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[beje]

This is one recipe I always tell to the cooking impaired:

- Peel and cut some carrots
- Cut some broccoli
- Cut some peepers
- Pick a couple small potatos
- Put in dish
- Add a little salt and peeper
- Add a little olive or sunflower oil over it
- Cover with microwave lid -> http://www.encantesonline.com/resources/Lote1_252.jpg or plastic foil with some holes poked through it with a fork
- Microwave for 5 minutes
- ????
- Profit!

Really, if you can't even make this you fail at life.

- No excuses for "I don't like cleaning" -> you only use a dish and a knife
- No excuses for "It's complicated" -> it's not, as it involves the same basic skills than opening a box, cutting through the plastic and putting whatever crap comes inside in the microwave.
- No excuses for "omg peeling stuff" -> I bet you can find already peeled carrots at the supermarket
- No excuses for "I don't have time" -> 10 fucking minutes

 

[sankt-Antonio]

in my life i always had a) a mother or b) a girlfriend to cook for me...
i cant do shit in the kitchen

i must come of as the biggest macho ever, but my mother loves cooking for me and talk to me while i eat and so does my gf...

i would be fucked without a gf ...

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

I made a easy as casserole the other day, just got some lamb shanks put them in the oven for some browning. Cut up 6 big tomatoes, some potatoes and chucked em in with the shanks, seasoning and some herbs, foil over the top 1 1/2-2 hours and it just melts of the bone. Then the left over stuff in the pan you eat on toast in the morning, tastes sooooo fucking good, tomatoes just melt to pulp, potatoes nice and soft.

Could put carrots and other stuff in it but meh.

 

[Pterion]

Can't cook for shit. If the girl can't cook, that's a major deal-breaker. No way I'll still eat shitty food at home when I'm 40. No way. Couldn't care less if it makes me an old-fashioned douche. There are some things in life I feel I deserve.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

http://www.cheeseandburger.com/

Learn how to make the best burgers ever.

 

[karasu]

Why do you have to have an opinion who can't cook?

 

[jorma]

Why do you have to have an opinion who can't cook?

Because my opinions are way too awesome for any sort of manual labor.

 

[Pristine_Condition]

in my life i always had a) a mother or b) a girlfriend to cook for me...
i cant do shit in the kitchen

i must come of as the biggest macho ever, but my mother loves cooking for me and talk to me while i eat and so does my gf...

i would be fucked without a gf ...

There's nothing macho about not being able to cook, IMO.

 

[zerokoolpsx]

Can't cook either, but survived with least minimal effort on food preparation.

 

[ryan-ts]

There's nothing macho about not being able to cook, IMO.

Yeah there is, dude is a badass so he gets women to cook for him. Pretty easy to figure out.

BTW anyone who thinks following some instructions online is cooking, you can suck my dick. Cooking is all about experimentation and estimations. Making your own recipes is what it's really about, mixing things and trying over and over until you find that perfect balance to make a delicious meal. There's nothing wrong with following some recipe someone else made but it's not truly cooking.

 

[SFA_AOK]

It's not just talent or skill, it's confidence. If you get to a certain age and you can't cook, you won't have much confidence in your cooking, and for a lot of people that means they don't want to do it. Plus there are many ways to sap your confidence - get a recipe that you're told is really easy to follow, produce something that doesn't taste that great, and if your confidence is still low, you'll think "to hell with this".

I also reject the "if you can read, you can cook" line of argument - if you can read, you can /attempt/ to cook. I've tried many recipes that either contradict themselves, are ambiguous, one recipe I tried listed ingredients but never mentioned them in the recipe steps! You'd be surprised how much your brain is filling in and what seems straightforward to you, is not so for someone else. For example, I could bake a cake if someone gave me the step by step instructions; but you could simply give a chef the single instruction of "bake a cake" and that'd be enough to get the job done.

I'd like to add there are many recipes I've followed with great success and I actually like cooking, but I can understand why people don't like to do it - not that I'd suggest they shouldn't try! I didn't start learning to cook until my early 20's, my parents were horrible cooks, it was only because I have no shame and was in a shared kitchen and I asked one of my flat mates to teach me some recipes that I picked it up.

