The thing about that line is that it's completely true. Tinder drained my battery so much when I still had it on my phone.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
The thing about that line is that it's completely true. Tinder drained my battery so much when I still had it on my phone.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
had a nice conversation with a girl yesterday and we tentatively made a date for this coming weekend. talked to her today and she said she wanted to postpone. she got cold feet from meeting someone online so she wants to "take it slower." Both conversations were on the phone. She said she wanted to postpone by phone instead of text out of respect, so it wasn't as much of a blow-off as it would seem otherwise, i suppose.
i said i understood, and she seems pretty cool so i guess i'll go along with it since she seems to be interested, just needs to get comfortable with the idea of meeting someone from the internet. or at least that's what i'm reading from it since she said as much.
i'm not even going to bother with the other girl i had a date with last week, she hasn't contacted me at all, so that validates my assumptions about what went on.
i said i understood, and she seems pretty cool so i guess i'll go along with it since she seems to be interested, just needs to get comfortable with the idea of meeting someone from the internet. or at least that's what i'm reading from it since she said as much.
i'm not even going to bother with the other girl i had a date with last week, she hasn't contacted me at all, so that validates my assumptions about what went on.
electricshake
Member
Or maybe she's waiting for you to contact her. Give her a text, what have you got to lose?
Got a tentative date set for tomorrow, though it isn't someone I met online. Had to drop by the grocery store I work at yesterday and decided to pop into the break room to see if anyone had time to chat. Turns out I was lucky - this one girl who I've been friends with for ages was there alone. She jumps up surprised to see me, runs over, and gives me a really long hug (like fifteen seconds I guess, I wasn't counting. It was pleasant). We chat for a bit about general life stuff and got on the topic of dating.
She had been telling me about this cute New Zealand guy she's been IMing for a while and finally shows me his picture on her phone. I look and respond "... I have to admit, I'm disappointed. /I'm/ cuter than that guy." She looks me in the eye and says "Yes. Yes you are." I told her about my tinder escapades and we got a laugh at of those. Was fun.
So she goes on to mention that she was going on a date to the fair with one guy tomorrow, but she wasn't sure if she actually wanted to really date him. I guess that's when it really clicked for me that I should make my move, because up until about a month ago she had been in a relationship and I didn't want to swoop in too soon. It was clear that she was looking for a guy so I wanted my chance, lol.
As she was getting up to pack her stuff I say "We should go on a date". She pauses for a moment and says: "Well let's see... You're cute, you're a good age, you have a car, you can drive that car, you're studying and working on a career, you have a job, and..." "I'm not secretly fifteen" (her last boyfriend lied about his age). We laugh about that, and I pull out my wallet - "check it, got the ID to prove it", I pull out my credit card by accident and roll with it "actually fuck it the credit card speaks for itself". She laughs and says "oh right, and you're naturally really funny. Sure!"
So we decided on either a movie or just hanging out around 7:00 tomorrow. I have to say, I'm excited for this one. Been crushing on this girl for a while. She's super cute, only about a year and a half younger than me, witty, etc. The one time we Skyped we ended up chatting until about 5 AM. Was great, lol.
She had been telling me about this cute New Zealand guy she's been IMing for a while and finally shows me his picture on her phone. I look and respond "... I have to admit, I'm disappointed. /I'm/ cuter than that guy." She looks me in the eye and says "Yes. Yes you are." I told her about my tinder escapades and we got a laugh at of those. Was fun.
So she goes on to mention that she was going on a date to the fair with one guy tomorrow, but she wasn't sure if she actually wanted to really date him. I guess that's when it really clicked for me that I should make my move, because up until about a month ago she had been in a relationship and I didn't want to swoop in too soon. It was clear that she was looking for a guy so I wanted my chance, lol.
As she was getting up to pack her stuff I say "We should go on a date". She pauses for a moment and says: "Well let's see... You're cute, you're a good age, you have a car, you can drive that car, you're studying and working on a career, you have a job, and..." "I'm not secretly fifteen" (her last boyfriend lied about his age). We laugh about that, and I pull out my wallet - "check it, got the ID to prove it", I pull out my credit card by accident and roll with it "actually fuck it the credit card speaks for itself". She laughs and says "oh right, and you're naturally really funny. Sure!"
