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NFL Off-Season Thread: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?"

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W

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Buckethead said:
Why is someone who has higher pursuits than chasing pussy 24/7 labeled gay?

I don't get it.
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Read a bit too much into that one. I just said it wouldn't surprise me. It would surprise me if he's still in the league in 4 years though.

...and he definitely seems like a legitimately nice guy. Not that those two things are at odds.
 
C

chuckddd

Fear of a GAF Planet
BigAT said:
I said this to a friend a few months ago. His mannerisms and the way he speaks, sometimes he comes off as a subtly gay guy. Plus the story of the guy that is struggling with his sexuality and becomes overly religious to try to avoid seems to happen so frequently, it's almost cliche.
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We're going to need to get Mrs. bionic an account here so she can tell us how it feels when bionic leaves her for his one true love.
 
B

Buckethead

Banned
9TKSq.jpg
 
W

Wellington

BAAAALLLINNN'
Futurevoid said:
PFF's write-up on top 20 and worst 20 tackling Corners in 2011. They go pretty hard at the Eagles Corner trio who were all in the bottom 20 list (reinforcing the Eagles as one of the worst tackling teams in the league in one of their earlier articles). Some shout outs to some quality tacklers including some surprising names like Kareem Jacksonwho I know is much maligned by Texans GAF. Worth a rad:

https://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2012/02/12/2011-tackling-the-cornerbacks/
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FRIENDLYFIRE3.gif
 
E

eznark

Banned
Charles Woodson is a bad tackler? looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

PFF is notorious for its inability (or unwillingness) to look beyond the stats. Of Woodson's 16 missed tackles, I'd be willing to be 4-8 came in the backfield and were cleaned up by filling linebackers. He missed tackles because he blitzed spots to blow up plays, and did so effectively.

If you consider those positive plays, which I certainly do, you're looking at a whiff rate of 0.08%. Awful player!

Tramon Williams...no excuse.
 
B

bob_arctor

Tough_Smooth
Futurevoid said:
PFF's write-up on top 20 and worst 20 tackling Corners in 2011. They go pretty hard at the Eagles Corner trio who were all in the bottom 20 list (reinforcing the Eagles as one of the worst tackling teams in the league in one of their earlier articles). Some shout outs to some quality tacklers including some surprising names like Kareem Jacksonwho I know is much maligned by Texans GAF. Worth a rad:

https://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2012/02/12/2011-tackling-the-cornerbacks/
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Revis is probably the best tackler on the Jets.
 
L

levious

That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us.
Wellington said:
By the way we had favorite player or whatever, but I just want to point out that my favorite person in all of sports is very easily Bill Parcells. I respect his opinion more than any other, he is a living legend in my mind.
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yup, probably my favorite coach. This is my favorite story of his:

But where Belichick really might have learned something from Parcells was in the psych lab. Before the Giants met the Rams in a 1989 playoff game, Parcells was determined to play mind games with Taylor, who always had trouble with Rams left tackle Irv Pankey. He left a round-trip plane ticket to New Orleans on Taylor's stool. Taylor asked Parcells what it was. "A ticket to New Orleans,'' he said. "You fly down there, give the return ticket to [linebacker] Pat Swilling and tell him to fly back for the game. No one will know. You both wear 56. He's the only guy who can handle Pankey. You can't.''
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then the camera cuts to parcells and he's got this smug smile and says "yeah, Lawrence had a pretty good game that week..."
 
F

Futurevoid

Member
Update:

Jason La Canfora

Former Seattle LB Lofa Tatupu visited the Saints Monday. He did not play in 2011 after being released shortly after lockout ended
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Also for Giants fans:

Patricia Traina

Safety Chad Jones will try to pass a preseason physical this year. If he returns to football, what a story that would be.
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For non-Giants fans, Jones is the 2010 Third Round pick for the Giants who was in that awful car accident in New Orleans that nearly cost him one of his legs. Reports from last year had Chad running a 4.7 in the 40 thanks to his rehab. He recently said that he feels like he's 80-85% of his usual self. I didn't think he would ever make it onto the field again but if he does - wow! Looking at the pics of his leg after the accident, it's unbelievable the Giants may get this guy back.

Here's a pic of his leg from late 2010:

http://photos.nola.com/tpphotos/2010/10/chad_jones_rehabilitation_12.html
 
E

eznark

Banned
Wrayfield said:
It was a greasy piece, and I was in a food coma for a good 2 h.
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I got up early this morning and ran six miles just so that I could feel good about my upcoming Culver's lunch. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, guilt free double bacon butterburger and concrete malt!!!
 
D

Dragon

Banned
GAF I've made a huge mistake.

tumblr_ls0s38zRcS1qz9czy.gif


I stupidly asked this girl out on a first date tonight without realizing it's Valentine's Day. So not only will it be impossible to find a restaurant where there isn't a wait but it's fucking Valentine's Day. I like this girl but bleh, I'm assuming I need to get her flowers.
 
