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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Read that for a moment. Don't you see what the problem with that is? I don't see how this approach will solve your problem you still going to be putting more weight into your interactions with girls you're actually attracted to. You're far better off just getting practice talking to girls you are attracted to or hell, people in general, rather than girls you consciously decide are less attractive. I don't know it just seems like a waste of time and effort, not to mention it is emotionally draining for both you and these so-called less attractive women.

What you're saying is by doing this, I am putting more emotional weight on myself and disrespecting women by considering the one's I'm talking to less attractive. Yikes. That's shitty. I hadn't gone through with any of this being it seemed shitty and I wanted to get an opinion on that. Thanks, I'm going to enjoy my date tomorrow and try find new avenues for talking to women that makes way for more interesting conversations. Appreciate the advice.
 

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Practice dates, sure. You might even end up liking them. However practice sex, no that's just using them when there are plenty of girls willing to just have hookups. What you have to learn is that women do the choosing not men. You have to make yourself appealing to them and be able to hold a conversation and be interesting. You can just look at an attractive woman in a bar and decide your going to be with her. It does not work that way, you could be a dating expert and she could still not be into you.

Like once I get a good topic going/a running start so to speak on a convo, I'm able to get a number. If I don't have a "point" of interest (a t-shirt, keychain, clothing brand, what have you) it's harder for me to talk without it being awkward. Doing stuff on campus helps, but hearing about guys who are able to just approach girls out of the blue and get a date out of it made me want to improve in that area.
 
I was making out with this girl at the pub. We did some shots. Super hot nurse. Wanted to come home with me and I was going to take her home and then she started doing the stumbly so I was like "ahh sheeit you're too drunk" so I sent her home in a cab. She texted me saying thank you for sending her home and wants to hang out in a few days. Feelin her for sure. Been texting back and forth all day. And shes been sending me snaps all day.

But after I sent her off in the cab I met another girl who ended coming back with. Now she just texted me and is coming over again tonight. I like this one too, shes cool but I'm really feelin the other one.

I can actually see something potentially happening with one of them.


Alllthough now that I think about it the one that came over last night said some kinda ignorant shit so I dunno. Ill probe her a bit more when she comes over tonight I guess.
 
I can actually see something potentially happening with one of them.


Alllthough now that I think about it the one that came over last night said some kinda ignorant shit so I dunno. Ill probe her a bit more when she comes over tonight I guess.

You know, considering I also have stories - although not like this - I can't and won't judge. (My "make out with hot girl at the club" rate is pretty high these days too, though I'm on hiatus.) I just gotta ask: how fucking charming are you? I'm just absurdly curious now.

Got a second date planned with the Brazilian girl, who apparently used to be a model back in São Paolo. Whatever I'm doing is apparently working. We're going hiking. I'm probably going to die from heat exhaustion, but I really can't wait.
 

Llyranor

Member
She is much better about it. She stays over much more now.

We have started talking about plans to move in together. Will probably happen once her lease expires. Her mom will have to come too, but these things happen.
That's nice progress, actually!
Is it wrong to "practice" going on dates and sleeping with girls you're not as attracted to? I mean, being attracted to them on some level is obviously gonna be a part of being with someone, and I do have a date coming up with a girl I am into, but I've been having convo troubles with girls I'm approaching (who I think are "out of my league" I know that's a bad mindset) out of the blue. I'm gonna be 21 in a few weeks so I feel I need to work on that aspect of myself for bars and whatnot. Does anyone have any advice in regards to this?
How would you feel if a girl you fancied used you for practice in order to date better catches?
 
The first girl I was actually being too shy to go talk to her and my friend was like dude shes chhecking you out and I was like I'm good so he shoved me into her. I had no choice but to talk after that. Then she wanted to dance so I reluctantly agreed because I hate dancing and we just started making out.

The other girl just asked if I wanted to have a drink with her and I said sure. I'm usually just laughing a lot and enjoying myself and I guess its a good look.

I forget how it got brought up but we started talking about racism and shit and she had the whole "racism isnt that bad, I mean, they just had a black president" thing going on. I changed the subject because I didnt feel like having the conversation at that point. I'll see how deep the ignorance goes tonight.
 

