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Would you date an under-age (i.e. under 18) person?

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twilitesparklemotion said:
Undergraduates already annoy the shit out of me, so no.

also my sister's in that age bracket so NO
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whats-the-matter-brother-scared-of-your-little-sisters-tight-ass.jpg
 
The Smoking Bun said:
Very good answer and I agree with you. My scenario is a very rare possibility with the question being what if it happened to you? Would you treat a person who say had been caring for a younger sibling, came from a troubled home and showed a certain level of maturity as an adult? Think Mathilda from Leon although probably a bad example
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YMMV. In the US it's illegal and the courts are in the business of someone under 18 because in the eyes of the law, they're still children. They can't drink, smoke, sign a contract, or go to war. However, not ever teenager is created equal, and some of them are much more mature than the 20 and 30 somethings I spend my time around.

kswiston said:
It's less to do with intelligence and more to do with life experience and stages. There are a ton of smart teenagers, and you can definitely have some types of conversations with people who are 16-18, even if you are 10 years older. However, there are going to be certain topics that pretty much everyone in that age bracket will show their naivety when discussing. Teenagers almost always have more black and white views of the world than people who are in their 30s or 40s for instance.

Would I discuss the merits of movies or videogames with a 17 year old, or discuss topics in history, science, etc? Sure. Some of them are going to be quite knowledgeable on those topics depending on their interests. Would I take relationship advice from a 17 year old? No.
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Chalk that up to naivety.
 
kswiston said:
Teenagers almost always have more black and white views of the world than people who are in their 30s or 40s for instance.
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Maybe but the average person isn't terribly nuanced either. From personal experience it seems as their views also become more intransigent as the years go by.
 
figadapaura said:
Most of Europe is 16, but a good few are lower.

Spain is 13.

I would never date a 16 year old.
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So do you think Spanish men in Spain dating 13 year olds and having sex with them are dangerous child predators?

I am not sure how let's say Obama would react if he went to Spain and had to deal with a politician in a relationship with a 13 year old.
 
I think I'm too old for under 18 girls, even though it is legal in England.

Not on a physical level, but on a mental level. I'm sure there are exceptions, but most of the time, the age difference would mean we have little in common.
 
No. What's the point of relationship if there's no sex and you can't even hang out in public?
Doesn't cocern me though, age of consent is 15 here :)
 
supergiz said:
So do you think Spanish men in Spain dating 13 year olds and having sex with them are dangerous child predators?

I am not sure how let's say Obama would react if he went to Spain and had to deal with a politician in a relationship with a 13 year old.
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I think there's a good reason why the age of consent is being raised.
 
Not at all, I find most people below 20 to be way too immature and even then I'd feel weird cuz age gap this and age gap that.
 
supergiz said:
So do you think Spanish men in Spain dating 13 year olds and having sex with them are dangerous child predators?

I am not sure how let's say Obama would react if he went to Spain and had to deal with a politician in a relationship with a 13 year old.
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That wouldn't happen because:

a) It would definitely be fucking weird. I've never heard of any adult dating or having sexual relations with a 13 year old.

b) Statutory rape is still a thing up to 16 years old.

The 13 year old thing is basically a legal vestige from a bygone era that has no bearing in our current society.
 
I'm dating an underage person now. Granted, I'm eighteen, so it's not a big difference. I think that "hard" age of consent laws are a bit ridiculous, because a sixteen year old and an eighteen year old have a lot more in common than an eighteen year old and a forty year old.

It would be cool if the United States had a kind of "buffer rule", in which it's legal to have sex with an underage person but only if they're no more than four or five years younger than you. Or maybe, people aged 25 and over cannot be involved with people under 18, but people in the late teens and early twenties can.
 
DoktorEvil said:
YMMV. In the US it's illegal and the courts are in the business of someone under 18 because in the eyes of the law, they're still children. They can't drink, smoke, sign a contract, or go to war. However, not ever teenager is created equal, and some of them are much more mature than the 20 and 30 somethings I spend my time around.



