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[entremet]

DreamVisions made a thread on this many years ago, but I wanted to revisit this since it's seven years old.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=398986&highlight=opposite+sex+friendships

*Disclaimer, this seems to be a more common issue with heterosexuals. I'm not LGBT so I don't want to speak about dynamics I have no experience on. However, if LGBT representatives want to speak their frustrations with maintaining platonic relationships feel free.

Growing up, I mostly had male friends. And I had a crew of sorts up until college. College was when we grew apart and I then entered the workforce. During that time, I developed more female friends, strictly platonic ones. My guys got busy, moved, and so on.

But I developed what I call best friend relationships with two women, going on plus 5 years. But over the years, they peeled off as they got in more serious relationships. I never initiated much with them due to the whole respect for the SO thing, nor did I address it. They just died naturally. Luckily, I've rebuilt and made new male friendships along the way, so I'm not lonely in that regard.

However, this phenomenon has shown me that even in a more progressive world, these types of boundaries still persist. When I was younger I thought my friend circle would be more like sitcoms Friends or even Saved by the Bell, but obviously, that's not the real world. And the good thing is that I've gotten better at growing and maintaining friendships with other guys and these friendships just seem more stable long-term. Kinda sucks saying this as a progressive dude, but this seems to be the reality for many. And yes, I do know exceptions exists.

Have your opposite-sex friendships fizzled out as you gotten older?

 

[strafer]

I have no friends at all since I got older.

 

[How About No]

I'm roommates with my one opposite sex friend now, so I guess you could say it got stronger? Shrug.

 

[DrBo42]

I have no friends at all since I got older.

This.

Actually the opposite is the case for me. Kept my long time female friends and the male friendships fizzled.

 

[Ric Flair]

I have no friends at all since I got older.

I have 1 left that I care about, it seems that is just the way the cookie crumbles

 

[Familienoberhauptvogel]

oh opposite sex friendships not sex friendships.

I was like dude what world do you live in where it's normal to have a bunch ad how do I sign up.

 

[FlutterPuffs]

Yes, but it's fine. I'm married and while I care for my female friends I think with most of us with respective partners we know it cant work as well as before

 

[hodgy100]

I'm roommates with my one opposite sex friend now, so I guess you could say it got stronger? Shrug.

Ha this is where I'm at.
Gender hasn't played into my friendships lasting or not.

 

[entremet]

This.

Actually the opposite is the case for me. Kept my long time female friends and the male friendships fizzled.

yeah, there's lots of research saying that us guys are horrible at staying in touch lol.

https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazin...-loneliness/k6saC9FnnHQCUbf5mJ8okL/story.html

Yes, but it's fine. I'm married and while I care for my female friends I think with most of us with respective partners we know it cant work as well as before

Yeah. It's mostly birthday texts these days haha.

 

[Infinite]

I'm down to like 6 people I can really call my friends and half of them are women.

 

[Killer Queen]

Most of my friends were women but relationships and my partners all being the jealous type kinda consistently ruined that.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Yes, but it's fine. I'm married and while I care for my female friends I think with most of us with respective partners we know it cant work as well as before

This. Late night wine drinking and catching up just doesn't work anymore with a wife and kid at home.

 

[jstripes]

Most of my friends were women but relationships and my partners all being the jealous type kinda consistently ruined that.

This was my situation too.

 

[Chmpocalypse]

No. They've gotten even stronger, actually. My ladypals are my bloodsisters at this point. : D

(Responding as a bisexual male)

 

[Creepy]

I have no friends at all since I got older.

This.

 

[Jetman]

Distance is what usually kills any and every friendship of mine, as people get new jobs or careers, and move on, so does the friendship. It sucks. But even out of those, the friendships that I've somehow kept up have been female friends.

 

[gatling]

I've gotten more male friends due to associating with people that are married or have male family members. Friends of coworkers, etc. Them being 30s and up takes some of the pressure off of the "possilby-maybe" of dating, though it still happens some times just not as serious.

 

[HStallion]

This.

Actually the opposite is the case for me. Kept my long time female friends and the male friendships fizzled.

This is me as well. Women in general are much better at keeping in contact over the long run in my anecdotal experience.

 

[Vanillalite]

More that I'm a family and most of my friends are other families aka husband wife and kids.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Distance is what usually kills any and every friendship of mine, as people get new jobs or careers, and move on, so does the friendship. It sucks. But even out of those, the friendships that I've somehow kept up have been female friends.

My experiences too.

 

[Emerson]

I haven't really maintained any of the female friends I had from when I was single because the honest truth is most of those friendships were founded on at least some level of sexual attraction on my end.

I've mostly got male friends now (and always did) but the female friends I have now are primarily their partners. Fortunately some of my friends have really found some great people who really get along well with everybody, so it's been nice.

 

[Kuro]

I haven't had friends since high school and the friends I had then I actually hated.