So we decided on either a movie or just hanging out around 7:00 tomorrow. I have to say, I'm excited for this one. Been crushing on this girl for a while. She's super cute, only about a year and a half younger than me, witty, etc. The one time we Skyped we ended up chatting until about 5 AM. Was great, lol.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
I've been looking forward all day to going for drinks with this girl off Tinder (meeting her for the first time in 10mins when I finish work) but now my brain has decided to remind he how much I still want the girl I was seeing for the past two months. Nice one brain.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
I already did last week and she was kind of short with me. Didnt outright ask her If she wanted to go out, though.
Picked this up last night and went to her place. 👍
It was great. We didn't get a chance to use it though because things started before we had a chance to discuss the logistics of how we'd do it, but we have plans to meet up again to definitely incorporate it.
Also Tinder seems to be doing something funky because I've talked to other guys and gals and they're not getting as many matches are they used to. Seems to have dramatically slowed down and coming in way late. I'm assuming it has to do something with their upcoming pay services / countering spam & bots.
NoctisVsStar
Member
Picked this up last night and went to her place. ��
It was great. We didn't get a chance to use it though because things started before we had a chance to discuss the logistics of how we'd do it, but we have plans to meet up again to definitely incorporate it.
Also Tinder seems to be doing something funky because I've talked to other guys and gals and they're not getting as many matches are they used to. Seems to have dramatically slowed down and coming in way late. I'm assuming it has to do something with their upcoming pay services / countering spam & bots.
But I can't lie I'm more of a cool whip type of guy, ladies go crazy when I bring this bad boy.
Tinder has definitely been slowing down for me lately. I haven't gotten much matches lately although I have been chatting to a German girl today and used the line that GK86 mentioned since she said she had "to go pick up the kids."She said that will with a smiley face so signs are good with her since she's cute.
EDIT: GK86's line worked like a charm as she contacted me and we've been chatting via Whats App which is new to me. It turns out that she's a nanny so crisis averted on the kids stuff. Unfortunately when I suggested that we hang out this weekend, she said that she's incredibly busy the entire weekend with taking classes for her visa, work, and continuing education courses but no worries since she's being sincere. It also turns out that she's going to my alma mater for continuing education courses much to my surprise. EDIT 2: Welp, pretty sure I blew it with her by asking her what she finds so curious about listening to cassettes and said that I don't judge since she stopped replying but read my message. To add insult to injury, I mentioned that I have modest collect of cassettes at home. Oh well, live and learn and on to the next one.
Things are also going well with another girl who's number I got; 32 year old is going all right. Gonna try to see her this weekend for sure. Stealth Update: She said that her week has been hellish so far so I'm concerned that things are looking ugly for this weekend. =/
I think I might use that Nutella line a few times on a whim. Only thing is I personally find hazelnut spread to be a bit too sweet but it's damn good. Freshair is the hero Tinder deserves.
EDIT: GK86's line worked like a charm as she contacted me and we've been chatting via Whats App which is new to me. It turns out that she's a nanny so crisis averted on the kids stuff. Unfortunately when I suggested that we hang out this weekend, she said that she's incredibly busy the entire weekend with taking classes for her visa, work, and continuing education courses but no worries since she's being sincere. It also turns out that she's going to my alma mater for continuing education courses much to my surprise. EDIT 2: Welp, pretty sure I blew it with her by asking her what she finds so curious about listening to cassettes and said that I don't judge since she stopped replying but read my message. To add insult to injury, I mentioned that I have modest collect of cassettes at home. Oh well, live and learn and on to the next one.
Things are also going well with another girl who's number I got; 32 year old is going all right. Gonna try to see her this weekend for sure. Stealth Update: She said that her week has been hellish so far so I'm concerned that things are looking ugly for this weekend. =/
I think I might use that Nutella line a few times on a whim. Only thing is I personally find hazelnut spread to be a bit too sweet but it's damn good. Freshair is the hero Tinder deserves.
Fuck, her date with the other guy yesterday went awesome. She told me she kissed him on top of the ferries wheel.
I told her I was happy for her and asked if we were still on for tonight, she asked to confirm time, place, and cost, and I did. I think she's checking with her mom right now lol.
Man. That was not news I wanted to wake up to. Should I go for a kiss if things go well? I'm just pissed because the only reason I waited so long was because I didn't want to swoop in too quickly after her breakup. I should have invited her to the fair. Aaaghhhhh.
I told her I was happy for her and asked if we were still on for tonight, she asked to confirm time, place, and cost, and I did. I think she's checking with her mom right now lol.
