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[radiantdreamer]

Why would a car manufacturer put the arrow pointing to the side the gas tank is not on?

You never know. Maybe back then they had an arrow there that meant something else other than gas cap direction. And you won't know the answer unless you ask. I think the idea of "There are no stupid questions" more refers to that no matter what, you will get an answer, and you will learn something from it.

 

[DaCocoBrova]

I dunno man... I've had girlfriends ask questions so stupid that I wanted to break up with them then and there and not bother answering it.

 

[tekumseh]

Got a sunburn? Take ibuprofen. It works as a pain reliever and it reduces inflammation to take away the redness.

Also, keep aloe leaves in your refrigerator during the summer. You should be able to find them in the produce section of any reputable large grocery store. Then, if you get a burn, you can peel one of those open and use the cold pulp inside to relieve even the worst of pain from a burn!

 

[radiantdreamer]

I dunno man... I've had girlfriends ask questions so stupid that I wanted to break up with them then and there and not bother answering it.

That's fine. You wanting to break up with them isn't because they asked a stupid question. It's more like they didn't know the answer to what seems obvious to you.

You're breaking up with them because of their intellect, and not the question itself.

(see? I'm taking GAF advice! I'm using a winky!)

 

[Particle Physicist]

I dunno man... I've had girlfriends ask questions so stupid that I wanted to break up with them then and there and not bother answering it.

:lol same here!

 

[Justin Bailey]

-If you give someone 20 dollars and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

-Never underestimate the power of denial.

-Be patient.

 

[Cowie]

-If you give someone 20 dollars and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

-Never underestimate the power of denial.

-Be patient.

I really like that.

 

[Buttchin]

Why are you ruining the joke with facts?


But by then the thread would be updated with new posts.

but but but i find it fun to ruin things (especially jokes) using facts..

 

[Invisible_Insane]

Protip:

 

[parrotbeak]

Why would a car manufacturer put the arrow pointing to the side the gas tank is not on?

The nozzle on the side of the pump could mean that's the side the tank is on or it could mean that's the side of the gas pump you should pull up to. Opposite sides.

 

[Zoe]

Protip:

http://www.questionablecontent.net/images/memessmall.png[/img]

If we're going to be posting graphs...

I believe there's also a lesser known one for "steep learning curve," but I couldn't find it
Here's the best I can do: http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/steep.html

 

[Flo_Evans]

The gas cap is usually on the drivers side from the cars country of origin. Euro/japanese cars = right side. American = left side.

Allot of newer japanese cars though are made with it on the left side now.

 

[SapientWolf]

You can buy condoms at the dollar store, but doooon't buy condoms at the dollar store.

 

[Nore]

There's no such thing as a stupid question is simply not true.

Proof:

LOL, hey! There's nothing wrong with a little clarity.

 

[Skiptastic]

The gas cap is usually on the drivers side from the cars country of origin. Euro/japanese cars = right side. American = left side.

Most cars have a tiny triangle on the gas gauge that will point to the side of the gas cap.

A car ashtray can be an excellent place to store spare change for a non-smoker. (Seriously, had a car for three years, got into an accident, went looking for new car, dealer told me that, it was like my world was turned upside down.)

 

[Souldriver]

More protips, now for dealing with women:

- Women do not like qualities, merits or personal behaviour, women likes or dislikes persons. Changing your behaviour, doing favours or changing habits it is not going to make a women like you more or less than she already did. It is not about sending flowers, it is that you are not the type of person that sends flowers.

- If a women accuse you of something that you have not done, get offended instead of trying to appease or calm her, if you do the previous actions will be interpretatedas guilty.

- There are men that women tends to like or dislike more for no apparent or rational reason. This has been mistified and romantized to hell and back, but do not be decieved: it is, simply put, hormonal. Humans rather to do not understand it and keep treating it as a "mystery" because women do not want to admit it, while men do not want to face it. It is not a mystery, it is just one of the many unfair things of life, just deal with it.