 

[Booshman]

I love cooking, but living in a university hall makes it difficult when your kitchen is disgusting and tiny. I think a lot of people aren't exposed to cooking by family and then you become acustomed to eating microwaved packaged meals the whole time and all the other pre-processed foods.

Anyway, I'll throw another simple and delicious recipe out there for people: Onion soup

Just take a couple of onions, cut them into small-ish pieces, add a tablespoon of olive oil, sauté them in a saucepan over a medium heat until they are browned. To the pan add 1.5 pints of water and two chicken stock cubes. Let the whole thing simmer until its delicious.

It's so simple and really really tasty. To get even more flavour out of it, get some gruyere cheese, and either grate it over your soup, or grill it on top of some bread.

Cooking for your girlfriend is one of the most romantic things you can do, so investing even a tiny bit of effort in it could reap some great rewards

 

[KingGondo]

BTW anyone who thinks following some instructions online is cooking, you can suck my dick. Cooking is all about experimentation and estimations. Making your own recipes is what it's really about, mixing things and trying over and over until you find that perfect balance to make a delicious meal. There's nothing wrong with following some recipe someone else made but it's not truly cooking.

I consider cooking to be anything where you have to prep fresh ingredients, combine them with herbs/seasoning, and cook them a certain way to get a certain result. That's not to say that some experimentation doesn't happen even when following a recipe, but that's the whole point of recipes--to get a certain desired result. To say that following a recipe is "not truly cooking" is asinine.

And besides, if it's a really complex recipe, to experiment would be to disrespect the hours of work that the original chef put into formulating that recipe. Nothing wrong with trying new things when you've got some of the basic techniques of cooking down, but don't act like you're somehow superior because you consider "following instructions online" to be a step below trying to invent some shit on your own.

 

[Binabik15]

You probably meant working but:
I bought an electric wok 10 years ago, and it is probably one of my best purchases ever. It's super duper awesome. Everything is so easy and fast to make with one of these.

Yes, I meant working :lol

The myth that you have to have super expensive cooking equipment is truly bullshit. My favourite pan for meat is a 2€ Ikea pan. We have much more expensive ones, but the Ikea one works just great, heats up super fast, big enough to prepare meat for 2-2.5 servings (well, for me), but small enough to be on one of the smaller plates, leaving room on the oven for cooking pasta at the same time.

And practice and confidence (well, and taste buds) is all it takes to prepare something. Learn how to do one of your favourite dishes, but start with an easy one, that means not to many different items that have to be done at the same time or in a timely manner after each other. Remember to add salt, pepper and seasoning. I prefer to throw in a bit of all the spices the dish should have and then add to it little by little, much better than getting the saltyness right and then start with the other spices :lol

Since it´s one of your favourite dishes youll know how it should taste and after maybe five times preparing it you´ll know how long each step will roughly take, the best order of doing things, how many things you can do at once with your current skill and confidence. Congratulations, you can cook! Now that you can cook you only have to increase the amount of dishes you can do and remember: it might not turn out as expected, but you can still cook and as a cook, you´ll just do better next time (or look up another recipe for the same dish and curse the other one to hell).


Something you can´t really screw up (unless you add half a pack of salt or leave the noodles boiling for an hour):

-boil noodles
-put some eggs into a container of your choice, add a bit of salt and pepper (or gound chili), mix it with a fork. A bit of milk can make the egg smoother and depending on the amount of air you mix into it it´ll be puffier. The more bubbles the beaten egg has, the fluffier it´ll be.
-mix the noodles with the egg.
-cut ham into pieces
-heat up a pan with butter/oil in it (I use sunflower oil), you can tell the oil is ready by sticking a wooden spoon into it, if tiny air bubbles come up it´s ready.
-throw in the ham and wait maybe 30 secs, than add the noodle/egg mix
-stir it until the egg is done, i.e solid. Better to be on the safe if you don´t want salmonellae
-eat

It´s really easy to do, I love the dish itself, it has a nice carb and protein load, you can prepare the egg and ham while the noodles are boiling, it doesn´t take a lot of time and has few opportunities to fuck up.

You can get more creative and add peas or corn to the egg mixture, replace/add to the ham with salami, shrimps, cured sausage etc. A really tiny bit of ground cheese can be added to the egg mix.

