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[Lissar]

I know I'm awesome, but for some reason that's not an opinion shared by everyone.
Guess I'm just too awesome to comprehend!

Aw, Squids. It's okay. I think your posts and threads are awesomely bad!

 

[A.E Suggs]

hahahaha WHAT.

The word "friendzone" itself implies that the woman is yours but she chooses to put you in a zone where you can't have her. She apparently doesn't have her own opinions and ability to act in the way she desires without her totally normal behavior having a negative term for it. The entitlement starts there.

I don't remember the word starting off that way. I remember it being used when said person just wants you to be a friend and not want any romantic involvement with you ever. Least that's the way I used it. To me that doesn't imply ownership of a male/female.

 

[hardcastlemccormick]

The problem is that you only go one way with this. What if you don't like the trailer? What if you end up seeing the movie later because the trailer was alright, and the movie ends up blowing your mind? That's what I'm saying.

Let me repost and expand the second paragraph of what you quoted. I know, it's a lot of text. I'm sorry.

You also give pretty much everybody the benefit of the doubt, because naturally some people are bad at communicating (sometimes the trailer is worse than the movie). Nobody's perfect. This is why you sometimes rush into it and hope for the best. You go on a lot of dates and a lot of them aren't relationship material. There's no commitment with dating, it's a process where you get closer to a person and understand them better.

Even a relationship will be a learning period. You will be learning about each other the entire time you're together. You like them at first and then it grows into love over time. That's part of what love is - it erupts based on the more you understand someone.

It's not perfect or quantifiable or even easy. And I'm not going to pretend I have all the answers.

But women are entitled to the continuing friendship of men whose romantic advances have been rejected?

If you say, "I want to be friends--WELL ACTUALLY I wanna be your boyfriend," can you really blame the woman for saying, "I'd be fine with just friends!"

 

[Dr Stabbingworth]

I don't know about you, but I have plenty of emotions that are negative and result in non-productive ways.

Very few people are 100% mentally healthy and some people seek to avoid situations that make them uncomfortable.

 

[commedieu]

I don't remember the word starting off that way. I remember it being used when said person just wants you to be a friend and not want any romantic involvement with you ever. Least that's the way I used it. To me that doesn't imply ownership of a male/female.

Ya, gotta side with ya on this one. Friendzone, may have deep seeded roots??, but I know the way I use it, is to say that you tried to be romantic, but you got put inside of the friendzone. NO ROMANCE ALLOWED.

No ownership really.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

I have low self-esteem, but only about my skills/talents. So if someone likes me I don't question it because "I really like me, so of course you like me!"

*swears she is not self-absorbed*

I actually really like myself, but I know I'm not what most people consider a "good" person. It's like, "You want a genuinely kind, altruistic, and ambitious girlfriend? Keep moving, buddy."

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I don't remember the word starting off that way. I remember it being used when said person just wants you to be a friend and not want any romantic involvement with you ever. Least that's the way I used it. To me that doesn't imply ownership of a male/female.

I'm sure it started with decent intentions, but it revealed an ingrained mindset of ownership, sexism, and entitlement from so many marginalized men. It is a way to try to shrug off rejection not by analyzing your own potential faults, but by thinking that the woman is just being a woman.

 

[Thunder Monkey]

He's not but the situation could have been avoided if he was upfront about his feelings in the first place.

Then I should get this out of the way.

I'd probably have sex with most of the people on this forum.

After I'd show you how I can 100% a vanilla Dragon Age Origins run in a little over 5 hours.

 

[User 100115]

If he's not getting what he wants out of the relationship, then why should he feel obligated to stick around?

Did I not say no one is entitled to anything? And if he wanted sex out of the relationship, he shouldn't have hidden it in the middle of a 'best friend forever' shaped package. But of course women or men would be devastated over losing a best friend.

 

[Chinner]

Then I should get this out of the way.

I'd probably have sex with most of the people on this forum.

After I'd show you how I can 100% a vanilla Dragon Age Origins run in a little over 5 hours.

i choo-choo-choose you thunder monkey

 

[Thunder Monkey]

Did I not say no one is entitled to anything? And if he wanted sex out of the relationship, he shouldn't have hidden it in the middle of a 'best friend forever' shaped package. But of course women or men would be devastated over losing a best friend.

