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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love
- Thread starter Advocatus Diaboli
- Start date
I wish it worked 60% of the time!
That sort of thing never works for me, unfortunately.I say "Hi [name], how's your [weekday]?" or wait for them to open.
Sorry I'm not that good with openers ¯_(ツ_/¯
Girls usually never initiate the conversation with me either...
PancakeBurglar
Member
Honestly with openers I find that has long as you don't sound like a total loser/creep anything that's decently friendly will give you a decent reply rate. Keep in mind some people won't respond regardless of what you send them. At the end of the day it's a numbers game.
Megalosaro
Banned
Friday:
She ended up bring super cranky that night. Even so we ended up having a good time. We went and had ikea for dinner. Then we went to karaoke and that was super fun. We sang a bunch of Gaga and Beatles. Then we went home and watched school of rock.
Saturday:
We woke up. Had adult fun time. Took a shower. We then went, picked up her neice ( who adores me because I let her play pokemon go). We then went to a good festival out in irvine. That got ruined pretty quick. A dog tried to bite the neice. Didn't make contact but it scared her, which was amplified by the fact she is autistic. Fucking dog. It was some shitty little chihauhau.
After that we went to a tour of Chocxo. That was cool. The chocolate was good too.
Then we went and checked out Halloween stuff at Rogers Garden. Neither of us particularly like Halloween, but we still had fun.
Then we went, worked out a little at her place, then went and had dinner at tender greens.
Then we went and cuddled in my car for a few hours. Then we started started falling asleep. She took me up to her apartment and took a nap on her couch.
Tonight we are having dinner with my aunt and cousins.
She ended up bring super cranky that night. Even so we ended up having a good time. We went and had ikea for dinner. Then we went to karaoke and that was super fun. We sang a bunch of Gaga and Beatles. Then we went home and watched school of rock.
Saturday:
We woke up. Had adult fun time. Took a shower. We then went, picked up her neice ( who adores me because I let her play pokemon go). We then went to a good festival out in irvine. That got ruined pretty quick. A dog tried to bite the neice. Didn't make contact but it scared her, which was amplified by the fact she is autistic. Fucking dog. It was some shitty little chihauhau.
After that we went to a tour of Chocxo. That was cool. The chocolate was good too.
Then we went and checked out Halloween stuff at Rogers Garden. Neither of us particularly like Halloween, but we still had fun.
Then we went, worked out a little at her place, then went and had dinner at tender greens.
Then we went and cuddled in my car for a few hours. Then we started started falling asleep. She took me up to her apartment and took a nap on her couch.
Tonight we are having dinner with my aunt and cousins.
PancakeBurglar
Member
My girl has been sick since like Wednesday, she has a really bad fever so I took her to the urgent care this morning and am currently in the waiting room.
You've said this before, but unlike a race or project/goal, this sort of thing involves someone else, and you cannot build or keep momentum on your own, not when schedules cannot coincide, even if both parties are equally interested.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
But what does she think of Colin Kaepernick?
LookAtMeGo
Member
Yeah, its freaking me out a lil bit but I'm not guna freak out too much and bail. I'll just chat her up and tell her how I feel. See how she reacts.
Maybe she is someone who normally has her guard up but she let it down. Not that she regrets doing any hot and heavy stuff with you per se, she just might regret going that far that soon and psyched herself out and put her guard back up. It happens for sure. Dont beat yourself up over it. It happens to the best of us. I've had a few girls over the last bit that I have had really good chemistry with and we are laughing all night, they are really into me, I'm like fuck yeah this is going awesome. We end up hooking up at the end of the night. I never hear from them again. Just another memory. On to the next one.
I take it you didnt puke on her then?
Lol at least 18.Homework? How young is she?
28
Megalosaro
Banned
Her number 2 team is the hawks ( I try to b explain that you can't have a number two team) so she will never, furore him for bring a former 49er.
She supports his kneeling though. We are both sympathetic to bc BLM.