There´s a kind of peppered sausage I really like and since -like all kinds of sausages- it´s fatty, I put it into the pan while it heats up and the fat coming out of the sausage is enough to skip the butter/oil you´d normally add!

 

[otake]

I can't imagine not being able to cook. It's so easy. I'm Hispanic, it's pretty ingrained in our culture. A person who can't cook is a child to us. Sounds negative but it's kinda true.

 

[MaxSteel]

Listenig to the radio and there was a conversation about people who get by on sandwiches. That got me thinking. How can someone not know how to cook? With the internet these days you don't even need a cook book. It makes me wonder if it goes deeper than just cooking. Can these people simply not follow instructions? Are they just lazy? Or do they just genuinely fail in the kitchen? Does you guys know of anyone who can't cook? Is it a window into another part of their life that is in tatters and always on the verge of being burnt to a crisp or do they live decent lives besides what goes on in the cooking room?

i don't really have the time to cook. i could make the time, but it's not how i choose to spend my time. why spend an hour busting my ass on making a meal when i can order chinese takeout?

 

[otake]

i don't really have the time to cook. i could make the time, but it's not how i choose to spend my time. why spend an hour busting my ass on making a meal when i can order chinese takeout?

I cook in 20 minutes. Not only is it better tasting than microwave shit, it's also more nutritious and cheaper. Tonight I'm going to make chicken breast with boiled asparagus and mashed potatoes. At the most, it's going to take me 25 minutes to make.

 

[VeryGooster]

Can't cook for shit. If the girl can't cook, that's a major deal-breaker. No way I'll still eat shitty food at home when I'm 40. No way. Couldn't care less if it makes me an old-fashioned douche. There are some things in life I feel I deserve.

:lol :lol Good luck with that...

BTW, following a recipe from a web site or a cookbook is still cooking. You are taking ingredients and creating a dish out of them and using some source of heat. The experimenting, creating your own recipes or adding your own signature to existing recipes is the bonus.

I usually follow my own parents' recipes than cookbooks. Everyone should have basic cooking skills. Living off noodles, frozen/microwaveable foods and take-out isn't going to do your health any good in the long run. Plus, like some others have said, if you can whip up a decent meal for a significant other it's a great way to show you're putting in effort for the two of you in one way or another.

As a Hispanic, Adobo makes EVERYTHING better. :lol

 

[otake]

Hispanic-gaf is really coming out in full force in this thread.

 

[MaxSteel]

I cook in 20 minutes. Not only is it better tasting than microwave shit, it's also more nutritious and cheaper. Tonight I'm going to make chicken breast with boiled asparagus and mashed potatoes. At the most, it's going to take me 25 minutes to make.

i used to do chicken breast and green beans a lot. next time i order fresh direct, maybe i'll get two chicken breasts.

the thing is, i live in nyc, so

- grocery shopping is a hassle - there's either a huge line at trader joe's, but it's cheap - or you can go to food emporium, which is expensive but it's like a 10 minute walk back to the apt carrying the groceries
- also, 'cause of New York, no dish-washer - so clean up is a hassle and i hate doing dishes

and, this is unrelated to where i live, but i come home from work and then i work my second job at night from my apt - so it's just not worth it to me to spend the time cooking when i have other stuff to do at night. if i came home from work and just chilled out and played videogames like the old days, then i'd be more inclined to cook

the above is why i pretty much only do trader joes microwavable meals and frozen pizzas and delivery

 

[eznark]

Listenig to the radio and there was a conversation about people who get by on sandwiches. That got me thinking. How can someone not know how to cook? With the internet these days you don't even need a cook book. It makes me wonder if it goes deeper than just cooking. Can these people simply not follow instructions? Are they just lazy? Or do they just genuinely fail in the kitchen? Does you guys know of anyone who can't cook? Is it a window into another part of their life that is in tatters and always on the verge of being burnt to a crisp or do they live decent lives besides what goes on in the cooking room?

The cooking room?

 

[LosDaddie]

I can cook, but my wife does most of the cooking in our house.

