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Virgin- Gaf: What is holding you back?
- Thread starter FreeMufasa
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sonikokaruto
Banned
oh god, how did this happened
hope you're alright kevini'm 31 and still carring my V-card, and it's nothing to be ashamed or feel bad about, it's just something stupid that other people who've done mistakes want you to make too (envy of taking things slow)
all of my friends are married with shitty jobs and a family. most of them with wives they don't even like.
I have a good job, and i've accomplished most of what i wanted to do and what i still want to do is something still attainable.
don't give it that much importance
Deified Data
Banned
You just do it and get it over with. They probably get hit on multiple times a night so try to distinguish yourself somehow. There's no right time to do it - the time is always wrong.
Bartenders are probably one of the few types I don't try hard to go for just because they are usually the ones that have the least amount of patience. They basically have to serve drinks to loud as people all night so most of the time. Tho still try if your up for it
This post makes me really, really, really angry.
On topic. To those still seeking the disposal of their v card I can't totally understand your situation but I can give you my own sentiment: sex with someone you don't care about or feel uncomfortable around is worse than no sex. In my opinion, of course. Lost my virginity at the wrong time to the wrong person. Did it because my friends were and I felt the pressure. Blech. Took me a few years to stop actively regretting it.
Road of Ease
Member
I'm 25 years old, gay, a virgin, and live in Brazil, a country I mostly don't relate to. Now I know how blessed I am by the fact that I never felt the urge to attempt suicide. Learning english (and this forum) saved my life, in a sense. It put me in contact with intelligent thoughts from intelligent people and made me feel like I'm not alone.
I still have sociability issues, but after joining a Streetpass (3DS) club here and meeting other gamers, I feel some improvement in that area. But reading about "expecting rewards" and "making social experiences fun in their own right" made me think about my interactions.
To me, being social is not always fun, sometimes it feels like a chore. Also, I have a hard time keeping contact with friends and family, my primary impulse is just to stay at my room using the internet for hours (right now it's 1 AM and I've been here since 10 PM yesterday).
I know it's unhealthy and I desperately want to treat it. But ironically, this helped me accept that I'm gay, because compared to ^this, it's the least of my problems...
I still have sociability issues, but after joining a Streetpass (3DS) club here and meeting other gamers, I feel some improvement in that area. But reading about "expecting rewards" and "making social experiences fun in their own right" made me think about my interactions.
To me, being social is not always fun, sometimes it feels like a chore. Also, I have a hard time keeping contact with friends and family, my primary impulse is just to stay at my room using the internet for hours (right now it's 1 AM and I've been here since 10 PM yesterday).
I know it's unhealthy and I desperately want to treat it. But ironically, this helped me accept that I'm gay, because compared to ^this, it's the least of my problems...
Yeah, that's the thing. The two times that I managed to pull it off were nights when it was slow. Now that I'm on the other side of the bar I can tell you that I greatly appreciate a friendly conversation when time permits.
Ace Harding
Member
I somehow doubt that most obese people just forgot to try exercising and eating right. Obesity can be incredibly, incredibly challenging and as difficult (or more difficult) to overcome than any drug addiction.
killer rin
Member
Well, for me I'm a second year in college in a STEM program and I'm more focused on my education than I am in trying to get into a relationship/have sex. Though in Highschool, when I did try to get into a relationship, it was my tourettes that scared everyone away. Whenever I'm nervous they always act up in the form of facial tics -.-
I won't give any advice on family, but I see it like this if you want to go out and socialize with complete strangers:
There are 7 billion goddamn people on the planet, why not get to know some of them? If you think if socializing as a means to an end (sex or whatever) then of course it's going to feel like "required busywork". I haven't done much in the way of going out often enough but I am definitely done with the avoiding people phase in my life. Introduce yourself to someone else and let them introduce themselves to you. At the very worst you might learn something from them about some topic you never knew before, or you might one day have a story of "hey, I met someone that ..." or if you happen to bump into them some time later down the line it'll brighten up your day when you recognize them or s/he recognizes you.
i was 300 pounds up until about 3 years ago, lost about 80 pounds and built some muscle. i gained a lot of confidence but.... i also have phimosis, a condition where your foreskin doesn't open up, so while i think i could start a steady relationship with a girl, but i'm way too ashamed of my inability to have sex. i'm 25 and i've never retracted my foreskin because i'm too scared of the pain. i've tried stretching it manually, but it hurts quite a bit and i'm too embarrassed to get surgery/some kind of treatment to fix it.
i'm scared i'll die alone becuz of this.
i'm scared i'll die alone becuz of this.
Thunder Monkey
Banned
Depending on who you ask I'm either a virgin or not.
Penis has been in a vagina, but lost erection when she questioned if we'd started. Both of us had a few drinks and my penis is just a tiny bit over 4 inches long... and girth that is about equal to my thumb. That hurt an already bruised ego.
