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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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jimmypython

Member
I was stood up tonight. :(

I don't get it. She seemed really interested and said she was free Saturday night. I told her lets meet at this cool bar and her last message to me was "Hahaha, you're very smooth! ;) :p Sounds good, I look forward to meeting you. :) "

I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?

Wow. my worst being ghosted experience was before the day of the date. but it's nothing compared to your story. This is as bad as it can go...I'm so sorry to hear this. Seems the number of victims has been increasing as well...

We have a long way to go in terms of online decency.
 
Anyone have this problem, maybe it's common with online dating? On average I managed to get 2-3 dates a month or so which I'm very happy with. But most of the women I'm meeting lose interest after one date. Not all but with most of them it feels like I never had a chance with even though they liked my pictures and talking to me online. Makes me think that either my pictures are too good or my personality is shit haha.

You can't have it both ways, online dating gets you more dates but gets the women more dates too and so you are disposable if they are not feeling chemistry. There's no social link, nobody except you knows about you getting ghosted. Nobody to call out the woman for ghosting, because she does not need to tell anyone there was even a date and never needs to see you again.

Just 2 roulette wheels that synced for one night.
 

Daria

Member
i need to stay away from this thread.
and dating in general. some of you will remember heat i've caught about some of my decisions and you were right. i have a lot to do before i should think about doing _anything_.
 
Date went really well! We played some games and got into conversations about some pretty personal stuff, and came out on the other side even closer. Unfortunately neither of our places were really going to work out for us to end up at tonight, but soon :D Had a great time with her.

I hear pub with board games and now you have my attention. What pub? What board games?

I love board games.

This place in Portland called Game Knight. There are actually several places here that are kind of similar in that they stock a ton of board games and serve food and/or drinks.
 

jimmypython

Member
i need to stay away from this thread.
and dating in general. some of you will remember heat i've caught about some of my decisions and you were right. i have a lot to do before i should think about doing _anything_.

yes working on ourselves is always beneficial, and yes, stay away from this thread.

don't be discouraged :)
 

AcridMeat

Banned
Date went really well! We played some games and got into conversations about some pretty personal stuff, and came out on the other side even closer. Unfortunately neither of our places were really going to work out for us to end up at tonight, but soon :D Had a great time with her.



This place in Portland called Game Knight. There are actually several places here that are kind of similar in that they stock a ton of board games and serve food and/or drinks.
Nice! I've passed that place when visiting, it looked awesome. I always end up at Ground Kontrol when I'm in town.
 

Astral

Member
Uh, what?

I think I need a visual example, no clue what you're talking about.

aHR0cDovL2ltZy5jY3JkLmNsZWFyY2hhbm5lbC5jb20vbWVkaWEvbWxpYi8xNTIzNy8yMDE2LzAzL2RlZmF1bHQva3lsaWVfamVubmVyXzBfMTQ1OTI0OTc4MS5qcGc=


Apparently it's called the T-Rex hand.
 

Stopdoor

Member
Agreed, this talking point came up recently when another poster was disliking common traits in some women's pictures.

We're allowed to dislike traits, swiping is a superficial and tiring process. It's half a question of "why", if we understand why traits are common maybe we can empathize with them more. You have to phrase it as something if you want to ask about it.

I've actually never seen that one though.
 
I was stood up tonight. :(

I don't get it. She seemed really interested and said she was free Saturday night. I told her lets meet at this cool bar and her last message to me was "Hahaha, you're very smooth! ;) :p Sounds good, I look forward to meeting you. :) "

I show up. She's not there. I wait 10 mins and shoot her a message to say I'm here. Nothing. 30 mins later I send another asking if she's on her way. Nothing. I finally leave after waiting over an hour. What the fuck?

Rule of thumb, if someone stops responding any time before the date, they aren't showing up. And don't wait an hour next time either. 20mins should be your max.

Sucks you got stood up, happened to all of us at some point, but don't let it get you down and don't let it discourage you from dating.
 

Windtrick

Member
Thank you guys. Lurking for ages, and reading everyone's advice and experience has made me realize some years back and concreted in my mind the immense value of openness. Not playing games so to speak. You all are amazing and special individuals and I wish for nothing but the best of luck in your endeavours.
 
Thank you guys. Lurking for ages, and reading everyone's advice and experience has made me realize some years back and concreted in my mind the immense value of openness. Not playing games so to speak. You all are amazing and special individuals and I wish for nothing but the best of luck in your endeavours.

