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[entremet]

The story begins with a woman named Suzanne. Suzanne met her boyfriend "John" on OkCupid. They’d been dating for six months. Suzanne describes John as sweet, loyal, and spontaneous: one of the best boyfriends she’d ever had. John offered Suzanne keys to his apartment, they went furniture shopping together, they even made a date out of a trip to the DMV. Suzanne was happy. Until one day, she discovered a stash of photos on John’s computer. The images were of John and another woman, kissing. And they were take recently. Just as Suzanne was clicking through the photos, messages meant for John popped up on the screen. They were from other women. Several other women. Suzanne scrolled through the conversations. They were flirty, jokey messages.

When Suzanne left John’s apartment she was determined to warn every Asian woman he knew in case John was secretly dating them too. She sent out a mass message to John’s female Asian Facebook friends telling them what she learned. A few women responded who had also been deceived by John. And what she found was that John did this. A lot. He built up a cadre of several women — all Asian — and then he would get found out, they would all go their separate ways, and he would begin anew.

Suzanne and the other women who met due to John’s dishonesty decided to take action, to warn future victims of John’s true character. They created a fake OkCupid profile, with John’s picture and a slight variation on his username. The profile was filled with warnings: "I’m a serial cheater." "If you see me on here don’t date me."

This is Stephanie’s nightmare scenario. But she says that she’s always on high alert with online dating, because of what she calls "yellow fever" — the tendency of guys to fetishize her for being Asian. She says her OK Cupid inbox is full of guys emailing her about how “exotic she looks, or about her "almond eyes," and how it all seems to feed into particular stereotypes about Asian women. That they are exotic, that they are submissive. It makes dating, especially dating online very difficult.

And it is not just nightmare scenarios like John that make her nervous — Stephanie received warnings about men herself. A lot. A few months ago, a woman that she didn’t know saw an innocuous interaction Stephanie had had with a guy on twitter. She wrote to tell her to watch out--that the guy had yellow fever and would try to hit on her.

More here, including audio:

http://digg.com/2015/fighting-yellow-fever

 

[Not a Jellyfish]

Thread title made me think it was a band of vigilante women that were physically fighting creeps on OKcupid.

 

[Onaco]

Thread title made me think it was a band of vigilante women that were physically fighting creeps on OKcupid.

Ditto. First post never fails.

 

[Cowie]

Thread title made me think it was a band of vigilante women that were physically fighting creeps on OKcupid.

I had the same misconception and I was super excited about it.

 

[Slayven]

Did they both agree to be exclusive

 

[Shuggananas]

none of her damn business

Spoiler

/s

thought the same as first post

 

[neorej]

Isn't this the same with regular dating? People are attracted to certain physical aspects; haircolor, bodytype, length, etc etc. And yeah, John sounds like a tool, I just don't get how his preference to Asians or girls possessing Asian-like physical attributes factors into that.

 

[entremet]

Did they both agree to be exclusive

Hard to say. They were dating for six months and she did call him her boyfriend.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Guy sounds like an asshole, but setting up fake profiles and such seems a bit overkill. Just break up and go your own way.

 

[ninjabat]

Damn, this guy got burned good.

 

[Your Entertainer]

Why didn't she just leave after she found the photos of him kissing the other girl? The "determined to warn every other Asian woman" part just seems excessive and weird honestly.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

Damn, this guy got burned good.

I doubt it. His ways will outlive their anger. Eventually they're going to stop and think, "I've been wasting my time."

 

[RockTurtle]

although the guy IS an asshole, i don't know how i feel about this sort of vigilante vengeance.

seems kinda petty. just leave and move on, let your immediate friends know.

 

[DOWN]

OP you read digg? Did anyone else not know digg was around anymore?

 

[Jinkies]

This article is pretty disgusting. Demonizing sexual preferences using this unrelated story of a womanizer (who is actually just a covertly polyamorous male).

 

[Mumei]

Isn't this the same with regular dating? People are attracted to certain physical aspects; haircolor, bodytype, length, etc etc. And yeah, John sounds like a tool, I just don't get how his preference to Asians or girls possessing Asian-like physical attributes factors into that.