 

[MaxSteel]

This is one recipe I always tell to the cooking impaired:

- Peel and cut some carrots
- Cut some broccoli
- Cut some peepers
- Pick a couple small potatos
- Put in dish
- Add a little salt and peeper
- Add a little olive or sunflower oil over it
- Cover with microwave lid -> http://www.encantesonline.com/resources/Lote1_252.jpg or plastic foil with some holes poked through it with a fork
- Microwave for 5 minutes
- ????
- Profit!

Really, if you can't even make this you fail at life.

- No excuses for "I don't like cleaning" -> you only use a dish and a knife
- No excuses for "It's complicated" -> it's not, as it involves the same basic skills than opening a box, cutting through the plastic and putting whatever crap comes inside in the microwave.
- No excuses for "omg peeling stuff" -> I bet you can find already peeled carrots at the supermarket
- No excuses for "I don't have time" -> 10 fucking minutes

first of all, that sounds disgusting

second of all - i COULD make that, but why would i want to when there are easier, tastier options?

 

[Boonoo]

The myth that you have to have super expensive cooking equipment is truly bullshit. My favourite pan for meat is a 2€ Ikea pan. We have much more expensive ones, but the Ikea one works just great, heats up super fast, big enough to prepare meat for 2-2.5 servings (well, for me), but small enough to be on one of the smaller plates, leaving room on the oven for cooking pasta at the same time.

I'm with you on not needing super expensive stuff, but good cookware does make things go much smoother. I love my cast iron skillets and good enamel pots.

i put ketchup on steak. am i doing it wrong? nothing like a 1 pound cut prime rib with ketchup and horseradish for dipping. *drool* my dad used to yell at me for "ruining" steak. OH WELL.

Well I mean that you're not offending the cows or the steakness of the steak or anything, but if you're deliberately hiding the flavor you spend 10 or 15 bucks a pound on you're at the least not spending your money well when you could buy a cheaper cut and get the same effect.

After eating over half your steak your taste buds may become used to the flavor, bored even. At that point it makes good sense to use additional spices. The same with sushi. You can be eating the greatest tuna in the world but after a dozen bites your taste buds need a little extra.

I suppose this makes sense if you're eating nothing but steak, but there tend to be side dishes and beverages and whatnot that break of the rhythm. Or you could buy smaller steaks.

 

[kitchenmotors]

Every time I see this thread I mistakenly read cook for cock.

I can't imagine not being able to cook. It's so easy. I'm Hispanic, it's pretty ingrained in our culture. A person who can't cook is a child to us. Sounds negative but it's kinda true.

I'm part Hispanic, but I'm not very big on the culture or the food. I don't even speak Spanish. :lol I wonder what other Hispanics think of me.

I prefer my Greek heritage as far as food goes.

 

[lunarworks]

I can cook about 5 dishes really well, but I'm sure I could make more if I had the initiative to do so.

 

[numble]

i used to do chicken breast and green beans a lot. next time i order fresh direct, maybe i'll get two chicken breasts.

the thing is, i live in nyc, so

- grocery shopping is a hassle - there's either a huge line at trader joe's, but it's cheap - or you can go to food emporium, which is expensive but it's like a 10 minute walk back to the apt carrying the groceries

NYC has some extremely cheap grocers if you know where to go for the stuff. The big name supermarkets always seem to be 2-5x expensive.

 

[CENOBITE]

i don't get the notion of looking down on someone who can't cook. it's a skill to be learned just like anything else.

it's a BASIC SKILL. You don't have to know how to swim or drive a car, but even those people should know how to cook.

My girlfriend has a Ph.D in biology and yet can't cook. I tell her "Its simple. FOLLOW the directions, do the exact measurements and set the TIMER." ... and yet she still forgets to set the timer EVERY time.

 

[beje]

second of all - i COULD make that, but why would i want to when there are easier, tastier options?

Because easier and tastier options come with 10 times as much sugar, salt, fat and price tag.

 

[Always-honest]

Can't Cook?... WON'T cook.
everybody can cook something....

basicly: lazy, spoiled, insecure..

 

[beelzebozo]

to (approximately) quote robert rodriguez, "not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck."

 

[MaxSteel]

Because easier and tastier options come with 10 times as much sugar, salt, fat and price tag.

i don't particularly worry about sugar, salt, and fat - i'm an unhealthy person, i've accepted that. it will probably bite me in the ass one day. c'est la vie.

and for me, the price tag is worth the convenience.

people sure do get riled up about OTHER PEOPLE'S cooking and eating habits.

