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We just had a drunk home intruder

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Askani

Member
It's like 7:30 in the morning here now and there's no way I can go back to sleep. Wall O' Text incoming:

So this started about 5 a.m. We were awoken by a knock at the door. I wake the girlfriend up and say, "Hey...what? Someone's at the door?" She says, "Huh. Ok." I throw on some clothes and go to see what's happening. She's standing outside the bedroom watching. I go to the door and I see a shorter guy sort of slumped against my entry door, but still standing. The screen door is open and up against is back. I say "Can I help you?" Originally, I thought he said "I'm hurt" but now I realize he said "I'm home". I open the door a crack to find out what kind of hurt it is. He started to lean against the door and I said "Hold on." He keeps pushing. I said, "You don't live here" and he says "Yes I do". He pushes and I push but I'm in house shoes so my feet are slipping. I say again that he doesn't live here and he again he says "Yes I do". Suddenly he's inside standing in my living room and I'm wondering what the fuck I'm going to do now. He was wobbling a little bit and you could easily could smell the alcohol on him.

"Why are you guys in my house?" he says. I told him we live here and we have lived here for like 4 years. He says he's lived here for like 6. My girlfriend is chorusing what I'm saying but the conversation isn't going anywhere. No one is yelling, but we're all pretty on edge. I have her call the police and I'm trying to get her to back up into the first bedroom. He said he's going to take a shower. What? In my head I'm like, "Ok well if this guy goes into the bathroom and starts showering or whatever he'll be in there for a few minutes and that will give the cops time to arrive and they can deal with him." I can't get her to move to let him into the bathroom. The hallway has access to the bathroom and three bedrooms, the bathroom being the first room. I have two daughters who are asleep in the second bedroom. Her fight or flight is in full effect and she's standing her ground at the end of the hallway. She's not really listening to me. She backs up in to the doorway of the first bedroom slightly. I've taken a position in front of my girls' bedroom door. That's my line. I'm content to let him go into the bathroom but she is not.

He's a small but strong-ish looking Hispanic guy. Maybe 5' 7". She's 5' 10" and...very stout. I'm saying to him how we just need talk and lets all calm down. He wants to get by to the bathroom. That's just what he's focused on. He takes a step or two forward. She just isn't going to allow him any farther because she's already mentally drawn her line as the end of the hallway and no further. She takes a step forward and shoves him and he falls back and lands on his ass. He gets up and says "Daaaaamn" and looks at me. "You better control your female" he says. I tell her again to "Back up" and I say to him again this is our house and we're not moving out of the way and that he doesn't live here. She's wedged herself in the way and she's not going to listen to me. It was very surreal. He reaches under her arm with his hand extended to shake my hand very gently. He's like "It's okay homie, we'll figure this out. I ain't got any problems with you." then immediately looks at her with a stern look and says "Move." He is trying to push past her again. He's not moving her. I'm suddenly stuck because I'm the last line of defense for my kids but I'm watching her block this guy out like 2 feet in front of me. She shoves him again and he falls back on his ass a second time. I move up and get between them and I'm just like "WHOA! Everyone calm down!" There was a board in the bedroom. It was a bed slat to hold a mattress up for a twin bed that I hadn't taken to the garage yet. I handed it to her and moved her back into the bedroom and said "Call the police again...right now." I turn to him and say "Listen, I have two little girls in the next bedroom. You're not going any farther. This is our home." He's getting up and says "Yo...control your female." My girlfriend is full on crying now and I can hear her on the phone again to the police. Again, he reaches out real gently and shakes my hand.

He starts to look around. Suddenly, thankfully, he kind of starts putting shit together in his head. "I don't know nothing about no little girls." He says he wants a cigarette and he's looking around really confused. I'm like sure, let's go do exactly that. I say "Let's go outside and have a smoke." He says yeah and and starts to walk to the front door. He says "Sorry." and keeps walking. I manage to get him to go out first. I immediately have to make a decision here. I'm getting him calmly outside but I realize I have the option to shove him hard and he'll fall a couple steps down to the sidewalk and I can lock the door...or I can walk outside. I choose to just step outside. He's never made an aggressive move toward me. I don't know if it's because of my size (6'1" and 265) or what. Now, we're standing on my porch. He has a lighter but he can't find his cigarettes. I go in and get an old pack I had and a lighter. I tell my girlfriend I'm outside with him and we're going to smoke and he's calm. She's on the phone with the police still and give a quick description of his clothing. I debated to have her lock the door behind me but I chose not too. I didn't want to do anything to possibly have him not be calm anymore.

