This is mostly a response to The Shadow's post, although I'll probably address some points from others (Mike Works especially) along the way.
My post had nothing to do with a personal relationship with Serafitia. I exchanged fewer than half a dozen PMs with her over the years I've been on this forum, and other than that, the only information I have about her is what's available in the mod console. I didn't even know that her real name was Sara.
If you read what I wrote carefully, you will find two things:
1) I do not condone or accept what Sera did. Passing off someone else's face as your own is wrong, and I don't care for liars in general. Carrying on that kind of deception for several YEARS is clearly a sign that there are some serious underlying issues.
2) I did not claim that this forum was the direct cause of her deception. As someone else pointed out, my observation about this forum is somewhat tangential to what Serafitia did in this particular case. Each person is responsible for the choice he/she makes, and Sera is no exception.
It might be worthwhile for me to explain how I got from point A to B, since it seems to have gotten misunderstood along the way. I simply can't comprehend why someone would want to impersonate someone else for years -- that does not compute. Taking the claim that Sera is a girl -- though not the girl in the pictures -- at face value (sorry about the pun), I was trying to put myself in her shoes to understand why she'd do such a thing. That was the starting point for making the observation about the tone of this board. The statements are not linked in any causal way. It's true that Sera did something terribly wrong, and it's also true that this board can be lousy towards women.
I disagree with the idea that if a woman wants to be left alone, she should keep her gender concealed on this board. I'm sorry, but "don't ask don't tell" is a load of crap, however it might be applied. Everyone has a right to be anonymous if he/she chooses -- that's not in question. But isn't taking pains to hide your gender also a kind of artifice? Why SHOULD people strive to be a faceless, genderless, ageless, cultureless skin to those around them? Considering that a message board THRIVES on differences in perspective, it seems that being able to share a bit about where you're coming from -- including generic data about yourself -- would be a positive thing.
The problem is that when someone admits to being female, what happens next? Either she gets hit with "I don't believe you -- you must be some pervert guy" or she gets hit on, period. If she posts pictures to prove her case, then she either gets harshly critiqued...or gets hit on. There IS a difference between, say, being a gay member of this board, and being female: I can't remember the last time someone got banned for making a derogatory comment towards women, but if you make a slur against gays, you're gone.
Should GAF be a "better place," or live by "work safe" rules? Obviously that isn't for me personally to decide. There is some truth to the idea that guys DO need to go vent, and not everything a guy says ought to be taken seriously. At the same time, your jokes reveal a lot more about your truth than you might think.
Shadow, you're absolutely right -- I should either shut up and leave quietly, or just shut up. I appreciate the fact that you cared enough to spell out your position, though -- you contributed a lot to this thread. Thanks.