She supports his kneeling though. We are both sympathetic to bc BLM.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Probably. Hell, I had this happen a couple of months ago. Looking back, all of the signals ("You can walk back with me, but you're not coming upstairs...") were basically that she actually wanted to smash.
Anyway, who cares? It's not something you need to worry about anymore.
On my end, I'm hanging out with the Brazilian girl today. I bought flowers, and I need to head up to her area in about an hour and a half. We have all of three hours to actually spend time together. Not ideal, but I'd rather have a little bit of time with someone I like versus a lot of time with someone I don't.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
I'd like to be able to read this when it happens or just understand what is going on better. I don't think people can read other's minds but it's just kinda confusing. So were they just going out for some fun and wanted to see where it went? It's just confusing sometimes.
If a girl wants to meet for drinks at a bar at 11:30 at night is this basically a fuck date and I shouldn't expect to hear back from her the next day because that's basically where I'm at now only we didn't hook up just made out pretty intense?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
The point is, you never know. But yes, meeting someone for drinks at 11:30 is pretty much the definition of a booty call unless y'all work odd shifts and that's when you're grabbing food.
The most important thing you need to accept is that, in many of these situations, you're just never going to know. You need to be comfortable with that. The only data point that should matter to you is that she's ignoring you. Her answer to seeing you again was impliedly "no." Thus, worrying about her feelings or motivations shouldn't concern you: you didn't do anything wrong, you expressed interest, and it wasn't reciprocated.
Literally everyone here has been in that situation before.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
ah I see okay. I guess It's best to avoid dates like this then if you want to hear back or want something more serious? because I usually always get a second date but I've never really went on a night date like this before so I'm in uncharted territory.
Best thing to do mate, speak to her about it, she might just be used to things moving a bit quicker than you.
Gunslinger
Member
Guys let me ask you a question. So I met this girl in my class and she's a shy one. We started talking in Facebook then one day she sent a message on my phone about random chit chat. I like her so I didn't care how she got my number I never asked for her either. But I noticed she always avoid eye contact with me. Never say hi in person I have to go approach her to talk. When I do we talk she listens to what I have to say and she asks me questions. We debate about things. She remembers what we talk about. She smiles at my joke but keeps up that ignoring bs. Like she looks down, stare straight when we cross paths. I know she saw me. At least say hello? Should I keep pursuing this person to build a relationship?
Megalosaro
Banned
I was thumbing through Modern Romance at the bookstore. Seemed like a good read, though the sections I skimmed were kinda depressing
toadsworth
Banned
No but I was fairly drunk, lol.
Coukd be a lot of things. Just ask her out for a date. That should clear it up.
Gunslinger
Member
Any idea what it could be? Because I like her and girls are good at sensing that. Perhaps she wants to keep her distance and send me signal that she's not interested like that? I am fine with that I guess but I wish she would just tell me that.
This Ms.Walking-in-the-dark-dog-lady I saw last week is the first Tinder-date I've met that never writes on Tinder besides setting times to meet. I guess it's kinda good since you don't talk about so much things before seeing each other. We set up a date for tomorrow (we wrote to each other on thursday). She hasn't wrote anything since. Either I'm being ghosted or that's just the way she rolls. I guess I find out tomorrow.
Just finished getting coffee with an absolutely beautiful woman. There won't be a second date. My immediate thoughts...
- Daytime coffee dates have to be the least chemistry-inducing date ever. Compared to a nighttime happy hour, you have to work much harder to get the same level of spark.
- The lack of spark was so apparent that when we left the coffee shop, she started to walk back to her car without so much as a goodbye hug.
- Conversation was seriously lacking - I've never felt this uninteresting to a person before. She'd talk constantly about herself, but never asked me question and barely reacted to anything I said.
Just needed to vent a little. One of those dates that, you see the girl, you get soo excited, and then the excitement is crushed...
