Converting to another religion for a relationship always sounds crazy to me.
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Dealing with an ex-prostitute
- Thread starter Majmun
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Converting to another religion for a relationship always sounds crazy to me.
-MD-
Member
People fuck other people, getting paid for it doesn't suddenly make it eww gross!
If the bitch gets tested and is clean what's the issue?
jadedm17
Member
How old are you, if you don't mind; and her? At 27 I've just started to realize there's a line between who you can help and who needs more than you can offer. Sadly some people you can keep offering help to but at a point they need to help themselves. It's a lesson my 24 year old friend still needs to learn as he spends a lot of his time kicking himself and causing more problems and not enough time trying to actually fix them. Of course I may be projecting my own dealings so take what I say with some salt, as they'd say.
Personally? I'd say the numbers of how many and how often, to the quality of guy. Mostly though I'd say the reasons behind it - Did she enjoy it or was it just money? The former suggests I may not be enough for her, the latter suggests she might have other issues. Either way I'd be friends with someone who does that professionally but I wouldn't date one, just as I wouldn't date a smoker or someone with a dozen cats. We all have our lines.
She just fucked for money. Other people have less dignified jobs.
Glass Rebel
Member
Yeah, I don't think you can salvage this relationship. Try to stay friends with her but otherwise leave them be.
Your brother is kind of a dick for doing this too. Is/was there pressure from your family?
I really hope I don't have to deal with this kind of shit if I decide to marry someone who isn't Muslim (which is, statistically speaking, very probable).
Your brother is kind of a dick for doing this too. Is/was there pressure from your family?
I really hope I don't have to deal with this kind of shit if I decide to marry someone who isn't Muslim (which is, statistically speaking, very probable).
I always find it extremely selfish, its meant to be a loophole to date outside your ethnic/religious circles which is okay but it really is predicated upon a person changing there entire belief system and inner reasoning to appease the others requirements. What you belive/how you think is intimately linked to your core identity and thats just not something you can just change over the course of a relationship. Pressuring someone to change so much of themselves so that they're good enough for you to be with is extremely selfish.
And it doesn't even come off as sincere.
Not that there arent people that can genuinely convert because they believe in whatever they are exposed to and not due to one partner wanting the other to do so.
blastprocessor
The Amiga Brotherhood
What if she's been with 100 guys though in that time would you change your mind?
Dude(?), I am talking about having her as a girlfriend. Do you want a girlfriend who is fucking 3 to 7 guys a day? When she comes home she is butt-hurt and can't even have enough energy to fuck you. Yeah, nice man. Really relationship material. Lol.
And_Gignac
Member
She needs to understand prostitution is nothing to be ashamed of. IThen she will know that f a guy is willing to shut her out of his life because of her past it means he didnt love her enough.
if thats all you care for in a relationship you would be better with a sex doll tbh.
if thats all you care for in a relationship you would be better with a sex doll tbh.
blastprocessor
The Amiga Brotherhood
That sure made me laugh. Hell no.
Lets be honest, not everyone gets into due to the same reason and it can bring on a lot of shame.
frankie_baby
Member
Prostitution is legal to at least some extent in most countries I believe
It surely isn't relationship material. And my question stands: Would you like a girlfriend who fucks 7 guys a day?
Nope.
Erin S Kittens
Member
Stigmatizing sex workers is an incredibly immature thing to do.
Ongoing prostitution has a ton of safety hazards involved such as STDs or just dangerous clients.
A more relevant example in the question you're posing is dating an ongoing pornstar. I as an individual would not, I could understand other people doing it and more power to them.
John Kowalski
Banned
Regardless, do you have to be such an ass about it?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It's funny you defend the woman and then feel the need to call her a bitch.
What about active swinger couples?
Sorry, don't be butt-hurt about it bro. It's just an opinion. Imagine your girlfriend coming home and you know.. you had a long day at work and you need some loving. Well forget about that mate. Maybe she tells you to go see a you know what. Ah man.. I simply don't understand it.
Those are doomed to fail anyway.
what the fuck is wrong with you?
frankie_baby
Member
What if said girlfriend is a proper sex addict and totally up for shagging you at the end of a day of shagging for work, problem solved
It seems I made myself unpopular in this thread. I didn't know people couldn't stand a bit of irony. Especially on GAF. I respect these girls like I respect my mother but hey, like I said, I don't understand how you could date such a person. If I offended anyone, I am very sorry.
Eeeeh, if my girlfriend was a sexaddict I would want her to fuck me and not downtown L.A. or whatever. Goddamn I would not let her fuck anyone else bro. I think if two people love eachother it's hard to show physical affection to another. I am oldfashioned maybe. I don't understand it. Please, enlighten me if you think you can make it more clear for me.
How is this even relevant to the topic we're discussing? This is not about having an affair or whatever.
You do it like some women do when they have a man with an exhausting job that provides a high income: You have an affair.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
I think sexual power is like a currency, and female sexuality is a highly desired currency as men are so proprietorial about getting it. Slut shaming by making a connotation between women having sex with different men has been a tactic to dissuade women for reacting on other mens sexual advances. Fear. Women are caught in the cross fire and becomes the punching bag as men can just helplessly fight each other over how to take down their sexual value as it is such an effective tool on men. Spiritual and cultural institutions have been used for thousands of years to control women.
So yes, I think it's immature. It's about as immature and short sighted of the big picture to stigmatize anything, but the really infuriating thing is not that they feel this way. It's that they don't know. I truly believe that many men are afraid of womens sexual power. Particularly in eastern europe / the middle east. They haven't had those reforms that we have had in the west, and the idea of a woman being able to go out and have sex with all these guys, while the men have to struggle to just get laid, is terrifying. Better bury these women with all their options behind a marriage or spiritual damnation.
