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Stupid things you thought when you were younger

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I always wondered why my left foot would get tired on a scooter when I was doing all the pushing with my right foot.
 
I thought:

behave was be have (how do you be have?)

suitcase was soupcase

kindergarten was like Busch Gardens

babysitters actually came to sit on me like chickens do to their eggs

all intents and purposes was all intensive purposes

my gym teacher in elementary school was a man, though it turned out she was a she when I saw her wearing lipstick at a school event (I was really confused at first though)

girls had 2 butts
 
What I was taught in Sunday school was real. It was not until I was in fifth grade when I got a nice science book that I learned otherwise. This book explained how the earth was formed, how old it is, evolution, and a lot of stuff about space. I remember showing my mother the picture of the evolution from ape to man. My mother told me that the bible says that god created man. At that moment I choose to believe the science book over the bible. Reason FTW!!
 
I realize it doesn't compare to "I thought girls peed out of their butt," but some of the ol' family racism rubbed off on me as a child. Probably the most embarrassing thing in my life is that I attended a KKK rally at the town hall when I was seven or eight. I'll never forgive my father for some of this crap.

Not to try and start a religious flame war or anything, but my family is historically Baptist. Southern Baptist. I attended a Southern Baptist church 'til about eleven, so... that's another strike against me.

On a more lighthearted note, I once told my mother that she shouldn't reset her trip meter on the odometer, because it was illegal. I learned a few days before, of course, about engine mileage being removed from engines and such. Maybe through the Matilda movie? I don't really remember.
 
Suburban Cowboy said:
Ive said it before and Ill say it again: The metric system simply doesnt work
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Suburban Cowboy
Living proof that posting on NeoGAF requires no skill.
(Yesterday, 09:37 PM)
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Imperial sucks. Metric is better.

As for me...

I hadn't been exposed to the English language until I was four years old. I guess as a consequence, I'd get a lot of words wrong:

I thought a girlfriend was a friend who just happened to be a girl. I was also vaguely aware that you were only supposed to have one at a time. So even though I was friends with some of the girls in my class, I refused to call any of them that because I didn't want to be a two-timer with multiple girlfriends.

I heard the word "heavy" as "happy" for about a year or so. It was confusing.

I thought that the reason my skin was darker than my cousin's was because I'd spent too long in the womb and had gotten 'overcooked'. I tried making myself lighter (so I could be like him) with talcum powder, but to no avail.

I used to think that germs and diseases would eat at you from the inside, so if you were dirty enough, you'd end up hollow.
 
that women got pregnant by just making out

that guys could get pregnant

that in order to deliver a baby, a doctor would have to saw the woman in half, take out the baby, then sew the mother back together

i believed some weird stuff when i was little...
 
Boy's have peanuts and girls have chinas.

A blowjob consisted of a girl blowing inside of a penis.

Also the monsters under the bed were never as fast as me so i never got caught by them. Then I felt bad for being so awesome that i would sleep with my left arm over the side of the bed so they could at least have that part of me.
 
I used to think that cars traveled in a line, like how school was, and there were line leaders at the very beginning which made us stop and go.
 
Suburban Cowboy said:
thats a lie. Playboy shows no pink
Click to expand...

They do, but very rarely. The rareness of the pink in playboy also made me even more obsessed with wanting to know what was there. And since on playboy you can't see anything even when they DO show it, I didn't believe it at first and needed more 'proof' from my friend's other more revealing mags.
 
I thought that marquee lights lit up as the electricity "passed by".

I also though Duke Nukem Forever would come out in 1998.
 
When I would go to McDonald's with my grandpa, I always thought that the music was played by bands in the attic of the restaurant. I always wanted to go upstairs to meet them.

I also believed that the button to shift gears in an automatic car would turn the vehicle into a helicopter, Go-go-gadget-style. My grandpa also told me to never hit that button. I figured we'd wreck since the car would be transforming in the middle of our drive. :lol
 
- I was told if I ate any seeds from any fruit/vegetable and drank any water they would grow out from inside my mouth. I never drank water for a day or two after eating a fruit or vegetable. :lol
 
iamtheb said:
When I would go to McDonald's with my grandpa, I always thought that the music was played by bands in the attic of the restaurant. I always wanted to go upstairs to meet them.

I also believed that the button to shift gears in an automatic car would turn the vehicle into a helicopter, Go-go-gadget-style. My grandpa also told me to never hit that button. I figured we'd wreck since the car would be transforming in the middle of our drive. :lol
Click to expand...

there used to be buttons in automatics?