I think there's a gap between attraction and fetishization. I'm not sure how I would articulate it - maybe that in the former you feel seen as a person, and in the latter you're just sort of this assemblage of characteristics that get the other person off.

 

[Slayven]

Hard to say. They were dating for six months and she did call him her boyfriend.

Unless they had the talk, ehhhhhhhh.....

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Did he give every woman keys to his apartment?

For a serial cheater, that sounds like a rookie mistake...

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

This article is pretty disgusting. Demonizing sexual preferences using this unrelated story of a womanizer (who is actually just a covertly polyamorous male).

Is that what they call it these days?

 

[entremet]

Unless they had the talk, ehhhhhhhh.....

I've never called anyone my girlfriend unless I had the discussion and vice versa.

That said, I can see confusion happening here.

 

[Bleepey]

I was kinda expecting this dude to be abusive or something, but unless I am missing something he just had a hard on for Asian girls and cheated on her. Seems like a load of hot air for nothing

 

[RockTurtle]

I was kinda expecting this dude to be abusive or something, but unless I am missing something he just had a hard on for Asian girls and cheated on her. Seems like a load of hot air for nothing

guilty of having a preference!

or, it's extremely hard nowadays to have a physical preference because even the process of explaining it can open you up to people questioning your desires and personal wants.

 

[Ke0]

I think there's a difference between preference and fetishization of an ethnic group.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Guy sounds like an asshole, but setting up fake profiles and such seems a bit overkill. Just break up and go your own way.

This is how I feel. Cyberwarning "the internet" about a cheating asshole isn't going to accomplish much.

 

[Nephtis]

Where the fuck do these people live that they can land dates with several women at once

where I'm at pickins are super slim. there's a distinct lack of women, and us men majorly outnumber them

I need to move

 

[Bleepey]

guilty of having a preference!

or, it's extremely hard nowadays to have a physical preference because even the process of explaining it can open you up to people questioning your desires and personal wants.

I know white chicks that go gaga for black dudes, I just shrug my shoulders and say a girl likes what they like. Same thing for my white friends who apparently have a thing for black/asian girls.

 

[Skux]

Digg makes content now?

Gotta chase them Buzzfeed clicks.

 

[The Elite]

I knew a girl who was incredibly attracted to British accents.

I know white chicks that go gaga for black dudes, I just shrug my shoulders and say a girl likes what they like. Same thing for my white friends who apparently have a thing for black/asian girls.

Yup, people are attracted to what they are attracted to. If they can't get over that base attraction and see you for who you really are after a few dates, sure, that's an issue. Otherwise, I don't see a problem with being attracted to a particular feature, whether it be physical or otherwise. Base attraction is going to be physical and will include features you may fetish for.

The fact that the guy in the OP is an asshole cheater really doesn't have much to do with his preference for Asian women. He could have any preference and still be a cheater.

 

[MrPanda]

I was kinda expecting this dude to be abusive or something, but unless I am missing something he just had a hard on for Asian girls and cheated on her. Seems like a load of hot air for nothing

No kidding, like big friggin deal. Dude likes to fuck Asian girls, oh no.

 

[Moff]

is that really what people consider to be a "creep"?
I'd call him a cheater and an asshole.

I probably wouldn't do a fake profile of my ex, though, even if she cheated on me, that sounds a bit excessive. move on.

 

[mullet2000]

When Suzanne left John’s apartment she was determined to warn every Asian woman he knew in case John was secretly dating them too. She sent out a mass message to John’s female Asian Facebook friends telling them what she learned.

...what the hell? This part really makes me question Suzanne's position in this story. Dude is a creep for cheating but who goes on this crucade and contacts all the guy's friends of a certain race? That's crazy.

 

[Dude Abides]

What, a guy can't have a preference for those mysterious ladies of the Orient, who know how to please a man both in the bedroom and the kitchen?

Next you'll be telling me my waifu isn't really a 1000 year old dragon in girl form.

 

[Yaboosh]

Where the fuck do these people live that they can land dates with several women at once

where I'm at pickins are super slim. there's a distinct lack of women, and us men majorly outnumber them

I need to move

Moving will totally help.

