Support NeoGAF

[Violet_0]

considered going into some seedy brothel, but then I sobbered up

 

[WhateverItTakes]

Eh, if I hang on another couple of years I can just get a VR helmet and a vacuum hosed onto my genitals. Real people are too loud and smelly anyway.

VR? Real people? What will you-

Oh. Oh God...

Spoiler

Thanks(?) for reminding me to check out the fan art OT

EDIT:

Haven't had sex with my girlfriend in 1 1/2 years cause she hates her own body.

I'm basically thirsty all the time.

Imma need more info. Sounds rough for both of you.

 

[BlackGhost]

When I wanted TLOP to drop

Remember the one time when the whole Pablo thread watched SNL? Good times

 

[The Faceless Master]

back in HS, during summer vacation met this chick at the beach and we hit it off, kissed and grabbed her boobs up in the water etc...

talked on the phone for a few weeks...

she said her mom wasnt home one day

rode my bike several miles to her house brehs

but it was worth it

 

[sycam0re]

Waiting for Frank Oceans new album to drop. To help visualize, I'm basically the little girl from Grave of the Fireflies.

LMAO yeah the thirst is super real. 3 more days but i'm not holding my breath

 

[Otakumegane]

In high school.

But for studies. I was already pretty smart, but I lamented the fact that I wasn't a genius. Strange times.

 

[rashbeep]

Haven't had sex with my girlfriend in 1 1/2 years cause she hates her own body.

I'm basically thirsty all the time.

!?

 

[Atrophis]

back in HS, during summer vacation met this chick at the beach and we hit it off, kissed and grabbed her boobs up in the water etc...

talked on the phone for a few weeks...

she said her mom wasnt home one day

rode my bike several miles to her house brehs

but it was worth it

Bet that chain was burning when you arrived.

 

[LionPride]

LMAO yeah the thirst is super real. 3 more days but i'm not holding my breath

It aint ever comin out

 

[Kurita]

I'm reaaaaaaaally thirsty right now, broke up with my gf three months ago and haven't hooked up since then.
Thankfully things will get better once I go study abroad

Seeing Sasha Banks on TV every week doesn't help

 

[Pai Pai Master]

When my last relationship ended. She withheld sex for months and verbally abused me the few times we had sex before that. I was beyond peak human thirst by the time it ended.

 

[banefirelord]

The wait for the Red Dead 3 announcement is fuckin' killllllllling me. I'm having recurring dreams about it.

No complaints about my sex life, though.

 

[FZZ]

I'm reaaaaaaaally thirsty right now, broke up with my gf three months ago and haven't hooked up since then.
Thankfully things will get better once I go study abroad

Seeing Sasha Banks on TV every week doesn't help

If you ain't getting pussy now what makes you think you'll get it abroad?

Lmao

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Haven't had sex with my girlfriend in 1 1/2 years cause she hates her own body.

I'm basically thirsty all the time.

If her self-esteem issues are that crippling, she needs some serious help.

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

 

[Woetyler]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

 

[Kwixotik]

If you ain't getting pussy now what makes you think you'll get it abroad?

Lmao

If he's studying abroad in a group that's predominantly female, and he isn't disgusting, it will come to him

 

[Watevaman]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

 

[old manatee]

If you ain't getting pussy now what makes you think you'll get it abroad?

Lmao

studying in Thailand probably

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

Everything about this:

 

[Kid Ska]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

I'm not sure what to comment on first. This is true thirst

 

[Pai Pai Master]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

Haha from melons to married couple, talk about an upgrade

 

[sixteen-bit]

SSF4 launch week, trying to get it urley

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

Everything about this:

I'm not sure what to comment on first. This is true thirst

Haha from melons to married couple, talk about an upgrade

I should be very specific my HS psychology teacher was a fox. And her husband was a looker as well, she was 25 and he was 29 at the time. Found out by then I swung both ways.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Probably back when I was a hopelessly single junior in high school and spent the entire latter half of a school day actively looking forward to going home and masturbating to the girl who sat across from me in Physics class. At some point during that day's class, she stood up and bent over to help her lab partner with a worksheet, also giving me a pretty extensive look at her cleavage in the process. It was difficult to even sit still for the rest of the school day due to the anticipation.

Definitely one of my lowest points.

 

[old manatee]

I should be very specific my HS psychology teacher was a fox. And her husband was a looker as well, she was 25 and he was 29 at the time. Found out by then I swung both ways.