What if you believe human females are actually reptiles in disguise?

i choo-choo-choose you thunder monkey

I'm more than hesitant about 5 foot tall Ducks though.

I can only imagine what ungodly large spear cock you have.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

that's it, I'm building a robot.

You're coming up with all sorts of deep philosophical insights all the time.
A robot, because human behavior can be reduced to a predictable set of behaviors - like machine code.

Deep.

 

[Dr Stabbingworth]

Build a robot or something. We're fucking people with different interests, different modes of dealing with stuff and trying to get through the day with as little grief as possible. The sheer lack or refusal to see stuff from our perspective and lump us into one entity like the borg is just a constant theme lately or since I've been here really.

Either side of the debate could make this claim.

 

[Ghost_Protocol]

Did I not say no one is entitled to anything? And if he wanted sex out of the relationship, he shouldn't have hidden it in the middle of a 'best friend forever' shaped package. But of course women or men would be devastated over losing a best friend.

But was it hidden? Were there no signs at all that he was into you over all this time while you were best friends? Do you know for sure he was playing friends with you from the get-go and always had ulterior motives, or could he have developed feelings for you over time?

 

[A.E Suggs]

I'm sure it started with decent intentions, but it revealed an ingrained mindset of ownership, sexism, and entitlement from so many marginalized men. It is a way to try to shrug off rejection not by analyzing your own potential faults, but by thinking that the woman is just being a woman.

You might be right, some words do change with time.

 

[commedieu]

You're coming up with all sorts of deep philosophical insights all the time.
A robot, because human behavior can be reduced to a predictable set of behaviors - like machine code.

Deep.

and you can have sex with that code!

You might be right, some words do change with time.

Right? Kinda makes me feel dirty to use -- if thats how the brodudes mean it.

 

[davepoobond]

one of the only girls i ever actually was interested in, i never really hung out with her (even though i asked multiple times) and she kept talking about how she didn't want a boyfriend. then she gets a boyfriend like a day after she says that.

i got the point then.

 

[Transhuman]

You misunderstood. Being a man about rejection means being mature about it as oppose to being a boy and whine about it. You can have your feels. No one said you can't.

Who's whining"? They balance a potentially good friendship with a short term feeling of unease. Sometimes the friendship isn't worth that much to them, so they fall out of touch/ try to avoid contact. And sometimes they break ties because they're just too emotionally weak to come to terms with being rejected by someone they like.

Around the same time you equated being a man with not feeling emotions.

Some consider quotation marks to be the grammatical sign for sarcasm.

 

[jasonng]

Then I should get this out of the way.

I'd probably have sex with most of the people on this forum.

After I'd show you how I can 100% a vanilla Dragon Age Origins run in a little over 5 hours.

 

[ColonelColon]

Did I not say no one is entitled to anything? And if he wanted sex out of the relationship, he shouldn't have hidden it in the middle of a 'best friend forever' shaped package. But of course women or men would be devastated over losing a best friend.

I think you're falsely attributing intent to his actions that may not be there. The notion of friendship being used as a trojan horse for manipulating women into a romantic relationship seems utterly bizarre to me. Maybe the guy is just timid and finds it difficult to express himself. Maybe the attraction grew over time.

 

[The Boat]

and you can have sex with that code!



Right? Kinda makes me feel dirty to use -- if thats how the brodudes mean it.

Balls deep.

 

[Thunder Monkey]

I'll pack my diapers and be over in a half an hour!

 

[Count Dookkake]

Some consider quotation marks to be the grammatical sign for sarcasm.

Irrelevant.

The poster said something like "be a man" and you read that as something like "don't have feelings."

Spend less time trying to educate me about the use of quotation marks and more time not making false inferences.

 

[A.E Suggs]

and you can have sex with that code!



Right? Kinda makes me feel dirty to use -- if thats how the brodudes mean it.

Yeah looks like its time to scarp it from my vocabulary . Oh well, within a few years there'll be a new word which more or less means the same thing and I'll use that one.

 

[Bony Manifesto]

No one's entitled to anything but these threads all hit the same note.

Women should reject men based on how I feel, not the reality of their situation.
Women shouldn't put their hand over their glass it makes me feel like a rapist.
Women should let men know how they feel right at the start of a friendship about whether they would date the guy or not.
Women should do this, women should do that.