- Daytime coffee dates have to be the least chemistry-inducing date ever. Compared to a nighttime happy hour, you have to work much harder to get the same level of spark.
- The lack of spark was so apparent that when we left the coffee shop, she started to walk back to her car without so much as a goodbye hug.
- Conversation was seriously lacking - I've never felt this uninteresting to a person before. She'd talk constantly about herself, but never asked me question and barely reacted to anything I said.
Just needed to vent a little. One of those dates that, you see the girl, you get soo excited, and then the excitement is crushed...
conceited(Is that the right word?) is probably the most unattractive thing.
Widdle Puppy
Banned
Just put "I like movies and pizza" works great for the Mighty LookAtMeGo
Messofanego
Banned
I've had a couple of those. The girl hardly asks any questions, so you got to fill in the dead air. Usually I use the coffee shop as a place to grab a drink and then go somewhere for a walk but when they want just that, it's a sign they don't want anything further and not much will come out of it. At least it means you waste less time (and money) on the date
protomouse
Member
Any advice for dating someone who lists "the patriarchy" as one of her dislikes? Like, I have pretty bad first-hand experience with feminists (basically, the kind you can't reason with), and she seems nothing like that. Just kind and down-to-earth.
I mean, I know better than to bring up politics on a first date. But what about etiquette? I usually maintain that I pay for the date, until she insists that I don't. I also have a habit of falling back on old-fashioned gentlemanly ways, like opening doors, "ladies first", and all that. Do I avoid these things because they can be interpreted as sexist or patronizing?
I mean, I know better than to bring up politics on a first date. But what about etiquette? I usually maintain that I pay for the date, until she insists that I don't. I also have a habit of falling back on old-fashioned gentlemanly ways, like opening doors, "ladies first", and all that. Do I avoid these things because they can be interpreted as sexist or patronizing?
Just be yourself
LookAtMeGo
Member
My favorite Tinder line I've used is "Looking for love in Alderaan places"
Haha good one! No new story for tonight? Disappointed.
LookAtMeGo
Member
When I first got on there I was all like I like going to the gym and on hikes and I love nature and animals and blah blah blah. It never really worked well. Just making a short and sweet one works so much better.
I need a new one though. This movies and pizza one is getting old.
I was thinking about "no herpes pls"
I need a new one though. This movies and pizza one is getting old.
I was thinking about "no herpes pls"
First, I would ask how she got my number. Even if she's cute, that is still creepy until explained and proven otherwise. If someone wants my number to talk they should ask me directly (unless it's work related or school). Not a fan of weird side-stuff to get info on people.
That being said, the rest of it is weird. She won't say much in public or make eye contact, but will do enough digging to get your number without you knowing???
ok
Personally I wouldn't pursue Lu bu cause I see like 5 unattractive qualities in that tiny paragraph, but if you like her, sure, go for it.
Spoiled Milk
Banned
Sex on a twin bed is impossible
Try it and report back. But with your Brad Pitt-look I guess it shouldn't be a problem for ya. And why not go all the way with "no aids please".
LookAtMeGo
Member
Im no Brad Pit by any means. And I was joking about the no herpes pls. Dont take my advice about Tinder. My internet game is weak. I get matches but I rarely ever meet anyone off there. I do much better just going out. Its like a 95%/5% split between getting dates in person and internet dates.
Ill report back with any nee stories. I stayed in this weekend like a good boy and played lots of PUBG
Ill report back with any nee stories. I stayed in this weekend like a good boy and played lots of PUBG
She will once you ask her out.
It could be that she has low self-esteem, mood swings, is playing hot and cold, is feeling out the situation, isn't interested in you but still likes to talk to you, is socially inept...
How's the eye contact outside of a conversation? Imo that's pretty telling.
My maaan, any chicken dinners?
