Then why did you say in your post "women cheat more" ? lol
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Who cheats more? Men or Women?
- Thread starter Dai Kaiju
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Then why did you say in your post "women cheat more" ? lol
Study Finds A New Reason Why Men Cheat More Than Women
Men cheat more than women because they have stronger sexual impulses than their female counterparts, a new study suggests.
Previous research has suggested that men are more likely to be unfaithful because they have less self-control, according to researchers from the University of Texas at Austin who published their work in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Researchers conducted two studies to show that men have stronger sexual impulses than ladies.
Men cheat more than women because they have stronger sexual impulses than their female counterparts, a new study suggests.
Previous research has suggested that men are more likely to be unfaithful because they have less self-control, according to researchers from the University of Texas at Austin who published their work in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Researchers conducted two studies to show that men have stronger sexual impulses than ladies.
It doesn't depend on the individuals, at least not to answer his question. I believe the numbers are roughly equivalent, with women having a slight edge over men when the question is have you cheated, but men having a large lead in the total number of cheating relationships. Or in other words more women than men have cheated (by a small margin), but men that cheat cheat more frequently.
Ehhhhhhh
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The Everyman
hmm. cheating is a terrible thing to do but it's crazy how we consider something that's so common as so evil.
society needs to reevaluate relationship norms.
DUFFMCWALIN
Member
So why not post this first instead of being a dick and insulting everyone in the thread?
Edit: post below me brings up a good point as well.
This assumes that people are cheating for purely sexual reasons, which is often not the case.
Winterfang
Banned
Just because is common doesn't mean is acceptable proper behavior, it hurts. It ruins relationships and marriages, it can destroy families.
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The Everyman
i did say 'cheating is a terrible thing to do' in the first eight words of that post.
They defined cheating as including kissing which is a little too broad for me.
Yeah agreed. I personally prefer monogamy, but I wonder how much of that is due to my upbringing (social constructs/expectations). Emotionally, I couldn't handle my partner being intimate with someone else.
I said this in the monogamy thread, but i have absolutely no issue with people having multiple partners. I have no issue with non-monogamy. However, I think if you enter into a relationship where both partners agree to monogamy, you are a piece of shit if you sleep with someone else. Ultimately, I don't buy the excuse that people can't control their own urges. And I also don't see anyone forced into these relationships to begin with. It was a choice.
Basically, if you date someone and you agree to open with seeing other people, that's totally fine. I think that's great (and I see nothing wrong with that). But don't choose to enter a relationship with monogamy if that's not something you want. I do get that people cheat for various reasons, but outside of physical abuse (which is a deep/complex issue), I don't think cheating is ever excusable.
If so, for far more practical reasons than people feeling salty about cheaters and cheating.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I'd say women have the opportunity to cheat more.
Take me, for example, I've been with many women that had husbands or bfs but still did what they did with me. Why? because I pursued them. I tried to be with them even knowing they had another guy. I'm sure that happens a lot, especially with beautiful women. They get hit on all the time.
Just takes the right motivation for the woman to say yes to one of the guys that's asking.
With me, it's a little different. Would I cheat if a really hot girl asked me to, while i was already in a relationship. Most likely, yes, but since I'm not the most attractive guy ever. that rarely happens to me.
So I have less of a temptation.
So, I'd say women most likely cheat more based solely off of more temptations being put in front of them.
edit: but a really hot guy might have a different result than what happens to me.
Take me, for example, I've been with many women that had husbands or bfs but still did what they did with me. Why? because I pursued them. I tried to be with them even knowing they had another guy. I'm sure that happens a lot, especially with beautiful women. They get hit on all the time.
Just takes the right motivation for the woman to say yes to one of the guys that's asking.
With me, it's a little different. Would I cheat if a really hot girl asked me to, while i was already in a relationship. Most likely, yes, but since I'm not the most attractive guy ever. that rarely happens to me.
So I have less of a temptation.
So, I'd say women most likely cheat more based solely off of more temptations being put in front of them.
edit: but a really hot guy might have a different result than what happens to me.
MoodyFog
Member
Not sure if serious..
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The Everyman
more substantial post please.
