Both are equally attractive. My ex doesn't want to know. I'm not sure about telling the new girl.
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Girl Age: GAF I have to make a difficult decision and I'd like your thoughts
- Thread starter Sàmban
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Both are equally attractive. My ex doesn't want to know. I'm not sure about telling the new girl.
That's simply not true. She broke up with me for a good reason and I saw it coming. I just didn't really believe we'd break up. Trust me, it was almost a mutual break up and I completely understood when we broke up.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Sàmban;173762979 said:
...
that's a far cry from her saying "i dont love you anymore" as the reason you broke up (in the OP) to "we had a mutual break up because of problems"
so at what point did it become mutual and not a one-sided "i don't love you" break up?
PeskyToaster
Member
wait a minute. you slept with a girl to get revenge on your ex after she slept with a guy while you were not together? that's like a pre-emptive strike.
Goro Majima
Kitty Genovese Member
I think first of all you really, really need to get over your ex sleeping with someone else while you all were broken up. You were broken up and it was understood so she did absolutely nothing wrong.
Think of it like this, for all you know, sleeping with another guy made her realize how awesome you actually were and now she wants to get back with you.
I only see two viable options: Getting back with your ex or moving on from both. I think you need to cut the other chick loose as soon as possible because she's kinda a casualty in all of this. It's clear you still have significant feelings for your ex and you will never feel good about moving forward with this other chick especially considering your motive for dating her in the first place.
Just think, you could probably never ever tell her why you started dating her in the first place because it's such a messed up situation.
Everything aside, I think the smart move is to get back with your ex and see where that goes because you both clearly still have strong feelings for one another.
Think of it like this, for all you know, sleeping with another guy made her realize how awesome you actually were and now she wants to get back with you.
I only see two viable options: Getting back with your ex or moving on from both. I think you need to cut the other chick loose as soon as possible because she's kinda a casualty in all of this. It's clear you still have significant feelings for your ex and you will never feel good about moving forward with this other chick especially considering your motive for dating her in the first place.
Just think, you could probably never ever tell her why you started dating her in the first place because it's such a messed up situation.
Everything aside, I think the smart move is to get back with your ex and see where that goes because you both clearly still have strong feelings for one another.
John Kowalski
Banned
Ex.
I feel so bad for the new girl... She didn't deserve this, as it won't end well for her either way. Its going to hurt that she was for sexual revenge, or you can go out with her and realize she'll forever remind you of your ex and what could've been in thst route.
Idk about the ex. You get with her and it fails, you're regret ever trying to mend the relationship since you met super awesome girl after her. Plus you already missed a good opportunity to show you don't need to sleep with another girl to get back with her. I mean, come on, revenge doesn't work... I said you two matured... e__e
Idk about the ex. You get with her and it fails, you're regret ever trying to mend the relationship since you met super awesome girl after her. Plus you already missed a good opportunity to show you don't need to sleep with another girl to get back with her. I mean, come on, revenge doesn't work... I said you two matured... e__e
The break up was a result of a significant amount of stress from residency and finishing up my research project. I was essentially always at work and neglected her a lot because I was trying very hard to land a job at a prestigious hospital. I neglected her and many of my friends I guess. On the other hand, I do work with a lot of women and she thought I was up to something with them. I wasn't and I went to extraordinary lengths to show that to her and it wasn't enough.
I contemplated breaking up with her because she thought I was cheating and we always had problems but towards the end, I began to realize how much I had neglected her in favor of work and I understood why she was so worried. It was too late though, and I just wanted a break to finish residency so she broke up with me and I let it go. I could have probably prevented the break up if I acted soon enough but I knowingly didn't.
super-famicom
Member
Threesome
InfiniteBento
Member
This. You need to focus on getting your own shit together, OP.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Sàmban;173765175 said:
okay, but saying "i don't love you anymore" doesn't really seem like something that would result from all of that.
it also sounds like she is projecting thinking that you are cheating on her, when she could have very well been flirting with the guy she had sex with before you guys decided to actually break up.
when did she meet the guy and who is he? just some rando or someone she knows from somewhere?
you're not seeing the big picture, i feel
Just some random guy. She said it was just a one night stand and she was trying to get over things. And the "I don't love you anymore" part didn't come as a surprise. She had been complaining for a while that we weren't intimate and she was right.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Sàmban;173771379 said:
well, whatever. you've already made up your mind from the first post so there's not really much point in trying to make you think outside of the box here.
i'm not saying you absolutely shouldn't get back with her if that's what you really want to do, but i don't think its going to be good.
The Chasing Amy solution ^_^
I think you should let both girls go OP and work on yourself.
And honestly? I don't think you truly love your ex. You might have before the break up, but not anymore. If you truly loved her, you wouldn't have started another relationship with another person out of spite, and we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. Hell, the very thought of being with another girl other than the one you love would be laughable and not even remotely considered.
If you care for someone, then you break up, are you really not going to feel anything if they're intimiate someone else? Not everyone is a robot, or a feminist.
And honestly? I don't think you truly love your ex. You might have before the break up, but not anymore. If you truly loved her, you wouldn't have started another relationship with another person out of spite, and we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. Hell, the very thought of being with another girl other than the one you love would be laughable and not even remotely considered.
If you care for someone, then you break up, are you really not going to feel anything if they're intimiate someone else? Not everyone is a robot, or a feminist.
To be honest, one of the main reasons I initially decided not to date the other girl was out of some sort of "loyalty" to our relationship. When I found out she slept with this guy, I felt a little dumb for not exploring my options post-breakup like she did. After all, we were broken up.
I worry that maybe she tried to see someone else and it didn't work out and I'm the fallback. Since we're not back together, I felt like I should explore someone else too I guess. I don't know.
LookAtMeGo
Member
BUNTING1243
Banned
It sorta sounds like there's too much baggage with your ex to make it work again. I've sorta been in a similar situation and setting back and getting away from all the emotional weight that comes with a relationship like that is really freeing.
Maybe see how it works out with the new girl and go from there?
Maybe see how it works out with the new girl and go from there?
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