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The REAL February NBA Thread - Accept No Substitute

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Poody said:
SIGH... I posted a list of all the nba torrents sites earlier.
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I couldn't find it :p

I missed most of the All Star stuff on Saturday so I found this place.
 
Fifty said:
What a nice sight to come home to. Raps winning by 18...Vince blowing no one away. I love it. What did Jalen say?
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They asked Jalen how big a win this must be because Vince was on the other side. Jalen was like he loves Vince, Toronto owes Vince and they should retire his jersey. While Jalen was saying this Vince comes into the interview to give him a hug and say how cool Jalen is.
 
20041024_1vincecarter5_193059.gif


WHAT....THE...FUCK?!?!?!?

cat-shock.jpg


Sorry if it's old. I've never seen it before.
 
Gordon was just ridiculous. He went crazy at the end of the game. Anyway, that fucking blows. This game should have been pretty easy. I hope Shaq's ok, but if he's out a few games, it could do us some good. Get the other guys some more experience. And of course, continue further development of the true heir apparent,

Mr. Wade.

Saw the Heat at home against the Clips, and man, Dwyane Wade is incredibly quick. Just so explosive on the court, he's really the next Jordon. Bron will be the next Magic, or a Magic/Jordan hybrid. But his true airness lies in Wade. I can feel it.

Wade's possessed by His Airness's aura...and stuff. It means you better get on the bandwagon now b/c he's gonna be bigger than Kobe, Bron, and even Jesus. Don't wait for Konex to fuck everything up, enjoy it while it's still 100% Konex-free. :D Limited time only. PEACE.
 
Batigoool, supposedly that guy (James White, I think) was nearly an Olympic qualifier or something for the long-jump, so that explains it.


I also love how Kobe wanted a jump ball on that last play when the replay shows him hanging all over GP's arms. :lol And yet he still bitches. :P
 
Damn, that pass by Kobe was silky smoo....wtf am I saying...>_<.

Anyway, Ref were horrible tonight. 4 fouls on the sonics in the first 60 seconds of the game...then whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle after whistle...

3 more games this year against seattle...3-1 here we come!
 
Pimpwerx said:
And of course, continue further development of the true heir apparent,

Mr. Wade.

Saw the Heat at home against the Clips, and man, Dwyane Wade is incredibly quick. Just so explosive on the court, he's really the next Jordon. Bron will be the next Magic, or a Magic/Jordan hybrid. But his true airness lies in Wade. I can feel it.

Wade's possessed by His Airness's aura...and stuff. It means you better get on the bandwagon now b/c he's gonna be bigger than Kobe, Bron, and even Jesus. Don't wait for Konex to fuck everything up, enjoy it while it's still 100% Konex-free. :D Limited time only. PEACE.
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Let's see how Dwyane and LeBron's bodies hold up over the course of the years. Dwyane is a 6'4" Iverson, his entire offensive arsenal is absolute hell on his knees. What point guard around his height does things with the ball like Dwyane? Nobody. Not Kidd, not Payton, not anyone I can think of in the history of the game. If you wanted to argue that Dwyane isn't a true PG, the same argument holds: few, if any, at the guard positions move the way he does. The way he moves laterally is almost inhuman, he covers so much damn area with one step and can change direction at will. Something's gotta give. LeBron, on the other hand, is 6'8" 240, as heavy or heavier than some power forwards, and plays like a guard. He's not quick like Dwyane, but still I'd be very surprised if his body doesn't give out on him in some way five years down the road the way he goes at it.

Don't get me wrong, they'll be great in their own ways, but don't be so quick to compare them to the legends... you know what happens when you do that.
anfernee_hardaway.jpg
grant_hill.jpg
vince_carter.jpg

To list a few...
 