Chalk that up to naivety.
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Obviously the law must be followed to the letter regardless of our personal beliefs.
However, I think you made a point about being unable to discuss science or history with under 18's.
How many adults do you discuss these subjects with? I mean what are nerds if not exactly the type of people to discuss history and science with?
 
AdrianWerner said:
No. What's the point of relationship if there's no sex and you can't even hang out in public?
Doesn't cocern me though, age of consent is 15 here :)
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So those people saying someone in Spain dating a 13 year old would be a child predator, what would they say about a 15 year old in your country? Is it looked down upon?
 
I'm 19 and I wouldn't do it. 18 is basically my limit as-is.

Valhelm said:
I'm dating an underage person now. Granted, I'm eighteen, so it's not a big difference. I think that "hard" age of consent laws are a bit ridiculous, because a sixteen year old and an eighteen year old have a lot more in common than an eighteen year old and a forty year old.

It would be cool if the United States had a kind of "buffer rule", in which it's legal to have sex with an underage person but only if they're no more than four or five years younger than you. Or maybe, people aged 25 and over cannot be involved with people under 18, but people in the late teens and early twenties can.
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Florida at least has a "Get Out Of Jailbait Free" zone where consensual stuff between ages 16-24 is legal, iirc.
 
besada said:
When I was 19 and working at a comic shop, I met this wonderful girl named Xan. This was in 1995, so it was considerably less common to find any women in comic shops. Xan was incredibly cool, attractive, smart, and funny and it became apparent rapidly that she was interested in me. We;d hang out in the store and chat and flirt.

And then I found out she was fifteen. (Record scratching...)

And I honestly thought about it. And thought about strolling into her house to meet her parents. And her father murdering me. And sadly, I had to end that shit.

Five years later I met my wife (who had just turned 18).
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I was in college and had friendly relationships with some girls who were still in high school. I look young and we had similar interests but I never pursued any of them.
 
AdrianWerner said:
No. What's the point of relationship if there's no sex and you can't even hang out in public?
Doesn't cocern me though, age of consent is 15 here :)
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It's depressing how important sex is for some people. Sex is just a benefit not the main purpose of a relationship.
The purpose of a relationship is to form an emotional bond with someone but I know that sounds like mushy YA Novel stuff

Sub-Zero at a Starbucks said:
IFlorida at least has a "Get Out Of Jailbait Free" zone where consensual stuff between ages 16-24 is legal, iirc.
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Good to know. That means my scenario would be legal in Florida (Not a 14 yr old obviously)

EDIT:

Is the Romeo & Juliet Law from Transformers a real thing?
 
supergiz said:
So those people saying someone in Spain dating a 13 year old would be a child predator, what would they say about a 15 year old in your country? Is it looked down upon?
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15 propably is a bit. But nothing like "OMG! Pedo". 16 though it starts to get accepted as girls enter the highschool then. 17 and nobody will give you trouble.
 
I'm not so sure this is a good idea OP, how about you don't call it a 'relationship' or 'dating' until that person is legally able to choose a person of their own consent to have said relationship with.

I know whomever this is (he or she) seems mature to you, shit, I've met people that have different levels of maturity at all ages but the law is there to protect people and you have no idea what she would do, turn into or become if you were not all nice and lovely together. She could become a pain in the ass or she could tell someone. In all honestly my first paragraph is the best advice I can give to you. The youngest I have ever dated was one year below me and my current partner is 5 days younger than me so I'm far from an expert on this topic but I still think it's for the best.

I'm not saying it's indefensible I'm just saying that it isn't worth it. Wait.

Also, I enjoy the 'here's a seventeen year old you'd all fuck' angle this page has taken
 
I'll date a 1000 year old demon before I fuck with someone under 18.
 
The Smoking Bun said:
It's depressing how important sex is for some people. Sex is just a benefit not the main purpose of a relationship.
The purpose of a relationship is to form an emotional bond with someone but I know that sounds like mushy YA Novel stuff
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No, sex is integral part of any healthy relationship. Without it you can just as well be friends. Plus the OP also said you need to hide it from anyone else, which removes a lot of the other fun non-sex things you could do together.
 
