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Someone just refused to take a picture

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OP people like you are the reason I can't just tell people I don't want to hang out at that moment, I have to invent some excuse to justify it.

Sometimes the answer is just "no" and you're not owed a further explanation. This is one of those times
 
MGrant said:
You should still go; it's a great city. But don't be surprised if people are assholes to you because you had the gall to not be Japanese or speak their language perfectly. (To be fair, you run the same risk as a traveler in a place like France or the US).
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What did you do to get treated that way?
 
MGrant said:
You should still go; it's a great city. But don't be surprised if people are assholes to you because you had the gall to not be Japanese or speak their language perfectly. (To be fair, you run the same risk as a traveler in a place like France or the US).
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projecting much? i've been to Tokyo 3 times and not once had an issue there. or anywhere else in Japan.
 
Zeyphersan said:
OP people like you are the reason I can't just tell people I don't want to hang out at that moment, I have to invent some excuse to justify it.

Sometimes the answer is just "no" and you're not owed a further explanation. This is one of those times
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Yeah I totally feel that too. It can't be articulated why, and sometimes I just don't want to answer someone
 
Yeah, you're overthinking it. There's a multitude of reasons why she may have not wanted to take the picture but didn't want to get into the details with you. I would have just assumed by no she meant she was busy or something, not that she was being rude or unreasonable.
 
It's a little unusual that when asked, someone is unwilling to snap a shot.

But not be willing to engage with a stranger -- which might just be for a shot, or might be some sort of opening for a sob story, or a way to hit on someone, etc -- isn't that unusual either.

She didn't know your motives, you don't know her motives. It's just one of those human moments when the social lubricant dries up and there's a little rough patch. Nothing to get worked up over.
 
This reminds me of those sad posts on the internet you see floated around where a guy asks a girl out, she declines, and he gets upset that she didn't give him a long explanation of why not.
 
Chumley said:
I guess my experience is different because I'm not handing them my phone, I'm handing them my Canon DSLR and definitely not doing it for the 'gram', but either way a random and quick act of kindness is not part of the social contract just like doing anything nice at all for anyone isn't part of the social contract. It's not about whether or not you're required to do something, it's what choosing to do said thing or choosing not to says about you. I've made friends while traveling by asking them to take a picture, or taking a picture for them and agreeing to send it to them via email or something. Talking to strangers isn't always the worst thing in the world.
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Here's the thing. If a random person asks me to take a picture (or any other random favour for that matter) and I say no it means that I have shit to do or commitments to attend. In that moment my focus is on the people I know who depend on me or the people I know who I've made commitments with, not the random person who I don't know anything about.

So forgive me for not giving a shit if you want to judge me based on our fleeting interaction as we pass each other by.
 
Chumley said:
Really depends on the context. If it's a tourist spot and they're just strolling around like I am, I'd probably think they're an asshole. If they're clearly in a rush, that's different. Typically when asking people you read the area and ask someone who seems approachable.
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You would a think a person, who was just minding their own business, is an asshole for choosing one of two options a complete stranger offered them entirely unprompted.

That's legitimately a shitty attitude. Like horribly judgmental and terrible.
 
Staccat0 said:
They can say no and they don't owe you an explanation... but... in that weird Seinfeld kinda way, yeah that is really weird. I've never actually heard of someone saying "no" to that.
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I remember when I was in Bruges, almost everyone I asked was basically delighted I asked them. They usually didn't know how to use my camera, but after I quickly showed them where the button is they'd give me the thumbs up and do it. After they gave it back to me, they would ask if I like the city, either saying they think it's beautiful or that they can't wait to leave it, etc.

People here thinking it's rude to ask someone to do this don't realize that sometimes it has the opposite effect entirely.
 
She declined. Ask someone else.


Some people are uncomfortable with technology or stranger's phone or language and don't want to interact

It's ok to ask.
It's ok to decline.
 
Massive Duck said:
What did you do to get treated that way?
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Yeah, I wasn't going to bother commenting on the typical "Japan racist" driveby posts but enough is enough of that really. I'm not a tourist, I've lived here for 3 years. I speak Japanese. The conversation in the OP was all in Japanese, and my friend who asked it is Japanese.

People in my experience here have been exceedingly kind especially when you consider it's a metropolis (living in London and here is like night and day) particularly in terms of going out of their way to help people who only speak English. They keep to themselves but if ever interacted with usually go above and beyond to help someone.
 