Anyone else abhor these new Jordan commercials? :lol Especially the one with that pudgy kid saying how he's gonna be better than MJ? I'm like, "first you need to lay off those twinkies, holmes." :D


Seriously, though-- it's not even because it's saying that someone will be better than Jordan (which is what someone right now is thinking my beef is :D), but the whole "I'm 10 years old and have an attitude" thing is a disturbing cultural trend imo. :P Kids aren't supposed to have any discernible "edge" to them until at least 14 years old. Sad world. :lol


OMG KOBE IS SO OBNOXIOUS!!! :lol


Like he hasn't been begging for calls all night-- he even tried to throw his arms INTO a defender earlier on a jump shot and the ref didn't bite. What a sad, sad man. :D
 
Kobe schooled that Allen kid tonight. He played like 10 minutes all game cos of foul trouble. Oh and screw GP...Lakers could have had Banks >_<

Lamar was HUGE!! Luke, Mihm and JJ stepped up too. Caron is gonna get moved for a PG or PF....
 
I hope you know Kobe's grandfather past away this weekend. Thats a reason why he looked so slugish :(
 
Cloudy said:
Kobe schooled that Allen kid tonight. He played like 10 minutes all game cos of foul trouble.
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He should've stopped hacking. Seriously, Kobe looks like a butcher out there sometimes.


Sucks about his grandfather, though.
 
Loki your Kobe hate is disgusting!

I swear you whole purpose in life is to make the most ridiculous statements ever about your hero Jordan and going out of your way to diss Kobe! You need to get over it, Jordan is long gone. Pick a new hero or a new team to root for.

P.S. If you need a new idol to worship, I suggest this brand of white chocolate:

76_ben-120-158.JPG


Or if you insist on clinging to the past, at least stick with the greatest.

ali-muhammad-muhammad-ali-vs-sonny-liston-4900221.jpg


If someone photoshopped Jordan's face on Listons body, that would be the greatest image of all time.
 
Kobe didn't even really have an "off" night. He got the ball like 10 times with like no seconds left on the clock and had to throw something retarded up. The team needs some work... need to get smarter. Hopefully in time they'll gel.
 
DMczaf said:
Ali%20and%20Jordan%20autograph.jpg


Hang it on your wall proudly.

Or this

jordan1.jpg
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Ali has parkinsons and clearly doesn't know who he is with in that picture. The REAL Ali wouldn't hand out with any of the new athletes, Jordan being one of the worst (though he ain't no Tom Brady, and I mean that in a good way).

As for Magic, well look what being buddy buddy with MJ got him.....
 
bionic77 said:
Ali has parkinsons and clearly doesn't know who he is with in that picture. The REAL Ali wouldn't hand out with any of the new athletes, Jordan being one of the worst (though he ain't no Tom Brady, and I mean that in a good way).

As for Magic, well look what being buddy buddy with MJ got him.....
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Look on the bright side of that picture of Magic, he didn't have man titties and could still wear shorts without being embarassed. I wonder if TNT will have a Weigh-Off during the playoffs. Magic vs. Barkley vs. Kemp. I'd put money on Magic.
 
DMczaf said:
Look on the bright side of that picture of Magic, he didn't have man titties and could still wear shorts without being embarassed. I wonder if TNT will have a Weigh-Off during the playoffs. Magic vs. Barkley vs. Kemp. I'd put money on Magic.
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That isn't really Magic anymore, just like that isn't real Michael Jackson on trial. Jordan killed the real Magic because he knew he couldn't handle the Lakers and replaced him with Fat Johnson.

The 1991 Finals don't count btw, Jordan distracted Worthy with hookers and that trick only works twice max on a man with Worthy's intelligence.
 
retardboy said:
Kobe didn't even really have an "off" night. He got the ball like 10 times with like no seconds left on the clock and had to throw something retarded up. The
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Yeah, and no other stars have EVER had to do that...:lol


Let the excuses roll in! Don't worry, bionic-- Kobe will still end up shooting 48% for the season....if he takes 10 shots/game from here on out. :D
 
Loki said:
Yeah, and no other stars have EVER had to do that...:lol


Let the excuses roll in! Don't worry, bionic-- Kobe will still end up shooting 48% for the season....if he takes 10 shots/game from here on out. :D
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We said 45%! Don't be a Jordan Loki!