I go back to the porch and we started smoking. He just starts apologizing. "I didn't know." "I didn't realize." "I'm very sorry." I tell him again about why we reacted they way he did and he's 100% understanding of this. He says he lives a street over. "I didn't mean to fuck with your family. I'm real sorry." We each smoke another one. I get him a glass of water. I'm literally doing everything I can to keep him right where he is. He says he wants to walk home and I start to walk to the street with him. The cops finally pull up real gently with no lights on as we get to the end of our driveway. I find out later that the girlfriend was able to tell the 911 dispatcher that I had him outside and he was calm so they slow rolled up to the house. They do the usual asking for ID and stuff. He doesn't have one, of course. I find out his name is Juan and he's 25. His brother is Irving and 24 and it's his brother's house he's trying to get to. He can't remember his address exactly. Cops ask for his phone. They tried calling his brother on it but he didn't answer. Finally they get his address out of him and decide they are going to take him home. They put him in a squad car and take him up the block. I'm walking back inside and I see his keys on the ground. I pick them up, hop in my car and drive up to where they are to give them to the cops. The officer thanks me and says "We were just looking for those to get him inside." At this time the brother opens the door and the cops talk to him them as I'm driving away.

So I got out of this situation. I guess I'm really at fault because I should have never opened the door in the first place? I'm going to install a chain or a bar latch today sometime. Also I'm getting a baseball bat for the bedroom. We don't own a gun. What if we did? When he tried to push past her I suspect would have gotten it or immediately had her go get it. Would he have gotten aggressive as a response and it would have escalated? Now I just get to think about it all day. We're going to take the kids to the Renaissance Festival today to get out of the house and hopefully it clears my head.

TL;DR: Drunk guy pushes himself inside my house. GF puts him on his ass twice. We smoke cigs on the front porch and cops take him home.
 

Gattsu25

Banned
That was the most peaceful outcome to what must have been a most stressful situation. Everyone handled that with absolute class.
 
Sounds like you handled it very well. Kudos to you for not getting what was (probably) just a really drunk guy into a life-changing situation with the law.
 
So I got out of this situation. I guess I'm really at fault because I should have never opened the door in the first place? I'm going to install a chain or a bar latch today sometime. Also I'm getting a baseball bat for the bedroom. We don't own a gun. What if we did? When he tried to push past her I suspect would have gotten it or immediately had her go get it. Would he have gotten aggressive as a response and it would have escalated? Now I just get to think about it all day. We're going to take the kids to the Renaissance Festival today to get out of the house and hopefully it clears my head.

TL;DR: Drunk guy pushes himself inside my house. GF puts him on his ass twice. We smoke cigs on the front porch and cops take him home.

100% yes. I have no clue what you were possibly thinking opening the door without confirming who it was, especially since you don't have a chain. And then after the guy pushed his way past you the fact that you wanted to let him get further into your house is absolutely mind boggling.
 

GeoNeo

I disagree.
Simple 💯 could you take him in a fight how is your self defence training ? If the answer is no and next to none you never should have opened the door you put yourself & gf in harms way thankfully everything was good in the end but please learn from this don't repeat your key mistakes bro.
 

Askani

Member
100% yes. I have no clue what you were possibly thinking opening the door without confirming who it was, especially since you don't have a chain. And then after the guy pushed his way past you the fact that you wanted to let him get further into your house is absolutely mind boggling.

It was 5 in the morning. I had been asleep for 4 hours and wasn't exactly with it. Yes, we should have a chain installed. You're not wrong about that. But "want" is extremely disingenuous. I obviously didn't want him any farther but if he's contained in a room with only one exit and wasting time for officers to get there instead of standing in my living room arguing then you better believe I'm going to take the first option.

Simple �� could you take him in a fight how is your self defence training ? If the answer is no and next to none you never should have opened the door you put yourself & gf in harms way thankfully everything was good in the end but please learn from this don't repeat your key mistakes bro.

The answer is in fact no and next to none. I'm not going to hide from it. That was a bad move. It was a huge fuck up on my part. I was in helping a hurt person mode and not thinking clearly. He wasn't attempting to swing or raise his hands. He didn't raise hands once or even point. He was just trying to push past. During this whole hallway scene though I had a line to his side. My entire plan was to get around him and choke him out if anything happened before I stepped in. Don't get the impression I'm talking about doing some tactical diving roll and come up from behind with a perfectly executed rear naked choke that would make CM Punk tap, but I was in a position to get my arm around his neck and hold on for dear life. Some self defense training is probably in order. The ex-wife is married to a cop and we're all friendly. I'm going to get with him to for some training.