 

[Aomber]

Yep, but then again so have most of my friendships in general

 

[ZOONAMI]

Yeah as you get older you get more and more isolated it seems like. Everyone has their own stuff going on so you really only see old friends for like weddings or maybe an occasional birthday party if anyone bothers to show up.

 

[v1lla21]

Sure, but that goes with all my friendships. I only really talk and kick it with like 4 people who've I've been friends for over 7+ years.

 

[Walter White Walker]

I haven't had any friends period since many years ago when I went to college. Ever since significant others, my kids, and extended family is more than enough socialization for me.
ain'tnobodygottimeforthat.gif

 

[hypernima]

Yeah it happens, someone else demands a whole lot of your attention now, and of course it would be more difficult if you have an opposite sex friend.

 

[brinstar]

The opposite for me, I have a pretty diverse pool of friends now. I'm still single though, so maybe that will change if/when I start a family

 

[cartographer]

What friendship is to me has changed overall. I don't do 1-on-1 stuff much anymore with men or women unless I'm in a relationship. Almost always couple stuff or group stuff these days.

 

[Timbuktu]

Not really. One of them asked me to be her son's godfather. I concur that guys might actually be harder once everyone has a family, unless you have a set activity that you do together regularly like going to cinema, watch football, play sports etc.

 

[Mr Swine]

Never had any real opposite sex friendships when young and now when i’m Older.

 

[CrocMother]

Most of my friends were women but relationships and my partners all being the jealous type kinda consistently ruined that.

Big reason I don't fuck with jealous types. I love my female friends like family

 

[jph139]

This is such a weird sentiment to me, since I mostly have female friends and no woman I've ever dated has had an issue with that. I can imagine friendships in general dwindling after marriage and children but I don't get why there'd be a gender split.

I dunno, it just doesn't cross my mind - I wouldn't have an issue with a girlfriend/wife having mostly dude friends, either.

 

[Shredderi]

I started with no female friends at all until recent years where I suddenly gained a whole lot of female friends with who I interact with almost every day now. But yeah if all of us were to get into relationships with other people I could see some of this dissipating. Maybe, or maybe not. We'll see I guess.

 

[Meowster]

I have the opposite issue being gay lol.

My girl best friends from high school are still my best friends to this day.

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

You have to put effort in to maintain your friends as you grow up. It's easy to lose them when you get a girl. I try and spin plates essentially.

The thought of having no friends is depressing.

 

[SRG01]

I readily make more female friends as they're more sociable and put more effort into a friendship than men.

And no weird 'alpha male' stuff too.

edit: I should also add that it also depends on the woman too, as some may think that I like them or something

 

[Yohane]

All my friendships died out after university.

It's almost impossible for me making friends as an adult (I'm 29).

Everybody is busy getting married and making kids.

 

[Jezbollah]

No, if anything the older I've got the better the friendships have been with my female friends. Although I'm at an age where I have a number of friends who are female who are very broody - lots of friends wanting to bang friends scenarios - can be tricky if care isn't taken :/

 

[Ultimadrago]

 

[EvilMario]

The opposite for me (male), I have very few male friends with most of my friends being women. It comes from mutual friends with my wife, but just new friends I've made on my own the last decade. I don't live close to where I grew up, so most of my guy friends from that time in my life have faded away.

 

[Ogodei]

Add me to the "barely has friends anymore" pool. I stay in touch with some people from college and basically 2-3 guys from high school. I never had enough in common with my grad school friends to really maintain those relationships (despite a bunch of them living with me here in DC area).

I mostly meet people through meetups and online dating now.

 

[womfalcs3]

I have no friends at all since I got older.

I have one now. That is fine by me though, as I have a wife and kids.

 

[TrueDefault]

I can converse with either sex, but most of my friends are of the opposite sex.

I admit it gets weird sometimes when I'm alone with some of them since we're a bunch of singles, but we play off each other well.

 

[Uncle_Classy]

My group of male friends hasn't really kept in touch with our group of female friends from college all that well. People just move on.

Made a couple close female friends at work when I started. We've all since moved on to different positions since then and they seemed to intentionally distance themselves after that. I've responded in kind. Sucks, but it is what it is.

 

[Pilgrimzero]

Got married. Wife doesn’t think it’s appropriate for me to hang out with other women. So there ya go.

As for same sex friends, not much there either since everyone is married with families. Hard to do things as friends together that doesn’t involve the internet.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

All my friends fizzled out once I got older.

 

[Original Famous Ray]

I don't as many friends at 40 then I did when I was 20 but the ones that I do have are great. Half of them happen to be woman and I consider them to be an important part of my life. I think its a great and healthy thing to have friends that are the opposite sex.

 

[Saganator]

Good luck keeping your opposite sex best friends when you get into a serious relationship/married. Even an opposite sex roommate has caused me problems. Hell, good luck keeping any of your friends as you age.

 

[always crazy bacon]

All my friends fizzled out once I got older.

Once you get older and have families that's just the way it goes.