 

[MaxSteel]

to (approximately) quote robert rodriguez, "not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck."

he's mexican - it's a much larger part of their culture.

some cultures would say not knowing how to fight is like not not knowing how to fuck.

personally - i think not knowing how to cook is just not knowing how to cook. and not knowing how to fuck is just not knowing how to fuck.

this isn't like not knowing how to wipe your ass or brush your teeth - cooking is a skill that you have to learn through teaching and/or through practice. if you don't practice, how are you going to learn?

 

[OmniGamer]

Put me in the "How can you not know how to at least cook the basics for yourself" crowd...but I try to realize that one's upbringing and surroundings has a lot to do with it.

For me, first and foremost, it's just a basic matter of self-sufficiency. Do I eat fast food? Yeah. Do I eat chinese take out? Yeah. Do I eat frozen microwave dishes? Yeah. (all of the above, not so much now due to my current fitness/weight loss goals). But do I RELY on any of those as my sole means of eating a meal? Absolutely not.

The sheer fact that I like to eat is what first made me curious about cooking. The sheer act of tasting made me curious to learn what goes with what, or hell, think outside the box and try out unconventional flavor combinations.

Growing up, my mom always cooked...she certainly didn't love it all the time, but she did it. So for me, the concept of a home cooked meal was always "normal", and eating out/ordering in was always a "treat".

I think most people's "reactions" to those who say they can't cook at all stems from the fact that, in today's day and age, there's so many ways to learn how to fix something. I remember as a kid, there was the occasional "Yan Can Cook" or "Great Chefs" or "The Frugal Gourmet" cooking show on PBS or something...now there's an entire channel, Food Network, dedicated to food and cooking. There's the internet, there's youtube, there's "an app for that"...so many options, and for so many different skill levels. You can be as grand or as simple as you'd like.

There's also a wealth of "helpers" and shortcuts out there...all kinds of seasonings, spices, seasoning mixes, marinades, sauces, shredded cheeses, etc...not to mention lots of frozen options as well. My favorite being the frozen stir-fry peppers...

Cooking is great...it arouses all of the senses...the sizzle in the pan, the colors of the food, the aroma filling the kitchen, etc, it can be relaxing, you get that primal satisfaction of eating something you made, and if other people like it as well, it can boost your ego too ;-)

But yeah...F**k dishes...I absolutely hate washing dishes!!!

 

[Tim the Wiz]

I don't cook unless I have to. But when I do, I usually make out fine, although I do rely on recipes outside of a handful of dishes.

 

[otake]

I can agree with Robert Rodriguez's statement.

There is nothing better than cooking rice and beans with skirt stake and tostones, serving it to your significant other with wine and proceeding to fulfill your sexual fantasies. Being a man who can cook has worked out really well for me.

 

[djtiesto]

I usually help my mom with cooking and cleaning up (we're Italian so cooking is in our blood), though I have become quite decent at grilling and stir-frying myself. My brother used to do a lot of the grilling for a while, but when he left for school, I got stuck with it. Had no idea what to do and I burnt everything It really takes practice, like everything else.

I have a lot of fun experimenting with different marinades and seasonings - lamb chops being my absolute favorite to cook. Some of the stuff I make are: chick-peas/onions, cucumber salad, carmelized apples, broccoli, carrots and honey. Lots of veggies. Unfortunately, my mom doesn't eat meat and most of the other people that I know that I could cook for, aren't a fan of the excessive seasoning and spice I like in my meals. I'd be much more motivated to do more if more people would try out my stuff.

One thing I never grasped was how to cook rice. It always comes out soggy when I attempt it.

 

[agrajag]

Anyone can learn to cook.

 

[agrajag]

nm

 

[VeryGooster]

Anyone can cook.

Fixed!

 

[MaxSteel]

NYC has some extremely cheap grocers if you know where to go for the stuff. The big name supermarkets always seem to be 2-5x expensive.

exactly my point - i don't have the time or the motivation to seek out the cheap grocers. i prefer ease.

 

[otake]

exactly my point - i don't have the time or the motivation to seek out the cheap grocers. i prefer ease.