I think largely you handled it very well but yea... Opening the front door was a terrible decision.

Absolutely. If you're really hurt or in trouble (unless you're a kid) and you come to my house you're not getting help other than me calling the police.
 

novabolt

Member
I'm so thank it wasn't a "My girl bout about it, pull up with missiles and sawn offs" situation. You and your GF handled the situation pretty cool and collectively from what I read.
 

Fhtagn

Member
Congratulations for not murdering him.

Yeah, exactly this.

Get a door chain for sure; otherwise good read on the situation and good instincts for not escalating where you didn't need to.

I intervened in a fight between strangers recently, where one of the people involved was basically this drunk and had no idea what they were doing or why people were so (justifiably) angry at them, so I can picture how drunk this dude was perfectly.
 

Shadybiz

Member
Sorry about that man...it was a long night for me. Apparently, I also played Street Fighter II and left the tv on before going to bed. I must have been drunk...the pause screen tells me I was using Dhalsim.

Glad it worked out though...it could have been a lot worse. From experience, usually talking and smoking is a pretty good way to defuse drunken situations. Been on both ends a few times.
 
For what it's worth, door chains are useless, anyone can rip one off with shoulder to the door.

I think you handled it fairly well, would have been better to misdirect outside, but it is what it is.
 

Boney

Banned
OR dude could not be so drunk off his ass he wanders into the wrong fucking house. But yeah, totally OP's fault.
You have no possible input on that.

You ended up with an ok situation on your hands but you handled it horribly. First, how in the hell do you open before k owing who you're dealing with? Especially that late at night. You ask through the door what's up and then decide.
After he pushed his way in and after calling 911 immediately you can't be on a different page with your wife, imagine how frustrated and stressed she must've been protecting your home. I get your position of not raising any tensions but you can't have your wife push him fucking twice man what's the matter with you. After the first shove you should've taken a hint, drag him outside and depending on his attitude offer him some water or something. Imagine if he's were an aggressive drunk with a weapon, you can't let someone like that into your home.

It's cool he realized he wasn't home and after that you did great by helping him out, especially by delivering the keys. But seems you acted more concerned about the guy than your wife and that sucks dude.
 
So I got out of this situation. I guess I'm really at fault because I should have never opened the door in the first place? I'm going to install a chain or a bar latch today sometime. Also I'm getting a baseball bat for the bedroom. We don't own a gun. What if we did? When he tried to push past her I suspect would have gotten it or immediately had her go get it. Would he have gotten aggressive as a response and it would have escalated? Now I just get to think about it all day. We're going to take the kids to the Renaissance Festival today to get out of the house and hopefully it clears my head.
.

It's a difficult situation. My mom is in her 60s now and she is becoming more afraid for foreigners, but a part of me understands the fear. A few nights ago, someone rang on her door (at around 1 AM at night) which is unusual. She live in a village at the country with only 10-15 houses. nearest town is 10 minutes away in car.
My mom didn't dare open the door, but could hear that the person on the other side was a male with a eastern european broken english accent. He said he needed help but couldn't specify, and my mom wouldn't open the door. He insists that she open, and her little dog start barking like mad, and then he left.

I couldn't figure out if my moms reaction was an act of racism or legitimately being precautions. There are stories of home invasions where old lady open the door to be violently robbed, but I have no reference in my mind how likely that is. Regardless, it makes me uneasy opening the door for someone after a certain hour.
On the other hand, it could be a refugee just strolling through and needing help. That's the horrible part about it. You are scared and don't know the intent of the person.
 

Diamond

Member
Reminds me of the (more peaceful) drunk intrusion at Evilore's place which spawned the Wollan's color guys meme.
 

Complistic

Member
Why on earth would you ever open that door?

This worked out fine, but someone else could be saying they're hurt just to get inside.
 
You opened the door for a drunk man who wanted to enter your house, and then decided to let him use the bathroom which was near your children's rooms while your girlfriend was visibly upset? I don't even know what to say. You put your entire family at risk and frankly looked weak and dangerous to your girlfriend.
 

Risible

Member
It's interesting to read your thoughts on the matter and other's replies to this situation. It got me thinking about how I would have handled it.

Am I super paranoid? My take on it would have been hyper violence the minute he pushed past me into my house. My thought would have been "My wife and kids are in danger now" and I would have gone into "it's him or me" mode immediately. Not sure if that would put my family into more or less danger. I guess I would normally assume anyone pushing into my house had bad intent and act on that instinct.
 
