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Had sex last night

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B

Bulbo Urethral Baggins

Banned
BlackNMild2k1 said:
you guys are all trippin'

that's how you know she was healthy, because her "hoo ha" smelled like tofu


First, fix your joystick, and then have sex with some tofu.

You meet a hot young girl in class that lives in the dorms and enjoys "sexting"?
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she invites you back to her dorm after the first date and her roommate is conveniently not around?
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she tells you she's on the pill and and takes you at your word that you are clean?
(as if either of you would be truthful at this moment...)
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she lets you ride bareback and never even once brought up the word condom...?
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she hoped off your dick and then sucked the cum from your tip...?
(did she swallow?)
trust me, it ain't her first time.


But at this point, if you can use this chick to boost your experience level for a while, then go for it.
I bet you could even get some anal out of her, because
trust me, it ain't her first time.
Click to expand...
That's poetry man. Beautiful.
 
M

morch

Member
BlackNMild2k1 said:
You meet a hot young girl in class that lives in the dorms and enjoys "sexting"?
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she invites you back to her dorm after the first date and her roommate is conveniently not around?
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she tells you she's on the pill and and takes you at your word that you are clean?
(as if either of you would be truthful at this moment...)
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she lets you ride bareback and never even once brought up the word condom...?
trust me, it ain't her first time.

she hoped off your dick and then sucked the cum from your tip...?
(did she swallow?)
trust me, it ain't her first time.


But at this point, if you can use this chick to boost your experience level for a while, then go for it.
I bet you could even get some anal out of her, because
trust me, it ain't her first time.
Click to expand...

thumbs up, yeah just make the most of it...

love the dramatic reading link, nearly pissed myself!
 
P

PsihoPerihelion

Member
24FrameDaVinci said:
I'll just leave this here... http://hadsexlastnight.ytmnd.com/
Click to expand...

George-Costanza-clapping.gif


The part where you crack-up is killing me (assuming is you)
 
P

pizza dog

Banned
wait wait wait OP also started this thread: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=670205

Heavy said:
Barely fit that title in! Just a quick question, can someone see if I read their text if I don't have an iPhone? I read the other day that iPhone has a new thing it can notify you when the other person reads your text.

On another note, just in an attempt to not make this thread completely terrible, what are your guys rules on how fast to text back someone you're mutually interested in? Do you even have any?
Click to expand...

WE SAW ALL THE MAGIC HAPPEN.
 
K

keltickennedy

Member
Heavy said:
The total time spent actually having sex was maybe like 7 minutes but like 4-5 of it was pretty fast. Someone asked if she had an orgasm, I dunno. When we were fast and faster her time between breaths and moans became shorter so maybe she was close but probably not. Isn't it only like 20% of girls can have an orgasm with intercourse. Forgot to mention what her vagina tasted/smelled like. It didn't really smell like anything while i was down there. When i was driving home i smelled my two fingers a bunch of times and there was a scent but it wasn't a bad scent but it's not a good one either, it's like the tofu of scents meaning tofu doesn't really taste good or bad it's just tofu.
Click to expand...

LMFAO. I would of loved to be sitting at a stop light and you pull up and I see you doing that. Lol. We both press are fists on the window BROFIST.
 
N

NoTacos

Member
First off congrats OP, welcome to the club. But really my boy you got to wrap it up! She may seem clean but some of these females be trifling like a motherfucker. Also, I wouldn't suggest going down on her again, at least until you decide to keep dating and make it official.

Great story nonetheless.
 
V

vikki

Member
Congrats OP, don't forget to call her today.

I agree with some of the people telling you to cut back on the masturbating, sex will never be the same as you beating up on yourself. There is hope though, the best orgasms I have ever had are from sex, I shot over her head from the back end, and not diddling. Funny enough, I have had some pretty stifled orgasms with the same person who has given me the best ones, it's a matter of finding out what is best for you and her.

First times are usually pretty awkward, maybe you couldn't get hard because you were nervous, drunk, desensitized, or any combination of the three, but I can assure you that as long as you are attracted to her getting it up shouldn't be a problem. Blowjobs can be bad, I know my first girlfriend and the one I lost my virginity to was so bad at them that I preferred she not even try, but when you get someone who knows what they are doing then it is amazing. I think once you learn what she likes and she learns what you like the sex becomes incredible.

I am happy for you OP, I want you to keep at it and have some good sex.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Az said:
I wouldn't take Batigol seriously guys. He likes to troll s bit, its known.
Click to expand...

Or he really does shit in the shower, metaphorically crap all over a girl cause he can't have sex everyday, and did fuck his sister at his dad's wedding the first time he met her.

Batigol. It should be a verb.
 
T

Tragicomedy

Member
Heavy said:
When i was driving home i smelled my two fingers a bunch of times and there was a scent but it wasn't a bad scent but it's not a good one either, it's like the tofu of scents meaning tofu doesn't really taste good or bad it's just tofu.
Click to expand...

Did her tits feel like big bags of sand?
 
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
I swear I heard a chocobo in that dramatic reading.
 
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Anticitizen One said:
im 28 and still a Virg. This gives me hope!

So OP your saying I should lie to girls and pretend im not virgin?
Click to expand...

I don't see why its so shameful to just pay a professional at that point. Seems like its better than just being awkward or having to find a girl that isn't weird about pulling your V card.
 
R

Radec

Member
Awesome story OP.


But you deserves a new tag bro.

Heavy
I started kissing and licking her inner thighs near her hoo-ha.
 
B

BlueSteel

Member
Between Batigol and Heavy, I have not laughed so much at a thread... at least within the past month.

Congrats Heavy. Be more careful next time though!
 
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