cuevas. PhD.
Member
:jnc
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
:jnc
Vermillion
Banned
I tried thinking about math and I lasted but then i kept slipping out and tried to get a better position and I just kind of got nervous and anxious and it was just downhill from there
Kegels.
How does one do Kegels?
Power Glove
Member
You know that muscle you use to stop your pee stream? Or how you can make your boner flex and point upwards? What you want to do is flex that muscle and clench your butt cheeks at the same time like you're boning a woman deeply and hold it for 10 seconds, then release. Do that about 10 times for a full kegel workout.
I'll make sure to keep that in mind the next time I'm at the toilet. rofl.
Just got back from a date I with a girl I met on POF....
God damn...best date I've ever had. Period. The first date I had with me ex was pretty fucking good, but this blew it away. I've been waiting a long time to have something like this.
We had lunch at a really nice hibachi joint. There was instant chemistry and attraction the moment we sat down. Sure, we sent texts and talked (a lot) during the week, but that doesn't measure up to how you intereact face to face.
Tons of kino and mouth to mouth fun
Anyway, to make things even better, my tickets to Nero and PAX East came in the mail too. Fucking baller ass day son.
This gif deserves to be used every time some one is making progress:
Nice to see things going well for you. I want to hear all the juicy details at the meet up. Have fun at PAX; several people that I volunteered with at NY Comic Con are going to be volunteering there.
My oldest brother's been having a ton of success on OKC. He just went to go meet up with a chick. He has like 3 other chicks that hit him up (one gave him his number in the first message); women are coming in waves for him. He only has one picture that I took of him in black and white and barely any information on his profile.
His About me section says something along the lines of "This page is under construction." I'm baffled by this; in fact I'm jealous of him. This one chick that messaged him said that he's being secretive and she's interested in getting to know him. I was so baffled by his success, that I erased my OKC account out of fury and shock.
I'm not mad at him or nothing; in fact, I'm happy for him. I cheered him on, but man it sucks. I'm just hating on him because sooner or later, these chicks are going to want a relationship and he's going to bail out when that happens. Is it wrong that I envy my brother's success? I mean we're still cool and everything; he told me that I just need to take better pics and put less stuff on my profile. I suppose I'll do it when I remake my account.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
I'll echo PXG and say that was probably the best date I've ever had. A few pauses in conversation, nothing major, she was looking at me and smiling most of the time. She was laughing at a lot of the jokes I told, had some fun conversation. Movie was great.
Dropped her off, walked her to the door, the usual. She gave me a hug, giggling and smiling and that's when I was able to make a move.
And she somehow managed to put on flavored chapstick between the time we left the theater and the time we got out of the car at her place. It was a fun discovery.
Just sent her a text saying "Thanks for coming out tonight. I had a great time" to which she responded with: "Me too, let's hang out again soonn".
My oh my what an interesting week this turned into. Everything worked out for me for once, and it feels fantastisch.
Dropped her off, walked her to the door, the usual. She gave me a hug, giggling and smiling and that's when I was able to make a move.
And she somehow managed to put on flavored chapstick between the time we left the theater and the time we got out of the car at her place. It was a fun discovery.
Just sent her a text saying "Thanks for coming out tonight. I had a great time" to which she responded with: "Me too, let's hang out again soonn".
My oh my what an interesting week this turned into. Everything worked out for me for once, and it feels fantastisch.
Holy butt lord 10/10 girl is so 10/10. Feel incredibly alpha after this date and considering my competition. Actually noticed a bunch of other girls giving me the 'please look at me' stares today (but of course 10/10 girl beats them all in attraction anyways).
A sex-date is one thing but this date I felt such an incredible intellectual connection as well as emotional (but less so).
'Best' thing is 10/10 girl is definitely interested in me, and considering how relatively shallow she can be I'm not so much amazed as incredibly inflated to some sort of egotistical super-douche. Beware. I hunger.
So much playful teasing, so laughing at so many of my kinda lame jokes. She spent a lot of time explaining why other guys fail. This is a girl that hates 'weak' guys.
Sabrine Maui (NSFW) with a way more attractive face & hair and 3 times bigger boobs...
