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November? More like Confessember! Anonymous Confessions/Advice Thread 2013

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Stupid confession: I'm like 99.9999999999999% I saw a GAFer on the bus about an hour ago. Like, I'm almost willing to bet money on this. I recognized her because I've seen her photo on the forum before (and hold your horses, I'm not creepy, I'd be able to recognize a lot of people). I was gonna make a thread on this, but then I realized that that would be a terrible idea and I'd be mocked mercilessly for it. I'm trying to place the name, and I think it's "Ilana" or "Iliana"? Something to that effect. Which is weird, because whoever that individual is, I thought she was somewhere in Middle America.

Just... really strange moment. Even if it wasn't her, it looked exactly like her.
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Was she stealing something?
 
ronito said:
why-cant-i-hold-all-these-feel.jpg
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Damn. Whoever you are, know that you are incredibly strong just for being able to type all that out, even anonymously. I have no doubts you'll make it through, and much better things are coming. I'm sure there's lots of people on GAF who'd be there for you if you needed to talk, me included.
 
There's lots of GAFers who, if geography provided, I'd totally hang out with.

And there's some who, bad fortune and geography colluded with, want to hang out and I have no interest in.

NO OFFENSE IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE I AM JUST NOT THAT GUY
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Riiiiiight, then you'd be seeing a thread titled "Why do creepy guys always stare at me on the bus?"
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Staring happens. I stare. People stare. Who doesn't stare?

ShockingAlberto said:
There's lots of GAFers who, if geography provided, I'd totally hang out with.

And there's some who, bad fortune and geography colluded with, want to hang out and I have no interest in.

NO OFFENSE IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE I AM JUST NOT THAT GUY
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It is time.

It is time for you to be that guy.
 
Fiction said:
Nope, I am sure you are not. But it was 'come', teenagers on the internet made it 'cum'.

Among my writer friends, they say 'come is for erotica, cum is for badly written porn'
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Pretty sure "cum" predates the broadband internet. At least penthouse in the early 90's used it.

Ah I see it was already adressed, even older than I thought.
 
You guys keep using my real name on here and i'll use yours. Edit yo posts.


Hawkian said:
When using it in the noun sense you may hate "cum" 'cause it looks like it was written in an AOL chat room but I hate "come" 'cause of its lexical ambiguity.

slangs is real words too :{
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Come on now, there's a TON of lexically ambiguous words in english, come is hardly alone in that.
 
Lissar said:
It is time.

It is time for you to be that guy.
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I feel bad telling this story, but a well-known GAFer once streetpassed me in town. Since my Streetpass message is my twitter profile, they put two and two together (my twitter profile has my GAF avatar) and asked if I wanted to hang out some time. I never replied because the idea of meeting people I don't personally know that well kind of weirded me out.

Nothing against that guy in particular! I just feel strange about it.
 
ShockingAlberto said:
I feel bad telling this story, but a well-known GAFer once streetpassed me in town. Since my Streetpass message is my twitter profile, they put two and two together (my twitter profile has my GAF avatar) and asked if I wanted to hang out some time. I never replied because the idea of meeting people I don't personally know that well kind of weirded me out.

Nothing against that guy in particular! I just feel strange about it.
Click to expand...

Somewhere out there a well known GAFfer is crying.
 
Aaaaannnddd the dick pics have arrived. Thanks gaf, it wouldn't be a confession run without dick pics. Thanks for that
 
Featheredkitten said:
Come on now,
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ಠ_ಠ
there's a TON of lexically ambiguous words in english, come is hardly alone in that.
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I dunno why I made you think I was singling it out as uniquely annoying. I try to avoid it always, not just in discussion of sexy fun times
Lissar said:
Stamping out lexical ambiguity one word at a time.

English would not be as fun without it.
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Hah, yeah, that's a job that would take the rest of our lives to complete. But hey. Every little bit.
 
ronito said:
Let's lighten the mood a bit.
I just...but with the internet couldn't you just order...why ask them?
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'Worked better than expected".

Well yeah, I suppose I would be all "I can't believe they actually gave me one of these".

I want less depression and more cross dressing, semen, exhibitionism, incest and cheating.
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I'm pretty sure there must be a h-doujin that includes four or all of those.
 