Man. That was not news I wanted to wake up to. Should I go for a kiss if things go well? I'm just pissed because the only reason I waited so long was because I didn't want to swoop in too quickly after her breakup. I should have invited her to the fair. Aaaghhhhh.
stn
Member
Her telling you about the ferris wheel kissing rubs me the wrong way. People who tell one date about another date are generally looking for attention OR trying to say they're no longer interested. Its different to say "I recently met someone, I can no longer see you", as opposed to "I know we have a date but I kissed this guy and it was great and then we banged and then we cuddled and...".
Keep us posted.
EDIT: I reread your other post. You said you were friends with her for ages, right? And she came to you just to talk about the other guy? Yeah, you friend-zoned yourself (I believe in that term). Likely she felt pressured to accept your date offer, her talking about how her date went is probably a cue that she's not interested. She could just be vying for attention but probably not in this case.
Halcyon
Member
I feel like this is the wrong way to be looking at the situation. I wouldn't even meet with her. This won't end well for you.
stn
Member
If I was in the exact same situation then I would cancel. It really feels like this girl is talking highly of her other date in the hope that you'll back off. Chances are she's just too intimidated to cancel it herself, especially because you work in the same place.
Girls will often speak of other guys in order to gauge interest and create a bit of competition. Though, when done in a certain way they make it so that they want you to win (ex. they'll just make a guy up). This is different because she's already acted on the guy and went on a date with him. I don't know what the extent of your relationship with her is but it seems like she came to you just as a friend. Also, if you were her top priority then she would have found a way to date you before him.
Going by your last few posts it seems like she mentioned the guy, you asked her out, and then she went on a date with him first. Basically, she planned her first date with him after you asked her out. Is this correct?
Assuming she's not interested, she will probably still go out with you tonight. But only because she wants to avoid awkwardness. At the date she will most likely be passive, avoid too much touching, and will probably talk nonstop about how awesome the other guy is. In this case, its not your duty to "show her you're better". In fact, in my opinion you should never compete in that way. You shouldn't have to show you're better, she should already know you are. Know what I mean?
If you realize that all she's doing is talking about the other guy, call the date off early and make up a lie about needing to be home. And then focus your energy elsewhere. In case I'm completely off-base about my assumptions, go out and have a good time. But all the evidence I've seen so far suggests that she's not interested.
Girls will often speak of other guys in order to gauge interest and create a bit of competition. Though, when done in a certain way they make it so that they want you to win (ex. they'll just make a guy up). This is different because she's already acted on the guy and went on a date with him. I don't know what the extent of your relationship with her is but it seems like she came to you just as a friend. Also, if you were her top priority then she would have found a way to date you before him.
Going by your last few posts it seems like she mentioned the guy, you asked her out, and then she went on a date with him first. Basically, she planned her first date with him after you asked her out. Is this correct?
Assuming she's not interested, she will probably still go out with you tonight. But only because she wants to avoid awkwardness. At the date she will most likely be passive, avoid too much touching, and will probably talk nonstop about how awesome the other guy is. In this case, its not your duty to "show her you're better". In fact, in my opinion you should never compete in that way. You shouldn't have to show you're better, she should already know you are. Know what I mean?
If you realize that all she's doing is talking about the other guy, call the date off early and make up a lie about needing to be home. And then focus your energy elsewhere. In case I'm completely off-base about my assumptions, go out and have a good time. But all the evidence I've seen so far suggests that she's not interested.
I mean, it's already scheduled. Am I just supposed to cancel?
Yeah? Chances are she'll be happy to avoid awkwardness and won't bother to ask why, but if she does just be straight with her. "Honestly I have feelings for you and was looking forward to a date with you but since you found someone else I don't want to waste time or money (since she's concerned about it apparently) for either of us."
Go back to being friends if that's your fancy.
The other dude asked her out first, I don't know when. But yeah, I think you're right otherwise. I'll keep that advice about competition in mind in the future.
Alright, I'll do this. Thanks.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I remember being on a date and the girl was talking about how she met one guy who was a pilot and another guy who had a boat or something. Totally turned me off.
I think his situation is kind of unique because of the fact that they were friends before. But she expressed interest in him even after the fact, so I think he still has a chance.
However, I will agree with the others that relaying how a date went with someone you're about to go out with is extremely tacky and a turn off in my book.
So I'm not sure. Maybe just go through with the date since people do date multiple people at the same time, but if she brings it up again I'd say something.
However, I will agree with the others that relaying how a date went with someone you're about to go out with is extremely tacky and a turn off in my book.
