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[Bossking]

Most offensive part of Fallout 3 to me was when they basically just ripped off I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, except you could actually punish this game's AM by basically smacking a bunch of items in a room and summoning a Chinese army.

What a stupid, pointless segment.

 

[DukeBobby]

I still enjoyed Heavy Rain a lot, it worked on a character level for me, the story was a confusing mess for the most part, but somehow it worked for me and in comparison to Fahrenheit it's sensible.......... Heavy Rain seemed to have some supernatural ideas, I think it was good that this was dropped, see Fahrenheits last third.

I'm honestly a bit afraid of Beyond because they went back to the supernatural stuff.

To be fair, Fahrenheit had wacky supernatural shit right from the start, but Cage chose to keep it under wraps for the first half of the game, before unleashing all of the batshit insane stuff in the second half.

Let's hope he doesn't do the same in Beyond, although I'm not hopeful.

 

[Storm Chamber]

Heavy Rain
LA Noire

 

[Berksy]

Diablo 3. It was hack'n slash so i tried to be like "whatever lol" but story was so bad for a game this big that i wasn't able to get over it.

 

[antitrop]

Diablo 3. It was hack'n slash so i tried to be like "whatever lol" but story was so bad for a game this big that i wasn't able to get over it.

Well, even though the genre itself isn't known for telling a story anyone gives a shit about, Diablo III is still several GIGANTIC notches below what Diablo II was doing for a story.

Classic: Diablo III story in 3 minutes

 

[AkuMifune]

Condemned 2..

Spoiler

So Ethan, who used to solve serial killer cases for the FBI and looked like an Indian American and now happens to be a while alcoholic emo-hobo, teams up with his old partner Lisa who used to be an average looking African American who turned into Beyonce, to pointlessly beat the shit out of other hobos and uncover a conspiracy about a cult who augment their mouths and vocal chords with what look like oversized metal piercings in order to make other people's heads explode by screaming at them, an ability Ethan is naturally gifted with, and proceed to kill every single one of them by screaming at them and shooting their shit up with an automatic assault rifle because why the fuck not..

Seriously..

Yeah, thanks. People remember 2 for the (admittedly awesome) bear scene and not how it KILLED the franchise with some seriously dumb bullshit.

 

[Storm Chamber]

Man I really want to defend MGS4 but I really have no urge to play that game ever again.

 

[Morzak]

This
You cannot finish the game without killing more than 100 people. It's a ridiculous plot.

This for me was a serious problem in the Uncharted games, nice adventure movie type story, but the protagonist outside of the custscenes is John Rambo 2.0 (UC1 had even more problems, and UC2 solved that with just throwing an insane story at you).

GTA IV took itself way to seriously, for a game that can't even get the basics of the main character right, like pronounciation of the last name..

 

[Nimby]

Can I say Eternal Sonata?

 

[Violence Jack]

For the sake of not repeating obvious choices (FFXIII, Metroid: Other M)

AC3
Dante's Inferno
Velvet Assassin

 

[Taker34]

Far Cry 2 by FAR. Anyone who can explain the story to me deserves the Nobel Prize in Literature. It doesn't make sense, like... I don't even have words for this. "Confusing mess" isn't the appropriate term, but you get the idea.

Then there's Halo... I don't get it. Halo: Reach is very stupid on it's own. It's just Space Republicans to me. Even though the game is really enjoyable with several players. Too bad the story isn't appealing enough to me.

 

[jivran]

To be quite honest, I was unimpressed with the stories of most games I played this gen. Some that really stand out are:

Uncharted 2 and 3
Diablo 3
Fallout 3
Oblivion
Gears of War
God of War (probably the biggest offender)

Edit: Oh, and, of course, Other M.

 

[Morzak]

To be fair, Fahrenheit had wacky supernatural shit right from the start, but Cage chose to keep it under wraps for the first half of the game, before unleashing all of the batshit insane stuff in the second half.

Let's hope he doesn't do the same in Beyond, although I'm not hopeful.