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
That's nice progress, actually!

How would you feel if a girl you fancied used you for practice in order to date better catches?

I would feel bad, sure, but I'd get over it pretty quickly. It'd be similar to being ghosted, I'd imagine. Fish in the sea, and all that. That doesn't make it okay though. I'd rather she not do that, but afterward I'd just take the L and move on, hurt feelings and all. Not trying to inflict that kind of emotional pain on anyone lol. Insecurities can be a jackass, trust me.
 

jdstorm

Banned
Hah! I mean It sucks, it really sucks, but it's not healthy to get obsessed or destroyed over someone. Right now I'm just sad. if she decides to end this relationship, I would have to respect it, even though the last time she messaged me briefly, she said she was still commited to this relationship. So as I said, I still have hopes that a break-up will not happen quite yet... but if it does oh well :'(

Did you end up going over and seeing her in person?

Because if its been a month and you couldn't bring yourself to go see her in person then maybe you should break up with her.
 
The first girl I was actually being too shy to go talk to her and my friend was like dude shes chhecking you out and I was like I'm good so he shoved me into her. I had no choice but to talk after that. Then she wanted to dance so I reluctantly agreed because I hate dancing and we just started making out.

The other girl just asked if I wanted to have a drink with her and I said sure. I'm usually just laughing a lot and enjoying myself and I guess its a good look.

I forget how it got brought up but we started talking about racism and shit and she had the whole "racism isnt that bad, I mean, they just had a black president" thing going on. I changed the subject because I didnt feel like having the conversation at that point. I'll see how deep the ignorance goes tonight.

I love those stories. It's how I ended up making out with the Mexican girl, basically. I actually have a 100% success rate with my friend's friends.

Are you hooking up with Salamando's kinda-racist ex?
 
Got a second date planned with the Brazilian girl, who apparently used to be a model back in São Paolo. Whatever I'm doing is apparently working. We're going hiking. I'm probably going to die from heat exhaustion, but I really can't wait.

Taking lessons from Tom Brady, I see. Good. No one wins at life like he does
 
Did you end up going over and seeing her in person?

Because if its been a month and you couldn't bring yourself to go see her in person then maybe you should break up with her.

And catch her mid bj with another dude?

He needs to break it off already, pretty obvious she’s mentally checked out
 
I love those stories. It's how I ended up making out with the Mexican girl, basically. I actually have a 100% success rate with my friend's friends.

Are you hooking up with Salamando's kinda-racist ex?
Sorry Salamando.

Yeah, I gota thank the neighbour for bringing me out. Those 2 girls werent her friends but it was a good look to be hanging out with a bunch of pretty girls. A few of her friends that were out and left early were also really pretty and smart and fun. I might have to inquire about 1 or 2 of them.
 

Salamando

Member
I love those stories. It's how I ended up making out with the Mexican girl, basically. I actually have a 100% success rate with my friend's friends.

Are you hooking up with Salamando's kinda-racist ex?
If he is, I feel so sorry for him. I've never had to tell a girl "no, just stop" during oral before.

I hope everyone in this thread participates in Real Pic whatever-the-fuck-month-it-is. Damn curious what some of you assholes look like!


Small update: Two dates scheduled for the next week. Was kinda impressed how quickly the one agreed to meet up! Took under 8 messages, 4 of which were about Bill Murray.
 
I cancelled on girl coming over because im tired. Hope she doesnt take it the wrong way. Im just like yo im fucking tired and have to work at 7am. Lets just hang out tomorrow. I want to go to bed soon.
 

NateDrake

Member
Did you really need to have a mama bird reference as the FIRST sentence of the OP -_-

Anyway, things are still going well for us. Boston was awesome.

Day 1: I was by myself. Went and saw the Pats. They lost. That sucked.

Day 2: Picked up the girlfriend from Logan. There was some miscommunication at the pick up. She was coming into Terminal C, I thought I was at Terminal C. We spent like 30 minutes going between baggage claims before I realized I was at B. No worries though. We went back to our hotel in Woburn. We were going to walk around downtown Boston, but she was tired from her flight so she took a nap. When she woke up, we walked around Woburn.