- The art of seduction is the art of convincing your desired one that you are the type of person that she likes instead of the one that you are. The true masters not only are they able to pull it off, but also to convince them that what they were searching on the first place was your true type of person instead.

- Women are as sex driven as men are, they just do not exteriorize nor admit it as much because of the preassure of society.

Don't these two directly contradict each other. If you're not someones type, but you try to convince her that you are (latter tip), it means you're changing your behaviour trying to attract her, which according to your first tip doesn't work.

 

[ten5ive9ine]

I believe there's also a lesser known one for "steep learning curve," but I couldn't find it
Here's the best I can do: http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/steep.html

Wait, what?
This guy is bitching about the phrase while explaining exactly what it is. A steep learning curve implies it is something that is easy to pick up, but hard to master. Where is the problem?

 

[Big Chief Crazy Cone]

women = time x money
time = money
women = money^2
money = root(evil)
money^2 = evil
:: women = evil

- Mayonnaise is really good at treating jellyfish stings.
- Everything said about vinegar so far is true.
- Happiness is an activity, not a state or reward.
- Accept and revel in the fact that there are some questions humans may never be able to answer.

 

[radiantdreamer]

Don't these two directly contradict each other. If you're not someones type, but you try to convince her that you are (latter tip), it means you're changing your behaviour trying to attract her, which according to your first tip doesn't work.

There is a difference between seducing a woman, and trying to change who you are. I think the first statement refers to your true self, your core, your being. It's more advice for the long term.

The second one is definitely an act during courtship.

Protip: The difference between having sex and making love.

When having sex, both people are taking. When making love, both people are giving.

 

[Bagels]

-When people (especially women) come to you with problems, they almost never want solutions. They just want you to listen and empathize. You'll hear this again and again (especially when it comes to dealing with women), but the male urge to offer solutions is so overpowering that you'll always do the wrong thing and offer advice. The day you learn to stop doing this and learn to just listen and empathize is the day your relations with the fairer sex improve 10-fold.

-If you're feeling nauseous, hold an open bottle of rubbing alcohol a foot or two from your nose (don't just huff it), so that you can smell it, but it's not overpowering. This will calm your stomach down and keep you from puking. I don't know why it works, but it does.

 

[Zoe]

Wait, what?
This guy is bitching about the phrase while explaining exactly what it is. A steep learning curve implies it is something that is easy to pick up, but hard to master. Where is the problem?

Most people use the term to indicate that something is hard to pick up when instead they should be saying that the learning curve is "shallow."

 

[toxicgonzo]

-When people (especially women) come to you with problems, they almost never want solutions. They just want you to listen and empathize. You'll hear this again and again (especially when it comes to dealing with women), but the male urge to offer solutions is so overpowering that you'll always do the wrong thing and offer advice. The day you learn to stop doing this and learn to just listen and empathize is the day your relations with the fairer sex improve 10-fold.

This is true.

-If you're feeling nauseous, hold an open bottle of rubbing alcohol a foot or two from your nose (don't just huff it), so that you can smell it, but it's not overpowering. This will calm your stomach down and keep you from puking. I don't know why it works, but it does.

I don't think that will always work. In what circumstances did it work for you? Although, many times puking is healthy for you since it helps to get rid of bad stuff

 

[radiantdreamer]

-When people (especially women) come to you with problems, they almost never want solutions. They just want you to listen and empathize. You'll hear this again and again (especially when it comes to dealing with women), but the male urge to offer solutions is so overpowering that you'll always do the wrong thing and offer advice. The day you learn to stop doing this and learn to just listen and empathize is the day your relations with the fairer sex improve 10-fold.

This is 100% true, and I know it is true. However, I have yet to master it.

 

[parrotbeak]

When parking your car, put your car into neutral, set the parking brake, release the foot brake, and then put the car into park. When you release the foot brake, the car settles. Let the parking brake take that weight to save wear on the transmission.

