cliff notes version of shenmue:
OG shenmue - your father is murdered by a triad in a dress over a paperweight. you follow a trail of breadcrumbs that leads nowhere until your sneak fuck housekeeper tells you she's been keeping a letter from you. the letter is not only in chinese but BACKWARDS CHINESE. after discovering how to use a mirror with a chinese lady, you sneak into an antique dealer's warehouse, break their stock, and threaten to fight the owner's son. they only forgive you because you have a sweet jacket.
so anyway it turns out your dad had another paperweight hidden in his creepy basement, but gollum from lord of the rings tries to steal it and gets defeated by a QTE that literally results in a button press in a really metatextual way that i didn't realise until just now. turns out your father's killer is going to hong kong, so you guilt trip your friends and family into giving you the money to chase after him.
in a moment of stunning ignorance you buy a boat ticket from an obvious scam travel agency, and then beat up everybody in the place when the staff member who took your money has disappeared to fuckin' cuba or wherever. you're told to go to an arcade tomorrow (lol) to pick up your boat ticket (lol lol). SURPRISE. it's a trap by gollum. not content with having you trapped in an enclosed space, he produces your boat ticket (which probably cost money to acquire), AND EATS IT.
then, depending on how good you are at the combat, you either have the living shit kicked out of you until you're saved by your dumbass useless friend, or push gollumn's shit in until you just kinda let him run off despite him probably having significant information about where your father's killer is. either way, you go back to the travel agency to chase down the jerk who set you up, who thankfully did not have the brains to immediately skip town after setting a trap for you.
long story short, you actually make him cry until he offers to a trip to the philippines, but ryo is unphased by this bribe to a beach paradise and instead wants another boat ticket to hong kong. unable to provide, the travel agent reveals gollumn is part of a harbour street gang and that they pick on people who work there, despite most of them having access to heavy machinery that can easily run over or impale people.
ryo gets a job driving a forklift, which the shenmue series would forever be associated with despite being a small part of the first game. he also gets to race them in the mornings in the worst health and safety violation ever made.
so you make a bunch of trouble at the harbour in order to get noticed. you save a homeless dude who happens to be fucking mr miyagi or whatever who teaches you a move which is effectively just chopping fuckers in the neck. the move is incredibly effective. you also get into a fight with three dudes on motorcycles, two of which you totally fuck up WHILE THEY'RE RIDING THE MOTORCYCLE, and third you beat into paste behind a warehouse. he also tells you some information about a big black market deal by the street gang, but also admits he'll be killed for it. he's also never seen through the whole game again, HMMMMM. ryo doesn't give a FUCK.
ryo causes more trouble that gets his coworkers beaten the fuck up, and his lady friend, who has that japanese unrequited love thing going on despite them both wanting to bang, gets kidnapped. you borrow a motorcycle from a friend at 1am and ride to the harbour to some ripping guitar tunes, and go make sure even more of this street gang won't be able to eat solids for months.
you get your friend back, but you make a deal with the street gang leader that you'll break the legs of that antique dealer's son so this TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY gang leader will take you to your father's killer. you agree, despite probably being able to beat the fuck out of everybody in the room, and then take the lady home. you also lose your friend's motorcycle helmet. there is a song on the ride home that is in japanese and english, but clearly not sung by a native english speaker. it is 90s as fuck, but also kinda nice.
you turn up for work the next day to find out you've been fucking FIRED. so instead you go see your hot-dog slinging american friend who i've neglected to mention until now. he teaches you a move which is effectively kicking people in the head. twice. then he goes back to america because he's broke and nobody wants to buy his hot dogs (this is a legitimate subplot in the game you can discover if you talk to npcs and connect the dots).
