Source: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/...es-of-grey-uic-sex-charge-20150223-story.html
But hey, it's just a movie right, no harm will come from it.
What? Some stupid movie didn't do this. Some fucking psycho kid did this.
Source: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/...es-of-grey-uic-sex-charge-20150223-story.html
But hey, it's just a movie right, no harm will come from it.
This kind of thinking is absolutely horrific. There's a number of possibilities why someone would later claim that sex was not consensual when it indeed was or at least there was a grey area like intoxication was involved.It is messy but a question I ask myself in these situations is "what does the accuser have to gain in these situations?" And the answer is going to be is, nothing. So if they gain nothing why lie or make exaggerated statements?
If you are roleplaying and don't have a safe word and/or KNOW the boundaries of your partner, then I guess it sucks for you if you end up punching someone who doesn't want to be punched and get arrested. Plan better next time.
What? Some stupid movie didn't do this. Some fucking psycho kid did this.
Not sure why you just added this. lol
So like a woman claims she doesn't remember what happened the night before, therefore she was too drunk to consent. You say that at the time she consented and actively engaged in sex.
How do you prove she consented?
You don't see how problematic that is?
At any point in that book or movie does she ask him to stop and he keeps going? Is there something where there's some heavy BDSM and her inner monologue is going on like , "It hurt and I whimpered no...stop. But really my objection was playing coy" blah blah blah? I can't imagine how there hasn't been major blowback if that is the case. So I imagine it's realized as fully consensual In the book/movie, including the times she feels uncomfortable and wants to stop?
Obviously this guy is completely in the wrong regardless of the story. I just want to figure out if there's inherently dangerous concepts in the book. Other than BDSM of course personally it freaks me out, but if two people are fully consensual and take the right precautions then... yea.
Pro-tip: if a girl is so drunk that she won't remember what she said or did the night before, do not engage.
There is no such scene in the movie at least.
Nothing really like that in the book, either. She just holds her tongue because he's repeatedly told her that he needs to be able to hit her if they're going to be able to have a relationship. It doesn't help that she never fully understands the concept of spanking or whipping in a BDSM context and instead continually refers to it as him "beating" her. And the fact that he's constantly describing it as a punishment for making him angry doesn't really do much to frame it in that context anyway.There is no such scene in the movie at least.
Difficult to tell in which measure this was honest (extreme) ignorance
This kind of thinking is absolutely horrific. There's a number of possibilities why someone would later claim that sex was not consensual when it indeed was or at least there was a grey area like intoxication was involved.
I sincerely hope you're never put on a jury
Nothing really like that in the book, either. She just holds her tongue because he's repeatedly told her that he needs to be able to hit her if they're going to be able to have a relationship. It doesn't help that she never fully understands the concept of spanking or whipping in a BDSM context and instead continually refers to it as him "beating" her. And the fact that he's constantly describing it as a punishment for making him angry doesn't really do much to frame it in that context anyway.
Basically, it's just a textbook physically abusive relationship with a BDSM sign hung around its neck.
Not sure why you just added this. lol
So like a woman claims she doesn't remember what happened the night before, therefore she was too drunk to consent. You say that at the time she consented and actively engaged in sex.
How do you prove she consented?
You don't see how problematic that is?
That...doesn't sound like a fun book to read. I'd welcome everyone to instead read Nana to Kaoru which gave me a general idea about BDSM, safety, trust, etc. In a good environment. I don't enjoy S&M but I can certainly see ghe appeal.Nothing really like that in the book, either. She just holds her tongue because he's repeatedly told her that he needs to be able to hit her if they're going to be able to have a relationship. It doesn't help that she never fully understands the concept of spanking or whipping in a BDSM context and instead continually refers to it as him "beating" her. And the fact that he's constantly describing it as a punishment for making him angry doesn't really do much to frame it in that context anyway.
Basically, it's just a textbook physically abusive relationship with a BDSM sign hung around its neck.
Nothing really like that in the book, either. She just holds her tongue because he's repeatedly told her that he needs to be able to hit her if they're going to be able to have a relationship. It doesn't help that she never fully understands the concept of spanking or whipping in a BDSM context and instead continually refers to it as him "beating" her. And the fact that he's constantly describing it as a punishment for making him angry doesn't really do much to frame it in that context anyway.
Basically, it's just a textbook physically abusive relationship with a BDSM sign hung around its neck.