Day 3: Went to downtown Boston. Walked the freedom trail. Climbed to the top of the Bunker Hill monument. She didn’t like that lol. Too many steps. Afterwards, we went over to Cambridge. Had milkshakes at some Vegan hipster place called Veggie Galaxy or something. Was pretty good and I’m not even vegan! Afterwards, we walked around MIT for a bit. There was trustee party going on in tents. We walked over expecting to get turned away. A security guard approached us, but didn’t turn us away. Loaded up on free food and alcohol. For dinner, we went back to downtown and hit up Union Oyster House. I had been there before, but it was better this time. Split Lobster Ravioli and Calimari. Both were amazing. Best meal of the trip


Day 3: Picked up a rental car from Logan, then drove down to Falmouth. Had breakfast at Dunkies in Brockton. She wasn’t impressed with Brockton lol. After that, we drove down to Falmouth and checked into our bed and breakfast there. We then took a ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. Martha’s Vineyward kinda sucked lol. We had a really nice dinner at Sweet Life Café though.


Day 4: Walked around Falmouth for a bit. Such a cute town. It’s like Star’s Hollow from Gilmore Girls. So charming. Then we drove to Newport RI and toured The Breakers and The Elms. The Breakers wasn’t too impressive, but The Elms was neat. Afterwards, we drove to Providence WHICH WAS AWESOME. I was super impressed with Providence. The gf liked it more than Boston. Afterwards we checked our car back in to Logan, and then took the T to our second bed and breakfast near the Commons. Went to legal seafood and had lobster rolls. That night she said I was perfect and in love with me.

Day 5: Woke up, had breakfast then went to Faneuil Square since she wanted to pick up souvenirs. She ended up buying a patriots shirt for herself (which was HOT). Then we had to go catch our flight. She cuddled with me the whole flight home.

So yeah, great trip. Things have been great since getting back too. We are going to an international food festival on Saturday. And have been chipping away at Game of Thrones. She wants to watch the new Ken Burns documentary so we’ll probably squeeze that in there too.

last weekend she came over and watched Totoro. She didn’t like it as much as she expected. Not enough Totoro.

So yeah, we are just moving along smoothly.

I've been keeping tabs on this thread. It was so gross about the girl who kept her semen panties.
As an RI native, how can one not be impressed by The Breakers? Where did you go in Providence? Federal Hill?
 
Fuck :'((((((

What happened?

Also, I'm going to give you this piece of advice: you're not being your authentic self with someone who's meant to be your partner and confidante. You want to see her and help her. Guess what? That's how you're supposed to feel and act. You've got nothing to lose at this point; you can either allow things to deteriorate to absolutely nothing...

... or you can tell her exactly how and why you're feeling, because you're not crazy, not irrational, and not anything but wholly reasonable.

You're paralyzed right now because you don't want to "set her off." Believe me, I know what that's like, and it's the beginning of the end (if not the whole end, admittedly). But continuing to walk on eggshells isn't the answer.

Be honest.

Get off the cell phone.

Go see her, explain your thoughts (because you get to have feelings in a relationship), understand what she's going through and fill yourself with empathy and understanding, and see how she reacts.

Taking lessons from Tom Brady, I see. Good. No one wins at life like he does

She sent me a Rock at Rio video tonight with Gisele speaking. At this point, I understood about half of what Gisele was saying.
 
You can do it or she will, I'm sorry dude.
But there's plenty of women who don't behave like that out there, so sooner you end things with her sooner you get to meet them.

There's a 98% chance the relationship is over.

There's a 100% chance it's over if he continues to reciprocally ignore her and suppress his feelings to not somehow "offend" her.
 
Huh, so apparently the main girl I've been talking to has a cousin at work. I was just, what I thought was just casually chatting with another employee and she past by and gave me a mean ass look. So I shrug it off thinking she's just had a long day but then she past by again and the girl I was talking to started laughing and punched me in the chest playfully. Which I ain't gonna lie, I didn't expect.