On second thought, after a very detailed search through some of the older threads, I found this:

Loki said:
If Kobe shoots over 42% I will burn all of my Jordan tapes and replace them with sexy Kobe highlight dvds.
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That settles it Loki, 42%.
 
bionic77 said:
We said 45%! Don't be a Jordan Loki!




On second thought, after a very detailed search through some of the older threads, I found this:



That settles it Loki, 42%.
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:lol



















































It was 48%. :D I only remember because I remember thinking, "is this guy INSANE?" after the first 15 games or so. :lol :P
 
Hmm, I found this in the December NBA Thread

bionic77 said:
If Kobe Bryant doesn't average over 30 PPG, I'll wear a Michael Jordan jersey til the Steelers win the Super Bowl
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I bet it seemed like a good idea at the time...

Here ya go!

jordanlakers.jpg
 
DMczaf said:
Hmm, I found this in the December NBA Thread



Hmm, I bet it seemed like a good idea at the time...

Here ya go!

jordanlakers.jpg
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What a cheap forgery! You capitalized "bionic77" dumbass.

I want to say how stupid Jordaphiles and their ilk are after that, but then I look over at my tag and avatar and I remember how I got them. :(
 
Bill Simmons ALLSTAR WEEKEND impressions are IN! And this one is GOLD, children!

So here's my question: If Nelly released a studio album called "Here are some new songs that I recorded with 10 people who aren't singers screaming in the background and overpowering my lyrics," would anyone buy it? Of course not. So why does almost every rapper approach concerts this way? Are they worried that they don't have any talent, so they hide behind the screaming? Is it a posse thing, like they're worried about picking the two or three buddies who should be on stage, so they just go with their 10 closest friends? And why isn't this more of an outrage? Seriously, if you bought tickets to a U2 concert and Bono came out with nine buddies from Dublin who proceeded to ruin every song, wouldn't you ask for your money back? I don't get it.
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:lol so fucking true

Julius Erving saved a potentially awkward Converse press conference -- nobody was asking questions -- by speaking extemporaneously about his 30-year relationship with the up-and-down shoe company. I can't imagine that there's another ex-superstar, in any sport, who's more eloquent and thoughtful in these situations than Doctor J. And I think that's the main reason MJ's star is beginning to fade, whereas Doc remains as popular as ever -- Doc considers himself to be an ambassador of the game, whereas MJ considers himself to be the ambassador of Nike. Big difference.
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uh oh. Paging DM.

II would make three rules to fix this problem so it never happens again:

1. As long as Jason Kidd can walk, he's automatically in the game. Even if he's 75 years old.

2. Each team is REQUIRED to have two true point guards on the roster.

3. If we can't find four true point guards, and if Jason Kidd is somehow incapacitated, then John Stockton has to come out of retirement for one game.

(Note: I'd invite Isiah and Magic as well, but Isiah would end up trading half his team by halftime, and Magic ... well ... )
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well WHAT, bill simmons? YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY? SAY IT!



I know I complain about this every February, but couldn't Magic Johnson take notes from Johnny Carson and Doctor J about how a legend should fade into the sunset? At the rate he's going, Magic is about two years away from getting peed on by Verne Troyer in the "The Surreal Life" house.
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ok fair enough.

With apologies to Stan Van Gundy, Rashard Lewis and Gilbert Arenas, I'm giving this one to Yao Ming. What happened to this guy? Remember when we thought he could be the Chinese Bill Walton? Why does he always look like he was just picked out of the crowd to play with everybody, like he's just happy to be there? I'm really starting to get worried. If Yao doesn't become one of the 10 best centers of all-time, then Jeff Van Gundy needs to change his name to Ted Van Bundy.
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Ted Van Bundy? :lol



A Pantheon performance on the Unintentional Comedy Scale by Chris Andersen. Remember the scene in "One On One" when Robby Benson overdoses on greenies and makes a fool out of himself at practice? Now imagine if that happened in front of 20,000 people. That was actually the first time in my life that I've seen something spectacular in person, only I wished I was watching it at home on TV -- with the announcers' and players' reactions -- because I knew it was 10 times more spectacular for everyone at home. Looking back, I think the best part was that he started off the contest by telling the sideline reporter, "It's time for the Birdman to fly." Could somebody find me a time machine so I could travel back to the '80s and make that my high school yearbook quote?
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:lol