You don't think cheaters are terrible? I agree that one shouldn't be bitter and should let things go (and shouldn't generalize an entire gender or people just because of bad experiences). But, I really don't see why people enter a relationship of monogamy, if they don't want to be in a monogamous relationship.
I really feel like you lack integrity and respect for the person you are dating, if you cheat in that type of relationship. It's pretty scummy. The issue isn't sleeping with another person (there is nothing morally wrong about that). The issue is committing to a relationship with someone else with the understanding that it's monogamous, and then breaking that. I would say that's pretty cut and dry in terms of being immoral and shitty.
But you just described a situation where a beautiful woman is getting pursued by men who know she's taken. You can't really compare that to your case, in which you say you're not that attractive.
Beautiful men get pursued constantly under the same circumstances.
MoodyFog
Member
How does something bad being common makes it not bad anymore?
Do the frequent shootings in the US make it normal or is it still a big issue?
Agreed.
I've always had this opinion of the matter. If you feel full commitment isn't something for you, be honest about it. Trying to live a lie is pretty fucked up for everyone involved. Not only are you hurting yourself, you're hurting your mate.
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The Everyman
i did say 'cheating is a terrible thing to do' in the first eight words of that post.
also, far less than 1/3 of people are murderers.
It's about equal. But women are far better at it than men and don't get caught out as often.
I think women are more likely to get involved in affairs, but men one night stands.
One night standers just need to get a grip and decide if they really are mature enough to be in a serious relationship yet.
But those who have affairs with all the constant lies and double-life that goes with them are the absolute scum of society. The long-term mental damage it can do to their partner should almost make it an offence, if you are married at least. Cowardly scum. And I say that even though nothing like that has happened to me personally, but I've seem how it's destroyed other people's confidence, caused depression and torn apart families.
I think women are more likely to get involved in affairs, but men one night stands.
One night standers just need to get a grip and decide if they really are mature enough to be in a serious relationship yet.
But those who have affairs with all the constant lies and double-life that goes with them are the absolute scum of society. The long-term mental damage it can do to their partner should almost make it an offence, if you are married at least. Cowardly scum. And I say that even though nothing like that has happened to me personally, but I've seem how it's destroyed other people's confidence, caused depression and torn apart families.
MoodyFog
Member
So basically your post is "cheating is a terrible thing, but it's crazy we consider it as such a terrible thing"
Trickster
Member
I sure as hell would consider it cheating if I found out my SO had been locked in some passionate french kissing action with someoe unless we were in an open relationship.
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The Everyman
"cheating is a terrible thing, but it's crazy we consider it as such a terrible thing when it's so common. society needs to reevaluate relationship norms."
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
true,i edited my post to include that.
However, I'd say generally, anecdotally, and through my own observations, a less than attractive female is still more sought after than a less than attractive male by the opposite sex. At least if my experiences have any truth to them, lol.
Clickbait article. Or spin.
The question posed in the study was, "describe the first instance that comes to mind from your life that fits the following description: You were attracted to someone who you felt it was wrong to pursue.”
Reasons were:
bad match (38%)
other person in relationship (36%)
I am in a relationship (29%)
friend's ex (4%)
none of the above (14%)
All of this was grouped into one to calculate sexual impulse, not just cheating.
How extensive should the reform towards monogamous relationships be?
Winterfang
Banned
Coolio can you explain yourself better?, you are not making an sense.
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The Everyman
keep it, consider new things as possibilities for normal, healthy, relationships as well.
way too many people scoff at the term 'open relationship'.
I think it's a dick move. I read Coolio's post as him saying that we as a society think too negatively of cheaters considering how frequently the act is committed, and that relationship norms should be reevaluated for that reason. While I agree relationship norms should be changed in our society, how people react to cheating is not the strongest argument for that change.
Prophet Steve
Member
A magazine here in the Netherlands (Quest) happened to recently organized a question list on this that was filled in by about 1000 people.
Now there are the issues of how honest people are, but 17.2% of men said they have cheated sometime and 11.7% of women.
So, I guess men.
Now there are the issues of how honest people are, but 17.2% of men said they have cheated sometime and 11.7% of women.