 

[smoothj]

A spouse's heart is more powerful than their brain.

wow... you just blew my mind man....

 

[Darkpen]

Always wear a condom.

 

[Ogni-XR21]

The gas cap is usually on the drivers side from the cars country of origin. Euro/japanese cars = right side. American = left side.

Allot of newer japanese cars though are made with it on the left side now.

Pro tip for survival, the UK is one of the very few countries in Europe where cars drive on the left side...

 

[Rewrite]

You spend most of your life as an adult than a kid so enjoy your youth.

 

[CaptainCamerica]

"Enjoy every sandwich"

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people"

 

[Captain Awesome and OLD]

The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. When you hate someone, it means that you still care (for whatever reason).

For years I thought I was the only person who had figured that shit out. Arrogant, I know, but I'm really happy to see other people grasping it. Love/Hate are just two aspects of a greater whole- Passion. the opposite of Passion is Apathy.

"The world is simple. It's miserable, solid all the way through. But if you could fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder, and then you... then you got to see something really special."

"Never show anyone. They'll beg you and they'll flatter you for the secret, but as soon as you give it up... you'll be nothing to them. "

"The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything. "

"Nothing is impossible, Mr. Angier. What you want is simply expensive. "

"You're familiar with the phrase "man's reach exceeds his grasp"? It's a lie: man's grasp exceeds his nerve. "

"Society tolerates only one change at a time. "

"Obsession is a young man's game."

"Leonard, always get a receipt. "

"Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts."

"We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are."

"Someone has to pay, Lenny. Somebody always pays. "

I approve wholeheartedly of your boner for Nolan.

Pro Tips-

Everyone says nice guys finish last, but that's bullshit. Weak guys finish last. Be nice, but be strong.

Never chicken or pussy out just because something is scary. Remember, we miss 100% of the shots we don't take.

If you make substantial improvements to your life, don't expect your friends to understand.

A bad friend is poison to your spirit. Surround yourself with people who are uplifting to you.

Update your passport. You don't want to be the person who gets fucked and left home while a spontaneous trip is going down and you can't attend.

Call your cell phone company and see if there's a plan you can be on that more closely fits your usage patterns. Most people spend more than they need to for features they never, ever use.

Get a magazine subscription to a magazine that covers a topic you know absolutely nothing about. It will make you a more well-rounded person.

Bury the fucking hatchet. Life is too short to be bitter.

You can't teach another person anything, you can only help them discover the truth inside themselves.

Don't be surprised when your first love doesn't pan out. These things take practice.

If you want to know if your significant other is cheating, look for these three signs:

• Constant flaking
• You catch them in lies
• You hear it from other people

If these three line up, bail.

 

[althe13]

For years I thought I was the only person who had figured that shit out. Arrogant, I know, but I'm really happy to see other people grasping it. Love/Hate are just two aspects of a greater whole- Passion. the opposite of Passion is Apathy.



I approve wholeheartedly of your boner for Nolan.

Pro Tips-

Everyone says nice guys finish last, but that's bullshit. Weak guys finish last. Be nice, but be strong.

Never chicken or pussy out just because something is scary. Remember, we miss 100% of the shots we don't take.

If you make substantial improvements to your life, don't expect your friends to understand.

A bad friend is poison to your spirit. Surround yourself with people who are uplifting to you.

Update your passport. You don't want to be the person who gets fucked and left home while a spontaneous trip is going down and you can't attend.

Call your cell phone company and see if there's a plan you can be on that more closely fits your usage patterns. Most people spend more than they need to for features they never, ever use.

Get a magazine subscription to a magazine that covers a topic you know absolutely nothing about. It will make you a more well-rounded person.

Bury the fucking hatchet. Life is too short to be bitter.

You can't teach another person anything, you can only help them discover the truth inside themselves.

Don't be surprised when your first love doesn't pan out. These things take practice.

