And_Gignac
Member
What the fuck.
I am not black but this type of invalidation is fucking infuriating. What op is describing is not a mental health problem. Is racism. The fact that you are even trying to give racism that angle is kind of disgusting.
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Being black makes me not want to go outside sometimes
- Thread starter M52B28
- Start date
What the fuck.
I am not black but this type of invalidation is fucking infuriating. What op is describing is not a mental health problem. Is racism. The fact that you are even trying to give racism that angle is kind of disgusting.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Who the fuck prefers standing to sitting.
You've just convinced me the frog ain't so bad..thanks. 😁
GHG
Member
I would just like to point out that we have topics about a neighbor walking out and about naked and someone recording conversations for God knows what and no one questions their validity of their respective OPs. And before you ask, I believe those guys are telling the truth.
One black man made a topic about being upset of discrimination towards him and a higher ratio of GAFers don't believe him, think he's exaggerating, or is blaming him like this quote.
It REALLY makes you think.
The truth always finds a way.
Sucks, OP. Gotta own it, though. Can't let people intimidate you. Sometimes I feel a little weird when I'm the only black guy in the room, but I make my presence known (saying something, asking a question, etc.) just to let everyone know, "Yes, I'm here bitches."
But I'm a little more subtle in my approach. My brother is super direct; subtly is not in his vocabulary. I remember when we were in a clothing store a few years ago and my brother noticed that an employee was following us. Right before we left, he went right up to the guy and was like, "Are you following us because we're black?" I thought it was kinda funny because my brother caught him completely off guard and he was stammering. My brother was just like, "Uh huh. OK." And we left.
So, OP....be proud of who you are. People are going to stare and people are going to talk. But don't let them intimidate you. You're here, and they either can deal with it or fuck off.
But I'm a little more subtle in my approach. My brother is super direct; subtly is not in his vocabulary. I remember when we were in a clothing store a few years ago and my brother noticed that an employee was following us. Right before we left, he went right up to the guy and was like, "Are you following us because we're black?" I thought it was kinda funny because my brother caught him completely off guard and he was stammering. My brother was just like, "Uh huh. OK." And we left.
So, OP....be proud of who you are. People are going to stare and people are going to talk. But don't let them intimidate you. You're here, and they either can deal with it or fuck off.
It is pretty insane this happened to you in the SF. It is one of the cities where Gays feel the most safe.
There is a huge Asian population in SF and from what I gathered, they do tend to be a bit cautious towards black people.
A lot of robbery and what not apparently. Sorry about this.
There is a huge Asian population in SF and from what I gathered, they do tend to be a bit cautious towards black people.
A lot of robbery and what not apparently. Sorry about this.
excelsiorlef
Member
To the bolded could you elaborate on why you're talking about robbery all of a sudden?
Because you're bending over backwards to wave away and ignore his personal experience. Is it possible that he is overly sensitive and misinterpreting the behavior of others? Sure, I guess, just like it is possible that anyone on GAF is wrong about or misrepresenting their personal experience. But there's no basis for believing that versus taking his damn word for it, unless you somehow think that a black man facing covert discrimination on public transit is somehow intrinsically improbable. And if you think that, you are completely clueless.
If someone posted "I ate chicken for dinner" and you replied "I bet it was pork because sometimes pork looks like chicken and people mix them up a lot" people would think you were a goddamn nutter and wonder why on earth you were bothering to post in the thread. And no one would give a single fuck that you had personal experience with people mixing up chicken and pork.
Good post, and a comparison I wouldnt have made otherwise. It is a stark and telling contrast.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
lol..Niña, please..
OG Shaka Zulu
Member
LOL this thread! I really hope some of y'all are right wingers that are lowkey trolling for a good laugh. If not it's further proof that Democrats and Liberals are not the anecdote to curing racism in this country.
Stop being shocked that your blue as hell cities are racist.
To quote a Top 10 American of all-time: "As long as you are south of the Canadian border, you are still in The South" - Malcolm X.
Stop being shocked that your blue as hell cities are racist.
To quote a Top 10 American of all-time: "As long as you are south of the Canadian border, you are still in The South" - Malcolm X.
Some of these posts...
Like there's just no self-awareness on their part.
Or is there...
Like there's just no self-awareness on their part.
Or is there...
LookAtMeGo
Member
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Just posting up tho..
TheCthultist
Member
Sorry to hear this stuff has been happening to you, OP. Even more sorry it seems to have been happening with quite a bit of consistency.