My father left my mom and I when I was still a toddler and stopped contacting me in middle school. I was sexually abused for the longest time by people who were supposed to be my family when I was a kid. When I tried to tell my mom she was more concerned whether or not my hymen was broken and got angry and told me I didn't know what I was talking about so I told her maybe it was just a dream. It wasn't a dream. You don't ever forget pain like that. My mother eventually stopped showing affection to me when I wasn't shaping up to be the daughter she wanted. Growing up, I felt left out because my mother didn't let me out of the house. All I had to keep me company were my video games. I didn't make many friends and I was never invited to parties or events. The one time I did get invited was in middle school and my mom didn't let me go. My mom was so paranoid and kept such a tight leash on me that I lost an opportunity to go to an expensive and elite school for free because I would have had to stay there for a week for a program that not many kids were chosen for. My boyfriend of many years left me because I wasn't making him happy even though I tried so hard and put so much time and money and effort into our relationship. My entire life I've spent trying to make people happy and feel loved but now as I sit here, typing this all out I can't help but cry. I'm too afraid now to get close to anyone. I don't know what I'll do if my heart breaks again. There's only so much I can take. I'd never kill myself though, I'm too afraid of death.

When I go outside today though I'll have a smile on my face and greet everyone as I usually do because I don't want anyone to know how broken I am inside. All I have left is my composure.
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If I were you, I'd start working on becoming a better person. You grew up in a bad environment raised by an irresponsible mother. People around you used you for their own egoistic gains.

There should be a moral in this. And simply put it's that most people will disappoint you. You relied too long on others, that they eventually chose to take advantage of or neglect you.

I went to a primary school where I was mocked, harrassed, bullied, verbally and physically abused every day. It's something I will never forget. If my mental scars could translate into physical scars I'd look like a mutilated corpse. To add insult to injury, afterwards I was manipulated by some horrible folks for a long time. I've met some truely repulsive and dishonest people in my life, which most likely could be described as the textbook definition of monsters.

As tacky as it may seem, there's a latin phrase (which I'm kinda borrowing from MGS Peace Walker) that encapsulates how untrustworthy most people are:

"homo homini lupus", which translated means:

"man is a wolf to his fellow man"

Take control of your own life. Don't let people take control of yours. Read. Work hard. Work to get yourself out of your current situation. Surround yourself with smart and hard working people. Distance yourself from the past and only let it make you care what's in it for you in the future. The faster you work yourself out of your surroundings, the faster you can transform your life into something positive.

Do not let people with a negative influence have a welcome in your life. Even a parent like your supposedly "caring mother", that were suppose to support and help someone like you, as her daughter, really expressed little interest or understanding, shouldn't deserve a place in your life. In the end the only person you can ultimately rely on is yourself.
 
highluxury said:
If I were you, I'd start working on becoming a better person. You grew up in a bad environment raised by an irresponsible mother. People around you used you for their own egoistic gains.

There should be a moral in this. And simply put it's that most people will disappoint you. You relied too long on others, that they eventually chose to take advantage of or neglect you.

I went to a primary school where I was mocked, harrassed, bullied, verbally and physically abused every day. It's something I will never forget. If my mental scars could translate into physical scars I'd look like a mutilated corpse. To add insult to injury, afterwards I was manipulated by some horrible folks for a long time. I've met some truely repulsive and dishonest people in my life, which most likely could be described as the textbook definition of monsters.

As tacky as it may seem, there's a latin phrase (which I'm kinda borrowing from MGS Peace Walker) that encapsulates how untrustworthy most people are:

"homo homini lupus", which translated means:

"man is a wolf to his fellow man"

Take control of your own life. Don't let people take control of yours. Read. Work hard. Work to get yourself out of your current situation. Surround yourself with smart and hard working people. Distance yourself from the past and only let it make you care what's in it for you in the future. The faster you work yourself out of your surroundings, the faster you can transform your life into something positive.

Do not let people with a negative influence have a welcome in your life. Even a parent like your supposedly "caring mother", that were suppose to support and help someone like you, as her daughter, really expressed little interest or understanding, shouldn't deserve a place in your life. In the end the only person you can ultimately rely on is yourself.
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Great advice from a great guy. Listen to Highluxury!

Also...people are swapping dick pics?

i2kzYw5znO8rH.gif


Let me know if it's safe to contribute!
 
No proactive TL;DR on this one.
This is a bit longer than I intended but hopefully it's a good read.

So my neighbor growing up was a total MILF. I'm talking only 32 years old, big boobs, big ass, toned abs, tan, beautiful face - the whole package. She was my mom's best friend, her son was my best friend, and we shared back yards. I was over at their house constantly. Around the time I was 13-14 she became single and coincidentally I started going over there more and more often to hang out with her son/my friend. The bulk of this story takes place about two years later when I was ~16, entering my junior year of high school.

