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[Advocatus Diaboli]

Outside of conversation is where the ignore thing happens. She just would not make eye contact with me. When I enter my class I walk right by her and she would just look down or ahead. But I know she saw me. Because she told me how I always come late to class. But if I go approach her she would smile and talk to to me always. But I always have to go to her. Or she keeps playing that ignoring game.

Live up to your username and take a fucking shot.

No one here can analyze this stuff you’re posting.

This is why I put a rule in the OP (the ZackieChan hypothesis) about the amount of content people write about people they haven’t asked out yet.

Good luck.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

Tinder message was just "Hello "

I'm getting laid tonight lads

 

[Blam]

These Tinder matches are pretty annoying half the time they never even reply, even after you just matched with em.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

These Tinder matches are pretty annoying half the time they never even reply, even after you just matched with em.

Because they've got 25 million other matches to choose from!

 

[Blam]

Because they've got 25 million other matches to choose from!

I can't forget that.

 

[vern]

Sex on a twin bed is impossible

Stand on the side and bend her over?
Stand on the side and have her lay on her back?
Just get on top of her or her on top of you?

How fat are you both that you can't have sex on a twin bed? Sex should be the easy part, sleeping after on a tiny bed is a pain.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

Stand on the side and bend her over?
Stand on the side and have her lay on her back?
Just get on top of her or her on top of you?

How fat are you both that you can't have sex on a twin bed? Sex should be the easy part, sleeping after on a tiny bed is a pain.

I'm a vigorous sexcrobat, I need a lot of room so I can have variation. Twin sized beds have always been miserable in this respect for me.

 

[mike6467]

I haven't posted much in here yet, but I'm actually starting to go on dates again, so maybe now. I just got out of a 5 year relationship in June, and I've had a total of 4 relationships since I was 22 (2007) and I've only been single 10 months during that time. The point being I haven't dated much to begin with, and this will break one of the longest stretches I've ever had. The last time I actually went on a proper date before now was in 2011. Holy shit.

I'm not sure if I'm rusty, or if I never really got sharp to begin with. The dates I've been on have all been fine. It's just that they all resemble platonic hangouts with any of my other friends. Even when I know there's interest there, I can't seem to intensify the conversation.

Last night I went out on a second date with a pretty awesome girl I met like 2 weeks back. First date was just drinks, it was a nice evening that led to us talking for 2 hours longer then we initially planned on. Then last night we played some bar trivia and hung out and talked. A ton. We share a lot of critical beliefs, goals and passions. The conversation just flows. She was laughing constantly, she complimented me several times and was looking for every excuse she could to make physical contact. She initiated making plans for next time. She basically sent every signal I could've been looking for.

Then today she texted asking if I was only interested in being friends, because I didn't seem to be present on a romantic level. It sucks, and it really drove home the point, because I'm definitely interested in her. I just have a hell of a time initiating or guiding conversation so it goes beyond friendly stuff. I know some of it is doubt because of how long it's been since I dated last, along with the fear that I'll really go for it and fail. From a practical perspective though, I really don't know what "going for it" looks and/or sounds like. Should I just be reading up on mental strategies for flirting and practicing those?

It's bizarre for me, because all this stuff comes naturally to me when I'm in a relationship, but for some reason it feels horribly out of place in the dating stage. Any strategies or specific techniques/attitudes to focus on would be helpful.

Aside from that, I'm looking forward to hanging out in this thread more often and using the resources here to make this easier, and hopefully contribute something in the process as well. Thanks!

 

[vern]

I'm a vigorous sexcrobat, I need a lot of room so I can have variation. Twin sized beds have always been miserable in this respect for me.

A vigorous sexcrobat. 😂

You can pile driver her on the floor with her ass up against the side of the bed then.

Or do a standing 69.

Carry a harness and some hooks with you wherever you go and swing each other from the roof.

Push the bed up on its side against the wall and just use the now empty room.

For such a sexcrobat you aren't very creative.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Match.com is a weird site. No one seems to read messages at all, and I guess a lot of girls just have free accounts? For what, just to see how many guys check you out? Been trying out a couple paid sites, and it's not particularly worth writing home about.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

Outside of conversation is where the ignore thing happens. She just would not make eye contact with me. When I enter my class I walk right by her and she would just look down or ahead. But I know she saw me. Because she told me how I always come late to class. But if I go approach her she would smile and talk to to me always. But I always have to go to her. Or she keeps playing that ignoring game.

Ask her out. Have fun.

 

[Salamando]

I just matched with a highschool friend's little sister. Never talked to her, haven't talked to her brother in 10 years. Do I tell her that I knew of her 14'ish years ago?