Also, my uncle told me if you hold in your farts you'll smell bad when your older.
 
I used to think that the line from Loser was "So, open the door" not "Soy un perdedor"

Also I used to believe that Government knew what was best for people.
 
I used to rent this dragon quest anime as a kid and during some action scenes, they would show a picture of button inputs from snes controller. Being a dumb kid, I actually tried to "play" a anime video.
 
I was fairly oblivious about ethnicity and racism in general until the age of 12; and I was rather horrified when I looked back on all my childhood experiences where I was picked on or marginalised for being Asian. My next six years were filled with a lot of hate. :D
 
After I saw Toy Story for the first time, I took all of my toys and put them in the bathroom. Then I closed the door and peeked through the crack. Later I asked my aunt (i was living with her at the time) why the toys didn't move.
 
I thought that if I proved someone wrong in an argument, they would do the smart thing and stop taking whatever stupid position it was that I was arguing with.

Then I found message boards.
 
I used to think every song was exactly the same tempo and different speeds of music just came from emphasizing different note durations.

I thought sex was hugging and kissing at the same time.

I I thought game developers had to program in by hand every possible situation (ie:every animation in every location facing in every direction....etc...though I thought this in the 2d era when it would be semi plausible)

Drinking and driving meant drinking ANY beverage while driving.
 
I thought that Mars used to have water on it.
Oh Wait...

lol seriously though, back when I was in 2nd grade (late nineties) we used to go to the school library on friday and check out books to read for the rest of the week. I always checked out paranormal books (the old ones with Nazca lines, Nessie, etc.), Those "Scary stories to tell in the dark" books (lol we used to fight over those), and those "Eyewitness" books about various subjects.

So I snag the space book, and it just so happens we were learning about geological stuff at the time. As soon as I turned to the page with Mars on it, I saw all those lines going up and down, which looked like dried up streams, rivers, and whatnot. I told my teacher about it and what it meant, and she pretty much shot me down quick (forget the exact words of course...but I just know no one believed me at the time).

Fast forward 10 or so years later, and scientists are running around pointing at those same lines, saying the same things I got shot down about in elementary school:lol

Also on a lesser note, I really thought most of the stuff in those Weekly world news mags in the store were real.
 
WHOAguitarninja said:
I I thought game developers had to program in by hand every possible situation (ie:every animation in every location facing in every direction....etc...though I thought this in the 2d era when it would be semi plausible)
Click to expand...
I thought this until I was like 14. With 3D games though.
 
When I was really young...

I used to think all my grade school teachers were secretly related to each other.

I used to think that you had to put your blinker on while passing any intersection, regardless of whether or not you werer turning.

I used to think that when we were in church, it was God talking into the microphone.
 
i thought my superman action figure was supposed to be impervious to damage. so i destroyed a lot of them and kept begging my mom to buy me new ones until i got one that wasn't defective
 
When I was 8 or 9 I thought I could fly..

Seriously.. I built one of these:
riippuliidin.jpg

out of these:
Kyle-garbagebags3.jpg

collected broken ones of these to make the frame:
hockeysticks.jpg

taped it all together with this:
ductface.jpg

And jumped of from this:
roof.jpg

Lesson learned.
es_0285.gif
 
When I was really young I used to believe that a wraith (which looked just like the ones in LoTR) lived in my closet and that unless I prayed to it (I had this chant that I said) it would come out and give me nightmares.

I thought that the only two 'races' were white people and black people. There were a lot of Asians at my school and I considered them white. It wasn't until highschool that I realised that people divided themselves up even more. Oh those simpler times
 
I used to think the human body was like a treasure chest of food and that people died only when they ate too much and became full.
I thought you could see food at the back of dead people's throats.
 
genjiZERO said:
When I was really young I used to believe that a wraith (which looked just like the ones in LoTR) lived in my closet and that unless I prayed to it (I had this chant that I said) it would come out and give me nightmares.

I thought that the only two 'races' were white people and black people. There were a lot of Asians at my school and I considered them white. It wasn't until highschool that I realised that people divided themselves up even more. Oh those simpler times
Click to expand...
until highschool?
 
up until two days ago i thought everyone was double jointed in their third knuckles.

my man grabs my hand and is like "ewww? you can bend your fingers backwards?" and i'm like "you can't? i thought everyone could do this."
 
asa said:
When I was 8 or 9 I thought I could fly..
Click to expand...

:lol ouch!

When I was young (about 5 or so), I thought that when my older brothers got grounded they were actually buried in the backyard overnight up to their necks by my parents.
 
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