Well one time I'm over there and we're downstairs playing Xbox. Well my friend went into the bathroom downstairs to use it and I really had to go as well and couldn't wait so I went upstairs to the bathroom I rarely used. It was one right next to the MILF's bedroom. So I do my thing and realize I'm out of toilet paper so I start searching around. I open the closet door and see a laundry basket with a nice bright pink thong sitting right on top. Heart stop, instant boner, freak out and so on. Everything else was forgotten and I partook in the most serious session of masturbation in my entire life. To this day I have not had one better.

That was the first time I jerked off in her bathroom. Over the course of about 6-8 months I eventually lost count. I went over there practically daily and almost always went to the bathroom, found a thong or bra(34C, by the way) and jerked off while either looking at them, holding them, wrapping them around my junk, or whatever. I rarely actually used the bathroom there but spent probably 5-10 minutes there every time. My friend was just oblivious. He was roughly a year or so younger than me so either he wasn't beating it yet or just did not realize how I felt about his mom. Who knows. Who cares. We're not friends anymore.

Anyway, I thought I saw signs that she liked me too. She always wore Victoria's Secret stuff and got the catalogs and everything. Every time one came in she would always give it to me and say "Tell me what looks hot" or "Find the good stuff" and give me winks while saying it. She'd bend over and grab things on the floor with perfect shots of her ass at me and would wear low cut shirts and bend over in front of me to let me get a look at her cleavage. Maybe it was not deliberate and it certainly was not very many times, I assure you, but often enough that it got me thinking that I was not the only one with feelings. Oh, and she had absolutely the BEST smelling perfume in the world.

So one time I'm going to a buddy's house(not her son) and I am bringing my Xbox over so we can play. I only had one controller, so I call over to my neighbor's house to ask if I can stop by and borrow a controller for the night. MILF answers and says they're heading out but the key is hidden under this rock so I can unlock the door, get in, and grab it. So I head over, get in, grab the controller, and have to go to the bathroom. I head upstairs and run out of toilet paper. Blast from the past, I see a thong in the laundry basket. I don't know what I'm thinking but I stuff it in my pocket and head out. Get to my friend's house and bust it out to brag like I got it from some girl. Well I did not realize that I can't really put it back. Like it just appears back in the laundry basket a few days later next time I'm over? I can't really hide it somewhere else in the house hoping she'll find it. So I hide it in the back of my closet at home and call it good. Totally forget about it. Months later(near the end of Junior year) I find it and in a moment of guilt head over.

I'm beating around the bush trying to figure out how to tell her and I'm following her around helping her clean this or reach that, talking for about an hour. I had more than a few looks at her ass or boobs or whatever. I figured it was time and in my head it was about to be a Brazzers moment. I tell her I stole the thong and ask if she wants it back. She laughed at me and then just asked me to leave. I keep talking and trying to explain it off thinking I can salvage losing my V-Card to a 10/10 MILF and she just shakes her head and laughs, says "Hormones are a bitch, huh?" and guides me out the door. I stopped going over there as often and saw her less frequently. But next time I did see her it was like nothing happened. She hasn't mentioned it since. I threw the thong away a few days later.

I eventually told my current girlfriend of almost two years and she brings it up from time to time to make fun of me. Oh well. It's a funny story. I haven't really told anybody else.

Hope you enjoyed it, Gaf.
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Oh man, what did you think was gonna happen honestly?
"So I uh, stole one of your thongs......You want it back?"
"Oh take me now!!"
 
ronito said:
No proactive TL;DR on this one.

Oh man, what did you think was gonna happen honestly?
"So I uh, stole one of your thongs......You want it back?"
"Oh take me now!!"
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Lol exactly what I was thinking.

Doesn't exactly seem like an inspiring sexy "Oh. you're such a naughty boy! ;-)"-moment to me.

But it was worth a try confessor!
 
really surprised at the preponderance of "i have no friends" posts in here. i thought it was just me. i made a thread awhile back about how it's a challenge finding any friends as I move into my 30s. all of my core friends have either moved away, moved to other social circles, or become different (less compatible) people. i talk to almost nobody in person about gaming, and the only person i ever play games with is my amazing fiance. she's not a super gamer, but she tries and enjoys watching me play from time to time. it's a pretty major facet of my life that i share with basically nobody.

Like the hat? said:
I have no friends other than my wife
My wife wanted to have a 30th birthday party for me but I kept telling her not to. She went ahead with trying to set one up anyway. The only two people that were willing to come were friends of hers.

I mean, I have acquaintances, people that I will hang out with if it's convenient for them, but nobody that I would consider a friend other than her.
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yeah like this.

