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[Messofanego]

The autonomic nervous system (sympathetic and parasympathetic) is composed of two bodily responses. Fight or flight, and rest and digest. Sympathetic nervous system is directing blood to where it needs to go so you can get run or right, and those areas of the body would be your extremities and your brain. It's what gives you a higher heart rate, make you sweat, the whole stress thing.

When you're pooping, you're resting and digesting. That's the parasympathetic nervous system at work. It's directing blood away from the brain and extremities and to your intestines so your muscles can contract there to move your stuff along.

When you're sitting on a toilet with a phone or some reading, you're more focused on that activity than your pooping. The blood is being directed to your brain. Intestinal activity will slow down, and therefore you'll stay on the toilet longer to poop. A poop that would take 5 minutes or less can be extended to 10 minutes. We are pretty stationary people already, so more sitting isn't good, leading to possible constipation.

That's my theory at least.

That's why I've stopped taking these things into the toilet. I'd rather my business done with quickly, so my leg doesn't go numb and tingly from having sat for so long, and not develop constipation.

That's your silly PSA for the day.

 

[wesleyshark]

Did you type all that while on the crapper?

 

[Zombine]

I only shit when I have to go.

 

[Dio]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

 

[mariachi507]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

That's not good for their ass.

 

[Rentahamster]

You spend the same amount of time actually shitting. You just spend a lot longer time sitting on the toilet with a shitty asshole because you're doing another activity.

 

[Count Dookkake]

When you're a goldfish.

 

[Pamplemousse]

I always take the same amount of time.

 

[Darryl M R]

I have never played video games, or read on the toilet. Get in and out.

 

[MilkBeard]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

IBS is a terrible thing

 

[Disxo]

Well, I noticed that Is something males tend to do, but regarding the reason for that? Thats a mistery.

 

[nyan]

I've never brought my phone when doing my business, some people are way too attached to their screens than me I guess

 

[always crazy bacon]

When you have kids sometimes a toilet break in the only time you get as an adult, so you better enjoy it lol.

No lies detected.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I have never played video games, or read on the toilet. Get in and out.

.

I hate taking shits. The worst bodily function.


*Other than at work.

 

[formasymphonic]

divided attention

 

[this_guy]

Not sure, it's probably because of science. I'll go with science.

 

[HStallion]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

People are always surprised by how fast I shit. Unless I have stomach problems or I'm sick I'm in there and out in like a minute or two.

 

[Hyun Sai]

The fastest way for me is to bring my laptop and do some hard solving problems or work research. Best laxative ever.

 

[Monocle]

I am presently pooping and this thread has left me mildly unsettled.

 

[Handsomejan]

do you really take a 10 minute shit or do you do your business in 2-3 minutes and sit on your ass browsing gaf for another 5-6?

 

[Futureman]

When you're sitting on a toilet with a phone or some reading, you're more focused on that activity than your pooping.

Currently on the toilet and don't agree with this. I generally poop really quick, totally focused on the poop, and then I chill for a minute or so on the phone... replying to posts on GAF.

 

[womfalcs3]

I usually shit, brush my teeth and check the phone all at once.

 

[Mediking]

Lmao I'm crying.

 

[830920]

Personally I'm usually done with my business well before I leave. It's just such a nice time in there, so why hurry it?

 

[Haribi]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

It's similiar for me, albeit not as extrem. I take 15-20 minute long shits. It just keeps coming.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

It's similiar for me, albeit not as extrem. I take 15-20 minute long shits. It just keeps coming.

You should see a doctor.

 

[Sushi Nao]

Because it's the only period of calm solace in the horrifying nightmare reality which we inhabit

 

[Haribi]

You should see a doctor.

Yeah I guess I should. I also fart a lot and feel a bit bloated sometimes.
No pain or anything though.

 

[Transistor]

Never understood people who spend more than 5 minutes taking a dump. I get in there, I do my business, and I get out.

 

[Magwik]

I usually spend a long time on the toilet but it's not because I have poop problems. It's just a leftover habit from hiding in the bathroom at my old job for 30 minutes at a time.

