Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
One of the biggest draws of Paper Mario was that for the first time in Mario history, many minor foes were finally given playable status after years of serving as mooks designed to get killed. Now, this wasn't entirely new...we had Koopa in Super Mario Kart, and Mario Tennis which came out a bit before Mario Kart did this as well, but to actually have the enemies be unique characters with personalities was definitely a stand-out, and something that was sorely missed in the recent two Paper Marios...but that's for another time and thread.
But, being an RPG, it's unlikely you'll actually like all the party members, or use them to an equal amount. There's always that one party member you either don't care for, don't use, or flat out consider a waste of space. To me, Paper Mario is no different, and this is a chance to get a bit negative towards these great games for once and talk about the Partners that rubbed us the wrong way.
Criteria can be from a design standpoint or gameplay standpoint, or both. Choose one character from Paper Mario 64, and one from Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door.
Paper Mario - Watt
How many people, without looking, can name what species Watt is?
The problem I have with Watt is, well, it was quite a left-field choice to use for a Partner straight out of the gate in the first game. It's the type of character you'd usually expect a series to save for a sequel, once they've exhausted all the big names and had the elbow-room to get creative. Now, I don't have a problem with them digging deep into the Mario Bestiary to use some obscure choices, that's something I'd like to see more of, but there's a big difference from "cool and obscure", to "lame and obscure". And Watt falls into the latter category for me.
The enemy Watt was based off of "Li'l Sparky" is one of those enemies that's less an enemy, and more an obstacle. Yeah, it has eyes, but what in the Mario World doesn't? To me, the Li'l Sparky are more or less like the Mushroom or Fire Flowers, it'd be weird as fuck to one into one of those that was an individual and talked, and thus Watt put me off. Even the mainline Mario games don't really care for Li'l Sparky, and its big brother the Hothead, anymore, as they've been pretty much absent except from being thrown into Super Princess Peach (which seemed to use a lot of at the time discarded enemies), and of course the Hothead appearing in Super Smash Brothers, where it's treated as a brainless item and not a living creature. Yeah, Bob-omb more often than not get treated the same way, but at least we had a canon Mario game in 64 establishing that some Bob-ombs possessed their own personality before Paper Mario introduced one. Li'l Sparky didn't get that.
Besides that, Watt's just a boring character. She's (or he, since the character is so indistinct that within Paper Mario 64 and Super Paper Mario they forget it's a girl at parts) got nothing visually interesting about her beyond the pacifier, doesn't really have any real personality outside her intro and sort of just appears without any build-up, and is tenuously connected to the Chapter. Imagine, if you will, they gave us a Shy Guy who rebelled from General Guy's forces in this Chapter instead? But, alas, I might die before I ever see a Paper Mario with a Shy Guy Partner...
Her ability, lighting the way, has some uses but isn't really the neatest ability for a character to have ('lanterns' are rarely fun in games and usually just a tedious chore), and her moveset based around stunning and such is probably more enticing for those who like to use more strategic maneuvers in Paper Mario, but as a kid, I hated her since she lacked any pure power moves and pretty much never used her. I've yet to get back to the original Paper Mario, so I wonder if older, more strategic me might have a change of heart...but for now, Watt should've just stayed in that Toy Box where she belonged.
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door - Koops
My problem with Koops stems from a big problem I have with TTYD compared to Paper Mario 64 in general, and not as much his fault---he's just the "worst example of a problem".
Anyway, the big draw of Paper Mario was getting to team-up with familiar Mario enemies, which was new, and it was cute and clever. Goomba! Koopa! Paratroopa! Boo! Cheep-Cheep! Lakitu! Bob-Omb! Uh...electrical thing...well, okay, the last one wasn't mind-blowing, but it was unique. TTYD, however, sort of fudged this up a bit. Another Goomba! Another Koopa! Another Bob-Omb! There was a sense of deja-vu, and it really disappointed me that despite Mario having such diverse enemies, the game cheapened out and re-used almost half of the roster from the first game. Beyond that, we had Yoshi, a novel concept to see him (well, a baby him) as a Party Member in an RPG, but Yoshi got enough spotlight in the main games that it wasn't something I was exactly wanting in an RPG, and then Madame Flurrie and Vivian, cool characters in their own right, but took spaces away that could've been used for equally interesting characters that also paid homage to classic Mario foes. Ultimately, the only new enemy to get promoted to playable was a Squeek of all things, and as an optional character that didn't get a lot of fanfare. But hey, better than nothing, and an obscure enemy that's actually cool to see used that way. Still, though, TTYD dropped the ball on this front as far as I'm concerned...
Now, Goombella and Bobbery were good characters, far more interesting than their 64 Counterparts despite covering familiar ground, so I didn't mind them. But Koops? He just didn't do anything for me. I don't remember Kooper being exactly a stand-out character either, but at least he had a cooler design and looked ready for action, while Koops just looks pathetic and like he could fall over and die at any minute. Sure, Koops had more of a plot with his father and everything, but when TTYD ramped up the story-telling all around, it was a natural evolution that was expected, and thus Koops doesn't really go above the newly set bar enough to impress me. Sorry Koops, but you were technically the third Koopa partner (since a Paratroopa is basically a Koopa---actually, maybe fourth since so is a Lakitu more or less), and more of the same I didn't really want from a sequel. Couldn't you have been a Spike who could toss balls to hit switches? A Hammer Bros.? Something more interesting?
In his defense, he was a decent party-member, and one of my MVPs in a recent playthrough. But just because I used him, doesn't mean I necessarily like him. To me, he's a tool, and nothing more.
