, and people have begun to seriously use that in published lit. Not to mention how often it shows up in fanfic. "Wow this is really well written, I might have too...OMG THEY USED 'CUM' instread of 'come'."

It makes you look like a 12 year old, hunched over a computer, giggling to your friends author. STOP IT.

cum on feel the noize
girls rock your boys
 
I thought come was the act, and cum was the product.

cum (verb and noun) seems to be a modern (by 1973) variant of the sexual sense of come that originated in pornographic writing, perhaps first in the noun sense. This "experience sexual orgasm" slang meaning of come (perhaps originally come off) is attested from 1650, in "Walking In A Meadowe Greene," in a folio of "loose songs" collected by Bishop Percy. [...]

As a noun meaning "semen or other product of orgasm" it is on record from the 1920s. The sexual cum seems to have no connection with Latin cum, the preposition meaning "with, together with," [...].
 
Ironically the use of "come" in that context rubs me the wrong way on account it's using a verb as a noun.

I don't consume a lot of written porn/erotica, so thankfully it's not much of an issue for me.
 
Nope, I am sure you are not. But it was 'come', teenagers on the internet made it 'cum'.

Among my writer friends, they say 'come is for erotica, cum is for badly written porn'
Interesting. What about the noun form though? Wouldn't you say "My wife wants me to put my cum in ziplocs"? Using 'come' in that case seems weird. Even if it is wrong though I support using 'cum' in that case since we already have too many words spelled the same with different meanings.
 
Not really a confession but something I need to get off my chest. Got romantically involved with a friend who lives abroad. Have spent the last few months going back and forth visiting each other when possible. So, I went to see her last month and on the day I arrive she confronts me and tells me she's pregnant. Apparently she was on antibiotics when we were last together, which negated the effect of the pill. Nice of her to tell me. We both agreed that considering the distance between us, and our already hectic lives (she has a five year old kid, works and goes to school, and I live and work in a different country) that unfortunately an abortion was the only option. Wouldn't be fair to bring up a child given our circumstances. I insist on accompanying her to the clinic but she convinces me that she wouldn't feel comfortable with me being there. So she went with a friend instead. A day or so after that she asks me to leave. When I get home, sad and confused, two weeks go by without hearing a word from her. She deliberately ignores all of my messages and calls.
Fast forward to last week and I finally receive a call. Turns out she had a change of heart and didn't go through with the abortion. Not only that, but she doesn't want me to be involved in anyway- basically wants to cut me off entirely. I feel like I've been cheated and am completely powerless to do anything. The stress is eating me alive.
So I guess this is a good point to warn the rest of you. There will be a lot of feels coming up. Lots and lots of them.
 
Nope :( Like I said, two girls wanted to hang out, but they were a two hour drive away. Other than that, zip.

I'm arranging a board-game night with my SO's previous Sci-Fi Lit teacher and a few of the people from that class.

I'm just saying. You're on the bad coast.

In that case, I'd rather use any of the the hundred other words for ejaculate than something that looks like text speak, ya know?

Man-yogurt?
 
Interesting. What about the noun form though? Wouldn't you say "My wife wants me to put my cum in ziplocs"? Using 'come' in that case seems weird. Even if it is wrong though I support using 'cum' in that case since we already have too many words spelled the same with different meanings.

In that case, I'd rather use any of the hundred other words for ejaculate than something that looks like text speak, ya know?

I'm arranging a board-game night with Rachel's previous Sci-Fi Lit teacher and a few of the people from that class.

I'm just saying. You're on the bad coast.

Yeah well...you know me and big cities. I become a hermit. Wait, I am still a hermit. Ah well.

Sides, I can't move now, I am a getting a ton of weird benefits for living on dead guy land! (Call me sometime, it's funny as hell)

Man-yogurt?

Are we going to keep having a conversation in these two posts? Because that's kinda weird.
 
Having studied Latin from an early age and also being a little sheltered, I was confused at first when people were using cum to meaning anything other than "with".
 
I'm a university student. Twice a week I have a six hour block of free time, and I just spend it using my laptop on certain places around campus, on various sites and games.

This makes me feel extremely lonely. I don't have a lot of friends on campus yet (it's my first semester). I am in this one kind of fraternity-like organization, but I'm usually not motivated to hang out there. When I do go, I usually just use my computer or text my girlfriend. But she's still in high school, and isn't able to use her phone for most of the day.