The Jim Gray Award for "Strangest moment that involved Jim Gray"
Gray and I were introduced for the first time on Saturday afternoon ... he walked away ... and then returned 30 seconds later to ask me, "Are you the Bill Simmons from Page 2?" He proceeded to tell me that I was wrong about his performance after the Artest Melee, when I wrote about his voice "inexplicably quivering." According to Gray, many people on the floor were sprayed with pepper spray -- including him -- which explained his general demeanor after the incident. Fair enough. Although I think this should be another event on All-Star Saturday -- "Spray Jim Gray with Pepper Spray."
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:lol

(Put it this way: If you're a 6-foot-9 guy who could pass for an NBA player, spend two grand on an Armani suit, fly yourself to the NBPA party next February, load up on some Viagra, then tell every girl you meet that you're a reserve forward on the Raptors or Hornets. There's a decent chance you could have sex 35 times in three hours.)

Three more things about the NBPA party that you need to know:

1. Everyone had to pass through a metal detector on the way in.

2. This was my first party with "Courvousier ($12)" on the main drink menu at every bar, right alongside "Beer ($4)," "Wine ($6)" and "Mixed drinks ($8)."

3. In one of the men's bathrooms, at 1:45 in the morning, there were guys throwing dice against the wall and betting on every roll.

(The NBA ... it's FANNNNNNNN-tastic! I love this game!)
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:lol Simmons in top form.
 
The Vince McMahon Award for "Best doctoring of crowd noise to make a heel seem like a babyface"
Hey, I'm not saying that the NBA ordered TNT to turn down its crowd microphones when Kobe was introduced ... but Kobe was booed by roughly 65-70 percent of the crowd in Denver before the All-Star Game. It was noticeable, it was loud, and it was beyond awkward. So why couldn't you hear this on TV? At all? Even remotely?
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:lol :lol
 
The Jim Gray Award for "Strangest moment that involved Jim Gray"

Gray and I were introduced for the first time on Saturday afternoon ... he walked away ... and then returned 30 seconds later to ask me, "Are you the Bill Simmons from Page 2?" He proceeded to tell me that I was wrong about his performance after the Artest Melee, when I wrote about his voice "inexplicably quivering." According to Gray, many people on the floor were sprayed with pepper spray -- including him -- which explained his general demeanor after the incident. Fair enough. Although I think this should be another event on All-Star Saturday -- "Spray Jim Gray with Pepper Spray."
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:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
 
ESPN News: Shaq out for the season...Heat press conference coming up.

Damn...I dislike the guy but this sux. Kobe won't get to own him in March :(
 
Holy shit, that sucks. Guess we'll see what Wade has in him now...


And Piston, I don't think it was Kobe. I think it had something to do with AI calling Shaq "the greatest player to ever play the game" during his All-Star MVP acceptance speech, and Shaq didn't run out immediately to correct Iverson, which is what he should have done. Or else things like this happen to you. :D


Look for AI to go down soon, too, though Jordan may spare him because he's always high. ;) :P


foolishrings.gif


"Nothing gets past me."
 
Loki said:
Holy shit, that sucks. Guess we'll see what Wade has in him now...


And Piston, I don't think it was Kobe. I think it had something to do with AI calling Shaq "the greatest player to ever play the game" during his All-Star MVP acceptance speech, and Shaq didn't run out immediately to correct Iverson, which is what he should have done. Or else things like this happen to you. :D


Look for AI to go down soon, too, though Jordan may spare him because he's always high. ;) :P


foolishrings.gif


"Nothing gets past me."
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Holy shit, that reminds me...where's AI?

IversonAllen.jpg
 
ILBK10102230243.jpeg

"KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBEEEEEEEEEEE!!!:

anyway, it turns out this whole story is BS. Got a link, konex? According to ESPN, Shaq hasn't even had his MRI yet.
 
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