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Tabris praises the worst dialogue in the industry

Dec 29, 2006
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It's so overwrought and facile that it sounds like it was written by a 14-year-old girl who goes to outdoor cafes and writers in her journal.

Here's a sample from the last trailer:

"We identified the ship that touched down on Edan Prime. There is power in creation. To shape a life, turn it towards happiness or despair."

...

"How did you end up serving on an Alliance ship?"
"I enlisted right out of med school. Earth always seemed boring to me. Too safe, too secure. I figured the colonies were teaming with exotic adventure. I wanted to travel the stars, tending the wounds of tough soldiers with piercing eyes and sensitive souls."

...

"You all know the mission and what is at stake. I have come to trust each of you with my life. But I've also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns. We are trained for espionage. We would be legends, but the records are sealed."

Piercing eyes and sensitive souls? How can they not realize their writing is atrocious? Have they never read anything besides X-Men comicbooks and D&D novels?

At least "All your base are belong to us." is unintentionally funny and therefore has a saving grace.

Fire your writers, you Canadian hicks.
 

Crushed

Fry Daddy
Aug 10, 2007
8,507
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Here
GremlinInTheMachine writes the worst thread of the day.

Who am I kidding, it's Saturday. A worse one will happen.
 

Evlar

Banned
Dec 22, 2006
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chaff.g said:
ever played a jrpg?
If we're comparing native English dialogue to dialogue translated from Japanese I think we've already established something's wrong.
 

chaff.g

Member
Feb 23, 2007
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The Sphinx said:
If we're comparing native English dialogue to dialogue translated from Japanese I think we've already established something's wrong.
$60 is $60 dude
 

Evlar

Banned
Dec 22, 2006
14,386
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Anyway. I've definitely seen worse (yes, sometimes in jrpgs). You should see the writing in the majority of MMOs. Holy shit.
 

VALIS

Member
Jan 3, 2005
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GremlinInTheMachine said:
It's so overwrought and facile that it sounds like it was written by a 14-year-old girl who goes to outdoor cafes and writers in her journal.

I thought based on that sentence your topic would've been about games published by Atlus.
 

Father_Brain

Banned
Jun 7, 2004
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The majority of "great" videogame writing is utter shit by the standards of any other medium. Surprise, surprise.

Looking at the trailers, the voice acting is pretty terrible too.
 
Dec 29, 2006
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traveler said:
Game Informer disagrees.

Didn't the same writer use Star Wars, a children's morality tale / space opera, as the benchmark for excellent sci-fi over the last twenty-five years? I tend to doubt he’s read anything besides X-Men comicbooks and D&D novels either.
 

Crushed

Fry Daddy
Aug 10, 2007
8,507
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Here
Father_Brain said:
The majority of "great" videogame writing is utter shit by the standards of any other medium. Surprise, surprise.




These fine examples disagree with you.
 

Teknopathetic

Member
Jun 6, 2004
24,114
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"Seven years ago, dude. Back when Sega and Rare were still relevant."


Rare was never relevant and BGII's still only topped by Planescape: Torment and the best of adventure games 7 years later.

Next?
 

Speevy

Banned
Jun 26, 2004
62,861
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I think you need to recall the conversation which was had by two Twi'leks on Dantooine.

Male: "Mucha shaka paka. Ah dah dee dunga dunga dunga."


Female: "Ohh no, shaka paka dunga wunga. Una hahna wahna."
 

Witchfinder General

punched Wheelchair Mike
Mar 3, 2007
7,282
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It's not amazing but it certainly better than the vast majority of games out there.

Having said that, the videogame industry really needs to hire better writers.
 

traveler

Not Wario
Oct 22, 2006
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Teknopathetic said:
"Seven years ago, dude. Back when Sega and Rare were still relevant."


Rare was never relevant and BGII's still only topped by Planescape: Torment and the best of adventure games 7 years later.

Next?

The writing in the game your avatar is from actually gives them a decent run for their money.
 

Joe Molotov

Member
Nov 25, 2005
16,080
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1,500
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!
 

Evlar

Banned
Dec 22, 2006
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I don't think Baldur's Gate II's dialogue was exceptional. Some of it was very funny, and supported by robust VA performances, but all-in-all it reads like typical D&D boilerplate.

Anyone who names the top-tier adventure games among the best scripts in the business is spot-on.
 

RobotChant

Member
Jun 7, 2004
3,037
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GremlinInTheMachine said:
It's so overwrought and facile that it sounds like it was written by a 14-year-old girl who goes to outdoor cafes and writers in her journal.

Here's a sample from the last trailer:



Piercing eyes and sensitive souls? How can they not realize their writing is atrocious? Have they never read anything besides X-Men comicbooks and D&D novels?

At least "All your base are belong to us." is unintentionally funny and therefore has a saving grace.

Fire your writers, you Canadian hicks.

It's called art.
 

Teknopathetic

Member
Jun 6, 2004
24,114
4
0
"The writing in the game your avatar is from actually gives them a decent run for their money."


You can't really call it dialogue, though.


Jade Empire's a low blow, btw. I'm holding out hope for Dragon Age, since they'll finally be writing for an audience with an average age above middle school.
 

buckfutter

Member
Aug 29, 2005
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Melbourne, Australia
Everything Black Isle ever did shits all over Bioware's stuff. I'm really excited about Mass Effect, but I'm not expecting the "greatest game story ever". It looks like it's going to be your standard fantasy story with laser guns, spaceships and awesome synth music smeared all over it.
 

stressboy

Member
Jan 8, 2006
3,098
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www.google.com
Speevy said:
I think you need to recall the conversation which was had by two Twi'leks on Dantooine.

Male: "Mucha shaka paka. Ah dah dee dunga dunga dunga."


Female: "Ohh no, shaka paka dunga wunga. Una hahna wahna."

Yo kata bantha poodoo!
 

beelzebozo

Jealous Bastard
Apr 24, 2006
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yeah, i was tempted to name drop valve and the half-life games as examples of good writing in a video game, but i guess it's probably easier to write good dialog in a modern setting without the trappings of an rpg. a lot of rpgs like to have that whole baroque style to their language, and that works sometimes. but it's certainly a fine line to straddle