Valhelm said:
I'm dating an underage person now. Granted, I'm eighteen, so it's not a big difference. I think that "hard" age of consent laws are a bit ridiculous, because a sixteen year old and an eighteen year old have a lot more in common than an eighteen year old and a forty year old.

It would be cool if the United States had a kind of "buffer rule", in which it's legal to have sex with an underage person but only if they're no more than four or five years younger than you. Or maybe, people aged 25 and over cannot be involved with people under 18, but people in the late teens and early twenties can.
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Switzerland has a buffer rule, which essentially allows a sexual relationship between two individuals with no bigger age difference than 3 years. I think it's a pretty common sense rule.
 
AdrianWerner said:
15 propably is a bit. But nothing like "OMG! Pedo". 16 though it starts to get accepted as girls enter the highschool then. 17 and nobody will give you trouble.
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Yeah for me personally I would never go as low as 18 or 17 if it was legal in my state but it's super concerning that someone dating a 16 year old would be treated as normal in many 1st world countries but in the USA be condemned to rot in jail and possibly be raped / killed in there.
 
AdrianWerner said:
No, sex is integral part of any healthy relationship. Without it you can just as well be friends. Plus the OP also said you need to hide it from anyone else, which removes a lot of the other fun non-sex things you could do together.
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Well you could take a walk in the park and visit the local malt shop together (you still have those right?). But nothing too extreme like full contact kissing or Hollywood style loud declarations of love. You could go into a club but alcohol would be best avoided.

Sex is integral but people talk like it's the only think and there is no such thing as non-physical love (room bursts into laughter)

heckmanimation said:
REgardless of legalities and everything... I feel like that age is still just a child wthout much maturity and knowledge of the world/life
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Fair enough.

NathanCX said:
I'm not so sure this is a good idea OP, how about you don't call it a 'relationship' or 'dating' until that person is legally able to choose a person of their own consent to have said relationship with.

I know whomever this is (he or she) seems mature to you, shit, I've met people that have different levels of maturity at all ages but the law is there to protect people and you have no idea what she would do, turn into or become if you were not all nice and lovely together. She could become a pain in the ass or she could tell someone. In all honestly my first paragraph is the best advice I can give to you. The youngest I have ever dated was one year below me and my current partner is 5 days younger than me so I'm far from an expert on this topic but I still think it's for the best.

I'm not saying it's indefensible I'm just saying that it isn't worth it. Wait.

Also, I enjoy the 'here's a seventeen year old you'd all fuck' angle this page has taken
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But in my scenario the teen is of a maturity level to actually consent to a relationship although they may be confused obviously. The idea isn't to exploit them, just give them the time of day and see if something works out. You tell me to wait, that's exactly what I was asking. Stay in contact but be willing to wait before going all in with a proper relationship. Courting I would call it unless it sounds creepy.

And thanks for the advice. My current GF is
23 PSYCHE!
 
heckmanimation said:
REgardless of legalities and everything... I feel like that age is still just a child wthout much maturity and knowledge of the world/life
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to me 18-20 is the sweet spot. The most fun girls I've ever met were in those brackets. After 25 it often seems like they just die inside
 
The Smoking Bun said:
Obviously the law must be followed to the letter regardless of our personal beliefs.
However, I think you made a point about being unable to discuss science or history with under 18's.
How many adults do you discuss these subjects with? I mean what are nerds if not exactly the type of people to discuss history and science with?
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I didn't, someone else did.

You don't have to be a "nerd" to discuss politics or science or history or any of those topics, but you should be informed and knowledgeable about what you're talking about.

supergiz said:
So those people saying someone in Spain dating a 13 year old would be a child predator, what would they say about a 15 year old in your country? Is it looked down upon?
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13-14 years old is REALLY pushing it, legal or not.
 
supergiz said:
So those people saying someone in Spain dating a 13 year old would be a child predator, what would they say about a 15 year old in your country? Is it looked down upon?
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A 15 year old dating a 13 year old? Or a man/woman dating a 15 year old?

The first one I'd have no problem with. The second one? I've had friends who dated 20-somethings when they were 14/15 and it didn't seem that weird at the time tbh. Although, now that I am 23, I look at 14/15 year olds like children so I couldn't do it myself.
 
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