54RLsjpg.gif
 

gaiages

Banned
Wow. my worst being ghosted experience was before the day of the date. but it's nothing compared to your story. This is as bad as it can go...I'm so sorry to hear this. Seems the number of victims has been increasing as well...

We have a long way to go in terms of online decency.

lol being a ghosting victim is a little much. We all learn from the experiences and move on, don't be a victim :p

aHR0cDovL2ltZy5jY3JkLmNsZWFyY2hhbm5lbC5jb20vbWVkaWEvbWxpYi8xNTIzNy8yMDE2LzAzL2RlZmF1bHQva3lsaWVfamVubmVyXzBfMTQ1OTI0OTc4MS5qcGc=


Apparently it's called the T-Rex hand.

Don't... really see a problem with that... well, to each their own, I guess.

That's nothing of how I expected a raptor or a T-Rex hand imitation to look like though
 

Astral

Member
Someone planted a very bad meme in your head for a very common feminine "quirk." Unlearn it immediately.

Huh? I just think it looks weird and unnatural. I'm not sure what it adds to a selfie. It's not gonna stop me from talking to someone, I think it's the equivalent of a guy taking a bathroom selfie.
 

Daria

Member
yes working on ourselves is always beneficial, and yes, stay away from this thread.

don't be discouraged :)

the worst part is when you find someone who's cares about you but you're not there fully inside yourself to accept someone thinks a certain way about you.

discouraged is a strong word since i'm close to rock bottom after last night. but i do appreciate the kind words, thank you
 
Alright. I've already received some good advice from Salamando, but I'd love getting more. Could you please provide feedback on my Tinder pictures & bio? (note: English is not my native language, so I've temporarily translated the text into English)
Get rid of stupid biscuit eyes and change the mountain picture to one without the "Thumbs up". The other pictures are good.
The thumbs up is fine, imo. Good smile in the first picture, don't change that. It's good you're showing your adventurous side in your pictures. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with your bio or pics.

I want to get back into bouldering.
 

Wikzo

Member
The thumbs up is fine, imo. Good smile in the first picture, don't change that. It's good you're showing your adventurous side in your pictures. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with your bio or pics.

I want to get back into bouldering.

Thank you. I actually have the mountain picture with and without thumbs up. I don't have an attachment towards either, but for now I've chosen the picture without.

I am not super happy about the "biscuit eyes" myself, but I was told that it shows a bit more humour and genuine emotion, so I'll keep it for now.

One thing I learned from Salamando was to make my bio less of a fact list, which I think I have accomplished now.

I've also used Google Photos to enhance the pictures a bit, by adjusting contrast and light. It makes a big difference in my opinion.
 
Humor is a very difficult this to display, let people discover that by talking with you is the better method. You probably didn't live through the pre-internet days of many men wearing Mickey Mouse ties to display they were fun men.

To me they were always the guys Mickey Mouse tie = wanker or "nice guy". Obviously the women thought similar as they were mostly single guys.
 

Salamando

Member
But first one is better for apps. It shows his face better, and that's important.

The first pic is the one he originally led with. It wasn't working. His current picset leads with a good facepic that also includes his mates off to the side (cropped properly so they're barely in frame).

Still not a fan of that second pic. That shirt is too big on him.
 
Pride concluded.

I got "stood up" on Friday, because my date was ill - though she offered to reschedule for Saturday, and we're actually on for this Friday after I'm back from my work trip. I appreciate that initiative, as well as her Bitmoji game.

Friday night was a dance club with the Brazilian gays, including one who can't hold his liquor. He dropped $250 in drinks, then sat on the ground and talked to random girls in French, German, and Portuguese. I also met a random (straight) Asian guy who seemed cool!

Yesterday was an immense and total shitshow. The parade was fantastic, I got so many beads, and the other girl I'm dating came down - brunch, too many vodka sodas, a fancy wine bar where the Brazilian who can't hold his liquor double-fisted Long Islands while claiming "I'm a trash person," then kept asking our waiter for a "a plate of dicks."

The waiter's response was gold: "It's Pride weekend. If you can't find one tonight, I can't help you.

(We never got the plate of dicks.)

Then we went to another dance club, where I got manhandled, per usual. I also sobbingly told my friend, "I always wanted brothers growing up. I'm so glad I have you and your husband."

My date bought me 3am pizza and spent the night. We really don't know much about each other, but we're slowly discovering that. I also learned she didn't remember half of the first night she met me!