so anyway, night falls and you prepare to fight the antique dealer's son. you let him in on your plan while trading blows, until the pair of you get serious and end up knocking each other the fuck out. meanwhile, the TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY gang leader attempts to crush the antique dealer's son with a pole with a lump of concrete attached to it. you pull him out of the way and suddenly you're both in fighting condition again. the gang leader invites you to hell, but it's really just the back of a bunch of warehouses. so then you beat up 70 people
yes, in shenmue, a game that values calmness, the ordinary, and sometimes the mundane, you BEAT UP 70 PEOPLE. you fight an entire street gang at once, and WIN. the TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY gang leader is cornered, but the antique dealer's son wants to fight him alone. surprisingly the TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY gang leader fights dirty, but he still gets his shit rocked. turns out he knows nothing about your father's murderer besides the fact he already peaced the fuck out of japan and was on a boat or some shit.
the antique dealer and his son agree to help ryo get to hong kong, like he couldn't have done that when they first met. ryo turns up to the harbour, gets taught the incredibly helpful move of tripping people up and smashing their face, when gollum drops a steel beam on the antique dealer's son so he can't go to hong kong with you. he lives, it's cool.
so anyway ryo fights gollumn in an easier fight than the one in the arcade, and kicks him into the sea. no really. he kicks him into the sea. ryo gets on the boat to hong kong, the theme tune plays, some ancient prophecy is recited, AND THUS THE SAGA BEGINS
shenmue II:
disk 1 - WELCOME TO HONG KONG MOTHER FUCKER, HOPE YOU LIKE FIGHTING, GAMBLING, AND ARM WRESTLING. also you learn about martial arts philosophy and get your ass handed to you relentlessly.
disk 2 - I HOPE YOU LIKE BOOKS BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO SEE A LOT OF THEM. you also learn about the nature of revenge and more martial arts philosophy. you also learn a neat trick with a teacup, race ducks, and get involved with another harbour street gang. you also beat them up, but not all at once like last time because they beat the shit out of you when you try. shenmue II is all about ryo being told he's a dumbass meathead and he gets punished for it relentlessly. you also pay one of them $500 to meet their leader instead of just beating the shit out of them until they talk like usual. you also fall off a building and meet the han solo of the shenmue universe, ren.
disk 3 - oh boy. do you like action? good. the opening to this disk involves clandestine meetings, passwords, handcuffs, and civil engineering gone totally wrong. you also get to listen to a cassette tape, because the 80s. ryo finds the dude who wrote the BACKWARDS CHINESE letter to shed light on why his father was killed and where his killer is, but gets thrown out of a window by an obese man. the obese man later jumps out the window himself, drops about 20 feet, and is totally okay. he also knocks ryo the fuck out, and he's only saved by the martial arts philosophy teacher from disks 1 and 2.
basically from here on out you're street fighting your way into the building where the obese man is holding BACKWARDS CHINESE man. it's awesome. you spend basically the next two hours of the game kicking the shit out of anything that moves, and then end up in a situation similar to the raid before the raid was even a thing. you then beat up a man wearing feathers in a cage, and then ride an elevator for 40 floors*
*this actually happens.
you beat up the obese man on top of a skyscraper, your father's murderer apparently has a helicopter, there's an amazing deathstare, and everything wraps up nicely.
disk 4 - oh shit there's more? the game goes from balls to the wall action to a quiet trip through the forests of guilin and- OH SHIT SOME CRAZY LADY JUST JUMPED IN A RIVER IN A STORM BETTER GET IN WITH HER TOO. oh hey the lady is the same one as on the shenmue and shenmue II packaging who we've not even met yet despite her being in ryo's dreams in the first game and being a great early warning system for when you're running out of game time before the bad end.
so you go on a merry hike through guilin, nearly fall off a cliff several times, enjoy a QTE where ryo is unharmed besides his pride and getting his pants wet but in a rare turn of form must repeat it over and over until you get it right, and then UNCOVER AN ANCIENT MYSTERY WITH A CLIFFHANGER ENDING THAT EVERYBODY WILL WONDER ABOUT FOR YEARS SEE YOU IN 2017 SUCKERS HAHAHA.
that's basically shenmue.