Yeah the supernatural in Fahrenheit wasn't exactly surprising, but the way they did it they went from sane story with some supernatural stuff, to batshit insane in an instant nothing in that last 3rd made any sense and I loved the game to bits at the time.

 

[Canis lupus]

Final Fantasy XIII

This. Most nonsensical story in a game this gen.

 

[rosaceadude2112]

Far Cry 2 by FAR. Anyone who can explain the story to me deserves the Nobel Prize in Literature. It doesn't make sense, like... I don't even have words for this. "Confusing mess" isn't the appropriate term, but you get the idea.

Then there's Halo... I don't get it. Halo: Reach is very stupid on it's own. It's just Space Republicans to me. Even though the game is really enjoyable with several players. Too bad the story isn't appealing enough to me.

http://www.popmatters.com/column/71590-far-cry-2-the-heart-of-darkness-game/

 

[Figboy79]

The Third Birthday probably has the most genuinely bad story out of all of the games I've seen listed in here. Everything about that "narrative" is a mess. It's incomprehensible bullshit. Which is a shame, because, despite the absurd difficulty, the game is actually pretty cool (especially playing on the Vita with the second analog stick controlling the camera/aiming).

This. Most nonsensical story in a game this gen.

Honestly, The Third Birthday has it beat by miles. If you haven't played it, just look up some videos if you can. FFXIII's story made infinitely more sense in comparison.

 

[Empty]

probably haven't played the worst but i think halo reach and ffxiii are the only games where i've skipped cutscenes because i'm so bored

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

Fucking oops.

Wrong thread.

 

[Regiruler]

I am reading three sentences of the third birthday plot dump and I can feel my soul leaving my body.

 

[adamsapple]

As bad as Secret File 3 sounds, it still doesn't top The 3rd Birthday.

Like, what in the actual fuck. Someone help me in summarizing this nonsense.

Spoiler

The game stars Aya Brea, a superwoman who enjoys extended youth despite being a 30+ year old cop and has superpowers thanks to her magical mitochondria. Unfortunately, mitochondria does not come up once in this game, so you just kind of have to infer it/played prior games in the series.

So now you have Aya Brea fighting tentacle monsters that can warp through space and time called "The Twisted." They seem to pour out of a gigantic organic tower that spontaneously erupted in NYC called "Babel." Naturally, some government team recruits Aya Brea and forms the "Counter Twisted Investigation" (consisting of Aya, a jiving black dude named Cray, a woman named Gabrielle, her guide named Hyde, and a computer hacker named Blank) to fight them, led by some FBI dickhead that doesn't trust Aya due to her powers. However, instead of fighting them conventionally, the government somehow builds the "Overdive" System, a computer program that sends Aya's consciousness back in time in order to possess random members of the National Guard in order to fight the Twisted that way. Whenever Aya possesses someone, it only appears to be Aya for gameplay purposes; to everyone else, it's just the same military dude. (We will let slide how this makes no sense in combination with the game's damage "gimmick" where if Aya gets damaged enough, you can potentially strip her to some shreds of her torn clothes and her bra and thong). This "send Aya back in time" plan never works.

After a spectacular failure of her first mission, she returns to the present time and learns that her dickhead FBI boss disappeared, somehow. Her guide, Hyde, is still alive and tells Aya to go back in the past again to fight more Twisted. During this mission, it is revealed through a flashback that Gabrielle actually died a few months ago. Aya does so, fails again, and comes back to the present to find out that Cray was killed offscreen three days prior, and Aya needs to go back in time to save Cray. Also, dickhead FBI Boss is alive again and threatens to kill Aya because her powers are dangerous. Hyde talks him down and convinces Aya to go back in time to save Cray. Oh yeah, Gabrielle is alive again. Aya does not sweat the details, nor does the game really explain or hint why she's alive.

Aya goes back in time three days to help out a random SWAT team and to save Cray somehow. Gabrielle is still alive and decides to be Aya's guide. Aya gets as far as destroying the Babel, but it turns out that there are multiple Babels that house a big shitload of Twisted tentacle monsters. In the present, dickhead FBI boss uses sleeping gas to knock out the team because... he wanted to send Aya to her death for... reasons. Also, Gabrielle turns into a Twisted and Aya is forced to kill her. In present day, Gabrielle wakes up, and is about to kill FBI boss, but she suddenly vanishes because Aya killed her three days prior when she turned into a Twisted. Man, what can Aya possibly do when considering that FBI boss is about to get his way and remove his most feared obstacle to [insert goal here], Aya Brea!?