The best guess I can make is that he's saying robbery is why the Asian population present there is so cautious of black people... but thats my educated guess making some big assumptions about what the post was meant to convey. That whole post could probably have used a little more thought.
...Anyway, I see this thread's still going down the same general track it has been all day. Kind of curious how many more people are going to out themselves as apologists or idiots by the end of it...
The best guess I can make is that he's saying robbery is why the Asian population present there is so cautious of black people... but thats my educated guess making some big assumptions about what the post was meant to convey. That whole post could probably have used a little more thought.
...Anyway, I see this thread's still going down the same general track it has been all day. Kind of curious how many more people are going to out themselves as apologists or idiots by the end of it...
Idk why people are surprised this happens in SF, same shit happens up here in Seattle.
It sucks but I try my best to embrace it and not let it get to me. Each time something like that happens or overt racism comes to my face it adds to the hopelessness of it all, and I'd rather not focus on it.
My favorite part about it is the exponential increase in fear when you're with another black guy. Two of us can clear out a street at night, three and you'll be questioned before long depending on what area you're walking through.
It sucks but I try my best to embrace it and not let it get to me. Each time something like that happens or overt racism comes to my face it adds to the hopelessness of it all, and I'd rather not focus on it.
My favorite part about it is the exponential increase in fear when you're with another black guy. Two of us can clear out a street at night, three and you'll be questioned before long depending on what area you're walking through.
FallingEdge
Member
lmao wtf is this
I 100% understand how you feel.
Being black in America is a stressful experience that few people can empathize with fully. Ever since the election last November, I've felt an anxiety like I've never felt before. And the emboldening of hateful, bigoted, and racist mindsets have me incredibly stressed and anxious.
Now don't get me wrong, I've always felt like I didn't belong in this country. I've never once felt welcome or comfortable being black here. Living in Los Angeles hasn't spared me from being called "nigger" on more than one occasion. I've experienced my fair share of passive and overt racism, from strangers to co-workers to police officers.
Born and raised in America, but don't feel like this is my home. It feels bad. Being married to a white woman has also introduced no shortage of passive aggressive racism into me and my wife's lives.
The point is, you aren't alone in feeling this way. Living in America has never been comfortable for black folks. It's certainly not going to change anytime soon. I wish I could be helpful to you, but I'm in the same boat. Don't let the melancholy consume you. And don't be afraid of leaving your house. I get that way sometimes too, but you have to fight against that fear.
Being black in America is a stressful experience that few people can empathize with fully. Ever since the election last November, I've felt an anxiety like I've never felt before. And the emboldening of hateful, bigoted, and racist mindsets have me incredibly stressed and anxious.
Now don't get me wrong, I've always felt like I didn't belong in this country. I've never once felt welcome or comfortable being black here. Living in Los Angeles hasn't spared me from being called "nigger" on more than one occasion. I've experienced my fair share of passive and overt racism, from strangers to co-workers to police officers.
Born and raised in America, but don't feel like this is my home. It feels bad. Being married to a white woman has also introduced no shortage of passive aggressive racism into me and my wife's lives.
The point is, you aren't alone in feeling this way. Living in America has never been comfortable for black folks. It's certainly not going to change anytime soon. I wish I could be helpful to you, but I'm in the same boat. Don't let the melancholy consume you. And don't be afraid of leaving your house. I get that way sometimes too, but you have to fight against that fear.
I'm just numb to it at this point, but admittedly I haven't noticed it as much recently.
My girlfriend lives in the North part of Ocala, and it's straight up fucking country. Trailer parks, and mobile homes everywhere.
If we go to eat anywhere we are treated with a bunch of stares or we'll get a certain type of look. I'm black and she's Hispanic.
My girlfriend lives in the North part of Ocala, and it's straight up fucking country. Trailer parks, and mobile homes everywhere.
If we go to eat anywhere we are treated with a bunch of stares or we'll get a certain type of look. I'm black and she's Hispanic.
NintendoGal
Member
I have been abused, but not racially, not that I think anyway. Maybe reverse in the sense that most don't think I'm half Asian, but that doesn't really affect my life so I don't care. That being said, I think about every POC walking down the street and wonder what kind of critiques they face daily simply for being, this topic made me think heavily about that yet again.
Call me crazy, but I can't help but try to heavily empathize with people as much as I can. It riles me up when others are unsympathetic I suppose.
Bigboss242
Banned
Yea I wake up every morning and think yea I'm not human time to go out there and try to survive.