TLDR: my first date with a truly stunning woman, and it went very well
I was the whole spectrum! I'm a prism! :3
A sex-date is one thing but this date I felt such an incredible intellectual connection as well as emotional (but less so).
'Best' thing is 10/10 girl is definitely interested in me, and considering how relatively shallow she can be I'm not so much amazed as incredibly inflated to some sort of egotistical super-douche. Beware. I hunger.
So much playful teasing, so laughing at so many of my kinda lame jokes. She spent a lot of time explaining why other guys fail. This is a girl that hates 'weak' guys.
Sabrine Maui (NSFW) with a way more attractive face & hair and 3 times bigger boobs...
TLDR: my first date with a truly stunning woman, and it went very well
I was the whole spectrum! I'm a prism! :3
Etrian Oddity
Member
I'm very happy for you guys experiencing success on this page, keep up the great stories. Wish I could say the same.
Came to the realization I've been friend-zoned by this girl even though I made my romantic intentions crystal-clear from the start, and kept trying to escalate kino. I'm just going to drop contact with her. Ah well.
Came to the realization I've been friend-zoned by this girl even though I made my romantic intentions crystal-clear from the start, and kept trying to escalate kino. I'm just going to drop contact with her. Ah well.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Soooo this is where you come inform you got laid or what?
Atramental
Banned
No, no. This is where we inform one another on how we did not get laid.
D
Deleted member 81567
Unconfirmed Member
My girlfriend lives 1,000 miles away, you guys should be happy that you can potentially find someone in just a few hours.
thestopsign
Member
So I hooked up with a girl last night at a party. I had met her earlier in the night and talked to her quite a bit and when she saw me at the party she came up to me and we started dancing. She took me back to her dorm but we got stopped by some hallmates outside of her door and ended up just talking for like an hour and a half. She then walked back to my door with me gave me a kiss goodnight and I got her number. She texted me like 20 minutes after and said that she hoped to see me around.
All that sounds pretty good from my perspective, but this morning I was walking to breakfast with some of my friends and we passed her and things were a bit awkward. We just had a quick hello and moved on. Basically I'm not really sure how hard I should pursue her because I felt like she was being a bit hard to read even last night. I figure I can stop by her room and say hi at some point, that's probably going to be my next move.
All that sounds pretty good from my perspective, but this morning I was walking to breakfast with some of my friends and we passed her and things were a bit awkward. We just had a quick hello and moved on. Basically I'm not really sure how hard I should pursue her because I felt like she was being a bit hard to read even last night. I figure I can stop by her room and say hi at some point, that's probably going to be my next move.
Ken Masters
Banned
This been posted here yet?
Opinions?
100% agree, comes a time when a man has to be a man, stop being beta and make a move on the girl
That sounds great pxg
I just got back from 24 hour game jam and I've been awake for 31 hours now. My friends wants to go out and so do I but I really need some sleep I'll probably unconsciously ignore any alarms if I go to bed now xD But alas, missing out on a bunch of obnoxious 18 year olds who haven't graduated yet probably won't hurt that much.
I just got back from 24 hour game jam and I've been awake for 31 hours now. My friends wants to go out and so do I but I really need some sleep
I'll probably unconsciously ignore any alarms if I go to bed now xD But alas, missing out on a bunch of obnoxious 18 year olds who haven't graduated yet probably won't hurt that much.I don't agree with this. Most of the time the man should make the move, but if he doesn't and the woman wants to, it's on her. You're both adults, so why not.
She comes off as a princess. Eww.
It's a funny thing about this thread that I keep hearing stories that sound like the stories girls tell me about other guys. Describe this friend-zoning girl so I don't think you saw me hug her as she walked to your car last night.
Some girls aren't so good about telling a guy up front / making it clear she's not interested, especially if she thinks you're vulnerable.
I am. Thanks!
Girls in Québec just never make the first move. Like, ever. They just wait for you to do it and then complain when you don't. Yes, it's childish, but that's how they roll.
Vermillion
Banned
I'm pretty sure that's how it is in most places.
Atramental
Banned
I agree with what you are saying BUT I would also say that it really depends on the cultural context you're in.
I bet you that I could go to my city's park/downtown every day of this year and not get hit on or approached by a girl.
Now, maybe if I moved to some place that was a little bit more socially progressive then this would change but as of right now I live in socially conservative South Carolina.