W

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Dragon said:
GAF I've made a huge mistake.

tumblr_ls0s38zRcS1qz9czy.gif


I stupidly asked this girl out on a first date tonight without realizing it's Valentine's Day. So not only will it be impossible to find a restaurant where there isn't a wait but it's fucking Valentine's Day. I like this girl but bleh, I'm assuming I need to get her flowers.
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lol. Flowers on a first date can definitely send the wrong signal. It's all how you play it off.
 
A

Alligatorjandro

Banned
Dragon said:
GAF I've made a huge mistake.

tumblr_ls0s38zRcS1qz9czy.gif


I stupidly asked this girl out on a first date tonight without realizing it's Valentine's Day. So not only will it be impossible to find a restaurant where there isn't a wait but it's fucking Valentine's Day. I like this girl but bleh, I'm assuming I need to get her flowers.
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Take her to Mcdonalds.
 
E

eznark

Banned
Uh, you're going out with some ogre who didn't have previous plans on Valentine's Day. Take her to a truck stop, buy her a can of Olde English, drill her in the bathroom then leave her there where she probably works weekends anyway.
 
F

Futurevoid

Member
eznark said:
Uh, you're going out with some ogre who didn't have previous plans on Valentine's Day. Take her to a truck stop, buy her a can of Olde English, drill her in the bathroom then leave her there where she probably works weekends anyway.
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:jnc

Just wrong.
 
W

Wrayfield

Member
Dragon said:
GAF I've made a huge mistake.

tumblr_ls0s38zRcS1qz9czy.gif


I stupidly asked this girl out on a first date tonight without realizing it's Valentine's Day. So not only will it be impossible to find a restaurant where there isn't a wait but it's fucking Valentine's Day. I like this girl but bleh, I'm assuming I need to get her flowers.
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Cook for her? Not sure how old you are and if you have a place of your own, etc.
 
D

Dragon

Banned
Wrayfield said:
Cook for her? Not sure how old you are and if you have a place of your own, etc.
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I own a condo but my cooking expertise is limited to a George Foreman Grill. My friend is telling me just to go earlier than normal so I won't have to wait anywhere and then go out for drinks afterwards. She lives like twenty minutes away so I can pull the whole, hey why don't you just stay over so you can continue drinking bit. Which has worked.

And eznark I know you're rooting for me buddy.

Alligatorjandro said:
Eznarks advice is probably the best last minute plans out there.
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Patriots fans should stick together!
 
B

bionic77

Member
eznark said:
Uh, you're going out with some ogre who didn't have previous plans on Valentine's Day. Take her to a truck stop, buy her a can of Olde English, drill her in the bathroom then leave her there where she probably works weekends anyway.
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You are such a hypocrite.

You guys make such a big stink when Big Ben follows your first date instructions but when you or some other GAFer is railing a she-pig in a truck room rest stop suddenly it is cool!
 
V

Vyer

Member
eznark said:
Uh, you're going out with some ogre who didn't have previous plans on Valentine's Day. Take her to a truck stop, buy her a can of Olde English, drill her in the bathroom then leave her there where she probably works weekends anyway.
Click to expand...

You aren't a young man anymore ez, your go to moves might not work for the youngins.
 
E

eznark

Banned
bionic77 said:
You are such a hypocrite.

You guys make such a big stink when Big Ben follows your first date instructions but when you or some other GAFer is railing a she-pig in a truck room rest stop suddenly it is cool!
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I'm assuming that a woman with nothing better to do than go out on a first date with a slug of a Pats fan would willing take it from all sides in a truck stop and not call the police afterwards.

Vyer said:
You aren't a young man anymore ez, your go to moves might not work for the youngins.
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When my wife leaves me I am fuuuuuuucked
 
B

bionic77

Member
eznark said:
I'm assuming that a woman with nothing better to do than go out on a first date with a slug of a Pats fan would willing take it from all sides in a truck stop and not call the police afterwards.



When my wife leaves me I am fuuuuuuucked
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Those kind of assumptions are what got Ben in trouble in the first place!

Speaking of valentines. You single kids be sure to enjoy your time and nail as many sluts as possible. If you can't get an attractive girl (I empathize with you Pat fans) then get a she pig like Dragon did and turn off the lights and think of someone else. Just because I am not getting laid these days doesn't mean you guys can't be getting some!
 
E

eznark

Banned
bionic77 said:
Those kind of assumptions are what got Ben in trouble in the first place!

Speaking of valentines. You single kids be sure to enjoy your time and nail as many sluts as possible. If you can't get an attractive girl (I empathize with you Pat fans) then get a she pig like Dragon did and turn off the lights and think of someone else. Just because I am not getting laid these days doesn't mean you guys can't be getting some!
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Fucking hell, bionic is the new Larry.
 
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