In a little over a month I'll be 30 years old.
Penis has been in a vagina, but lost erection when she questioned if we'd started. Both of us had a few drinks and my penis is just a tiny bit over 4 inches long... and girth that is about equal to my thumb. That hurt an already bruised ego.
In a little over a month I'll be 30 years old.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Is anyone else tired of mufasas bullshit?
Thunder Monkey
Banned
What I wonder is why he started on this trek to begin with.
Guess he just decided he wanted to be a joke poster? Because his posts before were fairly normal.
why didn't you make this post upon the creation of this thread
Thunder Monkey
Banned
I'm over it.
I have an advantage over others on this. I have no problem with living off pity blowjobs.
Road of Ease
Member
Actually, my problem is not meeting new people, but keeping contact with the ones I know.
I can spend weeks without calling or visiting my parents for example. There were times when my mom would get passive-agressive when calling me ("Do you not have a mom? I'm still alive, you know") and it made me feel like shit, but now she's so used to it she stopped saying that. I haven't visited my father in months. Whenever I do, he says "thank you for coming" (truthfully, no sarcasm), which makes me feel guilty. Inner-searchings always go to the "am I incapable of love?" line of questioning, which is quite scary and may be more suitable to an analyst.
The same goes to my friends. I used to be the host, the one who made plans for the movies or for gaming weekends playing GameCube, but now it's like I lost all drive or imagination. I feel like my friends have other friends or girlfriends or plans and I don't have their attention. It frustrates me that I'm the one calling them and they're rarely the ones calling me. And I feel that those might be selfish thoughts, but I have nothing to replace them with.
That's the spirit!
spiderman123
Member
brianjones
Member
i just wanna knock boots is that too much to ask
i was 300 pounds up until about 3 years ago, lost about 80 pounds and built some muscle. i gained a lot of confidence but.... i also have phimosis, a condition where your foreskin doesn't open up, so while i think i could start a steady relationship with a girl, but i'm way too ashamed of my inability to have sex. i'm 25 and i've never retracted my foreskin because i'm too scared of the pain. i've tried stretching it manually, but it hurts quite a bit and i'm too embarrassed to get surgery/some kind of treatment to fix it.
i'm scared i'll die alone becuz of this.
A lifetime of wishing things were different isn't worth the embarassment of having a few doctors who've seen MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH worse, and see much worse ROUTINELY, see that your foreskin is slightly off.
nah he's still fucking hilarious. at least to me.
You felt obligated to post this? How does this help anyone?
I dropped friends who gave me shit about me being a virgin, and I don't regret it.
It's left me with a consequence of not having local contacts though.
I think I can understand what led to KevinCow's actions as some of us can relate how shitty society can be in terms of expectations. Some of us just hang tough, and that's the best we can do. Not easy for everyone though.
It's left me with a consequence of not having local contacts though.
I think I can understand what led to KevinCow's actions as some of us can relate how shitty society can be in terms of expectations. Some of us just hang tough, and that's the best we can do. Not easy for everyone though.
Spring-Loaded
Member
But at what cost?
What a mess. I understand finding a partner is very important for people, but to contemplate suicide over virginity? And I mention this because this other guy with the "This is NeoGAF" avatar also mentioned it. Come on, guys. There have to be underlying issues there.
At 21 I lost my virginity also a bit "late" (lol, it's dumb to assume we all should lose it BEFORE some determined point IMO), and because of that I find it so silly that people put so much importance in such an insignificant thing.
At 21 I lost my virginity also a bit "late" (lol, it's dumb to assume we all should lose it BEFORE some determined point IMO), and because of that I find it so silly that people put so much importance in such an insignificant thing.
Crash Station
Member
i was 300 pounds up until about 3 years ago, lost about 80 pounds and built some muscle. i gained a lot of confidence but.... i also have phimosis, a condition where your foreskin doesn't open up, so while i think i could start a steady relationship with a girl, but i'm way too ashamed of my inability to have sex. i'm 25 and i've never retracted my foreskin because i'm too scared of the pain. i've tried stretching it manually, but it hurts quite a bit and i'm too embarrassed to get surgery/some kind of treatment to fix it.
i'm scared i'll die alone becuz of this.
Not quite as bad, but I got hypospadia, which also sucks. Always gotta pee after ejaculation. Makes me think the first sex will be even more awkward, since I'll immediately have to get up and go to the bathroom.
Fortunately, there's a good chance she'll just storm off, giving me a great opportunity to pee! That should give me a good night's sleep.
BravesCountry
Banned
Trust me man I ended up parting ways with my longtime girlfriend for several reasons, one of which being she was the only girl I had had sex with up into that point in my life, and I thought there was a vast world of adventure out there because of advice from friends and society in general. We had been dating for 3 years, 2 years in college, and while I loved her to death our relationship had become somewhat routine and it had become this insatiable seed of doubt in my head that only being with one woman the rest of my life would be a huge mistake. Well, after having been on that world of adventure that everyone had been raving about, it turns out I found it extremely overrated and I just want my girlfriend back. I miss her so damn much but unfortunately I think I blew it.
just say you have to clean up/remove condom and piss at the same time? that shouldn't be TOO awkward.