I felt lonely for the first half of high school, then became extremely close with the ~30 people in my drama class. Now, a lot of them have either gone to other places for college, or I just don't see them much. My other friends mostly went out of town for college. I have one really, really close girl friend and we hang out all the time. But other than that I only hang out with the friends/acquaintances in my pseudo-frat and the guys from a team I'm on.

I only don't feel lonely when I'm with other guys from my team or when I'm talking to either my girlfriend or the friend I mentioned. My best friend is a guy I've known since middle school, but we go to different schools in the same city, and haven't hung out since September. I've texted him two or three times asking if he wanted to hang out, but something always came up. I'm worried that he's trying to avoid me.

Anybody know tips or whatever to make friends and get rid of this loneliness? I'm kind of awkward with conversation and I was ugly basically until last year. So my self esteem is pretty low.
Seems appropriate given the current topic
 
Not really a confession but something I need to get off my chest. Got romantically involved with a friend who lives abroad. Have spent the last few months going back and forth visiting each other when possible. So, I went to see her last month and on the day I arrive she confronts me and tells me she's pregnant. Apparently she was on antibiotics when we were last together, which negated the effect of the pill. Nice of her to tell me. We both agreed that considering the distance between us, and our already hectic lives (she has a five year old kid, works and goes to school, and I live and work in a different country) that unfortunately an abortion was the only option. Wouldn't be fair to bring up a child given our circumstances. I insist on accompanying her to the clinic but she convinces me that she wouldn't feel comfortable with me being there. So she went with a friend instead. A day or so after that she asks me to leave. When I get home, sad and confused, two weeks go by without hearing a word from her. She deliberately ignores all of my messages and calls.
Fast forward to last week and I finally receive a call. Turns out she had a change of heart and didn't go through with the abortion. Not only that, but she doesn't want me to be involved in anyway- basically wants to cut me off entirely. I feel like I've been cheated and am completely powerless to do anything. The stress is eating me alive.
So awful to impregnate people you can't trust and this is just another example why. It really sucks and I feel for you. It's shitty of her to change her mind without telling you but in my opinion it's ultimately her call whether or not to carry on with the birth. Cutting you out of the kid's life though? Not allowed. There are legal ramifications there. I guess you have to decide whether you want to be involved or not and either way, like ronito said, lots of emotional turmoil will ensue.
 
My mother died in a car accident a few years ago. Roughly 3 or so months before her death she flew into a rage because I acted like a brat at the mall (by speaking in a condescending tone) and said that she thought I was Hitler reincarnated. Then she recanted and instead said that she thought she must have been Hitler reincarnated because that was the only explanation for why god would punish her with such a terrible life and children. That single memory comes to the forefront of my mind whenever I think about my mother. It has tarnished pretty much all of my memories of her. She never apologized for it, and now never will be able to. I think I really hate her for it. I think I'm glad she's dead. But I also think that makes me a horrible person, and there's nobody in real life I dare talk to about this because of that.
More feels
 
Seems appropriate given the current topic

Nerd Friend Getting Tip #4:

Go to your local comic book shop and ask the proprietor if he'd allow you to set up a gaming night. Doesn't matter what kind. Preferably not something like M:tG or Hero Clix or something that requires a bunch of money.

Munchkins is great for this.

Yes, you'll be the dork who has a table set up to teach people how to play Munchkins.

And yes, you'll meet a bunch of weird people who smell like a burned out transformer.

But you also might just make a few friends.

And one stalker.
 
My father left my mom and I when I was still a toddler and stopped contacting me in middle school. I was sexually abused for the longest time by people who were supposed to be my family when I was a kid. When I tried to tell my mom she was more concerned whether or not my hymen was broken and got angry and told me I didn't know what I was talking about so I told her maybe it was just a dream. It wasn't a dream. You don't ever forget pain like that. My mother eventually stopped showing affection to me when I wasn't shaping up to be the daughter she wanted. Growing up, I felt left out because my mother didn't let me out of the house. All I had to keep me company were my video games. I didn't make many friends and I was never invited to parties or events. The one time I did get invited was in middle school and my mom didn't let me go. My mom was so paranoid and kept such a tight leash on me that I lost an opportunity to go to an expensive and elite school for free because I would have had to stay there for a week for a program that not many kids were chosen for. My boyfriend of many years left me because I wasn't making him happy even though I tried so hard and put so much time and money and effort into our relationship. My entire life I've spent trying to make people happy and feel loved but now as I sit here, typing this all out I can't help but cry. I'm too afraid now to get close to anyone. I don't know what I'll do if my heart breaks again. There's only so much I can take. I'd never kill myself though, I'm too afraid of death.

