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[Chavelo]

Sup GAF.

:3

Sent from my pho-

Areffghhgggggg

After the first cup of coffee. Each day.

It really gets my intestines working.

Holy shit! I thought that was just me.

Bro hug.

 

[The Super Bob]

I'll go at university if I need to go. Toilets are very clean in my buildings and inspected fairly often.

 

[Arnie]

The real worst is when you make eye contact with a man mid shit as you walk past his stall. Sometimes you don't understand why you turned your head, but you did and there you are...staring at a man struggling to release the torpedo's with a little sweat dripping from his forehead as you make your way to your stall.

then you hear the drop as you finally sit down. You guys are now connected forever in that moment. His struggle is finally over.

Wait, wherever you shit is open air? Like there's no privacy? Like you can see sweat beads on a man's head while he drops one? That's just odd.

Got no problem with taking a shit in Uni or whatever, just browse the internet on my phone whilst I go, if anyone has a problem with the noises my arse is making then fuck them, I'm sure they're no different.

 

[donkey show]

Taking a shit in my office bathroom right now. Fuck yeah.

 

[Count Dookkake]

More specifically: fecalphobia.

The correct word is 'coprophobia.'

Fecalphobia is the quadrilogy of poo.

 

[Kentpaul]

And? You are in different stalls dude. Your post reeks of being as soft as a cotton candy. You go in there, do your business, surf the net, play a game, etc. then you go back to work. You mean you are so mentally weak that natural human sounds freaks you out?

It doesn't freak me out but if it ever did happen to me i wouldn't be able to look the dude in the eye when we were both chilling at the sinks washing our hands..

I also can't take a piss if someone is standing next to me at the urinals.

(I'm a bathroom pussy)

 

[TheKaeptain]

I once found a hidden bathroom on my campus that was below the cafeteria through a door no one uses and beside a drama theater. It was glorious.

I had a place like that and let it slip one day while talking to a friend. It's never been the same.

 

[wenis]

Wait, wherever you shit is open air? Like there's no privacy? Like you can see sweat beads on a man's head while he drops one? That's just odd.

Got no problem with taking a shit in Uni or whatever, just browse the internet on my phone whilst I go, if anyone has a problem with the noises my arse is making then fuck them, I'm sure they're no different.

Nah, but there are some stalls at my university where the doors don't meet the frames and if you even take a quick peak you could give a good description of who's in the stall next to you.

It's always awkward.

 

[Arnie]

Nah, but there are some stalls at my university where the doors don't meet the frames and if you even take a quick peak you could give a good description of who's in the stall next to you.

It's always awkward.

That sounds awful.

 

[NekoFever]

No matter how bad things get, I can always read posts from Germophobe-GAF and realise that it could be worse.

Nah, but there are some stalls at my university where the doors don't meet the frames and if you even take a quick peak you could give a good description of who's in the stall next to you.

It's always awkward.

Is this an American thing? I had to go in one of those toilets on an American cruise ship and it was weird, but that's the only place I've seen one.

 

[ScOULaris]

Nah, but there are some stalls at my university where the doors don't meet the frames and if you even take a quick peak you could give a good description of who's in the stall next to you.

It's always awkward.

Yeah, that has definitely happened to me in bathroom where there is a 2-3 inch space between the stall door and the frame. If I'm shitting in a bathroom like that, however, I have some fun with it. Whenever someone walks by outside my stall, I stare through the opening all wide-eyed and crazy-like. When the occasional person turns their head and meets my gaze, I can tell that I've made them extremely uncomfortable.

PS - I think the older people get, the less they care about the shared noise aspect. Whenever I'm in a public stall next to an older guy, it sounds like he's fighting a busted sewage pipe whilst receiving a blowjob. Just constant moaning, gushing, squirting, and plopping sounds.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

My old work place was fairly clean, but sometimes I'd have to use another floor because some bastard always tended to leave this epic shit that stunk up the washroom for a week or so.

 

[FrozenCell]

the fuck you do - hold it back?

for me it's the first thing at work after making tea, then i come back, grab my tea and the workday can begin.