So, I don't know. The fact that we didn't meet online and that we're doing things with each other's friends already kinda-sorta puts us in the quasi-dating category, I guess.
 
I have a problem guys.

My girlfriend is coming over today. She's going to be here in less than 9 minutes.

I just got off work. I come inside the house and the blinds are drawn and my asshole former bff is hung over. We are talking bucket of vomit next to the bed.

Keep in mind she hasn't been inside our apartment before. A few near tries but nothing turned out.

I gave him warning she's coming over. He okayed.

Should I change plans with her or stay the course? We'd be in my room. But this situation is tenser than ever.
 
Anyone have this problem, maybe it's common with online dating? On average I managed to get 2-3 dates a month or so which I'm very happy with. But most of the women I'm meeting lose interest after one date. Not all but with most of them it feels like I never had a chance with even though they liked my pictures and talking to me online. Makes me think that either my pictures are too good or my personality is shit haha.


93 first dates i have had in the past 18 months i have been stood up once. it sucks.
i have had 42 2nd dates and 24 3rd dates. Its just the grind of the game.

keep at it.
 
I have a problem guys.

My girlfriend is coming over today. She's going to be here in less than 9 minutes.

I just got off work. I come inside the house and the blinds are drawn and my asshole former bff is hung over. We are talking bucket of vomit next to the bed.

Keep in mind she hasn't been inside our apartment before. A few near tries but nothing turned out.

I gave him warning she's coming over. He okayed.

Should I change plans with her or stay the course? We'd be in my room. But this situation is tenser than ever.

He's hung over, fuck him. Well don't fuck him, just hang in your room with your GF. If she's uncomfortable with the guy being there go get a room or something.

Then make sure that asshole doesn't keep "randomly" popping in to fuck you over.
 

Jhoan

Member
I have a problem guys.

My girlfriend is coming over today. She's going to be here in less than 9 minutes.

I just got off work. I come inside the house and the blinds are drawn and my asshole former bff is hung over. We are talking bucket of vomit next to the bed.

Keep in mind she hasn't been inside our apartment before. A few near tries but nothing turned out.

I gave him warning she's coming over. He okayed.

Should I change plans with her or stay the course? We'd be in my room. But this situation is tenser than ever.
I think you should stay the course. You pay for rent, you cohabitate the place, you can bring guests and do as you will. Sooner or later, she's going to come to your place any way. Carry on.
 

FyreWulff

Member
I have a problem guys.

My girlfriend is coming over today. She's going to be here in less than 9 minutes.

I just got off work. I come inside the house and the blinds are drawn and my asshole former bff is hung over. We are talking bucket of vomit next to the bed.

Keep in mind she hasn't been inside our apartment before. A few near tries but nothing turned out.

I gave him warning she's coming over. He okayed.

Should I change plans with her or stay the course? We'd be in my room. But this situation is tenser than ever.

ignore him and also GET A NEW ROOMMATE OR PLACE THIS GUY IS A MENTAL BURDEN ON YOU
 

gaiages

Banned
ignore him and also GET A NEW ROOMMATE OR PLACE THIS GUY IS A MENTAL BURDEN ON YOU

I wouldn't bother trying to make that point anymore, all of GAF has been trying for years. Maybe this will finally be the straw that breaks the camel's back, I guess.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1201254&highlight=
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1099161&highlight=
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=893273&highlight=
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=893909&highlight=

*shrug*
 

Neoweee

Member
Wow, where in the world do you live lol

Eh, I've hit about... 25-30 in the last 11 months, with several weeks-month+ breaks. Any large city in the US, using several apps, can hit that #. The ~40% conversion rate to 2nd dates is what is nuts out of those numbers.
 
I wouldn't bother trying to make that point anymore, all of GAF has been trying for years. Maybe this will finally be the straw that breaks the camel's back, I guess.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1201254&highlight=
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1099161&highlight=
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=893273&highlight=
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=893909&highlight=

*shrug*
OMG Megalosaro I thought this roommate issue was recent, not years long. Christ.
 

Aylinato

Member
Eh, I've hit about... 25-30 in the last 11 months, with several weeks-month+ breaks. Any large city in the US, using several apps, can hit that #. The ~40% conversion rate to 2nd dates is what is nuts out of those numbers.


These numbers are so daunting. Like wow.
 
So not particularly dating related or my own problem overall but just wanted to share since it is a relationship issue.

