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[3rdman]

She found a dating app on her boyfriend’s phone. Then she bought a samurai sword.

Basically a woman thought her boyfriend was cheating on her so she did the natural thing...she bought a sword and tried to kill him. Spoiler alert: the guy lived and blessed us all with some of the best quotes ever...

“I was able to wing chun my way to survival,” he told the Oregonian/OregonLive in an interview this week over Facebook messenger, referring to a Chinese martial art. He eventually wrapped Javier in a bear hug. “I saw the look in her eyes, and it scared the living poop out of me,” he told the news outlet. “I told her I loved her, and she was killing me. She needed to call police, or I was going to die.”

“I was just so proud for beating this samurai wannabe crazy lady with hate in her heart,” the 29-year-old told the Oregonian/OregonLive. “I’ve been preparing my whole life for something like this.”

The guy is a big PUBG player and its mentioned in the article...

The regimen also required “exercises for his hands, wrists and shoulders and also practicing mouse moves and techniques to maximize performance,” the paper reported.

“I wasn’t a sweaty nerd, more of an Ethlete,” Lovell told the Oregonian/OregonLive.

...and possibly the best quote ever:

“The feeling I had when I won the fight with my bare hands is just absolutely the best feeling,” Lovell boasted this week from the hospital. “I’ve played all the sports, won big games, landed some decent tricks on my snowboard. This was better.”

 

[Halfman The Imp]

So, this guy was dating Beatrix Kiddo?

 

[InterMusketeer]

I wonder if he can play PUBG after this.

Good on him though, he saved his own life but probably the girl's as well.

 

[TrainedRage]

Bitch be trippin'.

 

[Scopa]

“Ethlete”

Fuck.

 

[Blam]

“Ethlete”

Fuck.

That sounds like it's gonna stick.

 

[Pejo]

Amazing that the guy could joke about his situation given that it sounds pretty damn bad. They had to reattach his fingers for fucks sake. I hope the gf gets serious time for attempted murder. What a situation.

 

[LordPezix]

Alex is waayyy too cool of a dude to be attacked by a sword. I fucking grew up with this kid.

Scary thing is that my one of my best buds tried dating that girl, I think how I could've came home and my homie would've been chopped up.

 

[Halfman The Imp]

Alex is waayyy too cool of a dude to be attacked by a sword. I fucking grew up with this kid.

Scary thing is that my one of my best buds tried dating that girl, I think how I could've came home and my homie would've been chopped up.

Seriously? Wow, it's a small world

 

[NiiloPielinen]

Her kung fu was weak

 

[kerrymartin961]

The guy... The Hero...

 

[Grinchy]

Her kung fu was weak

Her forearm strength must have been pretty impressive to hold him up like that, though.

 

[LordPezix]

Seriously? Wow, it's a small world

Yeah, it was crazy the day it happened. Everyone was talking about it and a few of my friends went and saw him in the hospital.

Weird thing is that Alex was more of the A-typical football/snowboarder Jock type in highschool versus the Ethlete "man of a thousand cuts" type guy he is now.

Also from people that were closer to the couple, the attack was also out of jealousy that Alex played too many video games and ignored the girl and the dating app was just the trigger. Sooo people say but Idk for sure.

 

[Jesus Carbomb]

Ip Mane

 

[gioGAF]

Shit is surreal, I thought this was a joke at first. This guy us just dropping the lines like there is no tomorrow, lol.

 

[WaterAstro]

A true psycho bitch (a real coined term). I had dodged one of these early in my life. Some girl who kept obsessing over me and kept sending me fake pictures of herself trying to attract me. Kept messaging me like we were couples, and started getting angry when I don't reply instantly. One of my friends saw her in real life and she was nothing like those pictures she sent me.

 

[Ridcully]

He's really lucky - it's something of a miracle he was able to talk her round to calling emergency services. I can't imagine many people are talked out of pre-meditated murder in the middle of the act.

 

[brap]

Where can I get a yandere gf?

 

[HarryJS]

They had to reattach his fingers for fucks sake.

 

[Ichabod]

Sounds like he was unknowingly dating one of the members of the Deadly Viper Assassation Squad.

 

[Robot Carnival]

my Steam name is One Man Carnival Of Stupid, I feel like I should give up this name since he's clearly owning it now. it really applies to both the guy and the GF.

 

[NickFire]

What's worse? That she acted as crazy as she did? Or that despite what she did, and if she ever gets out of prison, there will be no shortage of guys willing to take a chance on her despite knowing what she did?

Brief edit: Please recognize this was a joke. The comparison that is. Not that there will still be plenty of desperate guys willing to role the dice.