Okay, lemme have a go.
- Enslaved (Multi) 72% "Nice graphics and animation, but forced AI co-op, no multiplayer and no Pigsy or Sandy make us a sad monkey"
- Quantum Theory (Multi) 35% "Looks like someone chewed up Gears Of War, Resident Evil 5 and Chaos Legion, digested all the good bits, then diarrhea-dumped the rest onto a Blu-Ray disc and called it a game"
- Gran Turismo 5 (PS3) 90% "The grand poobar of automotive simulation excellence. Like the newest iteration of a million-dollar supercar, it's been honed to perfection and polished to the finest sheen, seemingly flawless in every way. But, in the end, isn't it just more of the same?"
- Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow (Multi) 87% "Finally, a 3D Castlevania done right? Indeed, it seems that all the right decisions were made while resurrecting the veteran vampire-killing franchise in HD, casting one eye to the past to bring the Belmont Saga into the present."
- Epic Mickey (Wii) 85% "A true labour of love, and it shows in every jagged yet lovingly-crafted pixel. The freedom and control that the game mechanics allow the player is astounding, changing the way you think about progression in games"
- Call Of Duty: Black Ops (Multi) 75% "A grievously short single-player campaign is little more than salad-dressing for the online multiplayer meat of the game...which tastes just like the last one, but with more MSG. Another "why bother" installment from an Activision franchise, which have become a disappointing regularity as of late."
- Medal Of Honor (Multi) 79% "Sir, yes, sir! I can do the Modern Warfare thing too, sir! I can be sent to die in a hostile battlefield teeming with warring enemy juggernauts too, sir! And I can do it slightly better than the guy I'm blatantly imitating, SIR! Just call me the Unknown Soldier, sir, everyone else will when the smoke clears."