 

[Foxix Von]

I submit that there is no greater achievement that a man can aspire to than being paid for his shit.

 

[Murkas]

I can't go unless it's my toilet at home. I NEED my makeshift bidet, I don't see how people just use TP and call it that.

 

[HeadlessRoland]

Im not scared of germs, but unless impossible I prefer to shit in my own home. So barring extreme circumstances I refrain from shitting in foreign places. I think I took two shits at highschool. Ive shit on the job less than a dozen times ever.

 

[Plywood]

I simply refuse to believe that. I don't see how it's possible.

Hahaha, womens bathroom have more than fecal matter to deal with.

 

[weekend_warrior]

Getting paid to sit on my ass for 30 minutes and take a nice big shit was the only thing I looked forward to at work.

 

[NullPointer]

There was one guy at my last job who we banned from taking a shit at work.

The men's bathroom was real close to the receptionist area and a bunch of cubicles, and every time he took a shit, people who worked in that area had to run for cover.

It was the worst smell I've ever experienced and it would linger for an hour or more. We put air freshener in the bathroom and asked him to use it, but his shit was so pungent that it drowned out the scent of even the most potent air fresheners you could buy over-the-counter.

I finally had to ask him to stop because it was so disruptive to that corner of the office. I told him he had free license to leave anytime he wanted and go to the convenience store next door any time he felt the urge to 'drop the kids off at the pool'.

Random question: Was he a vegan?

Vegan farts and shits are honestly the worst thing I've smelled in my life. I'd rather share a room with a corpse.

 

[FOOTE]

I make my best effort to avoid pooping at work, this because I don't ever want to feel rushed. At home I can take my time, at work I really don't have that luxury.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

I dont do that in public places.

 

[effzee]

The real worst is when you make eye contact with a man mid shit as you walk past his stall. Sometimes you don't understand why you turned your head, but you did and there you are...staring at a man struggling to release the torpedo's with a little sweat dripping from his forehead as you make your way to your stall.

then you hear the drop as you finally sit down. You guys are now connected forever in that moment. His struggle is finally over.

Holy shit that was hilarious. I almost shat my pants.

Anyway I forgot to add to my routine:

I use laptop bag to conceal my accessories. I don't even need a laptop at work!

So I look all business like as I go to do my business. In the laptop bag I take with me the gloves, baby powder, baby wipes, and Colorox Wipes.

And to the guy wondering how someone can just use TP, well I can't. Coming from South Asia where we basically give our asses a shower after each shit, it was very difficult to even imagine just using TP. Baby wipes are a good substitute. Of course the first thing I do when I get home is shower anyway.

 

[Murkas]

And to the guy wondering how someone can just use TP, well I can't. Coming from South Asia where we basically give our asses a shower after each shit, it was very difficult to even imagine just using TP. Baby wipes are a good substitute. Of course the first thing I do when I get home is shower anyway.

Yeah due to my Kurdish background we also believe in blasting your ass with water after wiping. There have been times where I've been #2 in public and only have TP available and it's the most horrible feeling in the world. My ass will itch non stop and I'll feel so dirty and just wanna get home so I can shower

Bidets should be the law everywhere.

 

[ScOULaris]

Anyway I forgot to add to my routine:

I use laptop bag to conceal my accessories. I don't even need a laptop at work!

So I look all business like as I go to do my business. In the laptop bag I take with me the gloves, baby powder, baby wipes, and Colorox Wipes.

So your coworkers find it completely normal that you bring your laptop into the bathroom when you go to take a shit?

Also, have you considered the fact that you're a full-blown germophobe? I'm not trying to antagonistic, but that sort of routine is beyond ridiculous. Gloves? Powdering your ass when you're done? That goes way beyond cultural differences. You need help. That is, of course, if you're not trolling.

 

[Dr.Horrible]

So, with all this pooing at work talk, what are the opinions for talking while dropping deuces? Personally, I don't care to talk to anyone while I, or them, are doing it, butt for some reason there is always 1 or 2 guys who like to just chat it up.