If you want to know if your significant other is cheating, look for these three signs:

• Constant flaking
• You catch them in lies
• You hear it from other people

If these three line up, bail.

some of this stuff is goood.

 

[derder]

Protip: If you have a low car and its going to be towed, the towing company doesn't care how much damage it does to your front bumper in getting it onto their truck.

Its going to cost me more to fix what the towing company did than it cost to buy a new starter.

 

[Wii too]

One more:

A woman's worst enemy are her hormones. A man's is his indifference.

 

[Ikael]

- Women do not like qualities, merits or personal behaviour, women likes or dislikes persons. Changing your behaviour, doing favours or changing habits it is not going to make a women like you more or less than she already did. It is not about sending flowers, it is that you are not the type of person that sends flowers.

- The art of seduction is the art of convincing your desired one that you are the type of person that she likes instead of the one that you are. The true masters not only are they able to pull it off, but also to convince them that what they were searching on the first place was your true type of person instead.

Don't these two directly contradict each other. If you're not someones type, but you try to convince her that you are (latter tip), it means you're changing your behaviour trying to attract her, which according to your first tip doesn't work.

No, not at all. In order to seduce, you must be an expert actor (or liar, as you wish) and make yourself pass as a different person, it has little to do with real change or objetive facts, it has all to do with perception. Following the example, It is not about delivering flowers 3 times per day, but to do it only once and make yourself look as if you do it everyday for breakfast as a natural, seamless habit. Also, this:

There is a difference between seducing a woman, and trying to change who you are. I think the first statement refers to your true self, your core, your being. It's more advice for the long term.

The second one is definitely an act during courtship.

 

[lsslave]

No, not at all. In order to seduce, you must be an expert actor (or liar, as you wish) and make yourself pass as a different person, it has little to do with real change or objetive facts, it has all to do with perception. Following the example, It is not about delivering flowers 3 times per day, but to do it only once and make yourself look as if you do it everyday for breakfast as a natural, seamless habit.

Seduction is easier than you think it is also, but why bother being someone your not? I mean hell, if your an asshole... assholes have NO problem getting girls

Being a romantic is the worst thing in the world for winning over a girl, then again what do I know, after having a hard time being single I am now just loving focusing on my music and random hookups when I get pent up, no drama and its much cheaper

Edit:
Captain Awesome.. your post is fucking awesome!

 

[Ikael]

Seduction is easier than you think it is also, but why bother being someone your not?

In my opinion, it is not worth of it, either, so just try with as much girls as you can until you find someone that matches you so you do not have to fake anything at all, which is what my first tip was refearing to. Still, other persons might find the effort worth of their time and in some cases the ratio of effort vs reward is good enough to give it a try. In that case then, apply tip number two.

Being a romantic is the worst thing in the world for winning over a girl

That is very, very true. I will never understand why would anyone seek for the advice of the romantics like Espronceda or Bequer when wanting to get a girl. Romantic writters / philosophers / whatever were all miserable people that suffered a big deal because of women and their relationship with them. So why the hell are you listening to advice from people that recogniced and prooven to be completely inept on finding and mantaining love?

 

[VeritasVierge]

In my opinion, it is not worth of it, either, so just try with as much girls as you can until you find someone that matches you so you do not have to fake anything at all, which is what my first tip was refearing to. Still, other persons might find the effort worth of their time and in some cases the ratio of effort vs reward is good enough to give it a try. In that case then, apply tip number two.

See the people who are good at faking it to seduce can't keep it up for the long term. That's when the inevitable happens; the relationship fails. How man times in those relationship threads does someone say "I feel like I don't know this person anymore. They are completely different.". It's because they never knew the person to begin with. Why would anybody want to give that sort of effort a try if he just isn't some playboy looking to get laid and not actually cares about the woman? Anybody that has to fake/lie (man or woman) is a selfish asshole.