Build a robot or something. We're fucking people with different interests, different modes of dealing with stuff and trying to get through the day with as little grief as possible. The sheer lack or refusal to see stuff from our perspective and lump us into one entity like the borg is just a constant theme lately.

That's fair enough, but it works the other way around too. These threads are full of the drivel you mentioned and it sucks, but there's just as many people making similarly ignorant statements about what men should and shouldn't do.

But I agree with you in principle: these threads (and any gender-related subject at all really) turn to shit because people aren't interested in hearing anyone else's perspective on it. I don't think, in the entire history of the internet, anyone has had their opinion swayed by what someone else has posted!

If you say, "I want to be friends--WELL ACTUALLY I wanna be your boyfriend," can you really blame the woman for saying, "I'd be fine with just friends!"

But isn't the whole problem that people don't say up-front that they want to be friends?

 

[Ghost_Protocol]

one of the only girls i ever actually was interested in, i never really hung out with her (even though i asked multiple times) and she kept talking about how she didn't want a boyfriend. then she gets a boyfriend like a day after she says that.

i got the point then.

I hate hearing about things like this. Hurts.

 

[blame space]

But I agree with you in principle: these threads (and any gender-related subject at all really) turn to shit because people aren't interested in hearing anyone else's perspective on it. I don't think, in the entire history of the internet, anyone has had their opinion swayed by what someone else has posted!

that's dumb. why wouldn't peoples opinions change? I thought that was the whole point.

 

[squidyj]

Irrelevant.

The poster said something like "be a man" and you read that as something like "don't have feelings."

Spend less time trying to educate me about the use of quotation marks and more time not making false inferences.

actually i can't think of a time when "be a man" wasn't a terrible thing to say. I honestly can't think of a single time where someone used the phrase "be a man" and that made me think "oh hey, that individual has a really good point" not once. In fact I think I've only ever heard it used to stifle and silence complaint and criticism.

 

[The One and Done™]

Fuck it. Here goes:

Straight guys don't have attractive girls that are just "friends".

Fact: If given the opportunity, a straight guy would have sex with an attractive girl that's a friend without question. Girls are wired differently, they won't necessarily do that. But with a guy, we're ready to fuck at the drop of a hat.

The girl in the article is either an idiot or a narcissist looking for attention. It's quite obvious why a guy would not want to talk to you as much or hang out with you after you've turned him down. How can you blame a guy for putting you in the "girlfriend zone"? At least that's more natural than this "friend zone" bullshit.". All that shit the girl talked about; going to movies, inviting him over for parties, revealing feelings; those things are done by people in relationships. If you're an attractive girl and he's a straight guy and you are doing those things, you are fucking leading him on horribly and and you're kind of an ass for getting upset that he doesn't want to talk to you again after you've rejected him.

Guys are very VERY simple creatures. We like to eat good food, fuck sexy women (or most even mildly attractive women for that matter), and generally avoid drama if possible. If a guys girlfriend ask him "what's wrong" and he says, "nothing", 9 times out of 10 there is probably nothing wrong. But when it's a guy asking the girl, and she says "nothing" it's always a fucking ruse because they're irrational most times. It's those types of things that leads to garbage like this, where a girl feels justified in complaining about being put in the "girl friend zone". I've never heard of such trash before. The girl is pretty much saying "I'm hot and how dare you want to be in a relationship with me after I've led you on like crazy. How dare you not want to be my friend anymore when I say 'hells no you ain't getting no ass'". Really? GTFO. Shit like this pisses me off about girls sometimes.

 

[Vermillion]

Let me repost and expand the second paragraph of what you quoted. I know, it's a lot of text. I'm sorry.

You also give pretty much everybody the benefit of the doubt, because naturally some people are bad at communicating (sometimes the trailer is worse than the movie). Nobody's perfect. This is why you sometimes rush into it and hope for the best. You go on a lot of dates and a lot of them aren't relationship material. There's no commitment with dating, it's a process where you get closer to a person and understand them better.

Even a relationship will be a learning period. You will be learning about each other the entire time you're together. That's part of what love is - it grows based on the more you understand someone.

I read it all. But if you don't expect the movie to be good, what are you giving the benefit of the doubt to? Are you operating on the assumption that you'll like every movie, regardless of the trailer (every girl regardless of the initial impression)?