 

[ScOULaris]

So, with all this pooing at work talk, what are the opinions for talking while dropping deuces? Personally, I don't care to talk to anyone while I, or them, are doing it, butt for some reason there is always 1 or 2 guys who like to just chat it up.

You mean they try talking to you between stalls while you're both shitting, or are you referring to two friends talking to each other while shitting as you listen from your stall?

If it's the former, that's fucking weird. The latter isn't so bad. I've talked to my friend from stall-to-stall as we pushed out some soft-serve chocolate ice cream in a public bathroom, but only if nobody else is in there.

 

[WorriedCitizen]

I usualy have a 4 to 6 on the Bristol Stool Chart. That means i have to go 2-3 times a day. And yes that's mostly at work.

It would be a nightmare if i had to hold it for 8 hours because of some douchebag co-workers who feel offended by a little shit smell.

 

[Foxy Fox 39]

So your coworkers find it completely normal that you bring your laptop into the bathroom when you go to take a shit?

Also, have you considered the fact that you're a full-blown germophobe? I'm not trying to antagonistic, but that sort of routine is beyond ridiculous. Gloves? Powdering your ass when you're done? That goes way beyond cultural differences. You need help. That is, of course, if you're not trolling.

The baby powder and the gloves are excessive but man those wipes sound nice.

 

[Dr.Horrible]

You mean they try talking to you between stalls while you're both shitting, or are you referring to two friends talking to each other while shitting as you listen from your stall?

If it's the former, that's fucking weird. The latter isn't so bad. I've talked to my friend from stall-to-stall as we made chocolate mousse in a public bathroom, but only if nobody else is in there.

Definitely the former. Someone is on the shitter and conversing with another person in the bathroom. It is indeed absolutely weird. One guy came into the bathroom and said something to the effect of "Who am I partying with?" and he routinely engages others as well. I avoid him.

 

[effzee]

Yeah due to my Kurdish background we also believe in blasting your ass with water after wiping. There have been times where I've been #2 in public and only have TP available and it's the most horrible feeling in the world. My ass will itch non stop and I'll feel so dirty and just wanna get home so I can shower

Bidets should be the law everywhere.

AGREED. The one or two times I had to do with TP only I felt like I had shit stains all over my pants and everyone could see or smell. Of course at home I blast that ass with water.

So your coworkers find it completely normal that you bring your laptop into the bathroom when you go to take a shit?

Also, have you considered the fact that you're a full-blown germophobe? I'm not trying to antagonistic, but that sort of routine is beyond ridiculous. Gloves? Powdering your ass when you're done? That goes way beyond cultural differences. You need help. That is, of course, if you're not trolling.

I work in a hospital. 18 floors and 2 blocks long. No one really knows where I am going. Its quite easy to "hide" plus I need a bag anyway because I bring my books to take to school after work.

I know I am not a full blown germophobe. I am no where near as careful or anal about anything else. Just pooping at work at first was a big phobia and "disgusting" to me but this routine helps me relax and drop massive logs with ease and comfort.

The baby powder is not for cleanliness, its more for a good fresh feeling.

 

[Solo]

Anyway I forgot to add to my routine:

I use laptop bag to conceal my accessories. I don't even need a laptop at work!

So I look all business like as I go to do my business. In the laptop bag I take with me the gloves, baby powder, baby wipes, and Colorox Wipes.

Your co-workers mock you. Of this, I am certain.

 

[Stat Flow]

I don't shit anywhere but in my bathrooms at home. Ew.

Except when I truly cannot hold it, but that has only happened about three or four times in my life. Twice in high school, once at my previous job, and another in public, I think at Best Buy.

 

[bbagwell]

butt for some reason

Har.

 

[Parts]

I just love shitting, so I'm giving this a big yes.