So I'm not sure. Maybe just go through with the date since people do date multiple people at the same time, but if she brings it up again I'd say something.
So I tried to cancel, she asked why, and I told her that I just didn't want to get in the way if she really cared about that other dude. She insisted that she still wanted to go on a date with me though, so we're still on for tonight.
I feel a little bit like a "safe choice", but whatever. It's not like she's the only option I'll ever get, I'm just into her now and don't have anything else going on at the moment.
I'll see where this takes me and keep you guys posted.
I feel a little bit like a "safe choice", but whatever. It's not like she's the only option I'll ever get, I'm just into her now and don't have anything else going on at the moment.
I'll see where this takes me and keep you guys posted.
I don't think you should have said that. You're basically putting yourself in a position where you seem inferior to this other guy. It's too much of a "nice guy" thing to do.
stn
Member
Yeah, basically. You should have just said you're busy and that something came up, and then proceeded from there. HOWEVER, at the same time, I give you props for acting on the advice you were given. Just be cautious tonight if she starts talking about the other guy. That will be your sign to bail.
lol, she cancelled. Oh well, more fish yada yada. Just said "it's fine, lol. Gimme a shout if you want to reschedule." If she does give me a time I'll give her the benefit of the doubt but if not I'm just going to leave her alone and go back to treating her like normal. I had a bit of a crush on her but not so severe that it'll affect anything, just gonna let it go.
Being careful to be amicable so that this doesn't affect our friendship. Really not in the mood for awkwardness haha.
Thanks for the advice in any case. There's always next time.
Being careful to be amicable so that this doesn't affect our friendship. Really not in the mood for awkwardness haha.
Thanks for the advice in any case. There's always next time.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Girl I'm talking to seems hot and cold when I talk to her so I keep hesitating on asking her out. I'm thinking I should just move on but I'm not sure.
You should ask anyways and get your definitive answer!
Awesome. Good luck to you 👍
As for me, I met up with the other (non-nutella) Tinder girl again last night to watch more Buffy and cuddle a bit. Her roommates were all there (and one of them sat on the love seat next to us the whole time), so no sexy time happened. Made out with her for a bit when she walked me back to my car. This is the girl that's moving up back north in 2 months so it's just casual fun.
I've got a date tomorrow with a girl from OKC. 5'11 red head. I always seem to go for the tall ones. 💁
Then had another girl message me on OKC yesterday and we have a date for next weekend. We've been texting for a bit every day.
And this other Tinder girl and I have drink plans for next week as well. This is my 3rd time matching her, once on my old Tinder account before it got banned, once in Hinge (which is a shitty app, btw), and then again on my new Tinder account. I can't get a good read on this one. She's cute but isn't as receptive to my humor. Will have to evaluate in person. 👌
Welp, I got a date coming up this Saturday. We made plans on Wednesday. First tinder date of mine ever. Just wondering if it's appropriate to give a reminder, like "See you later today " on the day of or before, or do I simply go to the date location? I guess that's a more general dating question, but yeah.
" on the day of or before, or do I simply go to the date location? I guess that's a more general dating question, but yeah.Welp, I got a date coming up this Saturday. We made plans on Wednesday. First tinder date of mine ever. Just wondering if it's appropriate to give a reminder, like "See you later today
Always confirm the date. If it's later in the evening on Saturday, then I'll confirm on the morning. If it's Saturday morning, then I'd confirm the day before (tonight).
LiquidMetal14
hide your water-based mammals
Diggin' your bravado.Picked this up last night and went to her place. 👍
It was great. We didn't get a chance to use it though because things started before we had a chance to discuss the logistics of how we'd do it, but we have plans to meet up again to definitely incorporate it.
Also Tinder seems to be doing something funky because I've talked to other guys and gals and they're not getting as many matches are they used to. Seems to have dramatically slowed down and coming in way late. I'm assuming it has to do something with their upcoming pay services / countering spam & bots.
Thank you for the response!! What about... Saturday afternoon?
Welp I said no to sex tonight since the 32 year old said she wanted me in her bed tonight. I made an excuse and I said I don't have any condoms on me, otherwise I would've gone over. When I told her that I would go tomorrow night, she said she would keep me posted since she has to be in the city by 11AM next day. I done goof big time for sure guys. Point and laugh at my stupidity guys. I'll go play some Fantasy Life to hang my head dry. =/
Edit: Nevermind, it looks like life believes in giving me second chances that she's still responding to my texts so not all hope is lost.
