This is true, that shit fucks with you as the years pass by. I'm sure a lot people saying "being in a relationship isn't all that great" or "it isn't that important" have a girlfriend/boyfriend right now or have had one in the past. I'm sure for you people being in a relationship is second nature, a normal, everyday thing. But when you've been successful in pretty everything else in life but for some reason you keep failing when it comes to dating and relationships you can't help but feel like shit.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Virgin- Gaf: What is holding you back?
- Thread starter FreeMufasa
- Start date
- Status
This is true, that shit fucks with you as the years pass by. I'm sure a lot people saying "being in a relationship isn't all that great" or "it isn't that important" have a girlfriend/boyfriend right now or have had one in the past. I'm sure for you people being in a relationship is second nature, a normal, everyday thing. But when you've been successful in pretty everything else in life but for some reason you keep failing when it comes to dating and relationships you can't help but feel like shit.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
On the subject of weight loss, it'll help, but it isn't close to being everything. I've lost 80 pounds since my peak weight. It will open new doors, but it won't matter if you still have social issues. =/
Crimsonclaw111
Member
You should always pee after sex anyway, especially if you're female.
I think the OT has always resisted Gaming side TBH. It's only natural.
Crash Station
Member
Which shouldn't be a stigma at all.
BravesCountry
Banned
It's a real life catch-22 for sure, I just wish I hadn't been so dumb but only hindsight is 20-20. I took a lot of things for granted in the relationship that I only know now after breaking up and if I had stayed in the relationship this wouldn't have changed. Maybe if she would take me back it would all be for the better but it seems she is moving on in her life.
Agreed.
It'll never go away because society is just plain mean.
Also doesn't help society worships hollywood which constantly pokes fun at this "defect" all the time.
Really is a low-blow for those who keep perpetuating it.
No.
See, I haven't dated anyone in... wowz, probably 9 months or more. That means no sex (WTF why am I talking about this
) and no boyfriend. I haven't been incredibly lucky with guys. And I repeat - it's not really important, people being over-gloomy about virginity probably have other issues. Enjoy life, life is about more than ejaculating, I swear.well the inverse is purity culture which is far more damaging.
spiderman123
Member
Prioritizing sex above anything else in a relationship always dooms the relationship and even dulls the experience imo
The extremes of most things only tell one side of a coin.
I understand the fat shaming being allowed in Gaf since its a reflection of how poorly this site's admin felt about himself when he was like that, but its bullshit the insidious mockery and sense of inhumanity that some people are trying to instill on others in this thread based on a lack of genital fluid exchange.
That "Work harder" meme does not always work because some people lack proper guidance and share different backgrounds, stick to reading Ayn Rand books and avoid giving advice at all costs you fucking supermens.
That "Work harder" meme does not always work because some people lack proper guidance and share different backgrounds, stick to reading Ayn Rand books and avoid giving advice at all costs you fucking supermens.
You've never read reddit, 4chan, something awful?
All the same thing, or even worse at times. There's flat out murderers on those forums.
Necromanti
Member
Losing one's virginity means little if one is still in the same situation after. Okay, so you've had sex once. If you're still struggling with finding people after that, then...what's the difference, really?
Crash Station
Member
There should be a healthy middle ground. Virgins can totally enjoy a good fap every now and then while also not having to worry about being heavily criticized for their lack of a very specific experience.
I was in my early twenties before my first time as well. Yes, it usually feels silly that you made a big deal about sex after you lose your virginity. However, when you are still a virgin, it does feel like a big deal. I'll admit that I started having doubts as to whether it would ever happen for me as I was approaching the end of my undergrad. I was extremely shy, and uncomfortable in large groups. I was even worse off when I was around girls I found attractive. It all seemed pretty hopeless at the time.
However, I made the good decision to get some counselling. I know people have had mixed success with therapy, but they gave me some strategies for meeting people and making friends. Within a few months I had developed a social circle of people who actually invited me out to do stuff. Shortly after that, I had a girl friend. I am currently 31 and have been married just shy of 4 years. At 21, I would have told you that I would probably end up alone for life. I'm still totally an introvert, and am usually not excited about the prospects of going to larger social gatherings, but I feel like I can manage a lot better than I did as a teenager/young adult.
Schattenjäger
Gabriel Knight
I remember growing up and being a fat nerdy kid who was scared of girls..
One time me and my friends hopped on the subway,they took me to the mall and tried hooking me up with random girls (for laughs).. I got rejected over 10 times... After all the rejection and being laughed at, I walked home by myself crying the whole time ..