I remember a drunk guy tried to get in a taxi home with us after a family party. Sat right next to my little brother and started drunkenly slurring and putting his arm round him. Really, really scary. I told him we'd booked him another taxi (we hadn't) and he got out. People need to control themselves.

OP you handled it like an absolute champ from the sounds of it. If I had two daughters sleeping upstairs, I can't say I wouldn't have been more aggressive in a snap reaction, which could be disastrous.
 

Anung

Un Rama
You opened the door for a drunk man who wanted to enter your house, and then decided to let him use the bathroom which was near your children's rooms while your girlfriend was visibly upset? I don't even know what to say. You put your entire family at risk and frankly looked weak and dangerous to your girlfriend.

This is kinda where I'm at. The way this situation played out for you was incredibly luckily as there's a dozen ways it could have gone south.

I guess the drunk guy was lucky you were trying to deescalate the whole time as he could have easily have ended up in a gun carrying house hold.
 

mm04

Member
When I lived in an apartment I've had a drunk person mistake my apartment for his/hers in the middle of the night a couple of times. I've never opened the door. I kindly tell them to F off from behind the door until they get the point. My apartment complex had 4 stories, so there's always an idiot who punches the wrong number on the elevator and ends up at your door instead. Now that I own my own home, I never open my door unless I know who it is or if I'm expecting a delivery and I can see it's a courier. I'm not obligated to be nice to you if you come knocking on my door expecting me to open it.
 
Luckily it worked out and he didn't get too aggressive. But if there is a dude in your house, don't go about letting him use the bathroom.

Don't know how I would have handled something like that. But since he was drunk and got pushed to the ground pretty easily, holding him there while the cops are on their way sounds like a better idea then letting him get back up and hope for the best.
 

iavi

Member
You opened the door for a drunk man who wanted to enter your house, and then decided to let him use the bathroom which was near your children's rooms while your girlfriend was visibly upset? I don't even know what to say. You put your entire family at risk and frankly looked weak and dangerous to your girlfriend.

This is my takeaway too. You've got a serious convo coming with the girlfriend coming if you haven't gotten it already. Godspeed op
 

Grizzlyjin

Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
You handled things really well. Baseball bat isn't a bad idea, I have one in the closet next to the front door. The two times I've had drunk people show up at the door randomly, I knew them. But anytime my girl thinks she hears something downstairs and wants me to investigate I tell her to get her phone out and lock the door behind me. If she hears something, stay in the room and call the police. Usually it's just college kids wandering around a little too close to my spot. One time a mob of people (at least 15) showed up and started pounding on the door. Turns out they were looking for my neighbor's party lol

Glad your family is okay. And the dude didn't get hurt. Happy ending for everyone.

Oh, I've been the drunk dude that went into the wrong place before too. When I was living on campus I got off on the wrong floor after a party and walked into wrong room. My brain was on autopilot. Exactly where my room would have been, just a floor off.
 

E92 M3

Member
I would have never opened the door lol. Not worth the risk.

What were you thinking letting a drunk man into your house and compromising your whole family?

Glad everything turned ok - but that is not the norm.
 
You let a drunk man talk shit and approach the mother of your children without putting hands on him?

I figured maybe you were intimidated by the guy, but it turns out later in the story you're twice your gf's size. I don't know how she's taking it but most women I know would be mortified at your lack of common sense and basic protective instinct. She was the only line of defense between this slob and your children, and you didn't even back her up.
 

Weevilone

Member
I can't believe the cops took him home. He should have woken up in jail so he could realize how serious this was, and so he doesn't end up hurting someone (even himself) in the meantime. And yikes, I'm not opening that door.
 

Enco

Member
You opened the door and let your wife act as the first line of defence?

Lol damn bruh.

But yea at least situation ended positively.
 
Lesson #1 under siege:
Never open the gates

Man could've been just acting drunk as a Trojan Horse-style fakeout to gain entry

Glad you're all OK, OP, but damn
 

Khaz

Member
It's cool to open the door and stuff. But the guys was drunk, it's not easy to reason. Imo, it's all about shifting the burden of proof to him to make him realise he's wrong.

Saying
- "What are you doing here
- It's my home
- no it's mine"
Keeps the burden of proof on yourself. He knows he's home and you're the stranger here, so he won't get any of it.

Instead, going for
"you got the wrong house mate,
- wait, what? Do I?"
Which makes him look around to make his point. In fact, when he actually got to look around he instantly realised that something was different and he immediately started apologising.

I spent way too much drunk arguing.
 

vityaz

Member
Man, that could have ended real bad for anyone involved. And it's quite possible you don't look that great to your GF right now.
 
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