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[bakerbakes]

First thread, let's go. I figured I'd save it for something special.

About to get my haircut at a salon, patiently waiting my turn. Nature called so I asked for the bathroom and took care of business.

I may have abruptly ended the process of relieving my self. No. I totally did. So now I have a tennis ball sized area of wet piss at my crotch.

Any great ideas to fix this potentially joyous situation I'm about to waltz in to?

No air dryer in the bathroom, already dabbed with paper towels. My only plan is to smile and talk a bunch.

Help me Gaf, you have five minutes before I get called upon to make this walk.

 

[zewone]

wet more of your pants so it looks like you don't know how to wash your hands. once you get the cape draped around you, you'll be fine.

 

[zeemumu]

Throw a blanket on it!

 

[DasFool]

Dump water all over your pants and say you fell in the toilet.

 

[Enter the Dragon Punch]

haha you're gonna reek like piss no matter how much you dry it

how do you mess up pissing

 

[BewareTheBatsie]

Splash some water onto your pants so it kind of looks more like you messed up washing your hands and didn't piss yourself? Or hell, just bare it and head straight in. Or try and cover it until they put the cover-up thing around you.

If you have a jacket or jumper, tie it around your waist.

 

[see5harp]

I would just empty the paper towel dispenser, splash a ton of water on your crotch and then as you are walking out "dry your hands" all over your crotch area and say "damn you are all out of paper towels" loud enough for your hair dresser to hear.

EDIT: this might actually be a waste of paper towels. So if you are conscious of those types of things, just wear your pants backwards.

 

[Deleted member 102362]

Just tell them "I got so excited about getting a haircut I pissed myself."

 

[torre_avenue]

Go home.

Change.

Reschedule.

Skip explaining to your barber why you smell like piss and why your crotch is wet.

Alternately, splash a lot of water on your pants and break a faucet.

 

[bakerbakes]

I'm gunning for that cape. Hopefully she doesn't want to wash my hair first. It's fresh and clean and not needed. But a real awkward wildcard right now.

 

[Grym]

Remove your pants before going out. Much less embarrassing that way

 

[El Topo]

Why the fuck do you people make such threads? What in the world could you possible expect us to say? I feel sorry for whoever has to do your haircut.

 

[Bare Grills]

Tell them peeing your pants is cool and you ain't cool unless you pee your pants.

 

[CraigerGamer]

put your pants on backwards and just don't turn around.

 

[HiiiLife]

Your barber gonna fuck your shit up now

 

[blame space]

did anyone else read this as a command

 

[ctfg23]

Use the sink to get your pants completely wet so the piss spot doesn't stand out.

 

[bakerbakes]

Go home.

Change.

Reschedule.

Skip explaining to your barber why you smell like piss and why your crotch is wet.

Alternately, splash a lot of water on your pants and break a faucet.

Not an option. It's been too long. Perhaps I did get too excited about the haircut. Gotta get rid of this winter hat, it's too nice out.

 

[Pyccko]

tell them you were attacked by a piss bandit

 

[robotzombie]

OP do you happen to go to school with the son of a millionaire who is much older than you and can vouch for your coolness?

 

[hydrophilic attack]

I piss on the bottom of my pants all the time. I've never noticed a smell.

 

[HarryDemeanor]

Act like a champ with piss on your pants.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

Buy a coke and pour some of that on top of you and your pants.

 

[Sanjuro]

Pour beer onto the urine spot.

 

[RK9039]

Just take your pants off.

 

[Fox318]

take pants off and wave them around and continue to use toilet paper to soak up water.

 

[AngryMoth]

Tennis ball size? That seems like it would smell, I'd probably make an excuse to leave and make another appointment tbh...

 

[impact]

I piss on the bottom of my pants all the time. I've never noticed a smell.

lmao

 

[see5harp]

Honestly, I don't understand why everyone is saying he's gonna reek of piss. It's not like he's holding a puddle of piss in his hands.

 

[akira28]

hm...clean yourself, animale. soap and water..then use a wad of paper towels and also place a wad on the other side, and use intense compression to soak up and force as much of the water out of your pants. then use a different, new wad to soak up excess, and press the hell out of it.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

Just roll with it.

Lock eyes with the barber as you walk up, and don't break eye contact the entire time. Continue to stare at him/her through the reflection in the mirror, and walk out of the place backwards. Then....never go back.

 

[giga]

Splash water all over yourself including your torso and say the sink faucet malfunctioned and you tried to fix it or turn it off.

 

[PAULINK]

post on gaf so we can laugh at you

 

[Large Professor]

Climb out of the window.

 

[Deleted member 102362]

did anyone else read this as a command

Five minutes are up, did you do what he told you to do?

 

[ItIsOkBro]

You have one shot at this.

Walk out of bathroom

Quickly, start stumbling and falling like you tripped

Stumble over to a haircutting station

Knock over the sanitizing solution onto your crotch

Play it off cool

 

[RangerBAD]

Just say you got water from washing your hands on it. Actually, how about not bringing attention to it at all.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

Alternatively

 

[BinaryPork2737]

Cover the stain with your shirt. You may have to stretch the shirt to accomplish this. At least they won't see the piss stain.

 

[| Praxis |]

Own it.

Just waltz out of there and say "yep, that's piss alright"

 

[see5harp]

I would actually crack the door open while still sitting on the toilet, stick your head out and ask your hair dresser for a magazine. Spend another 15 minutes in there and when you're done you now can block the mark with a magazine. It will probably be pretty dry at that point as well.

 

[Red Liquorice]

Look out for "urgh.... just had to cut some guys hair who had pissed himself" somewhere on social media.

 

[uncredited male]

Suck out the urine.

 

[Key789]

Shit yourself so no one notices the piss. Problem solved

 

[Machine]

 

[Tarkus]

wet more of your pants so it looks like you don't know how to wash your hands. once you get the cape draped around you, you'll be fine.

This is it. Make sure you toss some more water on your crotch with a splash pattern. Come out with your hands soaking and slinging water like a slob. Tell them their sink has a lot of pressure.

 

[Lulubop]

Just tell youe barber you're a big peepee pants who can't use the potty properly

 

[SeroTyler]

Family emergency, got to go, reschedule, don't pee.

 

[akira28]

Suck out the urine.

oh my god, how desperate are you? are those tears? why have you been crying in the dark?

 

[213372bu]

did anyone else read this as a command

I thought this was someone's creepy fetishes.

Turns out it's just as bad.