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[Spoiled Milk]

We're gonna get wonton soup and then...!

I just matched with a highschool friend's little sister. Never talked to her, haven't talked to her brother in 10 years. Do I tell her that I knew of her 14'ish years ago?

Yes, it's an ice breaker.

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Homework? How young is she?

Bad form, Scott.

 

[Ernest]

Girl I went out with a few times, who was very friendly and touchy-feely and physical (we made out on both first and second dates), was cold as ice during our 3rd date, and just gave a hug goodbye. Pretty sure she found another dude she likes better sometime between our 2nd date and this 3rd date. Oh well. She lives further away than I would prefer anyhow!

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[Spoiled Milk]

😎

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[Ernest]

That does sound like she's got a better offer to me, hey at least she went through with the date though.

It's actually a good thing, as I'm juggling a couple other women right now who I feel that I match with far better than her, so now I don't have to worry about letting her down and wasting both our time, and instead focus on these other two.

 

[jdstorm]

I think its mostly from the balding and lots of grey in my beard. Im trying to embrace it but its not easy. People say I still look fine but it definitely makes me feel older. I used to be a skinny, full head of hair, clean shaven pretty boy and now I'm a bigger bearded balding dude. I look like a completely different person than I did even just a few years ago. When I start shaving my head soon here its guna be rough because I look like an insane convict with a shaved head. I think my pond to fish from will shrink drastically soon here.

The demographic of girls that show interest in me is also totally different than it used to be.

Im also self conscious about my lack of education and mediocre career and lack of interior design sense. Im always apologizing for my shitty place before a girl comes over. Its clean.. I just feel like a hobo sometimes. I wear my clothes into the ground as well. All things I should probably work on but I am the definition of procrastinator.

Then there is the whole past thing. Its hard for me to tell stories of my younger years without sounding like a crazy person. So I usually stick to stories about me from when I was in relationships. I'm not very open about talking about my past with girls because I worry about judgement. Ive definitely scared some away being too open before. I guess that adds a little mystery anyway.

When you eventually shave your hair, make sure you get some nice glasses and maybe a hat. It will make you look sophisticated and swauve. People always say Dress for the job you want and its the same with dating.

Be the person you think the type of girl you want to date would like. Sounds like you just need to find a new passion.

Also keep your head up. Today is tomorrow's past. Keep doing things now that the type of person you want to date will respect and pretty soon no date will care about stuff that is in your "deep past"

 

[True Savior]

I've bad self-confidence. Had it as long as remember. And it's kinda hard when dating. Any Dating-GAF in the same situation, and how are you feeling about dating?

Endure. Go on several dates, no matter how hard it can be for you. Things get normalized when you got the experience, even if it's shitty one. Also, there's always someone else on the other side which, many times, is in the same exact situation. You will get much more comfortable when you go on dates regularly.

 

[timetokill]

Ugh

Having one of those "I'm gonna die alone" lonely nights

 

[Salamando]

Well, I can't forget the past 24 hours quickly enough.

After the terrible date with the beautiful woman, I decided to link up with another girl I'd been chatting with. She was into kink and just wanted to play with someone. I would be the sub, she'd be the dom (I'm a switch, and had been dom'ing kinda-racist girl, needed to be a sub for a little bit). She wanted to do X, Y, and Z, I okayed X and Y, and asked about A and B. She agreed to A and B. Well, she was very into Y. So much Y, so much. A and B never happened. Just too much Y. I went along with it, thinking "give and take", but there was only take, no give. Asked her about A and B, and surprise - she's too tired. She dom'd the way she wanted to, didn't give a shit about me.

Come home to my apartment, went to get something from my storage unit. Surprise again - there's water damage! Losses weren't bad. Spent time cleaning that up (photographing EVERYTHING). I can replace everything that was lost for under $200, but that's $200 I don't want to eat. Need to talk to my renter's insurance in the morning.

With all that, my late night run sucked. Head just wasn't in it - only did 3 miles.

So here I sit...stressed over lost money (due to no fault of my own), two promising leads severed for the toxicity they were, and giant red welts across my back. If I drank, now is when I'd do it.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Ugh

Having one of those "I'm gonna die alone" lonely nights

Get on Tinder instead of GAF for a start.

 

[SatansReverence]

Get on Tinder instead of GAF for a start.

A one night hook up doesnt solve the going to die alone bit yo.

 

[brawly]

Get on Tinder instead of GAF for a start.

Tinder makes it even worse if you don't get matches/conversations/dates.

 

[artsi]

A one night hook up doesnt solve the going to die alone bit yo.

It's not just for hookups though, it can be used to find actual relationships, some prospective dates can even turn into friendships.