So, I guess men.
I agree.
People in a long-term relationship should be more open to sexual encounters with others. It would have to be a mutual approval from both parties, and communication about who he or she fornicated with should be key. I, personally, engage in relationships because of emotion and physical stimulation, so I wouldn't be too peeved at the thought of an open relationship.
However, some people like maintaining monogamous relationships. It all depends on preference, I suppose. A friend of mine tried this angle in a relationship and it did not bode well for either of them; both became jealous and eventually came to despite on another. It's not for everyone.
This as well.
I would have to adjust to my progeny if I was in an open relationship.
Not sure but regarding the topic of cheating i've been told to never give a second chance. I'm all for second chances but it makes sense why people suggest you shouldn't. Cheating means they outright don't respet you and also may bring an sti into the relationshipand a bunch of other stuff you may not need.
I remember when my bro kicked his to the curb when he found out.
I remember when my bro kicked his to the curb when he found out.
CornBurrito
Member
It isn't cheating if you are honest with your primary partner and they are accepting of it. Lying and being dishonest should never be seen as acceptable simply because they are common.
I found out a girl I was dating for three years had cheated on me and it absolutely crushed me. That being said a couple of years later I had been seeing someone else for about a month and cheated on them, I felt absolutely terrible, came clean, and ended our relationship. We are on good terms now as friends but it is such a terrible thing. Never will happen again.
Also I have no evidence to back this up besides personal experience, but I've known more men who have cheated than women.
Also I have no evidence to back this up besides personal experience, but I've known more men who have cheated than women.
What's off with what I said?
I wouldn't give my partner a second chance if I found out that they were intentionally being deceptive towards me. Once someone infringes on your trust it is very difficult to earn that back; I would consider the thought of allowing someone a second chance if they were honest with me. Finding out through third parties or other means is simply heart wrenching.
I agree with this, in the list of terrible things one can do to another person, cheating on them is very low on the totem pole, I don't consider all cheating equal either btw, cheating when you're married and have a family is much worse than cheating on a girlfriend/boyfriend without any kids.
hydragonwarrior
Member
If the old adage of "men think like sperm, women think like an egg" is true, then men by far if both are past that experimental stage (so between 20 and 30 and having tried different partners).
If both are still young then it's probably more even and likely.
There's exceptions to everything though - I've heard stories of a 40 something woman with kids and a husband cheating with a college kid, although it's possibly because said woman got into marriage early and didn't have much time to experiment with other sexual partners.
If both are still young then it's probably more even and likely.
There's exceptions to everything though - I've heard stories of a 40 something woman with kids and a husband cheating with a college kid, although it's possibly because said woman got into marriage early and didn't have much time to experiment with other sexual partners.
Dai Kaiju
Member
I want to elaborate on WHY I think women cheat beyond anecdotal evidence.
The DESIRE to cheat may or may not be 50/50 between genders. However, I think a lot people would agree that women have a lot more opportunities to act on that desire. I think even a good looking guy with game has to at least put some effort into it if his intention when going to a party is solely to find a girl to bang. A good looking girl will have guys flocking to her at the same party. She doesn't need to have "game". If she's there to find someone to hookup with, all she has to do is decide which of those guys guy who flocked to her she wants to, well...do. I think that's where the whole double standard comes from.
As for statistics. As many people have said, it's very difficult (if not impossible) to come up with accurate ones. I think guys are more likely to admit to cheating and girls are more likely to deny it. That goes back to the whole double standard thing.
The DESIRE to cheat may or may not be 50/50 between genders. However, I think a lot people would agree that women have a lot more opportunities to act on that desire. I think even a good looking guy with game has to at least put some effort into it if his intention when going to a party is solely to find a girl to bang. A good looking girl will have guys flocking to her at the same party. She doesn't need to have "game". If she's there to find someone to hookup with, all she has to do is decide which of those guys guy who flocked to her she wants to, well...do. I think that's where the whole double standard comes from.
As for statistics. As many people have said, it's very difficult (if not impossible) to come up with accurate ones. I think guys are more likely to admit to cheating and girls are more likely to deny it. That goes back to the whole double standard thing.