... Aya travels back to the present and Cray (who is alive again despite how Aya did nothing to really save him) informs Aya that FBI Boss suddenly disappeared and Aya can do whatever the fuck she wants. That's all the explanation you get; he's just gone from the story after this point. The datalog implies that he was literally kidnapped by Russians. At this point, Hyde tells Aya to go overdive into a National Guard team that attacked Babel last and Cray has a hissy fit because of the idea of using Aya for warfare (?!). She attacks the Babel and there is a very bizarre subplot of past-Cray killing the National Guard team, impersonating the Captain, and threatening to kill Aya so he can be with his daughter again or some shit. Past-Cray tells Aya to look for her sister Eve, who Aya doesn't really remember. Past-Cray merges with the Babel and dies, and Present Cray disappears.

And then, suddenly a timeskip occurs. Aya is now rooming with a Parasite Eve 1 character, Maeda!

Too bad he is a complete and total creeper and borderline predator.

Spoiler

Oh yeah, Aya's team was wiped out off-screen when Aya got done with that Past-Cray/Present-Cray nonsense by Kyle, the Parasite Eve 2 equivalent of Carlos from Resident Evil 3. Kyle now has superpowers for some reason. Aya goes off and hijacks a random National Guard member (Maeda has an Overdive system of his own set up in his apartment living room somehow), fights Kyle (who turns into a super-twisted called a "High One"), and all Babels across NYC merged into one massive structure called the Grand Babel.

In the Grand Babel, it is revealed that the true villain all along was Hyde! He manipulated Aya to fight and kill the Twisted just so that the Babels would eventually merge or something, which would create the Grand Babel (which is actually an Overdive System itself, somehow), just so he could go back to a place called "Time Zero." Hyde is also a "High One" Twisted too. Aya beats Hyde, and follows him back into Time Zero, who Hyde boasts as the "birthplace of the Twisted."

It turns out that Time Zero is actually point where Aya was going to marry Kyle. But that was cut short when a random SWAT Team busts in and kills both Aya and Kyle. But remember Eve? Yeah, Eve (the same Eve from Parasite Eve 2, who was actually a child clone of Aya who was designed to control humans who mutated into grotesque forms due to out of control, artificial mitochondria) was also in attendance. Due to the shock of seeing Aya die, Eve spontaneously got the power to Overdive; she Overdived into Aya, which in turn shattered Aya's soul. The fragments of Aya's shattered soul created the Twisted tentacle monsters which could travel time and space (and killed humans indiscriminately). Also, Hyde, Cray, and Gabrielle just happened to be at this wedding despite how Aya did not really know any of them yet. Because they were there, the shattered fragments of Aya's soul turned them into High One Twisted! So you were not playing as Aya all along, but her underage adopted clone sister in a 30 year old's body. Eve/Aya fights and beats Hyde, and Eve/Aya gets the chance to travel back to the start of Time Zero!

So the SWAT comes in, shoots up Aya, but before the SWAT can kill Eve, Aya gets up and headshots every single SWAT guy in the room. Aya gets up just fine despite being riddled with bullets (and there is no explanation for this). Instead of simply just taking Aya to a hospital, Aya says that she needs to be killed by Eve anyway. To this day, like the SWAT Team appearing out of nowhere with no explanation (some people speculate that Hyde overdived into himself in the past in order to arrange the sequence of events that would turn himself into a High One), people still do not know why Aya even needs to die at this point when considering that Aya is still alive, thus there's no danger of Eve forcibly overdiving into Aya's body. Eve and Aya switch bodies and Eve (in Aya's body) shoots Aya (in Eve's body). Thus, the twisted are never formed and an underaged Eve (in Aya's body) marries Kyle in Aya's place. Huh.