I have refused to take a pic before for some random tourist, just found out my mother had breast cancer and was on a park bench trying to collect my thoughts and not freak out. Wasn't in the mood, sorry.
 
KHarvey16 said:
You would a think a person, who was just minding their own business, is an asshole for choosing one of two options a complete stranger offered them entirely unprompted.

That's legitimately a shitty attitude. Like horribly judgmental and terrible.
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Entitled to the max. "How dare folks don't stop and fawn over my bullshit?!!"
 
brianmcdoogle said:
This reminds me of those sad posts on the internet you see floated around where a guy asks a girl out, she declines, and he gets upset that she didn't give him a long explanation of why not.
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"GAF, I went on a date and didn't have sex."

Lovely Salsa said:
Risking to be denied service just because Im not japanese is not ok in my book. If what other poster said is true
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I've yet to encounter someone rude when I traveled in Japan. If you encounter someone like the OP described, just ask another person.

If you lose something, someone will turn it in the lost and found.

Japan is a model country for tourism + visiting.
 
MGrant said:
You should still go; it's a great city. But don't be surprised if people are assholes to you because you had the gall to not be Japanese or speak their language perfectly. (To be fair, you run the same risk as a traveler in a place like France or the US).
Click to expand...

Regardless of the survey that is reeeeeeally not the kind of behavior you should expect to encounter as a tourist.
 
Overthinking OP? Yeah. She didn't owe you an explanation. You asked and she said no. End of story. She didn't have to be doing anything else.
 
Kite said:
I have refused to take a pic before for some random tourist, just found out my mother had breast cancer and was on a park bench trying to collect my thoughts and not freak out. Wasn't in the mood, sorry.
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Wow, rude.
 
Kite said:
I have refused to take a pic before for some random tourist, just found out my mother had breast cancer and was on a park bench trying to collect my thoughts and not freak out. Wasn't in the mood, sorry.
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but they could of had a cool camera, tho
 
I have heard stories about people using this as a ploy to scam people, you shouldn't be surprised of people being wary of any strangers out there, this world is filled up with assholes.

Ask someone else and move on.
 
Chumley said:
I remember when I was in Bruges, almost everyone I asked was basically delighted I asked them. They usually didn't know how to use my camera, but after I quickly showed them where the button is they'd give me the thumbs up and do it. After they gave it back to me, they would ask if I like the city, either saying they think it's beautiful or that they can't wait to leave it, etc.

People here thinking it's rude to ask someone to do this don't realize that sometimes it has the opposite effect entirely.
Click to expand...

It's not rude to ask someone. It's also not rude for them to decline. That's the entire point that you seem incapable of grasping.
 
Chumley said:
I guess my experience is different because I'm not handing them my phone, I'm handing them my Canon DSLR and definitely not doing it for the 'gram', but either way a random and quick act of kindness is not part of the social contract just like doing anything nice at all for anyone isn't part of the social contract. It's not about whether or not you're required to do something, it's what choosing to do said thing or choosing not to says about you. I've made friends while traveling by asking them to take a picture, or taking a picture for them and agreeing to send it to them via email or something. Talking to strangers isn't always the worst thing in the world.
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In the very unlikely chance you ever ask me to take a picture for you I'm fucking it up on purpose just because of this post lol.
 
You are in a strange city, you have misplaced your cell phone, you ask a stranger who is visibly wearing a watch for the time, he ignores you and walks past. What do you do... WHAT DO YOU DO?!
 
TheBryanJZX90 said:
Regardless of the survey that is reeeeeeally not the kind of behavior you should expect to encounter as a tourist.
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Yeah, even though the results of that survey don't really surprise me in terms of what Japanese people may really think of foreigners in general, part of Japanese culture is keeping up a facade, especially in service industries.
 
Who cares, get someone else to do it. Plus some people are assholes about it (especially since everyone needs the perfect shot for ig now), I've had dudes asking me to retake their picture like four times talkin "I blinked/It's blurry/the angle is off," like I ain't your personal photographer man.
 
wedca said:
You are in a strange city, you have misplaced your cell phone, you ask a stranger who is visibly wearing a watch for the time, he ignores you and walks past. What do you do... WHAT DO YOU DO?!
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Run to the nearest Internet cafe and post on GAF obviously.
 
