In your last post you dumbed it down to:
Which basically says if you think about it you just have to realize that you're being stupid and it all goes away. It doesn't work that way. For most people it's more than just having low self esteem, there is much more impacting their decision making, most of which they can't control through just thinking about. Just like every other illness, you can't think and it's magically fixed. That's what my complaint was in regards to and since that statement is factually incorrect, no it doesn't seem like you understand mental illness. I'm sorry for your personal struggles but thinking everyone just needs an epiphany that things aren't so bad isn't how it works. It just doesn't.
But.. it did hit me...
After looking at everyone else for years, and realizing I'm not that different, I started looking for a solution to my problems. Becoming unsuicidal is incredible work, and that huge ass post is a small drop in the bucket for the past year and a half of what I had to learn and apply and perfect. If you dissect that, that's a TON of things to work through.
But in the grand scheme of things, once I stopped fighting myself, and I didn't give myself a hard time limit, things progressed swiftly.
Boundaries
Nutrition
Supplements instead of drugs for chemical imbalances
Curbing booze
Preventing resentment
Standing up for myself
Patience
Forgiveness
Personal forgiveness
Acceptance of who I am
Pounding pillows
Screaming
Crying
Acceptance of where I'm at
Saving money
Working a shit job until I found a better job with nicer people
Goals
Better sleep
Dropping crappy people
That's.. a lot, wouldn't you say?
But it all started with saying to myself, no more. I will not live like this anymore, and I will take control of my life.
Its not simple. But nothing clicked until I was ready to LET it click. Once it DID click, once I was ready to stop mentally abusing myself, I was easily able to put this all in motion. It may sound like bootstraps bullshit but its not. Its applied work a metric ton of it, but none of it would have happened until I was ready to stop hating myself. I had to say no more, and stop hating myself first. I had to be ready for help and positive things. I had to want to get better. And not just a little, but right up until the time I sent a suicide text to an ex, and she and all my old friends rang me frightened to death.
Despite that brief feeling of "we care", they were frightened to be around me until I took all thhese steps to get better.
Oh and lest you think I'm full of shit, I bought a ton of the most highly rated books on family dysfunction and all the topics that affected me, applied what I needed for me and just did it. I had all this stuff for a long time and read most of it years ago, but it wasn't until later that I could identify the problems and make changes. I'm not simplifying suicide, it wouldn't have taken me this long to undo the desperation if it was easy. But it starts with really wanting to get better and getting in touch with what you feel, what you want, and what you can change.
You know, you're right. My experience is pretty useless to you in the grand scheme of things. I'll stop posting in these topics. Your situations are hopeless (in your eyes) any way, why should I bother? If you don't give a shit, the fuck do I care?
That's what you want to hear isn't it?