Just got back from a date I with a girl I met on POF....
God damn...best date I've ever had. Period. The first date I had with me ex was pretty fucking good, but this blew it away. I've been waiting a long time to have something like this.
We had lunch at a really nice hibachi joint. There was instant chemistry and attraction the moment we sat down. Sure, we sent texts and talked (a lot) during the week, but that doesn't measure up to how you intereact face to face.
Tons of kino and mouth to mouth fun
Anyway, to make things even better, my tickets to Nero and PAX East came in the mail too. Fucking baller ass day son.
Nice going, mate! Though I had a look at POF. The site seems like bullshit. It says pretty much everyone is online near me even though it's 6am here. Though that doesn't matter to you now!
I would suggest you not do that. You could have her introduce you to her other female friends are single. Even then having a platonic relationship is not so bad; she could always be a wing-woman. What makes you think she friend-zoned you?
Frommy experience, women who knew you had an interest in them will rarely, if ever, introduce you to their single friends.
It's more like they aren't going to dump people THEY don't find appealing on their friends.
Yet, female friends are good if you can handle not fucking every woman you're around.
Yeah and I've been there many times and now things are absolutely crazy for me (too crazy, insofar that I'm actually avoiding girls that want to spend time with me now...)
What I did on days like that was usually send out a bunch of new messages on dating sites if I had the time.
Female friends? Yes, and she will usually introduce you to her friends if you were friendly and not showing signs of interest to her.
A girl you were interested in (and she knows it) introducing you to her friends? Not happening, even if she finds you attractive and interesting. Unless women a prety different in Québec City that is.
I actually tried that the other day before I acknowledged I was in this rut. I didn't get any replies, or there were just women I simply weren't interested in for whatever reason. I live in Texas, so I end up hitting Ctrl+W when I read "Christian and very serious about it" on 90% of profiles.
Ok GAF I need some answer.
How do you recognize if someone is into you ?
Cause today I had a weird day. Went to the mall alone cause wanted to buy something real quick and left but there where those 2 girls who where kept starring at me until I left.
Really I don't get it :/
How do you recognize if someone is into you ?
Cause today I had a weird day. Went to the mall alone cause wanted to buy something real quick and left but there where those 2 girls who where kept starring at me until I left.
Really I don't get it :/
Atramental
Banned
Should've went up to them and asked them what was up.
"Hey, you two! I couldn't help but notice that you were oogling me from over yonder."
Were they biting their lips while being shifty with their hands in their crotch areas?
What springs to mind is you could have walked up to them and make up a bullshit question to ask them and gone from there (as in 'where's the blah blah?' if they're into you they won't care how dumb the question was). Does it even matter if you're talking about random people you didn't interact with and probably won't ever see again?
Like I said before I was in a hurry. Plus I'm not that kind of a guy who is going to make the first step and talk to somebody that I don't know
Etrian Oddity
Member
We've been seeing each other for two months and she refuses to give any more physical contact than the "Christian side hug."
There comes a point where shyness is a wall you just can't get past. There's no sign that she'll get physically comfortable anytime soon at all. She does go out of her way to pretty herself up for me and to go out, but even when I steer the conversation to something flirtatious or sexual it just never goes anywhere. I'm getting the feeling she just wants a guy she can comfortably be her nerdy self with, but not take it anymore than being buddies (I know because I've walked into this trap of a setup before).
I literally have other platonic, female friends who exhibit more sexual contact with me than this girl. And it's getting real old...if you don't let a guy so much as give you a full frontal hug by the fifth date, there's something wrong with the picture.
I'd say full frontal hug by first date minimum.
I'd gotten further with girls and then have them clam up (pre-sex). I would have suggested / would suggest being direct that you need more. If it's gotten to that point you should face the music. Girls have their reasons, but it's usually basically fear (of one thing or another).
To me that seems more like fear than friend zone necessarily. Just my take.
PflargBlarg
Member
Wtf? I don't think I've ever met a girl who would refuse a hug. I mean, depending on the person, that's something that happens the first time you even meet someone.