 

[Sappy113]

Not that shitting at work can't lead to some problems. At my previous job, we just had two small, single-toilet bathrooms for an office of about 18 people. For whatever reason, I tend to clog toilets about 60% of the time when I drop a log. Whenever this happened at work I would usually just flush once or twice more and be done with it, but one day that wasn't enough. Once I laid a turd loaf so immense that it simply would not go down. With each flush it held its ground firmly in the hole at the bottom of the toilet. As the water rushed and swirled all around it, my turd remained upright and solid as a rock. It was almost as if it was looking up at me, gazing into my soul and saying, "You created me, now you've gotta deal with me. I'm not going anywhere, pal." Despite all of my desperate attempts to flush it, I had to eventually relent and concede victory to my mud monkey. We didn't have a plunger (to my knowledge), so I walked over to my desk and then returned to the bathroom door with a Post-It note. I wrote "Out of Order" on it and stuck it to the door. I figured I'd use the "marinate" method and wait an hour or so before trying to flush it down again.

Long-story-short, I had to explain to my boss THE NEXT DAY why I had placed an Out of Order sign on the bathroom door. He went in with a plunger and had to practically beat my my turd into submission. Suffice to say, that was an awkward moment.

I laughed so hard from this story, I had to go take a shit right after.

With that being said, yea, take a dump at work every day.

 

[Heretic]

Woohoo!

Your annual pay for pooping is $8840

 

[effzee]

Your co-workers mock you. Of this, I am certain.

One of them I know for a fact does something similar and he has been there for 10 + years. Don't work in cubicles or work next to another co-worker. We have shops and I have my own locked cabinets. Everything is concealed.

 

[The_Squirrel_Menace]

Anyone remember that episode from how i met your mother where marshal had issue with pooping at work?

Great episode.

 

[parrotbeak]

If you don't use baby powder yourself, the smell is pretty obvious. You probably smell like a freshly changed baby. Not that that's a bad thing.

 

[dantehemi]

always, when you gotta go you gotta go!

 

[ScOULaris]

Woohoo!

Your annual pay for pooping is $8840

Good lord, how much do you get paid? I did the calculator, and your annual poop salary is literally 20x mine. That can't be right.

 

[caffeinated]

I do it every day. You gotta do what you gotta do.

 

[Oozinator]

Yeah due to my Kurdish background we also believe in blasting your ass with water after wiping. There have been times where I've been #2 in public and only have TP available and it's the most horrible feeling in the world. My ass will itch non stop and I'll feel so dirty and just wanna get home so I can shower

Bidets should be the law everywhere.

Maybe Asian asses are more hairy and tend to accumulate dingle-berries, hence the need for a more intensive cleaning using water water

 

[ScrabbleDude]

My poop salary is about $4500. Now there's a number I like. Puts it all in perspective.

 

[effzee]

If you don't use baby powder yourself, the smell is pretty obvious. You probably smell like a freshly changed baby. Not that that's a bad thing.

I will put a light amount of baby powder on my back as well. I guess I do smell like baby. Don't mind. I like how babies smell.

 

[eosos]

Women's bathrooms can arguably be worse then mens.

100% true. I clean bathrooms at my work (Yeah, it's a shitty job) and the mens bathrooms are so much nicer than the womens. I constantly will find pieces of toilet paper of the floor and shit in the womens toilets. So gross. I even find bloody toilet paper and tampons on the floor.

 

[kittens]

The only place I refuse to poop is Powell's Books in Portland, Oregon. Anyone been there? The stalls in the men's bathroom are terrible. The walls on the sides are raised about 2.5 feet off the ground, so that when you're sitting on the toilet, people can easily see the lower part of your thighs. And when you stand up, the walls are low enough for anyone over 5'5" to see over. I assume it's to prevent people from smuggling books into the stalls and shoving them in their bags, but regardless, it's fucking creepy.

Other then that, I'll poop just about anywhere.

 

[Stairs]

When I take a work poo-poo, I try and stifle my poo-poo burps because they're so embarrassing.

 

[Vilam]

Ironic, I was just about to head to the bathroom when I spotted this thread. I'll report back in 15 mins guys.

 

[owlbeak]

Just figured out how immature I was as I read this thread and laughed at the majority of posts.