 

[The Elite]

Where the fuck do these people live that they can land dates with several women at once

where I'm at pickins are super slim. there's a distinct lack of women, and us men majorly outnumber them

I need to move

Major cities.

In Toronto I could have a couple of dates lined up in a week.

 

[HappehLemons]

This girl sounds more crazy then the guy. You can be seeing someone for six months but not be dating. I obviously don't know what really happened, but just her perspective alone is enough to set off red flags.

 

[The Elite]

This girl sounds more crazy then the guy. You can be seeing someone for six months but not be dating. I obviously don't know what really happened, but just her perspective alone is enough to set off red flags.

I would say offering keys to his apartment probably made her feel they were exclusive. I would get that impression.

 

[Foggy]

In the end, Stephanie decided it was easier to delete all of her online dating profiles than it was to date online, all the time wondering if she was matching with some guy who had messaged her because he had set his filter for only Asian women. Nowadays, she only meets guys offline. As she says, "they have to come out from behind their screens. They’ll actually have to look into my eyes and hold out their hands. And that’s when they’ll find out that I have teeth. And they are sharp."

Well ok then

 

[Firemind]

Where the fuck do these people live that they can land dates with several women at once

where I'm at pickins are super slim. there's a distinct lack of women, and us men majorly outnumber them

I need to move

I hear, in Korea, they will reciprocate when you give them coffee and kebab.

 

[Shuggananas]

Where the fuck do these people live that they can land dates with several women at once

where I'm at pickins are super slim. there's a distinct lack of women, and us men majorly outnumber them

I need to move

Maybe he has very low standards and dates whatever he can

 

[Cosmonaut X]

Where the fuck do these people live that they can land dates with several women at once

where I'm at pickins are super slim. there's a distinct lack of women, and us men majorly outnumber them

I need to move

I think this is perhaps the best combination of avatar and post possible here...

Spoiler

Sorry - not taking the piss out of your situation, but the juxtaposition was just too funny!

 

[The Elite]

Well ok then

I don't get.

People still have to come out from behind their screens when online dating. She can still have the same sort of scenario. Hell, the message system helps filter out creeps. She's cutting out a potential screening system.

Now guys with Asian preferences can pick her up directly instead of going through a service.

 

[aku:jiki]

The logic used here is impressively twisted. John was an asshole so now all men who enjoy the presence of asian women are creeps who must die. Okay then.

 

[Slayven]

This is how I feel. Cyberwarning "the internet" about a cheating asshole isn't going to accomplish much.

Yeah says more about her than him

 

[HarryKS]

Is OkCupid a paying site? How much per month?

 

[LyleLanley]

This article is pretty disgusting. Demonizing sexual preferences using this unrelated story of a womanizer (who is actually just a covertly polyamorous male).

Covertly polyamorous?

 

[entremet]

Is OkCupid a paying site? How much per month?

It's free.

You can pay for some more advanced features.

 

[Foggy]

I don't get.

People still have to come out from behind their screens when online dating. She can still have the same sort of scenario. Hell, the message system helps filter out creeps. She's cutting out a potential screening system.

Now guys with Asian preferences can pick her up directly instead of going through a service.

Online she can't force them to extend their hands when she can then show her sharp teeth. Or something. I have no clue what the hell that's supposed to mean. I bet it sounded really good in her head though.

 

[The Elite]

Covertly polyamorous?

I am short so I am vertically challenged.

Dude is a cheater which equates to covertly polyamorous. You can't be covertly poly-amorous.

 

[JC Lately]

It sounds to me like his fuck up was pretending to be exclusive when he wasn't. Let's not forget these women were sending him these messages/photos and a percentage of them were probably sleeping with him. Clearly they saw something in him. I admit that I don't know much a about OKCupid, but I'm sure there is a not-insignificant hook-up culture present. Had he just fucked around with asian women who also just want to fuck around, there wouldn't be a story here.

 

[entremet]

Digg makes content now?

Gotta chase them Buzzfeed clicks.

Yeah, they pivoted after Reddit took their audience.

Kinda crazy how they were first mover to the whole social news thing and basically ceded mindshare to Reddit due to their dumb redesigns.

Tsk tsk, Kevin Rose.