When I go outside today though I'll have a smile on my face and greet everyone as I usually do because I don't want anyone to know how broken I am inside. All I have left is my composure.

why-cant-i-hold-all-these-feel.jpg
 
I'm a university student. Twice a week I have a six hour block of free time, and I just spend it using my laptop on certain places around campus, on various sites and games.

This makes me feel extremely lonely. I don't have a lot of friends on campus yet (it's my first semester). I am in this one kind of fraternity-like organization, but I'm usually not motivated to hang out there. When I do go, I usually just use my computer or text my girlfriend. But she's still in high school, and isn't able to use her phone for most of the day.

I felt lonely for the first half of high school, then became extremely close with the ~30 people in my drama class. Now, a lot of them have either gone to other places for college, or I just don't see them much. My other friends mostly went out of town for college. I have one really, really close girl friend and we hang out all the time. But other than that I only hang out with the friends/acquaintances in my pseudo-frat and the guys from a team I'm on.

I only don't feel lonely when I'm with other guys from my team or when I'm talking to either my girlfriend or the friend I mentioned. My best friend is a guy I've known since middle school, but we go to different schools in the same city, and haven't hung out since September. I've texted him two or three times asking if he wanted to hang out, but something always came up. I'm worried that he's trying to avoid me.

Anybody know tips or whatever to make friends and get rid of this loneliness? I'm kind of awkward with conversation and I was ugly basically until last year. So my self esteem is pretty low.

I can only speak from personal experience about how I came out of my shell in college but I hope it helps. I've always had a bit of social anxiety and never had close friends until I got to college so making friends was incredibly difficult for me. What finally got me to break my shell was joining a fraternity. Yeah I was hazed and all that but I met my best friends and other lifelong friends within the fraternity. The pledging process put me in some incredibly uncomfortable (for me) social situations where I either had to get past my anxiety or be that really weird dude in the fraternity. Needless to say I got over my social anxiety and I am a much better person for it.

Try and spend more time with the guys in your fraternity and stop using your phone as a crutch in social situations. I bet you'll make some good friends within your fraternity if you really make an effort. Also join clubs for stuff that interests you. If you like sports the intramural sports leagues are great ways to meet people.
 
Let's lighten the mood a bit.
Years ago, when visiting the houses of female friends, I would occasionally swipe a pair of their underwear. Not to sniff them or anything like that, but to wear them because I thought I looked cute in them and I liked to wear girl's underwear.

I felt ever worse about this later on (not only because the thought of just buying them from the store never occurred to me) but because I learned it was much easier to just ask my female friends if I could have a pair to wear. It worked surprisingly more often than expected.
I just...but with the internet couldn't you just order...why ask them?
 
I can only speak from personal experience about how I came out of my shell in college but I hope it helps. I've always had a bit of social anxiety and never had close friends until I got to college so making friends was incredibly difficult for me. What finally got me to break my shell was joining a fraternity. Yeah I was hazed and all that but I met my best friends and other lifelong friends within the fraternity. The pledging process put me in some incredibly uncomfortable (for me) social situations where I either had to get past my anxiety or be that really weird dude in the fraternity. Needless to say I got over my social anxiety and I am a much better person for it.

Try and spend more time with the guys in your fraternity and stop using your phone as a crutch in social situations. I bet you'll make some good friends within your fraternity if you really make an effort. Also join clubs for stuff that interests you. If you like sports the intramural sports leagues are great ways to meet people.

See, I never understood joining fraternities in order to make friends.

Especially when you admit that they hazed you.

I've never met a super Fratty guy who I've ever wanted to have more than a superficial relationship with.

Maybe I'm just too picky in my friends, but 'Frat-Boy' in your qualifications puts you waaay down the list for me.