Hell, I've even found clients for my business through Tinder.

Tinder makes it even worse if you don't get matches/conversations/dates.

To date one needs to get over the fear of rejection and put themselves out there.
If you're too afraid to play you will never win.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

I got a message from a girl I'd only gone on a date with once like 5 weeks ago asking how I was and shit. I think she did because I remade my tinder account last night and she saw it haha. I didn't talk to her because I was sick to the point of hospitalisation for like 2 weeks shortly after our date. Had a quick little convo and I told her to hit me up when her Uni exams finish.

I matched with a girl on tinder that opened with 'want to travel to Australia together' so we'll see where that goes lol

Bruh I live in this surprisingly beautiful hellscape and even I'd think travelling this land is way too too big an ask for someone I'd just met haha. Especially driving, like I've driven for 14-16 hours in a relatively straight line and didn't even leave my state... or come close to another state, for that matter.

Edit: so many bots on tinder lately, wtf? It used to be like 20% bots 2 months ago but tonight it's like 70%

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[Widdle Puppy]

Pretty little thing want to meet Tuesday and is really chatty/enthusiastic about it but honestly I'm bored of the whole first date thing. Just not feeling it. Anyone else find first dates boring ?

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Pretty little thing want to meet Tuesday and is really chatty/enthusiastic about it but honestly I'm bored of the whole first date thing. Just not feeling it. Anyone else find first dates boring ?

I only find them boring because I'd much rather go out and do something really fun and exciting for a first date, but understandably, girls aren't too keen on motorcycle trips, jet skiing around the islands or similar shit for a first date. If I turn out to be a weirdo, they have no out.

I've previously organised lunches and stuff but I think next time I'll suggest ice skating or movies or getting hammered before playing mini golf or something.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

im currently more pondering what text to put underneath my picture on tinder .

i know the best is probably to keep it simple :

" Hi , im .... and i like .... and ...... "

but somehow i feel i am missing something there .

That would be fine, but do feel free to have fun with it. I usually include a stupid line like:

"I'm outdoorsy, in that I like drinking on the beach"

"My mum says I'm cool and I know people who tolerate me being around, so I'd say I'm a pretty great catch."

"Not into threesomes, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I'd update my parents on my dating life."

It's dumb as fuck, but seems to be popular. Whenever I read a good one on a girls profile, it helps in making me swipe right. At least I know she has a sense of humour.

 

[gaiages]

I just matched with a highschool friend's little sister. Never talked to her, haven't talked to her brother in 10 years. Do I tell her that I knew of her 14'ish years ago?

Maybe, but when my roommate's first comment to an acquaintance of ours he just met was "Hey I remember you from middle school, you were in 6th grade when I was in 8th!" and I thought that was pretty creepy and uncomfortable. He tried to pull out his year book to prove it.

Just word it better and I think you'll be fine.

 

[Megalosaro]

Where the hell is Arti. Is he okay?

 

[Messofanego]

I've been on dates with and talked to like six doctors in the course of a year, and I've yet to be impressed with their conversational skills. If it's through text, it's "ok and u" and if it's on a date I'm doing all the talking and they have nothing to add or initiate about. Not even surface stuff like pop culture. It's just a pattern I've noticed haha.

 

[Neoweee]

I've been on dates with and talked to like six doctors in the course of a year, and I've yet to be impressed with their conversational skills. If it's through text, it's "ok and u" and if it's on a date I'm doing all the talking and they have nothing to add or initiate about. Not even surface stuff like pop culture. It's just a pattern I've noticed haha.

I think it depends how far they are into their careers. I'd imagine they normalize once they are done with their residency, but the later years of graduate school or residencies leave them shell-shocked, with almost no time to cultivate interests or personal lives, and often coupled with cross-country moves to boot.

 

[Peltz]

You're not going to find what you're looking for in bars (you've not specified what places your looking). Single women in their 30's they exist but are probably divorced and not out there where your looking. But if she's not divorced, and hasn't found anyone I'd personally be looking at the reason for that.

In urban areas, many women in their 30s are single because they're just career focused. It's true for many of my female friends from law school - the majority of them are single because they work so many hours and are still early on in their careers.

I've been on dates with and talked to like six doctors in the course of a year, and I've yet to be impressed with their conversational skills. If it's through text, it's "ok and u" and if it's on a date I'm doing all the talking and they have nothing to add or initiate about. Not even surface stuff like pop culture. It's just a pattern I've noticed haha.

Eh... I'm sure it has nothing to do with their occupation. That's just most people in general these days.

Doctors who work in hospitals are usually very sleep deprived though. That could be a culprit for lack of conversational energy.