So I was walking by her department later that night and she saw me approaching, turned to look at another employee and said loudly "by the way you know my cousin (insert her name here) that works downstairs?" And the guy looked so lost. I mean I don't think I was flirting with the girl but she hit me and I guess I can kind of see why the cousin would think I that. I wonder if she's gonna bring it up to her... jeez.
 
Is it wrong to "practice" going on dates and sleeping with girls you're not as attracted to? I mean, being attracted to them on some level is obviously gonna be a part of being with someone, and I do have a date coming up with a girl I am into, but I've been having convo troubles with girls I'm approaching (who I think are "out of my league" I know that's a bad mindset) out of the blue. I'm gonna be 21 in a few weeks so I feel I need to work on that aspect of myself for bars and whatnot. Does anyone have any advice in regards to this?
I ain't gonna hold you cuz, I did this exact thing when I was growing up. I would go out with some girls I didn't particularly like or found attractive. I also hung out at they're place because it would give me experience in being comfortable with talking to the opposite sex and ya know "other" experience. I kinda feel bad about it but it really did help my confidence when talking to women I was actually vibing with. Even though it was total asshole move. Like a real asshole move.

EDIT: ah shit my fault for the double post.
 
Is it wrong to "practice" going on dates and sleeping with girls you're not as attracted to? I mean, being attracted to them on some level is obviously gonna be a part of being with someone, and I do have a date coming up with a girl I am into, but I've been having convo troubles with girls I'm approaching (who I think are "out of my league" I know that's a bad mindset) out of the blue. I'm gonna be 21 in a few weeks so I feel I need to work on that aspect of myself for bars and whatnot. Does anyone have any advice in regards to this?

Not "as" attracted to? No, that's not wrong at all, provided you're at least open to the possibility. Sometimes things develop that you're not expecting. In other words, I think it's okay to be lukewarm on someone and still date them - people can surprise you.

As far as physical things go, if the opportunity arises and you're still lukewarm, it depends on how things are trending. Starting to like her? Maybe, then. Otherwise, nope out of there. Personally, I wouldn't sleep with them - but then, I don't sleep with a ton of people. Backing that assumption to, say, making out? I probably would, just to see if there's some chemical spark; I think that's okay too.

Now, if you're not attracted to someone at all, then no: don't even date them. Considering there's no possibly romantic (or sexual) cloud hanging over the encounter, you're going to treat it like talking to a friend - so, go talk to a friend instead.
 

Kevtones

Member
Fuck :'((((((


End it now. Why are you accepting this behavior from her? Call her and do it asap.

If she doesn't answer, wait a night for a response. If she doesn't or even text you back; text her the next day and keep it short:

'I called you yesterday to talk. I'm not happy in this relationship and it hasn't felt like one for awhile. I'm sorry but I cannot continue dating you. Good luck.'




Take control man. You deserve happiness and this ain't it.
 
Fuck :'((((((
Piggybacking off of diaboli, just go see her and try to be sympathetic and let her know you're trying to help but she's just not being receptive even though she's on social media. Hear her out and go from there. If she seems checked out of the relationship, then you're gonna have to do right by you and just end it. It sucks, I know it does but life's to short to deny yourself the happiness you deserve man.
 

Kevtones

Member
Rip off the band aid, you're doing the right things for the wrong person.

She either does not want to do it herself or she likes the idea that she has a boyfriend without putting in the work.

Put it this way, we strangers on the internet have more idea of how your feeling and give you more attention and advice than she is.


Exactly. Her actions say 'I give no fucks' about AdanVC time and time again. He's doing mental gymnastics to empathize and understand what is going on.

Adan, you feel like shit because of your GF. She's treating you poorly. She's neglecting you and taking you for granted.

Free yourself and give your love to someone that will relish, reciprocate and embolden it without condition.



Piggybacking off of diaboli, just go see her and try to be sympathetic and let her know you're trying to help but she's just not being receptive even though she's on social media. Hear her out and go from there.