Yes, I have a list.
 
You know, I've never thought about it, but I don't think I'd give panties to someone I wasn't sleeping with/wanted to sleep with. Huh.

Is anon explaining why he wanted them or just randomly asking?
 
I'm not sure about the whole fraternity thing. Wikipedia says a fraternity/sorority is gender-based. Surely, that can't be what you're talking about? /non-American
 
On making friends in college, join clubs with your interests. I joined a co-ed service fraternity, which was really fun in addition to doing service related things like bringing food to the food bank etc.
 
See, I never understood joining fraternities in order to make friends.

Especially when you admit that they hazed you.

I've never met a super Fratty guy who I've ever wanted to have more than a superficial relationship with.

Maybe I'm just too picky in my friends, but 'Frat-Boy' in your qualifications puts you waaay down the list for me.

Yes, I have a list.

I can understand why you'd think that. I guess it's hard to explain what it's like being in a fraternity without coming off as some fratty douche. We were a local fraternity and had our own distinct personality so we weren't what you would think of as a typical frat. We were the most diverse fraternity on campus. There were 35 of us and 3 were openly gay, half were STEM students, 1/3 of us were minorities and 1/4 of the frat were international students.

I went to a small liberal arts university so if you didn't go greek the social scene kind of really sucked. Plus sorority girls.
 
In that case, I'd rather use any of the hundred other words for ejaculate than something that looks like text speak, ya know?
They are all HORRIBLE. Seriously, Fiction, I trust your judgement- what is the superior term? I'd love a decent one but English sort of just sucks at run-of-the-mill everyday standard vocabulary for all terminology relating to sexuality, not just this one.

When using it in the noun sense you may hate "cum" 'cause it looks like it was written in an AOL chat room but I hate "come" 'cause of its lexical ambiguity.
I'm with you. I thought it was a real word, not slang.
slangs is real words too :{
 
When I was like 8 or 9 years old, in primary school... I remember some girls from my class teasing me. This was back when everyone had a girlfriend or boyfriend and the next week you'd have a different one. Anyway, they kept teasing me and I can't remember why or how... but at one point, I just unzipped my pants and showed them my penis.

And then they started screaming. Not in a really scared way, but in a "lol anon what are you doing ??!" way. And I was running after them the entire time. This happened on the playground during a break so a lot of kids must have seen me. I was really young so I can't really remember all the details.

It's stupid but I still feel embarrassed about it.
Sometimes when people are teasing you the only recourse you have is to pull out your penis and run around. It is known.
 
Stupid confession: I'm like 99.9999999999999% I saw a GAFer on the bus about an hour ago. Like, I'm almost willing to bet money on this. I recognized her because I've seen her photo on the forum before (and hold your horses, I'm not creepy, I'd be able to recognize a lot of people). I was gonna make a thread on this, but then I realized that that would be a terrible idea and I'd be mocked mercilessly for it. I'm trying to place the name, and I think it's "Ilana" or "Iliana"? Something to that effect. Which is weird, because whoever that individual is, I thought she was somewhere in Middle America.

Just... really strange moment. Even if it wasn't her, it looked exactly like her.
 
Stupid confession: I'm like 99.9999999999999% I saw a GAFer on the bus about an hour ago. Like, I'm almost willing to bet money on this. I recognized her because I've seen her photo on the forum before (and hold your horses, I'm not creepy, I'd be able to recognize a lot of people). I was gonna make a thread on this, but then I realized that that would be a terrible idea and I'd be mocked mercilessly for it. I'm trying to place the name, and I think it's "Ilana" or "Iliana"? Something to that effect. Which is weird, because whoever that individual is, I thought she was somewhere in Middle America.

Just... really strange moment. Even if it wasn't her, it looked exactly like her.

Should have shared a look with her before vanishing into the night.


Fiction: It's too bad I'm like four hours south of you. I'd hang out. :<

edit: Also, I'm having a hard time making friends as well. Don't have any locally at the moment. Some stuff happened that alienated me from my social circle and I don't know what to do to make new friends. It has always been difficult for me. I'm an introvert so I'm not too bothered by being lonely, but I would like to hang out with others sometime.
 
i finally found out the details of my wife's experiences with other girls. one in particular.

i knew the girl in HS as well. i pictured it. very nice
 
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