 

[Silent_Bomber]

Seriously when women hear men say "relationship" do they think the man only wants sex? and not, like, day to day companionship, someone to settle down with etc?

Sorry, but it feels like this at the moment.

 

[Dr Stabbingworth]

That's fair enough, but it works the other way around too. These threads are full of the drivel you mentioned and it sucks, but there's just as many people making similarly ignorant statements about what men should and shouldn't do.

But I agree with you in principle: these threads (and any gender-related subject at all really) turn to shit because people aren't interested in hearing anyone else's perspective on it. I don't think, in the entire history of the internet, anyone has had their opinion swayed by what someone else has posted!

That would be a pretty grim assessment of online interaction if it existed only for entertainment value.

My views on transgender people have been significantly swayed by reading their posts on this forum.

 

[commedieu]

I think you're falsely attributing intent that may not be there. The notion of friendship being used as a trojan horse for manipulating women into a romantic relationship seems utterly bizarre to me. Maybe the guy is just timid and finds it difficult to express himself. Maybe the attraction grew over time.

Maybe.

But outside of a maybe, there are several instances of it here, in this very thread, of it being used as a trojan horse. A lot is based on experience. And a lot of people do this. I find it weird that as a 30 year old american male, that so many people are coming out of the woodwork to pretend that this isn't a thing. Its a thing, and its manipulation.

Its a sad way to try to get anyone. And sure, maybe this, and maybe that. But what is happening in todays world, is a whole lot of people trying to take friendships to the significant other level. Its intentions. If you're just friends, and you eventually end up romantic, thats natural, and no one would have any issue with that.

Being friends with someone that you want to date, but don't have the game to do so, are the folks that are ruining things for everyone.

 

[jasonng]

I think you're falsely attributing intent that may not be there. The notion of friendship being used as a trojan horse for manipulating women into a romantic relationship seems utterly bizarre to me. Maybe the guy is just timid and finds it difficult to express himself. Maybe the attraction grew over time.

Nobody wins in the scenario Fiction put out and no one is arguing against that. Attraction that grew over the course of the friendship is certainly plausible. If you think that using friendship as a way to manipulate women is bizarre, I definitely agree.

 

[Count Dookkake]

actually i can't think of a time when "be a man" wasn't a terrible thing to say. I honestly can't think of a single time where someone used the phrase "be a man" and that made me think "oh hey, that individual has a really good point" not once. In fact I think I've only ever heard it used to stifle and silence complaint and criticism.

This has little to do with any discussion I am engaged in.

The poster who made that statement has subsequently explained it further for those who need such help.

 

[blame space]

finally, tommymanburg puts the raw truth out in the open.

 

[PairOfFilthySocks]

Because putting yourself in any situation that could be perceived as being more than platonic, watching a movie together, spending time alone together, that's social ineptitude now. You have to practically scream "I don't want to date you", and hope things don't get weird. Yeah, that sounds socially normal.

All I'll say is I've done it before with girls I knew for >1 year. I didn't find it to be terribly difficult, and I'm not a mastermind of social engineering. A minor comment here and there, maybe some blabber about some other girl I'd taken a fancy to, or what a good bro-friend they are, and bam, bob's your uncle. It didn't always work out perfectly-one girl I did this to basically cut off all contact with me, but it was gonna happen sooner or later.

I just find it hard to believe someone couldn't pick up on *any* clue that someone else is mad for them.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Fuck it. Here goes:

Straight guys don't have attractive girls that are just "friends".

Fact: If given the opportunity, a straight guy would have sex with an attractive girl that's a friend without question. Girls are wired differently, they won't necessarily do that. But with a guy, we're ready to fuck at the drop of a hat.

The girl in the article is either an idiot or a narcissist looking for attention. It's quite obvious why a guy would not want to talk to you as much or hang out with you after you've turned him down. How can you blame a guy for putting you in the "girlfriend zone"? At least that's more natural than this "friend zone" bullshit.". All that shit the girl talked about; going to movies, inviting him over for parties, revealing feelings; those things are done by people in relationships. If you're an attractive girl and he's a straight guy and you are doing those things, you are fucking leading him on horribly and and you're kind of an ass for getting upset that he doesn't want to talk to you again after you've rejected him.