 

[Messofanego]

Eh... I'm sure it has nothing to do with their occupation. That's just most people in general these days.

Doctors who work in hospitals are usually very sleep deprived though. That could be a culprit for lack of conversational energy.

Oh yeah, I'm sure it's not just doctors, just a pattern I've noticed. I've worked in hospitals too, long hours, but I don't make a date when I'm tired and they don't look it anyway. They just don't initiate at all, which is lame cause unilateral conversations are boring. Sometimes they even have "I can talk for the world" in their bio, yeah right lol.

 

[Neoweee]

Oh yeah, I'm sure it's not just doctors, just a pattern I've noticed. I've worked in hospitals too, long hours, but I don't make a date when I'm tired and they don't look it anyway. They just don't initiate at all, which is lame cause unilateral conversations are boring. Sometimes they even have "I can talk for the world" in their bio, yeah right lol.

A lot of doctors just don't have free-time during the work day to text or do planning for dates. It can be an absurdly demanding work day/night/weekend...

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Nvm hes alive

 

[haikira]

Anyone have any experience dating someone who'd believe in paranormal, ghosts, psychics, etc, while not believing in it yourself?

We've been dating for over a month, and it's been going great so far, and we're both really into each other. We've got loads of stuff planned out for the rest of the year, and we're both really psyched for it all.

Though I've recently discovered that her and her mum would believe in a lot of similar stuff as mentioned above, whereas I flat out wouldn't. I was quite stunned at first, but I've had a few days to think it over. I have talked to her about it, said that i'm not crazy about it, but I want to be respectful, let her be her, and that I think a relationship is about honesty, respect, and compromise.

While I meant what I said, I'm also a little nervous about it truth be told, and just wanted to hear if anyone else had any similar experiences?

 

[Megalosaro]

Anyone have any experience dating someone who'd believe in paranormal, ghosts, psychics, etc, while not believing in it yourself?

We've been dating for over a month, and it's been going great so far, and we're both really into each other. We've got loads of stuff planned out for the rest of the year, and we're both really psyched for it all.

Though I've recently discovered that her and her mum would believe in a lot of similar stuff as mentioned above, whereas I flat out wouldn't. I was quite stunned at first, but I've had a few days to think it over. I have talked to her about it, said that i'm not crazy about it, but I want to be respectful, let her be her, and that I think a relationship is about honesty, respect, and compromise.

While I meant what I said, I'm also a little nervous about it truth be told, and just wanted to hear if anyone else had any similar experiences?

My girlfriend is pretty superstitious. After her grandmother died, her mom and her were worried they were going to get haunted.

You talk it over, be respectful and hear them out and then move on. Unless it's super disruptive or obssessive. No need to v attack them or anything

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

My girlfriend is pretty superstitious. After her grandmother died, her mom and her were worried they were going to get haunted.

You talk it over, be respectful and hear them out and then move on. Unless it's super disruptive or obssessive. No need to v attack them or anything

Actually... I need your advice. I remember you talking about this. It’s kinda similar.

The girl I’m dating (I guess we’re at that point...) is religious. I’m not. I’m interested in the sociological, anthropological, literary/cultural, and archaeological impacts of religion. I’m cool with being a good person and helping others. But I don’t go to church and don’t “believe.”

How do you manage that? How does it impact any long-term decisions?

 

[brawly]

To date one needs to get over the fear of rejection and put themselves out there.
If you're too afraid to play you will never win.

I'm not afraid to play, in fact I was quite eager for a while. But basically didn't get any matches at all here or bots. I've had like three genuine conversations, all ghosted me. The app would always fuck up after a while aswell and constantly tell me there's no one around.

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[always crazy bacon]

https://youtu.be/l8FdF5wh4HQ?t=3

 

[timetokill]

Get on Tinder instead of GAF for a start.

Tinder makes it even worse if you don't get matches/conversations/dates.

To date one needs to get over the fear of rejection and put themselves out there.
If you're too afraid to play you will never win.

I've been going on dates, though I've been unsuccessful at getting into a long term situation. I can get sex if I'm desperate enough for it. And I've been rejected plenty of times.

The issue is more that I'm not really clicking with people... I feel like nobody understands and accepts me.

Anyway, I slept it off... I just get into that headspace sometimes late at night when all I have are my restless thoughts.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Ummmm. So when that girl came to my house last time, we had to take a trip to the store to buy condoms. So I bought them. I noticed last night when I got home from work that they are gone. Seems like she took them. Now why on earth would she take the whole box? So she could use them with other people? Or to make sure I only used them with her? Like why the fuck would she take them? They weren't hers.


I feel that way too sometimes, Timetokill.