Edit: Nevermind, it looks like life believes in giving me second chances that she's still responding to my texts so not all hope is lost.
stn
Member
Why did you refuse the first time? I'm a bit confused since you seem to want it.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Maybe I will. I'm kind of starting to lose interest with the hot and cold so I'll see. I think she wants to go ice skating with me so I'll see what happens.
Yeah... I'm completely lost. He turned her down but sad they won't be getting together?
BIGWORM
Member
Let's be honest, it's not a break up if you've only been on 3 dates. In short, she found someone more attractive than you. Just gotta suck it up and send those first messages.
Good luck man.
Nah, it's more likely that she was offended at my performance Wednesday night. My subconscious wasn't into her, and it showed.
jadedm17
Member
I'd say about 1/10 for quality responses (5) and of those one deleted their account right after responding to me. The responses of "hello" and "it's Tangled you don't even know the movie!" don't count to me. "I don't have fun" barely counts.
Yea, all things consider it's not horrible but it's disheartening nonetheless. Thankfully I have a high tolerance for mental abuse so it doesn't phase me much but it'd be cool to live In a world where I had a clue what was going on - namely with "hello" girl and account deleting girl.
jadedm17
Member
Who are you talking to? Me? If so then yes, theres a lot to attraction, i understand why a lot of women will just not be interested. If youre refering to the perspective of the girl who said "i dont have fun" or the other scenarios i mentioned then no, i have no clue whats going on there.Valtýr;139079674 said:
Your frustration about not getting responses from your self claimed "adorable" and "witty" messages is a clear sign that you're only viewing this process from your own perspective. Try to start thinking about who you're sending to and where they're coming from. Think about how many messages they get in the common day and how many "witty" messages they sift through.
You're right that online dating is the worst but it's bad on both sides for different reasons.
You're right that online dating is the worst but it's bad on both sides for different reasons.
Mine is quite literally 1/20 or 1/30 on average. Lately it's about 1/10 though because people want Winter Boos.
So I went on one of the strangest dates yesterday. I logged in once again on OKC, and messaged this chick. The thing is, she seems familiar, though I've never seen her particular profile before. Her age and location were the same and she kinda looked like this one chick I contacted a while back, but I thought it was just a coincidence. She replies back, and we exchange messages and she gives me her number. I type it into my phone and it turns out it is the same one from that same chick from before!
Apparently she didn't recognize my profile and I decided to just play along. So we go ahead and meet for coffee yesterday and things seem to be going well until towards the end when she says "you do look familiar. I feel like we spoke before". I say that we probably did but that it looks like we just lost touch for whatever reason. (The truth was a bit more complicated).
Anyway, it looks like we're having a great time and later we go for a walk. After that I walk her home and the night ends, and she doesn't give me a kiss. But she tried to play it off as hard to get or something, and giggled about it. So I'm like okay whatever. Later that night we talk for a bit and while we're just randomly chatting, she then tells me that she doesn't think she's interested in dating me. I ask why, and she says that she doesn't want to get into it at the moment. Wtf? So I'm pretty confused and I tell her that I have some stuff I need to do and hang up. So I'm a little annoyed as you could imagine and also very confused. But here's the weird thing: she still texted me several times after wards and has been texting me all day today and wants to hang out.
What should I do?
Apparently she didn't recognize my profile and I decided to just play along. So we go ahead and meet for coffee yesterday and things seem to be going well until towards the end when she says "you do look familiar. I feel like we spoke before". I say that we probably did but that it looks like we just lost touch for whatever reason. (The truth was a bit more complicated).
Anyway, it looks like we're having a great time and later we go for a walk. After that I walk her home and the night ends, and she doesn't give me a kiss. But she tried to play it off as hard to get or something, and giggled about it. So I'm like okay whatever. Later that night we talk for a bit and while we're just randomly chatting, she then tells me that she doesn't think she's interested in dating me. I ask why, and she says that she doesn't want to get into it at the moment. Wtf? So I'm pretty confused and I tell her that I have some stuff I need to do and hang up. So I'm a little annoyed as you could imagine and also very confused. But here's the weird thing: she still texted me several times after wards and has been texting me all day today and wants to hang out.
What should I do?
Okay, just spoke to her to get her to clarify what the deal is between the two of us. She says she thinks I'm "attractive" but she's not "attracted" to me. She says there's the possibility that things could change between us if we "hang out" more.
Yeah... I think I'm just gonna put her in the "no thanks" pile.
Yeah... I think I'm just gonna put her in the "no thanks" pile.