Nothing really like that in the book, either. She just holds her tongue because he's repeatedly told her that he needs to be able to hit her if they're going to be able to have a relationship. It doesn't help that she never fully understands the concept of spanking or whipping in a BDSM context and instead continually refers to it as him "beating" her. And the fact that he's constantly describing it as a punishment for making him angry doesn't really do much to frame it in that context anyway.
Basically, it's just a textbook physically abusive relationship with a BDSM sign hung around its neck.
And it is the straw that breaks the camels back.
And this is what's supposed to be the book that exposes the world to BDSM?
Fuck.
Holy crap, no kidding.
It isn't an instruction manual or a documentary. It is its own narrative with its own lead character who has his compulsions.
She willingly volunteers herself to get "punished" by him as bad as he can give it. She doesn't enjoy it, he seems ultra confused about what he is doing and why and it destroys their relationship.
Spoiler alert the BDSM stuff pretty much goes away in the second book and it becomes a lame ass soap opera.
Ah so traditional Beauty and the Beast plot development. No wonder it's so popular.
Ernest honest examples of why someone would lie about being raped.
Source: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/...es-of-grey-uic-sex-charge-20150223-story.html
But hey, it's just a movie right, no harm will come from it.
You're on a forum where we discuss video games where you can brutally kill people. Do you not realize the irony of this statement?
ALWAYS HAVE A SAFEWORD. Even then, definitely do not engage in S&M play with someone you don't completely trust.
Coming from a religious family and having pre-marital sex or coming from a racist family and having interracial sex come to mind. There was also a story on reddit recently (so take it with a grain of salt) about a man who did not want to have sex with a woman but she claimed she would accuse him of rape if he did not, so she ironically used that threat to rape him. Not that it's all that common.
But let's think about those for a second. This means that in these hypotheticals that the person so ashamed of the sex that no one else knows about feels the need to go through the exceedingly invasive process of investigation for rape just to avoid the "shame" of having had sex. Think about how realistic that would be. I know you said take it with a grain of salt but please never cite reddit as source for anything beyond how stupid people who cite reddit are.
Having sex with someone who blacked out is a person that can't give consent that is rape my man.
In another study 25% of healthy college students reported being familiar with alcoholic blackouts. 51% of the students reported that they had had at least one blackout. Blackouts were reported during activities such as spending money (27%), sexual conduct (24%), fighting (16%), vandalism (16%), unprotected intercourse (6%), and driving a car (3%). So a significant number of students were engaged in a range of possibly hazardous activities during blackouts.[22]
Which is something the book failed to address at all. No clue about the movie. BDSM communities hate the book, because it leads to people doing stupid as hell things without educating themselves.
Apparently this guy has no idea what consent means, which is fucking sad, considering he's apparently smart and shit.
Coming from a religious family and having pre-marital sex or coming from a racist family and having interracial sex come to mind. There was also a story on reddit recently (so take it with a grain of salt) about a man who did not want to have sex with a woman but she claimed she would accuse him of rape if he did not, so she ironically used that threat to rape him. Not that it's all that common.
Ernest honest examples of why someone would lie about being raped.
Well, to get a higher thrill and better representation of reality, some couples might act it all out with pleading and crying and whatnot. But then you also have a safeword in case things go too ham.I can't blame the movie or book. You have to be pretty fucked in the head to think beating a girl as she's crying for you to stop to mean "keep going".
Hard to use a safeword with a necktie stuffed in your mouth.
So you think it is completely dependent on the fact that they don't remember the next day rather than their ability to actually actively participate at the time? So for example two students at a party, both drunk, decide to go back to the dorm and have sex. Lets say the girl who blacked out was the one to make the move. It's a simple case? I don't think it is.
Interesting little bit of information about students
Google: false accusations of rape stories
The Brian Banks Story: How a false rape claim ruined a boy's
Google: Brian banks
http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7986979/redemption-brian-banks
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Banks_(American_football)
I have no idea why this creature fabricated a rape accusation and adhered to it the whole nine yards to his conviction and release from prison.
Perhaps she wanted attention, or perhaps he scorned her somehow, or perhaps someone found out about it and shamed her leading to an encounter evolution into rape, I can only speculate. Perhaps she's just a physcopath? This is a little off topic so I'll just say many people have suffered and are currently suffering because ignorant people made faulty assumptions like you've just done.