My friend's girlfriend basically, not really beat him up but definitely hit and hurt him. Him being a gentlemen and all basically just let her do it to get it out of her system. But shes always been an immensely jealous girl of any woman who knows or talks to him. Coupled with his out going personality of talking to, getting to know, and trying to hang out with everyone compared to her relatively introverted one of not really talking to anyone first... it obviously leads to issues. Almost literally any girl that she does not know her first assumption seems to be that hes trying to pick these ladies up, or will run off with them for a night. Which by the way has never happened or ever been close to happening drinking or not he keeps his shit together.

I get a message at 6 am from him sounding like some serious shit went down. Come Sunday we meet up and hes got this big bandage on his neck and a few cuts on his face.... apparently she got mad and tried to scratch and threw stuff ect...

Turns out he was getting messages from a girl who is just a friend and they went to dinner. He did not tell her, and that was the whole assumption that hes cheating. She does not like when he does not tell her where hes at or who hes with. Which is usually me or one or two of our other friends. Anyway the girl who invited him to dinner is a close friend of ours and since they had not talked in a while they met up alone to catch up, at like 5pm, not some shady part of the night. Other reason they met up was so the girl could tell him shes getting married and asked him to be in the wedding and help with planning.... yeah.

sorry for rant but this shit is just too stressful. I think they should break up right away. I love the girl to bits as friend but shes got some serious trust issues. She wants to stay together, and I don't want to just tell my friend he needs to dump her ass on the street, but definitely think he needs to.

@.@ definitely a fun weekend
 
Humor is a very difficult this to display, let people discover that by talking with you is the better method. You probably didn't live through the pre-internet days of many men wearing Mickey Mouse ties to display they were fun men.

To me they were always the guys Mickey Mouse tie = wanker or "nice guy". Obviously the women thought similar as they were mostly single guys.

I used to rock a silk shirt and a Looney Tunes tie in the mid 90s in high school. Basically a big sign to say "don't even think about fucking this guy"

I have a problem guys.

My girlfriend is coming over today. She's going to be here in less than 9 minutes.

I just got off work. I come inside the house and the blinds are drawn and my asshole former bff is hung over. We are talking bucket of vomit next to the bed.

Keep in mind she hasn't been inside our apartment before. A few near tries but nothing turned out.

I gave him warning she's coming over. He okayed.

Should I change plans with her or stay the course? We'd be in my room. But this situation is tenser than ever.

I honestly don't see what the problem is. Take charge of your life, buddy.
 
Well the car is locked in and it looks like I might be moving out in August so that should make me a bit more comfortable about dating lol. Dreaded the idea of bringing anyone home or whatever since my family were acting like total weirdos to all of my previous girlfriends.

Also just gotten back into exercising regularly, forgot how much I loved it after a 2 month break.
 
Dude, get the police involved! This is a case of domestic violence. She needs a restraining order. What the hell.

Dunno if it needs to go that far but I would definitely consider it. He needs to dump her, its definitely for the best. She needs to get herself together and more secure and I think he needs someone who is just all over better for him.

Sucks cause in general shes a cool enough girl with similar interests so its easy for them to be around each other the majority of the time. But I will say hes a good looking guy and has gotten other offers and turned them down for her. Even still gets comments about how they wish he did not have a girlfriend ect. Heck I've even heard girls talk about how they are jealous of her because shes cute, has him and a sexy body ect. Shes so weirdly worried about him going off with someone else that it just straight up seems like the thing to do at this point. Not to mention the lady she should really be worried about is her "friend" who is quite obvious about her attempts at him, quite literally comes up to me says hi and instantly asks where he is, when i point him out or say hes not around she instantly goes to him and never says a word to me again haha. (I seriously have known this lady for a year and a half and don't know her name, thats how quick these interactions are before she floats away to him knowing hes dating her friend)

-shrug- some people just are not ready for relationships I guess. Either way, staying out of it until he asks my opinion and I'll tell him exactly that they should call it quits.
 
-shrug- some people just are not ready for relationships I guess. Either way, staying out of it until he asks my opinion and I'll tell him exactly that they should call it quits.

Don't be that guy who said nothing until the relationship ended and then say how bad you thought the partner was. Often people in bad relationships need a steady stream of real talk to make the decision to leave. Real talk often need to be casually delivered and consistent, it won't be a one and done thing.

Being a good friend in those situations is not easy.
 
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