 

[lsslave]

In my opinion, it is not worth of it, either, so just try with as much girls as you can until you find someone that matches you so you do not have to fake anything at all, which is what my first tip was refearing to. Still, other persons might find the effort worth of their time and in some cases the ratio of effort vs reward is good enough to give it a try. In that case then, apply tip number two.


That is very, very true. I will never understand why would anyone seek for the advice of the romantics like Espronceda or Bequer when wanting to get a girl. Romantic writters / philosophers / whatever were all miserable people that suffered a big deal because of women and their relationship with them. So why the hell are you listening to advice from people that recogniced and prooven to be completely inept on finding and mantaining love?

We have different ideas for this... I mean its not going to work for the slutty girls at a bar or anything but the kind of girls you get with real romance is easy, the problem is that if you use romance to win over a girl your doing it wrong, she should fall for you for WHO you are not what you can do for her

 

[Dark Octave]

Depend on others as little as you have to.

Somewhere down the road everyone you know will dissapoint you in some way.

 

[lsslave]

Depend on others as little as you have to.

Somewhere down the road everyone you know will dissapoint you in some way.

I disagree I am afraid, everyone will disappoint you maybe but what is life if you can't trust people

 

[besada]

Protip: Do not take protips on women from GAF.

 

[lil smoke]

Depend on others as little as you have to.

This is my life story. It's so true, but there are some downsides to being too independant, cause you will also dissapoint yourself sometimes.

 

[lsslave]

Protip: Do not take protips on women from GAF.

Retort Protip: You won't get laid with an xbox (or any video game) nosering! >.>

lol sorry

 

[Dark Octave]

I disagree I am afraid, everyone will disappoint you maybe but what is life if you can't trust people

Just because your going to die someday shouldn't stop you from living.

The same thing applies here.

 

[besada]

Retort Protip: You won't get laid with an xbox (or any video game) nosering! >.>

lol sorry

That's okay. I've been married for seven years, so getting laid isn't the problem for me that it is for some of you guys.

 

[lsslave]

Just because your going to die someday shouldn't stop you from living.

The same thing applies here.

I agree, but isn't that sort of agreeing with my retort of your comment?

That's okay. I've been married for seven years, so getting laid isn't the problem for me that it is for some of you guys.

I was just teasing you about your tag Its not hard for me to get laid, I just prefer not to bother unless I get really drunk and horny and pick someone up... sex has too much baggage and too much risk and I don't have the time to commit to a relationship right now and wouldn't want to put a girl through the life I must live the next few years

 

[besada]

I was just teasing you about your tag

I know. Seriously, though, my biggest video game related relationship problem is that every time I turn around she's playing CivRev on my 360. I never should have shown it to her.

 

[lil smoke]

I agree, but isn't that sort of agreeing with my retort of your comment?

I think he's saying to expect your trust to be broken sooner or later. Actually, count on it.

It's a part of life, but we live through it regardless.

Be responsible for yourself first.

 

[Dark Octave]

I agree, but isn't that sort of agreeing with my retort of your comment?

Depend on others in moderation. Just expect to be dissapointed someday.

I'm not saying don't ever depend on anyone because you will always be dissapointed.

 

[lsslave]

I think he's saying to expect your trust to be broken sooner or later. Actually, count on it.

It's a part of life, but we live through it regardless.

Be responsible for yourself first.

Thats why I am doing my music, my ex had me pretty much quit on it, now I am getting ready for my first real show... 3 hours of music no opening act

I know. Seriously, though, my biggest video game related relationship problem is that every time I turn around she's playing CivRev on my 360. I never should have shown it to her.

Yeah... I have decided I need to find a girl who doesn't like video games so I can play mine when I actually have time lol

Depend on others in moderation. Just expect to be dissapointed someday.

I'm not saying don't ever depend on anyone because you will always be dissapointed.

Exactly... but your first post made it seem like your 2nd comment there, you can count on someone letting you down but if they can let you down didn't they have to build you up first? Its a 50/50 thing