100% this. It's very well put. If your jobs insurance let's you have a therapist I would suggest it. I go-to therapy and not because I think I have mental health issues but it's someone non biased to talk to. It's like posting on GAF but you don't have to worry about the super judgemental people in threads like these.
Bananajama
Banned
Living in the UK while we still have issues.
I don't feel it anywhere near this bad.
I work for a massive multi-cultural company though so maybe I'm just seeing the rosy side?
Saying that when I did a driving holiday in US I was met with icy stares and silence when I went to top up for fuel.
Only when they heard my English accent the mood seemed to lighten.
I don't feel it anywhere near this bad.
I work for a massive multi-cultural company though so maybe I'm just seeing the rosy side?
Saying that when I did a driving holiday in US I was met with icy stares and silence when I went to top up for fuel.
Only when they heard my English accent the mood seemed to lighten.
thetrin
Hail, peons, for I have come as ambassador from the great and bountiful Blueberry Butt Explosion
Yep, I'm brown, Hindu, and for a long time, like many other brown people, I never grew a beard (especially after 9/11). I would stay clean shaven, so I looked like a good little brown boy.
A couple years ago i got fucking fed up of it. I'd always wanted to grow a beard, and there was no reason why I shouldn't be allowed to. I got a couple extra stares, but I was tired of living my life in fear because other people are racist idiots.
I now have a big beard, and sometimes get dumb questions like "Why do you have a beard?"
Wtf do you mean, why do I have a beard? Why do you have sideburns? Why do you have a center part?
FreeMufasa
Junior Member
Used to get to me real bad until a few years ago I said, fuck peoples feelings and just did me. Then again I'm from the U.K. And living in Japan. Can understand in the US it could be a life or death situation.
OG Shaka Zulu
Member
LOL how about going out drinking with classmates during the winter, you all leave the bar at the same time but everyone gets a cab 20-30 minutes before you do... for reasons. You say fuck it and end up walking 1/4th of the way home holding up your Black freezing hand the whole time before some cab driver with elephant sized balls has the courage to pick up a violent gangbanger out drinking with his law school classmates.
But I guess it was just my anxiety which caused all those empty and available taxi cabs to pass me! Or maybe it wasn't racism because you can see white hands better at night? Or maybe my white classmates have no anxiety?
But I guess it was just my anxiety which caused all those empty and available taxi cabs to pass me! Or maybe it wasn't racism because you can see white hands better at night? Or maybe my white classmates have no anxiety?
From what I've heard I thought it was worse in Japan?
Not wanting to leave the house is a mental health problem, assuming OP doesn't actually want to be house bound. It was caused by racism, but only talking to a professional will help that feeling (not the racism) go away.
Suggesting that anxiety is a factor isn't (necessarily*) to invalidate the racism. It's to suggest something that might actually help the OP.
*Sure some people can have ulterior motives, I know that.
LMAOOOO... this thread is absolutely crazy to me.
excelsiorlef
Member
The person you are replying to was reacting to someone suggesting the OP's experience might just be in his head. If you follow the chain someone says if there is anxiety it is caused by racism to which the reply was "not necessarily"
hey_monkey
Banned
I teach at a major university with a fair-sized conservative streak, and we had private workshops in our department about protecting against this kind of shit because we have a history on our campus of unwelcoming atmospheres popping up now and again. But I'm sure this happened with some of our profs, too, in other departments. It's awful. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that people are so privileged, protected, and oblivious as to affect your education and general well being like this.
Golden_Pigeon
Banned
*smh* at that "anxiety crowd", try to go out wearing a muslim garb or a hijab if you're a woman for a week to have somewhat an idea and then we talk.
CrimsonSquall
Member
Shit happens nigga. We all have those days
All depends where you live. A student town or a town with a lot of PoC are fine. Places like Cornwall freak me the fuck out as you get stared at.
Are you a therapist? Or a trained professional? If not how do you know it is anxiety? Are you a Poc?
D
Deleted member 17706
Unconfirmed Member
Not if you're white, you don't (unless you have anxiety, of course). That's his point.
I was lurking, didn't really have anything to say because you covered it very well, but my word, kill that monstrosity immediately!
Systemwarrior
Member
I feel the same sometimes. I live in Missouri (Kansas City). Ive definitely faced racism/profiling from the police and have been called racial slurs more times than I would like to count. Its gets stressful and discouraging sometimes, but we cant let it break us down.