 

[BeforeU]

Never understood people who spend more than 5 minutes taking a dump. I get in there, I do my business, and I get out.

Same.

But I think we are one of those lucky one with good digestion system. I have fri3nds who have to wake up 30min early for this. Meanwhile, I go in and out in 2 min.

And ya I dont use my phone while pooping

 

[lem0n]

How people just don't fire one out and get on with their day, is beyond me. I have other things I want to do in my day, not just sit in a small room with a bunch of farticles floating around smh

 

[Cepheus]

I always considered using a phone/reading something etc to be really unhygienic, but that's just me.

 

[tanooki27]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

a minute max?! either you're fucking with us, or you need to relax a bit more on the john. take a few more seconds to collect yourself after the act.

 

[Herr Schwarz]

I never understood the people that take above 5 minutes to take a healthy shit at home.

You sit on the toilet then poop it out. Job done, get up and move on.

 

[Herr Schwarz]

I always considered using a phone/reading something etc to be really unhygienic, but that's just me.

If you're shitting all over your hands it probably is

Edit: sorry double post my phone is lagging out and I thought it hadn't posted.

 

[gun_haver]

If you're shitting all over your hands it probably is

Edit: sorry double post my phone is lagging out and I thought it hadn't posted.

You're getting interference from the faecal particles in the air.

 

[Lubricus]

I don't poop longer, the stools are the same length even if I read a book.

 

[horkrux]

I'll never understand taking more than 30 seconds to a minute on the toilet unless you've got some sort of actual bodily issue.

I have a friend who takes 40 minute long shits and it's not even necessarily because they fuck around on their phone, they actually spend the whole time shitting.

Sitting (not necessarily shitting) on the toilet is one of the most relaxing things you can do. Why would you only ever want to sit there for a minute..

 

[ugaboga232]

That is not how the blood flow works when you are at rest. You don't actively shunt blood away from your brain pretty much ever (the whole point of the cardiovascular system is to keep your brain alive and then and only then keep your more important organs working).

The real answer is just that phones are distracting and for people with IBS, we tend to use it as a phone break.

 

[BeforeU]

Sitting (not necessarily shitting) on the toilet is one of the most relaxing things you can do. Why would you only ever want to sit there for a minute..

The most satisfying and relaxing feeling is when you poop all at once, which is like 20-30sec. If you poop in pieces, and takes you 20min. That is the most unsatisfying feeling you can get.

 

[nded]

Oh, you're talking about spending more time pooping. But how do I get longer turds, OP?

 

[Count Dookkake]

Oh, you're talking about spending more time pooping. But how do I get longer turds, OP?

Ask that performance artist who, over the course of a day or so, shat down the length of a bowling alley. Talented woman.

 

[Shadynasty]

When you're pooping, you're resting and digesting. That's the parasympathetic nervous system at work. It's directing blood away from the brain and extremities and to your intestines so your muscles can contract there to move your stuff along.

This is why nonconstructive posting is called shit posting. Stop posting on the toilet.

 

[One Eyed Willy]

Every time I sit down to crap, I pull out a phone or shampoo bottle and the turd has already hit water by then. Welp, wrap that up.

I've never had a poop last longer than maybe 5 minutes my entire life.

 

[Enduin]

Ya'll need more fiber or something in your diets. Even though I always have my phone with me it normally takes like 3 seconds for me to squeeze it out. I barely have enough time to unlock my phone most of the time.

 

[daviyoung]

haha, poop!

 

[Zantetsuken]

Love me a good poop thread. I do not know why though.

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

Hate this internet trend of being lectured on the proper way to take a shit. Talk about overthinking it.

 

[BLOODED_hands]

Yeah, usually when I poop the poop doesn't last longer than a minute or two. I just like to listen to a few songs before I get up off my ass. So it usually takes 5-10 minutes for me to finish. Granted I am living with my siblings so I rarely get any private time so being on the toilet or in the bathroom is one of the more private settings for me.