That is definitely what I call an oddity (username pun intended). While I didn't do that on my last date (which was last July; it was a cold greeting), no woman has ever turned down a full frontal hug. It's one of the friendliest gestures in the world. Unless she's extremely insecure about her sexuality (possibly the thought of her boobs pressing down on a guy's chest) which sounds like it might be the case.
So if you tried holding her hand or squeezing her arm, she wouldn't respond well to it? It does sound like you're hitting a brick wall with her. I suppose it is better to just give up on her and move on if she's not willing to be sexual with you (e.g. by making out) because it sounds like you're wasting your time on her. I think it might just be that she doesn't want nothing more than a platonic relationship.
So if you really feel like you're hitting a brick wall, then I would say give up and move on. Alternatively, I suppose you could try watching a movie at one another's place and see if she opens up.
Honestly, I've never let a woman know that I'm attracted to her. Then again, I don't have any female friends unless you count female friends that I have on Facebook but not close ones. I've never had any close female friends.
Same.I'd say full frontal hug by first date minimum.
I'd gotten further with girls and then have them clam up (pre-sex). I would have suggested / would suggest being direct that you need more. If it's gotten to that point you should face the music. Girls have their reasons, but it's usually basically fear (of one thing or another).
To me that seems more like fear than friend zone necessarily. Just my take.
There still could potentially be hope.
Thanks. She ended up being busy tonight (which she told me would probably happen). We were just gonna get drinks tonight. Nothing special. However, to make up for it, we're going out to dinner tomorrow and then something else either Thursday or Friday.
I mean, if you live in East Bumblefuck, you're kind of screwed. I live in a pretty densely populated area (plus I'm close to Philly and NYC). I have a lot to work with.
Almond
Member
For her, five dates might not be enough to feel that comfortable, if she really is that shy, but I of course don't know her. If you're not that interested in her, and aren't willing to take things slow with her until she does feel more comfortable you're probably better off just breaking it off with her now.
I know if I was in her situation you would still be a stranger to me after only five dates. Unless there was a lot of communication outside of the dates. I'm not going to hug someone I don't know unless I'm forced too, and even then it would be a side hug.
Find a new girl
Helscream
Banned
Alright Gaf I have a riddle that I have been dwelling on for the past day or so. I will keep it blunt and to the point and all I want if possible is defining factors between the two agenda's I am about to propose.
The riddle is this, what are traits that define the difference between a woman who is flirting with you because she is legitimately interested in dating. Compared to a woman that flirts with you into the attempt to see if she can draw your attraction/attention just for the sake of boosting her own confidence.
An example of the latter is a man who has a "mid-life" crisis. He goes out to see if he still has "it" or "mojo" what say you. Such a thing is done to see if the man posses the ability to still attract women, but the man does it for the sake of boosting his own morale or tooting his horn so to speak.
I may not be on expert on such subject, but I have a infallible memory, so if they are any additions question that must be ask to help me with my riddle then I can recall just about every minor detail.
Thanks.
The riddle is this, what are traits that define the difference between a woman who is flirting with you because she is legitimately interested in dating. Compared to a woman that flirts with you into the attempt to see if she can draw your attraction/attention just for the sake of boosting her own confidence.
An example of the latter is a man who has a "mid-life" crisis. He goes out to see if he still has "it" or "mojo" what say you. Such a thing is done to see if the man posses the ability to still attract women, but the man does it for the sake of boosting his own morale or tooting his horn so to speak.
I may not be on expert on such subject, but I have a infallible memory, so if they are any additions question that must be ask to help me with my riddle then I can recall just about every minor detail.
Thanks.
Para bailar La Bomba
Banned
Dude, you only "toot your horn" when you score a touchdown.
Personally I think the traits can blend so together in some cases that the person themselves doesn't know they're doing it. They enjoy the ego boost and they think that's what it's all about, but when they get 'bored' and the ego boost doesn't work like it used the the relationship fails.
It might do to observe the person and see if they're caring / compassionate elsewhere. Still doesn't necessarily mean anything, they might be bothered by guilt, but at least they're not a complete sociopath in that case.
I think the vast majority of people look for a self-boosting component of relationships anyways. People like to be praised. So even in the best case it's going to play a part.
SpectreFire
Member
So I am now officially sure that most of the women on OKC or POF have massive fucking issues and probably deserve to be single.
- Status