Basically.
Of course, there are many reasons why people in committed, monogamous relationships cheat. But I can't help but think a lot of casual infidelity that takes place is the result of a lot of the "sex doesn't matter! sex isn't important! It's all about love!" mentality that leads to a lot of sexual frustration in relationships--especially among straight couples, where the idea of open relationships and "playing" isn't as normalized as it is in the gay community.
Ironically, it's because a lot of people DON'T value sex like they should (actively making it a priority in their relationship, addressing any sort of sexual issues within the relationship instead of avoiding them because "sex shouldn't be important bla bla bla") that the sort of dissatisfaction that can lead to cheating.
Commanche Raisin Toast
Member
there was a (gay) guy on a talk show i watched a while back and he said something really interesting that i was talking to my wife about last night. he said that there's this stereotype that homosexuality = extreme promiscuity and cheating and what not. he said that if you were to actually look at the statistics, gay women are far less promiscuous than gay men. but it isn't because gay men are gay, it's because they're men. men, in general, have sex drives that are derived from their instincts to propagate the species. even in gay men, that instinct still exists, so us dudes generally seek sex more than women do, and will go out of our way to obtain it more than women will. so when you have a community of homosexual men that are all hanging out at the same places and are all highly sexually charged, you have a larger pool of willing partners and thus promiscuity is just a natural result.
MY POINT BEING: it makes sense that men would cheat more often, and not to try and pass off blame or responsibility or anything, but we're literally wired to have this fault. the modern monogamous relationship hasn't been a part of our species long enough to have a significant affect on our evolution and our instinctual behavior. so essentially we succumb to our sexual desires and are blinded by them to a point where it causes a lot of social issues. social constraints, by the way, that were only recently established and mutually agreed upon by most people.
cheating IS bad, but when i say cheating, i mean that in the assumption that you and your significant other have mutually agreed that fooling around with other people is not acceptable and won't be tolerated. it's essentially a broken promise at that point, and one that carries a hefty emotional burden with it in those scenarios.
MY POINT BEING: it makes sense that men would cheat more often, and not to try and pass off blame or responsibility or anything, but we're literally wired to have this fault. the modern monogamous relationship hasn't been a part of our species long enough to have a significant affect on our evolution and our instinctual behavior. so essentially we succumb to our sexual desires and are blinded by them to a point where it causes a lot of social issues. social constraints, by the way, that were only recently established and mutually agreed upon by most people.
cheating IS bad, but when i say cheating, i mean that in the assumption that you and your significant other have mutually agreed that fooling around with other people is not acceptable and won't be tolerated. it's essentially a broken promise at that point, and one that carries a hefty emotional burden with it in those scenarios.
Rex Griswold
Member
All I have to say and all I will say is that it's not always as simple as sex and it takes two people to cheat.
I don't think that there's any value in figuring out who does what more.
Edit: for the record, there is nothing good about cheating in a relationship that expects both parties to be exclusive, plain and simple.
I don't think that there's any value in figuring out who does what more.
Edit: for the record, there is nothing good about cheating in a relationship that expects both parties to be exclusive, plain and simple.
Dai Kaiju
Member
This is true. If they were okay with doing it while knowing full well it would hurt you (should you find out), there's not much reason to think they won't do it again eventually. If anything, they'll probably just be more stealthy about it. That's what happened in my case anyway.
At least I'm contributing actual info to the thread. Why are you so angry and personally offended? Stop being a dick looking for reasons to get mad and instead post something of value.
Ifop poll finds that 55 per cent of French men and 32 per cent of French women are unfaithful
A majority of French men and a third of French women cheat on their partners, a new poll, has found indicating that infidelity is on the rise in France among both sexes.
In figures that could help explain why so many French are unfazed by the dalliances of their president, François Hollande, the Ifop study found that some 55 per cent of French men and 32 per cent of French women admit to cheating on their other halves.
Being a gay guy or girl definitely helps give one a good perspective on de-packaging the conflicts straight men/women have in their relationships, since gay/lesbian culture end up looking wildly different in terms of sexual norms and culture.
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