If he does this he is just perpetuating the cycle of this relationship. It's a hopeful and delusional move.

He hasn't seen his gf in a month. She's not texting him. She's not responding to his texts. She's making no effort to see him. Again, it's been a month. The 'busyness' of his GF should push her towards him, it should make her find the time to not near-ghost him.

It's so clear. Adan needs to take control and bail.
 

AdanVC

Member
I think this was the last nail on the coffin.

I couldn't stand this anxiety anymore so I called her and decided to keep insisting until she answered me, I tried several times till she turned off her phone.................. but it seems she regret it because two minutes later she finally called back. We talk for about 10 minutes and she was only saying sorry over and over and over again, but everytime I asked her "What the heck is going on!!?" she only sighed and said sorry over and over to the point she started crying, I started crying too saying "it's okay, seriously, just tell me exactly why you have been acting like this with me this whole time!?" I even told her that I can't barely concentrate on my daily activities because of this. She only said that she feels impotent and very sorry for having me living with all this uncertainty, but that is not because of us. Suddenly she said she needed to hang the phone but that she will message me back in an hour or two... And surprise, it's been almost 4 hours since she said that and she hasn't message back. I called her few minutes ago and another surprise, she turned off her phone and it seems she also deleted fb messenger (or probably blocked me, fml). Seriously, if I wasn't that worried with this, now I am at the fullest. And very pissed off too to be honest.

What happened?

Also, I'm going to give you this piece of advice: you're not being your authentic self with someone who's meant to be your partner and confidante. You want to see her and help her. Guess what? That's how you're supposed to feel and act. You've got nothing to lose at this point; you can either allow things to deteriorate to absolutely nothing...

... or you can tell her exactly how and why you're feeling, because you're not crazy, not irrational, and not anything but wholly reasonable.

You're paralyzed right now because you don't want to "set her off." Believe me, I know what that's like, and it's the beginning of the end (if not the whole end, admittedly). But continuing to walk on eggshells isn't the answer.

Be honest.

Get off the cell phone.

Go see her, explain your thoughts (because you get to have feelings in a relationship), understand what she's going through and fill yourself with empathy and understanding, and see how she reacts.

Thank you for your advice. This definitely will not end well but I gotta be prepared for the worst now. When I was talking to her, she said very vaguely that we can talk on saturday but judging by the way she said it, it probably was just for the sake of saying something.

You can do it or she will, I'm sorry dude.
But there's plenty of women who don't behave like that out there, so sooner you end things with her sooner you get to meet them.

Yeah I seriously cannot believe the amount of mistery and suffering with her. Like, come on, this is starting to get mentally dangerous for both of us when everything can be solved if she just had a few minutes to talk! I guess soon I would be another lonely soul on the "break-up season" thread.

End it now. Why are you accepting this behavior from her? Call her and do it asap.

If she doesn't answer, wait a night for a response. If she doesn't or even text you back; text her the next day and keep it short:

'I called you yesterday to talk. I'm not happy in this relationship and it hasn't felt like one for awhile. I'm sorry but I cannot continue dating you. Good luck.'




Take control man. You deserve happiness and this ain't it.

Rip off the band aid, you're doing the right things for the wrong person.

She either does not want to do it herself or she likes the idea that she has a boyfriend without putting in the work.

Put it this way, we strangers on the internet have more idea of how your feeling and give you more attention and advice than she is.

Piggybacking off of diaboli, just go see her and try to be sympathetic and let her know you're trying to help but she's just not being receptive even though she's on social media. Hear her out and go from there. If she seems checked out of the relationship, then you're gonna have to do right by you and just end it. It sucks, I know it does but life's to short to deny yourself the happiness you deserve man.

Thank you very much for your words of support, guys. It's going to be a looong night for me with this situation. This weeked is going to be a decesive one. I still have hopes that this is just her going through a very very difficult depressive state but that perhaps she still wants to continue on this or she really will end everything, even though I would feel like shit knowing she is going away but still feeling pretty down. I'm just hoping for the best even if the best doesn't look too bright right now.
 