BravesCountry
Banned
Peeing after sex is quite common, I wouldn't worry about that at all.
i was 300 pounds up until about 3 years ago, lost about 80 pounds and built some muscle. i gained a lot of confidence but.... i also have phimosis, a condition where your foreskin doesn't open up, so while i think i could start a steady relationship with a girl, but i'm way too ashamed of my inability to have sex. i'm 25 and i've never retracted my foreskin because i'm too scared of the pain. i've tried stretching it manually, but it hurts quite a bit and i'm too embarrassed to get surgery/some kind of treatment to fix it.
i'm scared i'll die alone becuz of this.
Just go talk to a doctor, man. They can help you, that's what they're there for! You can be sure they've been confronted with much more embarrassing situations. It's not like phimosis is some 1 in a billion, super-rare condition.
While it's obviously not something that should drive someone to suicide, it can be pretty discouraging the longer it goes on because you're constantly reminded of it through a lot of different channels.
spiderman123
Member
This is me right here. I've always regretted breaking up with my first gf. I know it is unfair to my current gf but there were moments during my relationship with my first GF that no other girl has been able to achieve. I was being selfish and stupid when I broke up with her believing in the "why settle for one" mentality. Fuck was I stupid when I was younger.
if youre suggesting he's in anyway responsible for this, then you are sadly mistaken. nobody has to respond to his posts, or even read them.
Crash Station
Member
Good to know. I just hate getting up whenever I'm sleeping in the same room as someone else. I think I eventually got over that when I was living on campus, but that was 4 years ago.
I know this is different, though.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
If you went back in time and told that to your past self, would he have believed you? It's weird how you have since come to that conclusion, but (probably) only because of your post-breakup experiences. If you hadn't broken up, who's to say that you would have still come to the same conclusion, or would if you be still wallowing in that same curious regret that caused you to break up in the first place? An ignorant and unjustified regret, sure, but without your experiences, your eyes might not have been opened to the truth that you now feel.
ColonelColon
Member
It's rarely as simple as "I can't live with being a virgin anymore!!1"
I imagine that in a lot of cases, loneliness, low self-esteem, a general lack of interest or enthusiasm about anything, and a sense of helplessness are also heavily involved. It's one thing to have a "dry spell," but it's another thing entirely to be fully convinced that you'll be alone and miserable for the rest of your life. I think virginity itself is more like a symptom of the disease.
I imagine that in a lot of cases, loneliness, low self-esteem, a general lack of interest or enthusiasm about anything, and a sense of helplessness are also heavily involved. It's one thing to have a "dry spell," but it's another thing entirely to be fully convinced that you'll be alone and miserable for the rest of your life. I think virginity itself is more like a symptom of the disease.
it's not that big of a deal. girls often have to pee after sex too bro.
and throughout the night.
don't stress small details like that.
brianjones
Member
you gotta clear the pipes after laying pipe
I'm already ready for this.
Been thoroughly convinced I'll never be that ideal man that is tall and handsome who has a heartwarming voice and/or makes 6-7 figures.
It also doesn't help I don't have any friends who see me on weekends. The nerd crowd I thought who were my friends just shun me because I didn't choose Masters or higher education nor do I make money as much as they do. I try to chat with them but they always give excuses that they're busy and they don't have time to respond to my e-mails or texts.
It doesn't change the fact that having sex for the first time is hardly a life-changing experience and the "relief" it causes is more of a "lol guise I finally belong! I'm awesome" thing than... uh, a real accomplishment, in my opinion. Sex isn't special, every single human being out there exists because people have sex. It's fine if you have it, it's fine if you don't. Honestly it's been ages since I had sex and I don't feel any worse. But that's just me, it's different for everyone, I guess :/
I feel like GAF is becoming less welcoming to nerds and more about beating up on them, as some kind of unsolicited "tough love" from people you don't even know.
Granted, I'm a pretty silly poster and I haven't really had my feelings hurt, but holy fuck is the culture here getting mean. So what if guys aren't so good with girls? You don't need to beat them into social correctness, they're still (often) adults.
Granted, I'm a pretty silly poster and I haven't really had my feelings hurt, but holy fuck is the culture here getting mean. So what if guys aren't so good with girls? You don't need to beat them into social correctness, they're still (often) adults.
It's not even about the sex itself. It's about removing the stigma of being a virgin.
Getting mean? It's already BEEN there for some time now. This forum is fucking vicious at times, like no other forum I have ever seen.
Is it GAF, or just certain posters? I don't feel like the culture as a whole here has become that hostile.
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