Even Posh groceries can be cheaper than eating out every day.

 

[GatorBait]

I think the distinction needs to be made from "cooking" and "preparing" a meal for yourself. I see some posters in this thread indirectly bringing this point up. If you want to define "cooking" as crafting your own dishes, experimenting with different ingredients, and adding together many different variables to form a single dish, then I can understand why some people can't "cook". Not everyone has the passion for crafting together their own dishes like a chef.

However, nobody should be unable to "prepare" decent meals for themselves. Putting together a decent meal of a meat, carb, and vegetable is very easy. Grilling a steak and cooking up some good pasta is not that much different from boiling hot dogs and cooking ramen. I just find it hard to believe people when they say they can't even prepare themselves a decent meal and have to rely on prepackaged, store-bought meals or fast food/take-out.

I like to cook for myself, but I don't necessarily like to make cooking my meals into a lengthy, involved process. I like to keep things simple, easy, and nutritious. It takes little time and effort to throw some meat on the grill, rice in the boiler, and sautee some veggies on the stove top. Much better than relying on something prepackaged, and the increase in time/difficulty is negligible. And for single guys who are time-strapped: increase the portion sizes while you are cooking and you suddenly have enough food for multiple meals during the week! No need to cook every single night.

 

[Alucrid]

Hmm. I can cook okay, I mean, preparing basic dishes. Cooking pasta, rice, probably grilling as well. I do hope to improve my skills though so I'm probably going to be asking IronGAF about useful recipes during the summer so I can practice. Luckily my moms a great cook so I've been exposed to good food, not that processed crap. (Although I have had it.)

 

[MaxSteel]

Even Posh groceries can be cheaper than eating out every day.

they definitely are - but like i said, i prefer ease.

it's like my laundry - i send it out, it gets washed, it comes back warm and folded. i like that. so i'll pay $50 for that service.

sure, i could walk down the block and use a self-service machine for $10 bucks. but i'll pay for the ease.

 

[agrajag]

I think the distinction needs to be made from "cooking" and "preparing" a meal for yourself. I see some posters in this thread indirectly bringing this point up. If you want to define "cooking" as crafting your own dishes, experimenting with different ingredients, and adding together many different variables to form a single dish, then I can understand why some people can't "cook". Not everyone has the passion for crafting together their own dishes like a chef.

However, nobody should be unable to "prepare" decent meals for themselves. Putting together a decent meal of a meat, carb, and vegetable is very easy. Grilling a steak and cooking up some good pasta is not that much different from boiling hot dogs and cooking ramen. I just find it hard to believe people when they say they can't even prepare themselves a decent meal and have to rely on prepackaged, store-bought meals or fast food/take-out.

Your post is completely incorrect. Cooking is simply heat-treating food items. it has nothing to do with "being a chef." A cook in a restaurant doesn't craft his own dishes, he follows the recipe that his boss showed him with a mechanical precision. They're called cooks, not food preparers.

 

[Rickard]

it's like my laundry - i send it out, it gets washed, it comes back warm and folded. i like that. so i'll pay $50 for that service.

Do you actually do this?

 

[Alucrid]

they definitely are - but like i said, i prefer ease.

it's like my laundry - i send it out, it gets washed, it comes back warm and folded. i like that. so i'll pay $50 for that service.

sure, i could walk down the block and use a self-service machine for $10 bucks. but i'll pay for the ease.

Huh? I don't trust anyone with my laundry, I even hate how my mom used to fold it. :lol

Ugh, that Jamie Oliver stuff makes me sick. Parents need to get their kids to learn to appreciate good food.

 

[numble]

exactly my point - i don't have the time or the motivation to seek out the cheap grocers. i prefer ease.

I've only lived here one year, it was pretty quick to find the cheap places--maybe one weekend? If you base your prices of things on Fresh Direct prices, things are going to seem really expensive pretty fast. But even going to the closest supermarket, you can get 2-3 days worth of meals for $3-5 worth of groceries, which is like the price of one meal's tip. Saving money this way can mean more neat gadgets to play with or money to be spent on other things, in addition to cultivating skills for a great date activity.

 

[MaxSteel]

Do you actually do this?

yeah.