Sunster
Member
idk I'll ask her.
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Have your opposite sex friendships fizzled out as you gotten older?
- Thread starter entremet
- Start date
idk I'll ask her.
Naked Snake
Member
When you guys say you have no friends, what do you really mean?
I'm the most introverted guy I know by a large margin, 39 years old, single and I happily spend 99% of my time by myself, yet I wouldn't say that I have no friends. I do communicate and occasionally meet with a number of people I like to call friends. Some of them I'm pretty close to and we always do favors for each other.
I'm gay and I think I used to have more girl friends in the past. Nowadays my friends are mainly guys, a healthy mix of straight and gay, all unmarried.
I'm the most introverted guy I know by a large margin, 39 years old, single and I happily spend 99% of my time by myself, yet I wouldn't say that I have no friends. I do communicate and occasionally meet with a number of people I like to call friends. Some of them I'm pretty close to and we always do favors for each other.
I'm gay and I think I used to have more girl friends in the past. Nowadays my friends are mainly guys, a healthy mix of straight and gay, all unmarried.
Earthbound64
Banned
Most people are stating it.
Sorry if I get you into more trouble
FairyD
The Man Who Stares at Girls
PixelatedBookake
Junior Member
I'm surprised with some of the people in this thread saying they've never had women friends. How is that even possible? Like, not in mocking kind of way, but half the planet is women and you haven't had a SINGLE women friend? I don't believe that.
Earthbound64
Banned
From what I'm gathering from some people in here, it's because if they had female friends, they would want to have sex with them or otherwise be physically attracted to them.
If I were female, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that. Way too weird.
Vicetrailia
Member
I have had some but not friendships that last. When everyone is attracted to one another, and is single, it just doesn't last. Now I have a GF now who has a house with her best friend, and in that way we can potentially friends with staying power.
entremet
Member
I guess it's how people define friends. Some use the word loosely, while others don't.
Acquaintances versus friends and so on.
I guess over time, people get married and you become friends with their spouse as well, so regardless of gender, you gain friends in some cases. I've had some single friends who got married and essentially disappeared too. But as far as single friends who are still single right now, it's true that I have way fewer than I used to, but I think that's just because a higher percentage of people at my age are married.
And honestly, as many are saying, the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to maintain friendships if you're married and have your own kids. You start to become friends of convenience with your kids' friends' parents too.
Gai Murakumo
Member
In my field of work there tends to be more Females than Males. So I actually have more Female friends now then back when I was younger.
Aizo
Banned
I have always had a large number of female friends since I was young, and I often times get along better with women than men. I've maintained that since moving internationally and making a completely new group of friends. What's odd is dealing with culture differences here and sometimes having my female friends tell me that we can't hang out anymore because they got a boyfriend, despite us never being romantic. Didn't really happen to me back home outside of high school when some of my friends dated jealous tools.
hey_monkey
Banned
No. I've always had close friendships across the gender spectrum. I think it's pretty limiting not to. As a grad student, too, particularly in a subfield that's largely male dominated, I would have far fewer people to hang out with if I didn't. And I travel often with groups of colleagues and share beds and none of it's a big deal because it's not a big deal (nor is it a big deal to my husband).
Same (except the bisexual part).
I visit my bestie in Florida a few times a years. I text her man all the time cause we have a lot in common. Nothing sexual has ever happen or would happen. My wife loves her as does my family.
30, unmarried straight man, most of my closest friends are women, some of whom are married with children and full-time jobs. Each of these friendships are stronger than ever. Met most through community theater, so a wide variety of ages, backgrounds, identities, etc. Only friendships I've had a hard time maintaining were never really close in the first place, often with people who are deeply cynical, or just too devoted to their busy schedules.
I suppose most people are lacking a venue to make and maintain friendships after school/college, and I really wish there was a simple way to resolve that.
I suppose most people are lacking a venue to make and maintain friendships after school/college, and I really wish there was a simple way to resolve that.
family_guy
Member
Two close female friends pretty much disappeared when they got in relationships. Someone told me that it was because they were tired of waiting around for me to make a move but I only ever wanted friendship.
The only opposite sex friendships that have fizzled out are the ones that were a little more than platonic. They got pretty jealous and weird after I got married. We still chat, but not nearly as much.
As for my platonic friendships with women, no, they haven't fizzled out at all. We're still good friends and try to hang out when our schedules permit. I've always had a lot more girl friends than boy friends, so not much has changed since I've gotten older and married. I've even met new women friends and those relationships seem to be great as well.
I think it boils down more to availability in terms of free time. I don't have as much free time as I used to, so my relationships with both men and women have been reduced. It's why I like social media like Facebook. I can at least keep in touch fairly regularly, even if we don't hang out all of the time like we used to.
As for my platonic friendships with women, no, they haven't fizzled out at all. We're still good friends and try to hang out when our schedules permit. I've always had a lot more girl friends than boy friends, so not much has changed since I've gotten older and married. I've even met new women friends and those relationships seem to be great as well.
I think it boils down more to availability in terms of free time. I don't have as much free time as I used to, so my relationships with both men and women have been reduced. It's why I like social media like Facebook. I can at least keep in touch fairly regularly, even if we don't hang out all of the time like we used to.