-MD-
Member
It's not the same at all.
It's very difficult for sex workers to move on after working in the business. They usually have to keep their past a secret or risk getting fired. It often forces them to go back into sex work.
I find it hypocritical that a man's sexual history is rarely brought up when it comes to relationships but if a woman isn't "pure" then that makes her undesireable as a partner.
Ok, "Do you want an ex-prostitute as your girlfriend" should be the question then. I personally don't to be honest. Maybe I am old fashioned but I find the idea off putting and very unattractive. Why did she even become a prostitute? Does she like fucking men, does she like a lot of sex etc.. All these questions would fucking fly through my mind. I couldn't do it. I still respect them though.
Rktk
Member
You went off topic with your first post where you forgot it's an ex-prostitute.
this never ends good... sooner or later you will have problems with your brother or that girl.
leave it be
The bolded and underlined is a little strange to me, but maybe I don't know enough escorts? The few men and women I know who do it make enough to support themselves and aren't fucking 3-7 people a day.
Eh, as long as they were getting tested and were safe, it's not a big deal to me at all. Money is money, and sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
As for the OP, don't try to fix their relationship. It's not your problem and if your brother is done, he's done. Sad, but not much you can do. As for you...be there, but don't dedicate any more energy than you need to. Like you said, you have a life of your own to take care of.
-COOLIO-
The Everyman
if she's completely clean i don't see what difference it makes.
Sounds to me like you just have some basic insecurity issues than.
Why is that?
Is it so strange that I don't want a girlfriend who has sex with 1 to 2 guys a day or a girl that has had that experience? I don't think I need to explain myself unless you guys really insist.
I don't. I had a threesome in the fucking highschool cafeteria. I am not insecure mate. People saw that shit (probably).
We really insist.
I wouldn't blame people that can't accept their potential couple for entire lives because reason like this. If there's people that can think progressive, kudos to them.. but I don't agree we should badmouthing people that can't do the same, its gonna be unhealthy for everyone involved anyway.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
I realize we have a very liberal bend on this board, and I'm all for not judging someone for their previous relationships, but ffs she was a prostitute.
Have some god damn standards people. If the brother is the kind of dude who's heavy into his religious/spiritual stuff, how could he ever reconcile it? It's obviously not going to work, and it'd be silly to try and force it.
Let her go, OP, part of being a "bro" is letting go of your bro's exes as well. I mean you don't have to stop talking to her 100%, but don't invite her over Christmas dinner or anything.
Have some god damn standards people. If the brother is the kind of dude who's heavy into his religious/spiritual stuff, how could he ever reconcile it? It's obviously not going to work, and it'd be silly to try and force it.
Let her go, OP, part of being a "bro" is letting go of your bro's exes as well. I mean you don't have to stop talking to her 100%, but don't invite her over Christmas dinner or anything.
This is a tough thing emotionally. Philosophically, I agree with you. I have no issue with people having sex with as many people as they want. Especially when you aren't in that exclusive relationship anymore.
But there is something, about someone having sex with a ton of people in a single day just to get money. I guess I'm a hypocrite. I would feel the same way about a male prostitute too.
Strange enough, I'm not even that prude when it comes to sex workers, or a partner having slept with many people prior to not being in a relationship with me. I don't really know why the stigma of selling yourself for sex exists. Why it feels wrong to me, and is hard to deal with emotionally. Maybe it's just a social construct. You know, sometimes how you feel or think about something, is heavily ingrained based on concepts that have been pushed your entire life (prostitution = bad and immoral). I'm not even religious, or view sex at this sacred act lol
I do agree that we need to stop this bullshit about women being "pure". It's non-sense. Women have every right to have sex as much as men do. People (not gender) like having sex. The whole "pure" thing is really terrible. And I do think Men need to get over it, and stop letting it bother their ego. I do understand in some cases, it's a concern with regards to STDs and all that (sexual history can matter with that regard). But I do think for the most part, it has to do with the whole pure/ego thing more then the safety aspect (especially when the partner is clean).
And that is bad. But yeah, I dunno. Sometimes I'm ashamed when I don't have a grasp on why I feel certain ways about something.
Discotheque
Banned
one of neogaf's shining beacons of rational thought in these threads over here tbh.
Ok. Since you guys are all I've got I will tell you. Simply put: I like a girl who goes for one guy. You know, you meet eachother, you stay together, you marry, fuck a lot together, get amazing kids, divorce, get back together and die, that's what I want. I really never had the need myself to have lots of sex with different women when I was younger (I am 28). I just had one girl and even if it wasn't serious, I would never date 2 girls at the same time or fuck 2 girls within a short amount of time. It's just not me. It's hard to explain. I treat girls with respect and always make sure I don't use them just for one single purpose. I want love. Is this understandable for you?
Lots of people do it.
I wouldn't call OP's brother closed minded if it really does mess with his religious beliefs because hey, that's his beliefs, but I don't think dating someone who HAS been a prostitute is lowering a standard. That doesn't make them any less of an interesting person, or less attractive, or just less of a person, in my experience.
frankie_baby
Member
"standards" is just an excuse to be uptight as long as people aren't hurting others then live and let live
captmorgan
Banned
Honestly its better that she became a prostitute instead of becoming religious.
I can respect someone that earns her living on her back instead of believing in fairy tales on their knees.
I can respect someone that earns her living on her back instead of believing in fairy tales on their knees.
Well, I can understand the debate over sex workers being viewed as immoral or disgusting. And I actually agree that having done sex work, shouldn't ruing someone's life. That said, I also agree with you that on a personal level, we all make our own choices when it comes to our own lifestyle, and what we find attractive.
And if he's religious, and or can't deal with someone having done this (on a moral level, or whatever), then that's his own personal choice.
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