Being someone who doesn't live in SF or even Cali I always viewed it as some sort of progressive Haven, and that pretty much every other place would generally be more prejudiced/less tolerant.
It also surprises me because I live in Florida and while that sort of thing has happened to me a few times, it hasn't happened to me with nearly the same frequency that it has to OP, and that goes against the preconceptions I had.
I'm pretty much as white as it gets, from a pretty white town. When I moved to Amsterdam I once had a conversation with my kickboxing instructor. A black guy. The stories he told. How people would put their purses in front of them when he was behind them in the train. How they'd speed up when they knew he was behind them. How people would address someone else when he was together with a white guy. It wasn't overt racism, but everyday small shit like this. Uptil that moment I never had a conversation with a black guy about stuff like this before. Never knew this was an issue at all. He said he'd gotten used to it by now. Back then I thought how fucked up it is he had to get used to being treated like that. And all the stories I've read on GAF only cemented that sentiment further. There's not much I can say OP, aside from offering you my sympathies. I'm sorry people are such judgmental, racist assholes.
Myths
Member
I have this sentiment or at least same thoughts. That's why I try my best not to bank, go out at dark, or even spend too much time shopping in stores. I feel like I'm being watched or under surveillance just because of my skin color. Hell, I can't remember when I last walked a couple of sidewalks...
According to some people (and I really hope they're a minority) it's down to POC to fix. Be more accommodating of racists or something.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Seriously, don't let these fools control your life like that..
OG_Original Gamer
Member
Sometimes I wonder if Marcus Garvey had the right idea, what would we have lost or gained if we had gotten aboard ships again and sailed across the Atlantic to Africa.
We're feared, undervalued, hated, and not just in the states, but around the world. It's a fucked up feeling to have, it's actually within the psyche inside our community.
Our value for most part is in entertainment, sports, comedy, acting, and music. Academic achievements are only recognized by us. Generational wealth, that should have existed from inventions 100's of years ago...doesn't.
We're feared, undervalued, hated, and not just in the states, but around the world. It's a fucked up feeling to have, it's actually within the psyche inside our community.
Our value for most part is in entertainment, sports, comedy, acting, and music. Academic achievements are only recognized by us. Generational wealth, that should have existed from inventions 100's of years ago...doesn't.
Captin Quacker
Member
really makes you wonder how the civil rights movement ever happened
SilentSoldier
Member
I've long since lost count of all the small microaggressions that have been done to me. It doesn't help that I'm a black man going into a field where there's so few of us (healthcare) or that I also have the misfortune of being a large black male at 6'3. I have to constantly walk on eggshells in every professional situation and also bite my tongue when confronted with these things in a hospital setting. So I totally understand why you feel the way you feel, OP and I wish there was more that I can do to say that it'll get better, but we all know that would be a lie.
And wtf at some of these comments too, like can some people learn to read a room before making a post or something?
And wtf at some of these comments too, like can some people learn to read a room before making a post or something?
Renegade Frost
Banned
We're really really really smart.
And extremely tenacious.
It'd be great though if people stopped beating on African immigrants.
Although I'm willing to bet that half the negro population around the world are aboriginal/indigenous
I'm on this boat. I'd fall under the brown category though. However I have long chunky dreads, scars on my face and arms, a Viking, terrorist or hobo beard depending on your perspective. I dress with an urban slant (teen of the 90's into hiphop from Brooklyn so its in my blood at this point). I get starred 99% of the time. I live in NH so its a bit expected but it happens everywhere, NYC, Boston, etc.
I own it like a muthafuker. I'm 39 and a single father of 2 kids, when I'm with my kids it throws people way the fuck off (One time 2 people came up to me and my kids and asked my kids if they where safe or being abducted, etc. lol). If I get a chance to talk to me, than I'm about to shift their paradigm of judgment. I do have to say, because I have a more unconventional thing going on things are different than the OP's case in certain places. I have gotten mistaken as a celebrity, crazy war vet or artist of some sort quite a bit. Especially around younger people and older women. I think with the older women its more of a curiosity thing
I will add this though, your internal vibe, expectation, self image, etc. will have an impact on how others perceive you. However many times what you will feel when in a new environment or first coming into the presence or vison of others is the vibe those people give off in relation to how they see and judge people like you (unconsciously or consciously on their part) , so you kind of have to over ride their vibes with how you want to be seen or who truly are instead of being pulled into their judgments and frames. That can change their vibe/energy about you pretty rapidly.