I always had a great time with girls growing up, but somehow it never resulted into friendships.
in my case "no friends" means I don't socialize with anyone. no get togethers, no phone calls or messages. the people I used to hang out with were on my facebook page, but hardly had any interaction with them. last year I gave one of them a steam code of a game I thought he'd like, we had a little chat afterwards, very friendly superficial small talk. a week later my facebook account was blocked (I used a stupid fake name when I made my facebook and instead of just be upfront and tell me to change it, he reported my account - fucking spineless piece of shit).
I never managed to have gay friends. *shrugs* it's all good, though. I'm a lot happier being alone.
in my case "no friends" means I don't socialize with anyone. no get togethers, no phone calls or messages. the people I used to hang out with were on my facebook page, but hardly had any interaction with them. last year I gave one of them a steam code of a game I thought he'd like, we had a little chat afterwards, very friendly superficial small talk. a week later my facebook account was blocked (I used a stupid fake name when I made my facebook and instead of just be upfront and tell me to change it, he reported my account - fucking spineless piece of shit).
I never managed to have gay friends. *shrugs* it's all good, though. I'm a lot happier being alone.
The Shadow
Member
Naw. My best friend outside of my family is a woman. As a matter of fact, I haven't had a good close male friend in a very long time.
I talk to her less now that I'm older, but that has more to do with the lack of free/me time overall than anything else.
I talk to her less now that I'm older, but that has more to do with the lack of free/me time overall than anything else.
47 year old married guy. I'm still friends with all my women friends, but, like with all my friend relationships, we all have families and lives that occupy most of our time, so none of us see each other as much as we used to. Lot's of staying in touch via FB and once or twice a year get togethers.
Steeped in a Sea of Games
Member
Friends? What are those?
Oh right. Those people who I all pretty much lost touch with 10 years ago and never see anymore.
Oh right. Those people who I all pretty much lost touch with 10 years ago and never see anymore.
Marmaladefire
Member
My male friends tend to be insecure so they get with obsessive jealous girls who hate not only female friends but female family, so those are mostly gone, and my female friends get wrapped up in relationships and don't remember I exist until they need to vent about something or are having a breakup, so as the forever alone of every group, I don't really have friends at all anymore.
Battle Litany
Banned
It means you have no friends. You have no one outside of family that you can call up on a whim and have a casual conversation with, or grab a coffee, see a movie, etc
I haven't had a friend since graduating high school 5 years ago. I have acquaintances, people who I know and talk to in class or at work, but I have no contact with any of them outside of work/school.
Naked Snake
Member
Wow I find that kind of depressing, and I think of myself as extremely independent/introverted/avoidant person who is not at all a fan of socializing... But yet even I get the urge to share an experience or recommend something I've seen or used with a friend. I almost always prefer to do it over text messaging though, but my friends do manage to drag me into a get together/hangout once in a while... I typically dread those as I really don't like leaving my house (and I don't like hosting either), but I look at it as a tax of sorts I have to pay to maintain a friendship that I care about. I've lost a ton of friends over the years because I didn't want to see them as often as they deemed necessary to maintain a relationship. I don't blame them for it, but I wish everyone was okay with "long distance friendships" and only meeting once in a blue moon.
And sometimes I even have a good/great time spending time with a friend or a group. But usually I just wanna go home as soon as I can and hope they don't drag me out again for a long time
The thread made me think about my female friendships and i realised im not really friends with any women with children. I have close female friends who are married and partnered and single but none with kids.
Dont get me wrong im friendly with women with kids, for example my friends partners and workmates but they aren't people i call or hang out with as the primary contact.
Dont get me wrong im friendly with women with kids, for example my friends partners and workmates but they aren't people i call or hang out with as the primary contact.
Battle Litany
Banned
Wow I find that kind of depressing, and I think of myself as extremely independent/introverted/avoidant person who is not at all a fan of socializing... But yet even I get the urge to share an experience or recommend something I've seen or used with a friend. I almost always prefer to do it over text messaging though, but my friends do manage to drag me into a get together/hangout once in a while... I typically dread those as I really don't like leaving my house (and I don't like hosting either), but I look at it as a tax of sorts I have to pay to maintain a friendship that I care about. I've lost a ton of friends over the years because I didn't want to see them as often as they deemed necessary to maintain a relationship. I don't blame them for it, but I wish everyone was okay with "long distance friendships" and only meeting once in a blue moon.
And sometimes I even have a good/great time spending time with a friend/friends. But usually I just wanna go home as soon as I can and hope they don't drag me out again for a long time
It's extremely depressing, well for me at least. Plenty of people are happy alone, I'm not. I wouldn't even consider myself an introvert. I just have a shitton of deep psychological issues that get in the way of forging meaningful human relationships.
charlie1701
Member
Nah, being part of the FGC where I live means most of my friends are dudes. Just the way the numbers are.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Yeah a little, but only because one of them has severe anxiety and can't leave the house, and the other had a long term relationship with my best friend that didn't work out and now it's super awkward.
Plenty of opposite sex friends at work, though they're more work friends.
Plenty of opposite sex friends at work, though they're more work friends.
Doctor_Thomas
Member
I'm not married, but probably partly because I went to an all boy's school, I've got more female friends now than I did when I was a younger.