Fiction said:
We've moved so much all of my friends are in other states too. I tried craigslist as well. I got some girls from two hours-four hours away to respond...and a bunch of dudes looking for girl friends even though I said I was married and only looking for platonic relationships.

The best one (I'd described how geeky I was and how into video games I was and such) was simply:

"OMG Please be real please be real!"
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this is sort of my last ditch resort i think. i don't want any horror stories from driving 80 miles just to meet a complete weirdo. there's no gaming (only board/tabletop which i'm not really into) groups on meetup.com in my area, unfortunately.


although i'm thinking about starting an AZ-GAF (i know there's a few of us) meet up thread, so look for in the near future that i guess.
 
I've been lurking on Gaf for a couple years now, and even though I can't communicate with you guys, i feel like you are my family. Thanks gaf, and let the good times roll.
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Every confession run I always get a few of these. I don't understand lurkers.
Why lurk when you can participate?
 
I'm glad none of the mods are reading the thread. Because I'm just like that guy afraid of being banned so I have 4 different GAF accounts.
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Again, something I don't get. If you don't wanna get banned don't do anything that will get you banned.
 
I'm trying my best not to sound like a livejournal/tumblr kid, but once I learned that people around me never had the intention of being my friends but rather as an object they use when they need it, I stopped caring about being a loner.

Sure, it was a bit depressing that I couldn't talk to people at all. Finished college without making any friends. I don't speak to nobody and when I do, it's mostly faking I'm their friend because they're useful in some form.

Let's just say that they're good for something in the same manner that I'm useful to them somehow, a chain of favours or something.

But social interaction, going to parties and enjoying myself around people? Fucking waste of time, I'd rather stay in my room and do it only if it's absolutely neccesary or will be useful in the future.
 
I realized any confession I'd send in would just be a therapy session. I'll send something more spicy when I see macuser again.

@Kiefer, it sounds like you have had a bad string of luck with the people you have interacted with. It can get to the point where it seems that's all anybody is like, but that's simply not true. Good people who want genuine friendships are out there. Just look at the people posting in this thread.
Not me though I'm horrible
 
OK, so I emailed in my confession earlier today.

I'll let y'all try and work out which one it is. I'm curious to see the replies.
 
Not really a confession but something I need to get off my chest. Got romantically involved with a friend who lives abroad. Have spent the last few months going back and forth visiting each other when possible. So, I went to see her last month and on the day I arrive she confronts me and tells me she's pregnant. Apparently she was on antibiotics when we were last together, which negated the effect of the pill. Nice of her to tell me. We both agreed that considering the distance between us, and our already hectic lives (she has a five year old kid, works and goes to school, and I live and work in a different country) that unfortunately an abortion was the only option. Wouldn't be fair to bring up a child given our circumstances. I insist on accompanying her to the clinic but she convinces me that she wouldn't feel comfortable with me being there. So she went with a friend instead. A day or so after that she asks me to leave. When I get home, sad and confused, two weeks go by without hearing a word from her. She deliberately ignores all of my messages and calls.
Fast forward to last week and I finally receive a call. Turns out she had a change of heart and didn't go through with the abortion. Not only that, but she doesn't want me to be involved in anyway- basically wants to cut me off entirely. I feel like I've been cheated and am completely powerless to do anything. The stress is eating me alive.
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Dude... Seems to me like you got a get-outta-jail-free card.
Cut all ties with the woman.
Move.
Change all contact details.
Never hear from her again.
Just pretend your kid doesn't exist.
Profit. :D
 
John Rabbit said:
really surprised at the preponderance of "i have no friends" posts in here. i thought it was just me. i made a thread awhile back about how it's a challenge finding any friends as I move into my 30s. all of my core friends have either moved away, moved to other social circles, or become different (less compatible) people. i talk to almost nobody in person about gaming, and the only person i ever play games with is my amazing fiance. she's not a super gamer, but she tries and enjoys watching me play from time to time. it's a pretty major facet of my life that i share with basically nobody.


yeah like this.


this is sort of my last ditch resort i think. i don't want any horror stories from driving 80 miles just to meet a complete weirdo. there's no gaming (only board/tabletop which i'm not really into) groups on meetup.com in my area, unfortunately.


although i'm thinking about starting an AZ-GAF (i know there's a few of us) meet up thread, so look for in the near future that i guess.
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There are other options that might net you closer people. I signed up on Yelp to basically see if anyone wanted to go out for a bite to eat at some cool places. Got plenty of replies looking for the same thing. Sorry to say I only took on the female invites because I didn't want to bother with any potential weirdness. :P

But, yeah. Try Yelp.
 
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