As long as you didn't end up on the news I think you nailed it.

 

[Markoman]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

There are like 1 million objects out there that simulate a pussy just fine, but you chose a melon? Ok

 

[Damerman]

I'm 23, no girlfriend in 11 months, and I turned down a girl asking to be fuckbuddies. I ain't even thirsty. I crave everything about a relationship except sex. As odd as it sounds.

Ur username determined that this post was a lie.

 

[E92 M3]

Probably back when I was a hopelessly single junior in high school and spent the entire latter half of a school day actively looking forward to going home and masturbating to the girl who sat across from me in Physics class. At some point during that day's class, she stood up and bent over to help her lab partner with a worksheet, also giving me a pretty extensive look at her cleavage in the process. It was difficult to even sit still for the rest of the school day due to the anticipation.

Definitely one of my lowest points.

 

[Woetyler]

As long as you didn't end up on the news I think you nailed them.

FTFY

 

[Onemic]

Paging FreeMufasa and his Fuzion Frenzy story

 

[Kid Ska]

I should be very specific my HS psychology teacher was a fox. And her husband was a looker as well, she was 25 and he was 29 at the time. Found out by then I swung both ways.

So were they on Craigslist or was that unrelated?

 

[Sou Da]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuL4IaCf4qM

I dunno man, I think he may have made up for it at that one con.

 

[ACE 1991]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

Damn. This is a tag-worthy post if I've ever seen one.

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

There are like 1 million objects out there that simulate a pussy just fine, but you chose a melon? Ok

Yeap, I liked melon and I was young at the time.

 

[Beerman462]

Prior to Senior year highschool I was pretty overweight and kinda short. Then I lost 30+ pounds grew 2 inches(5'10")and did a lot of pull ups(just had an easy opportunity at work). All of a sudden girls are interested. I ended up dating a wrestling cheerleader for half a year and made out a ton, but never closed the deal before we eventually broke up. Honestly I think if I had been a little more confident we would have had sex and stayed together at least until graduation, because she started going to college parties after we broke up.

Other than that it would be the AMD 480 release. I wanted a new GPU so bad. I eventually daid fuck it and splurged on a 1070...worth it.

 

[Des0lar]

If you ain't getting pussy now what makes you think you'll get it abroad?

Lmao

Spoken like someone who never studied abroad.

 

[Amory]

Fell for a few girls over the years that I then chased too much, even though I probably should've realized they weren't into me.

Looking back, it was embarrassing. Live and learn I guess

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

So were they on Craigslist or was that unrelated?

Craigslist was unrelated, I propositioned her through messenger at the time, it eventually all lead up to an awkward dinner.

 

[MrToughPants]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

Lol wtf right on! Did you eat the melons after?


Love GAF confessionals

 

[DrEvil]

Yeap, I liked melon and I was young at the time.

Did your mom ever ask why there were holes in the melons? I hope you didn't eat them afterwards.

 

[bjork]

Yeap, I liked melon and I was young at the time.

Explains the boner

 

[RobotVM]

I was going to say waiting on the NX announcement but y'all mutherfudgers got me beat by a country mile.

 

[Sephzilla]

Was a virgin up until senior yr HS and very confused about who and what I was attracted to, just wanted to stick it in anything at this point (sexed up a melon). Considering looking for a lil somethin' somethin' on Craigslist at that point because the melons were not satisfying my appetite. For some reason I did not want to be a virgin my first year of college. So I had sex with my previous HS teacher and her husband though.

 

[FZZ]

Spoken like someone who never studied abroad.

More like spoken like someone who never had to leave their country to get pussy

but I get your point

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

Lol wtf right on! Did you eat the melons after?


Love GAF confessionals

Yes, and this is related to the bottom question, that if my mom ever found out I wasted food I was fucked. I never finished in the melon and I only sexed up 3 melons, watermelon, cantaloupe and honeydew.

Did your mom ever ask why there were holes in the melons? I hope you didn't eat them afterwards.

Well you already know the answer to the latter, and for my mom ever asking, I was the only one that liked melons in the house.

 

[bjork]

More like spoken like someone who never had to leave their country to get pussy

 

[Violet_0]

I was the only one that liked melons in the house.

yeah, I wonder why

 

[PlayALLtheGames]

I don't want any smart ass answers.

Well, you're in the right place, let me tell you.

 

[isuzu]

I'm dead inside