Chumley said:
Because there's a thing called common courtesy for your fellow human being who is just looking for some help. You do you, though.
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He wasn't asking for money to buy gas or to use someone else's phone to call someone in an emergency. It's a picture. Jesus lol.
 
op?

n08A8NO.jpg
 
Sage00 said:
Is this normal? Was with my friend near the Kabukiza theatre in Tokyo and she wanted to take a picture. She asked a lady probably in her 40s nearby who was standing around "Could you possibly take a picture of us please?"

The reply: "No, sorry."

Am I ridiculous for thinking that is unreasonable or borderline rude?

Not "Sorry I can't, I need to be somewhere" or "Sorry, I'm looking for a taxi / my friend / whatever" just "Nah, sorry can't do it" then continuing to stand around the same area. I can't imagine myself ever giving that reply.

Straight after a nice old lady accepted (who actually was a little busy with her friends), checked multiple times if it was ok or if we wanted to take another / move to another place / take it horizontally. Such an amazing contrast.

Overthinking?
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She ain't your maid, she don't got to do squat.
 
Zeyphersan said:
It's not rude to ask someone. It's also not rude for them to decline. That's the entire point that you seem incapable of grasping.
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It's not a point, it's an opinion, and one devoid of context. You think it isn't rude. I think it is, depending on the situation. If you think expecting strangers to be kind to eachother is entitled, go ahead and believe that.
 
wedca said:
You are in a strange city, you have misplaced your cell phone, you ask a stranger who is visibly wearing a watch for the time, he ignores you and walks past. What do you do... WHAT DO YOU DO?!
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I then look for a convenience store, grab a few things, and (as I am paying) ask for the time.

But if I were the OP, I would question what has happened for our societies to be in such dire straits.
 
So...

Stranger #1 was asked to take your photo. She said no.

Stranger #2 was asked to take your photo. She said yes and went out of her way to make sure you were happy with the picture.

End of story? The picture was taken. The first woman was under no obligation to snap the shot or even offer you an explanation as to why she refused. Just let it go.
 
Chumley said:
It's not a point, it's an opinion, and one devoid of context. You think it isn't rude. I think it is, depending on the situation. If you think expecting strangers to be kind to eachother is entitled, go ahead and believe that.
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A person who doesn't take your picture is unkind? Awful.
 
Chumley said:
It's not a point, it's an opinion, and one devoid of context. You think it isn't rude. I think it is, depending on the situation. If you think expecting strangers to be kind to eachother is entitled, go ahead and believe that.
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HAHAHAHAHA

This is why I come to GAF.
 
Chumley said:
It's not a point, it's an opinion, and one devoid of context. You think it isn't rude. I think it is, depending on the situation. If you think expecting strangers to be kind to eachother is entitled, go ahead and believe that.
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This lady very KINDLY declined to take the picture.
 
Chumley said:
It's not a point, it's an opinion, and one devoid of context. You think it isn't rude. I think it is, depending on the situation. If you think expecting strangers to be kind to eachother is entitled, go ahead and believe that.
Click to expand...

Would you like to speak to the manager?
 
Chumley said:
I remember when I was in Bruges, almost everyone I asked was basically delighted I asked them. They usually didn't know how to use my camera, but after I quickly showed them where the button is they'd give me the thumbs up and do it. After they gave it back to me, they would ask if I like the city, either saying they think it's beautiful or that they can't wait to leave it, etc.

People here thinking it's rude to ask someone to do this don't realize that sometimes it has the opposite effect entirely.
Click to expand...

Literally no one has said it's rude to ask.

Just as it's not rude to politely decline.

How to ask someone to take your photo at a tourist spot:
Rude: Hey you! Take my photo!
Not rude: Hey, sorry to impose on, but could you take a picture of me, please?

How to respond when someone asks to take your photo:
Rude: Fuck you, you ugly!
Not rude: Sorry, but no.

How to respond to someone politely declining your request to take your photo?
Not rude: Oh, I understand you said no, and that's ok! I'll ask someone else. Have a nice day! Go find someone else to take your photo without worrying about the person politely declining your request
Rude: Oh, you said no? Ok. Go and complain about that person being rude, and then ask for confirmation of your feelings.

So, if the OP wants my personal opinion: You're the rude one. Don't complain about someone not doing you a favor, especially if they are polite when they decline.
 
OP, next time assert your dominance by pissing on their legs while maintaining eye contact. It's important to grab both of their shoulders while doing this
 
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