Ozorov

Member
I was making out with this girl at the pub. We did some shots. Super hot nurse. Wanted to come home with me and I was going to take her home and then she started doing the stumbly so I was like "ahh sheeit you're too drunk" so I sent her home in a cab. She texted me saying thank you for sending her home and wants to hang out in a few days. Feelin her for sure. Been texting back and forth all day. And shes been sending me snaps all day.

But after I sent her off in the cab I met another girl who ended coming back with. Now she just texted me and is coming over again tonight. I like this one too, shes cool but I'm really feelin the other one.

I can actually see something potentially happening with one of them.


Alllthough now that I think about it the one that came over last night said some kinda ignorant shit so I dunno. Ill probe her a bit more when she comes over tonight I guess.

giphy.gif


Are you going out like every day? Seems you got new story for every day :D
 
As an RI native, how can one not be impressed by The Breakers? Where did you go in Providence? Federal Hill?

The last mansion we went to was Hearst Castle. Nothing compares to that. But I was sort of in that mindset. The dining room was nice, but and some of the other rooms as well, but there wasn't much art and stuff. The bedrooms were all "eh".

The Elms had a lot more cool stuff going for them.

In Providence, we mostly just kicked it around the Dunkin Donuts center. We weren't really planning on getting out tbh. But all the arcitecture was just so coolm
 

afroguy10

Member
Been chatting with the girl from my work lately outside of work, it's good. Wee bit of light flirting, mostly just chat about TV or shows, movies, joking around with each other, that sort of thing.

One of the other girls at work told me yesterday when we were walking for the train that when a bunch of us went out a few weeks ago she asked the girl I'm chatting with how it was on the Monday at work as she couldn't make it out herself and the first thing she mentioned was how I'd disappeared with some other girl (really, the two of us only went to McDonald's because we were both drunk, tired and hungry. We got food, said bye to each other and then parted ways). My friend told her this and she apparently seemed quite happy to hear it.

I know I'm playing with fire with doing this with a work colleague but she's lovely.
 

Sygma

Member
Is it wrong to "practice" going on dates and sleeping with girls you're not as attracted to? I mean, being attracted to them on some level is obviously gonna be a part of being with someone, and I do have a date coming up with a girl I am into, but I've been having convo troubles with girls I'm approaching (who I think are "out of my league" I know that's a bad mindset) out of the blue. I'm gonna be 21 in a few weeks so I feel I need to work on that aspect of myself for bars and whatnot. Does anyone have any advice in regards to this?

It won't work buddy. If your mind isn't at it the excitement level will remain low which in turn, you guessed it, won't really help in the bedroom. Quite the opposite actually. Don't do that.

Simply be a perfectly good man to all women out there, even those you re not attracted to. That's the key. You don't need to sleep with them

Out of your league = low confidence. it's simple perception. If you can put her in her place while making her laugh, no girl ever will be out of reach. I've dated out of my league more than once and these were the best hookups / times. Dating in what I perceived was my league almost always led to shit shows. Like, dating is a place where you should give ya know, and to do that a man need to feel inspired. When you're inspired about as much as when you re in one of these bland moments of your life it won't get you very far

When you re not inspired at all because you re not attracted, it will be bad
 
"I feel hurt if a girl use me to 'practice' for a better catch"
"But in reverse i am totally doing it because it ain't me getting hurt"

Both of you are real pieces of human garbages.
 

gaiages

Banned
I was making out with this girl at the pub

I thought you were gonna not do that and work on yourself or something

It's officially fall now too

Its in January
People put a real pic of them for their avatar for the month

Too many creepy lurkers stalk GAF to save pictures of people for whatever the fuck they're doing for me to do shit like that.

"I feel hurt if a girl use me to 'practice' for a better catch"
"But in reverse i am totally doing it because it ain't me getting hurt"

Both of you are real pieces of human garbages.

Who even said that? Insults don't really work if you're not quoting the people you're calling garbage.
 
I finally got her number and...she rarely respond my texts 😑😑😑😑 I mean come on 😐 why you act like you like me in real life to only to ignore me on whatsapp 😐

But I guess sometimes it happens.
 
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