Eventually 2 things helped me get my groove:
1) losing weight
And more importantly
2) working retail (5th ave in manhattan)
When you are forced to approach strangers, it becomes easier and easier and you eventually become good at it
Dressing in nice clothes and losing weight also helped
Virgin-gaf.. Everyone moves at their own pace in life .. Just keep doing things to better yourself and it will eventually happen
One time me and my friends hopped on the subway,they took me to the mall and tried hooking me up with random girls (for laughs).. I got rejected over 10 times... After all the rejection and being laughed at, I walked home by myself crying the whole time ..
Eventually 2 things helped me get my groove:
1) losing weight
And more importantly
2) working retail (5th ave in manhattan)
When you are forced to approach strangers, it becomes easier and easier and you eventually become good at it
Dressing in nice clothes and losing weight also helped
Virgin-gaf.. Everyone moves at their own pace in life .. Just keep doing things to better yourself and it will eventually happen
Sho_Nuff82
Member
For me it wasn't just about sex, it was just as much about intimacy. Before my first physical relationship, I'd never been in a meaningful relationship at all (through HS and undergrad). Combine that with having few friends and/or low self esteem, and you can see why it drives some people to grief. The idea that no one wants to be around you isn't one that's easy to brush off as "no big deal", especially when everyone around you doesn't seem to have that problem.
Been to reddit, haven't taken part in actual discussion there in over a year. Left after a year because meme spam. Not sure how it compares now, but wouldn't be surprised to hear it is similar in ways.
Visit 4chan fairly regularly (which isn't just /b/ by the way). Compared to the boards I visit, yes, I see GAF as being a lot more mean spirited.
Never been to SA.
Here's the big difference between 4chan + Reddit and GAF: Those websites are far more popular than NeoGAF. There are so many more people using those forums at the same time, reading your stuff, posting, and so on. Being an asshole on NeoGAF carries far more weight, IMO, because this is smaller more tight-knit community. Getting banned here for being a douche carries far more weight than getting banned from a subreddit or 4chan. You say they're the same thing, which is funny to me, because I expect far better of this website than I do Reddit and 4chan.
Deified Data
Banned
Haha, how quaint. Like a finger in a dike.
GAF is fine. Sure, you'll find the occasional poster that wants to wow everyone with their worldly experience and end up coming off as a dick, but most people are genuinely well-meaning. The only regular instances of "anti-nerd" behavior I've seen is when nerd culture starts to steer into "Nice Guy" territory. The two are inexorably linked, it can't be helped.
Now, the whole "dickishness disguised as tough love" definitely exists on GAF, but you'll find it aimed more at overweight people than nerds.
There's also an expectation (this is the case for me, anyway) that you're playing with fire if you take 4chan seriously, particularly due to its anonymous posting. I would think most people have different expectations in regards to their posting experience here compared to 4chan.
I've only been on GAF for a few months, so I can't say what it was like before that, but I feel the same way too. Apart from being condescending and insulting, tough love doesn't work on adults. By that stage you've already established certain beliefs about yourself. It takes a lot of work to change those beliefs.
Serious-GAF in general bums me out.
If you start paying attention to usernames, it's the same people doing this in every thread. Some of them just happen to be prolific posters. I wouldn't say that GAF is mean spirited because a couple hundred posters can be assholes at times (or are trying too hard to be the next celebrity joke poster). There are thousands of posters on this forum.
My wife likes to say that it takes ten positive comments to cancel out a single hurtful comment. There's probably some truth in that.
No.
See, I haven't dated anyone in... wowz, probably 9 months or more. That means no sex (WTF why am I talking about this
I'm not talking about having sex, I'm talking about being in a relationship with someone you care about and have feelings for. Sex is not important to me, if it happens it happens, but I do have the desire to be in a relationship and just have a new experience that is completely different from my everyday life. I want to experience something new and different, I want to experience the highs and lows of being in a relationship, I want to feel like the luckiest man alive and I want to feel the shittiness of breaking up.
It's similar to wanting to skydive or climb a huge mountain, it's the thrill of experiencing something new and different. Having sex won't make me change the way I am. Like I mentioned before, I don't have any social skills issues. I'm in shape, I'm well off and I have plenty of friends and I have fun every day of my life. Having sex won't change any of that. I do admit that I get depressed at times but even though I feel depressed I still enjoy life. I'm not a good-looking guy and I'm fairly short so I know finding a girl to be in a relationship with won't be easy. A lot of girls like my personality but none of them find me attractive so I know it's an uphill battle, which I've been losing for plenty of years, which is why I sometimes feel like giving up.
If I can't accomplish what I want, which is to experience something new then there's no point in continuing to live, at least that's the way I see it.
Deified Data
Banned
Now just hang out in Gaming-side a while since this thread obviously isn't doing you any favors.
- Status