Guys are very VERY simple creatures. We like to eat good food, fuck sexy women (or most even mildly attractive women for that matter), and generally avoid drama if possible. If a guys girlfriend ask him "what's wrong" and he says, "nothing", 9 times out of 10 there is probably nothing wrong. But when it's a guy asking the girl, and she says "nothing" it's always a fucking ruse because they're irrational most times. It's those types of things that leads to garbage like this, where a girl feels justified in complaining about being put in the "girl friend zone". I've never heard of such trash before. The girl is pretty much saying "I'm hot and how dare you want to be in a relationship with me after I've led you on like crazy. How dare you not want to be my friend anymore when I say 'hells no you ain't getting no ass'". Really? GTFO. Shit like this pisses me off about girls sometimes.

This is rich.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Bisexual guys only have ugly friends. Poor fellas.

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

Fuck this thread, I am going to bump my "Friendzone" thread...in 3...2...1

 

[Thunder Monkey]

finally, tommymanburg puts the raw truth out in the open.

It was definitely an interesting string of consciousness.

 

[Plywood]

 

[Transhuman]

The poster said something like "be a man" and you read that as something like "don't have feelings."

The other person missing him/or her doesn't mean there's an obligation towards friendship. I think it's possible to break off a relationship not out of spite while also not being indifferent to the other person's feelings. I don't even think it would be a shitty thing to do.

 

[jasonng]

Fuck it. Here goes:

Straight guys don't have attractive girls that are just "friends".

Fact: If given the opportunity, a straight guy would have sex with an attractive girl that's a friend without question. Girls are wired differently, they won't necessarily do that. But with a guy, we're ready to fuck at the drop of a hat.

The girl in the article is either an idiot or a narcissist looking for attention. It's quite obvious why a guy would not want to talk to you as much or hang out with you after you've turned him down. How can you blame a guy for putting you in the "girlfriend zone"? At least that's more natural than this "friend zone" bullshit.". All that shit the girl talked about; going to movies, inviting him over for parties, revealing feelings; those things are done by people in relationships. If you're an attractive girl and he's a straight guy and you are doing those things, you are fucking leading him on horribly and and you're kind of an ass for getting upset that he doesn't want to talk to you again after you've rejected him.

Guys are very VERY simple creatures. We like to eat good food, fuck sexy women (or most even mildly attractive women for that matter), and generally avoid drama if possible. If a guys girlfriend ask him "what's wrong" and he says, "nothing", 9 times out of 10 there is probably nothing wrong. But when it's a guy asking the girl, and she says "nothing" it's always a fucking ruse because they're irrational most times. It's those types of things that leads to garbage like this, where a girl feels justified in complaining about being put in the "girl friend zone". I've never heard of such trash before. The girl is pretty much saying "I'm hot and how dare you want to be in a relationship with me after I've led you on like crazy. How dare you not want to be my friend anymore when I say 'hells no you ain't getting no ass'". Really? GTFO. Shit like this pisses me off about girls sometimes.

Jesus Fucking Christ. I'm so sick of reading bullshit like this. Apparently I need to befriend ugly people. Get your head out of your ass.

 

[Lissar]

Straight guys don't have attractive girls that are just "friends".

By which you mean you don't. There have already been plenty of guys in here refuting this statement. I suppose they're all wrong?

 

[commedieu]

finally, tommymanburg puts the raw truth out in the open.

 

[Philia]

I'm really sorry for you guys. I suspect some girls just do it for attention. :\

I'll never forget Himuro's going out the way he did. I totally respect him calling her bullshit out but his permban wasn't worth it for that.

 

[Satch]

ive never seen so many people miss a point so incredibly oh my god hahahahahahahahaha

 

[Despera]

" I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date."

DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I lol'd

 

[CrunchyB]

Everyone should watch this video. Because it's hilarious.

Day[9]'s story on nerds talking to girls

Ok, that is amazing

Spoiler

and obviously not with a happy ending!

The passive/calculating approach of many nerds is obviously a recipe for disaster. First impressions are 50% of the game. If you present yourself as an androgenic buddy you will never become anything else.

They really should teach kids stuff like this in school. My parents never did and I don't have older siblings. I had to figure all this out for myself! If only I learned this stuff when I was 18! So much drama could have been avoided.