That was my plan! There was a home-made popsicle stand down the street. Before we'd even finsihed our ice coffee, she told me she'd have to leave soon to attend to some work. That was maybe ~40 minutes in.I've had a couple of those. The girl hardly asks any questions, so you got to fill in the dead air. Usually I use the coffee shop as a place to grab a drink and then go somewhere for a walk but when they want just that, it's a sign they don't want anything further and not much will come out of it. At least it means you waste less time (and money) on the date
I don't even know if it was conceited or she was just a poor conversationalist. It felt like her areas of interest were so narrow and there was no overlap for topics I was familiar with. We spent most of the time talking about her job...
LookAtMeGo
Member
Errrrmahgerd so close so many times but no. One match I was mowing down people in my car it was hilarious but then the circle ended up in an open field and the very end with only 3 people left and I hid behind the only tree in the area and the bastard came from behind and took me out. I been just landing at the school a lot because the loot there is awesome and the action is intense.
I have low self confidence. I mask it well behind liquid courage and I can fake confidence pretty well. I know I shouldnt feel the way I do about myself but I do.
If you have low confidence, you're a 10 m deep lake and I'm mariana trench.
Improve your self-image. At the end of the day experience beats everything though, unfortunately
LookAtMeGo
Member
I think its mostly from the balding and lots of grey in my beard. Im trying to embrace it but its not easy. People say I still look fine but it definitely makes me feel older. I used to be a skinny, full head of hair, clean shaven pretty boy and now I'm a bigger bearded balding dude. I look like a completely different person than I did even just a few years ago. When I start shaving my head soon here its guna be rough because I look like an insane convict with a shaved head. I think my pond to fish from will shrink drastically soon here.
The demographic of girls that show interest in me is also totally different than it used to be.
Im also self conscious about my lack of education and mediocre career and lack of interior design sense. Im always apologizing for my shitty place before a girl comes over. Its clean.. I just feel like a hobo sometimes. I wear my clothes into the ground as well. All things I should probably work on but I am the definition of procrastinator.
Then there is the whole past thing. Its hard for me to tell stories of my younger years without sounding like a crazy person. So I usually stick to stories about me from when I was in relationships. I'm not very open about talking about my past with girls because I worry about judgement. Ive definitely scared some away being too open before. I guess that adds a little mystery anyway.
The demographic of girls that show interest in me is also totally different than it used to be.
Im also self conscious about my lack of education and mediocre career and lack of interior design sense. Im always apologizing for my shitty place before a girl comes over. Its clean.. I just feel like a hobo sometimes. I wear my clothes into the ground as well. All things I should probably work on but I am the definition of procrastinator.
Then there is the whole past thing. Its hard for me to tell stories of my younger years without sounding like a crazy person. So I usually stick to stories about me from when I was in relationships. I'm not very open about talking about my past with girls because I worry about judgement. Ive definitely scared some away being too open before. I guess that adds a little mystery anyway.
My self-confidence waxes and wanes, but it's never all that high. It helps to have something you can take pride in. Some triumph that's uniquely yours, that you can think back to to boost yourself up for a date. For me, it's my job. Before dates, I tell myself "I've given presentations to generals in the United States armed forces. I've developed software used in life and death decisions. I've been responsible for funding my job may or may not get. This date, by comparison, has no negative outcomes - only good. I got this"
Well... That's the hard part.
Messofanego
Banned
I have had no issue with feminists on dates, but I also identify as one. Offer to pay. If she wants to split, split it. I don't expect feminist women to freak out at opening doors but maybe avoid saying "ladies first" hehe.
LookAtMeGo
Member
It definitely feels nice when you got a fresh cut, some new kicks and some new clothes. Gota have some nice cologne. Smelling good works wonders. Thats all temporary though.
Gunslinger
Member
Outside of conversation is where the ignore thing happens. She just would not make eye contact with me. When I enter my class I walk right by her and she would just look down or ahead. But I know she saw me. Because she told me how I always come late to class. But if I go approach her she would smile and talk to to me always. But I always have to go to her. Or she keeps playing that ignoring game.